


Got This

by Asoreleks



Series: Juggling Daggers [1]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: A little bit cracky, AU, AU is always OOC, Action, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Humour, Post Ultron to Post CACW, Romance, Smuff, Smut, Surprise Guest Appearances - Freeform, romanogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-09 01:27:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 141,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7781539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asoreleks/pseuds/Asoreleks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes life is like juggling daggers; and sometimes life is like juggling daggers one-handed while performing a ribbon dance. Follow Nat as she allows herself to discover that even if having it all turns out to be somewhat catastrophic, it does not mean she can’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Red Monday

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I grew up watching shows like Buffy and Dark Angel, where women kicked serious butt, and still had their own emotional issues to deal with that did not make them 'weak'. I had a lot of she-roes as I grew up, but something subtle happened to make them disappear from what was mainstream. Thinking about this issue, this plot bunny was born in my mind. It may not be perfectly Beschdel, but I hope you like it anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited this chapter on 07-09-2016 to add a little bit on firearms laws that a native of the country concerned had pointed out, which I realised would be fair to include in the representation of that country.

Summary: Sometimes life is like juggling daggers; and sometimes life is like juggling daggers one-handed while performing a ribbon dance. Follow Nat as she allows herself to discover that even if having it all turns out to be somewhat catastrophic, it does not mean she can’t.

 

Rating: **EXPLICIT** MATURE for violence, language and graphically described sexual scenes. There are also adult themes that may be trigger topics for some readers.

 

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter One

Red Monday

 

18 April 2016

Natalia Romanova inhaled sharply as she returned to consciousness. Pain shot down her arms to concentrate between her shoulder blades. Opening her eyes a few millimetres she surveyed her surroundings, taking in as much information as she could. Her wrists were cuffed and she was suspended a foot from the floor by manacles. Again.

This time she was nude save for a pair of flesh-toned panties. There were no signs of life in the square cement block she found herself in and she was grateful that her captors had at least hosed the floor clean of previous blood splatter. She could still smell the metallic tang of iron, so she knew this was a regular interrogation room.

Cautiously she lifted her head and checked out the room. Besides the grey floor with patches of wet, there was not much else in the room: Small grate on the floor to the right, which she definitely could not fit through. It probably had bits of blood and flesh clogging it anyway judging from the faint stench. No cameras. One solid steel door, which apparently had the hinges on the outside. Hook on the ceiling that the chain she was suspended from was attached to.

She turned her mind to assessing her body’s condition. Aside from the strain on her shoulders she only had a couple of bruises on her legs from kicks she had blocked. That one guy was built like a brick shithouse. Her neck burned like hell and she must have been having some sort of reaction to the drug they’d stuck her with to incapacitate her. It was like the mother of all wasp stings.

She closed her eyes in concentration and deduced that she had not been violated. Fuckheads probably wanted her awake before they did that so they could see the results of the pain they inflicted. Natalia allowed herself two seconds of gratitude for having escaped brutality and another two for ire at having lost her Widow’s Bite weaponised bracelets before she started on her escape.

As usual the idiots who captured her did not think to weigh down her legs. Why did they always think that exhaustion from being hung from her shoulders would do? If they really wanted a chance at detaining her then they should have strapped an anvil to her ankles and made sure it weighed at least 550 lbs. But thinking out pointers on how the enemy could improve would do nothing to help her out of the situation.

Sucking in a breath to energise her muscles, Natalia curled her body up towards the ceiling. She hooked her feet around the chain that she was hung from and straightened out so that she was upside down. Binding the chain around her manacles, she twisted and turned shortening the distance between herself and the ceiling before she deemed the amount gathered to be enough. Then she let go and dropped to the floor, her weight providing enough leverage to break her binds. She now had two useful pieces of jewellery.

Next step: getting out of the cement box. The redhead began to scream frantically and within a few minutes a large olive skinned man opened the door to swagger in, a lecherous grin already plastered to his face. He barely had a second to grasp that the voluptuous woman they had brought in was not right there where she should have been before he met with her calves and felt his neck snap as she hurled him to the floor from a handstand. His AK-47, a sash of bullets, two 9mm Makarovs (what were the odds of her getting her hands on firearms that made her feel like she was at home?) and a dagger were hers in three seconds.

The dagger landed up in the heart of the next person to step into the room while she was still crouched over the dead thug. She contemplated retrieving it but decided against that path. She didn’t have any clothes on and her hands were already full with guns. Besides, who knew what kind of communicable diseases the bastard had in his blood? Her immune system could handle a lot, but she was not about to test its limits with unnecessary exposure to some vicious jungle virus.

Stepping over the seizing body of the just fallen man, Natalia fired down the corridor hitting the man who was running towards her. Another began to shoot from behind him, but she got him better than the graze he landed on her thigh. She would have preferred to have made a silent exit but once shots were fired that was impossible. With a resolute stride she reached the end of the corridor and found a stairwell. It was always better to go up despite what critics of horror movies preached. Up meant reaching a ground level if you were in a basement or a roof that could be jumped from. Keeping to the corners, Natalia made her way up the stairs, arriving just in time to kick the exit door back and into the thug that had just pushed it open. She peeked around and found him unconscious and spurting blood from his nose.

She could hear more footsteps running towards her and shouts from at least four different men, but the light bouncing off the wall opposite her was definitely sunlight so she had a good chance of getting out on this level. She concentrated on the sounds coming towards her and thrust out her arm to fire two shots before pulling back satisfied that she heard two corresponding thuds. She repeated the action and felt sure of a clear way. The redhead stepped out into the corridor and was immediately assaulted with searing pain in her right shoulder.

‘Motherfucker!’ she thought in Russian as she spun around to glare at the bastard who had thrown the mini fire extinguisher which had hit her shoulder. She did not hesitate to blow his balls off with the automatic rifle she had fluidly swung around her shoulders and into her grasp.

There was a window right next to his rapidly bleeding out form and Natalia made her way towards it, careful to avoid the puddle of red as she assessed the outside environment. A quick glance told her that she was still in Rio de Janeiro and she seemed to be a few avenues behind the famous Copa Cabana strip. She was three storeys up and there was a park beneath the window. How brazen were these drug dealer guys to have set up in the middle of the richest area in the whole of South America pretending that this was just another office building?

Natalia took in the verdure beneath her and noted one amorous couple in the distance looking as if they were trying to hide what they were obviously doing under a tree and two women walking with strollers down a marked path over to the left. She could have taken the risk of finding a better route out but she felt she was in no condition to take such a risk. At least the window could be opened.

Ditching the Kalashnikov and one of her 9mms, she quickly clambered out and jumped. She landed with practised ease and flowed into a roll. Righting herself, she saw that she had caught the attention of the two women who had been walking along with their babies. Their faces clearly showed that they were astounded and Natalia used what she had to reel them in.

“Help!” She yelled in Brazilian-accented Portuguese, putting on a stumbling gait as she ran towards them. “He’s trying to kill me!”

“Who?” The woman on the right asked. She had blonde streaked hair and green eyes.

“My ex! He kidnapped me. I had to shoot him but he’s still coming. Please!” Natalia pleaded with them. The second dark-haired woman had already whipped off her black gym track top and wrapped it around Natalia’s shoulders. “Oh no! You have children. I can’t drag you into this.”

Natalia made to run off, satisfied with her cover story but was held in check by the blonde’s arm. She thrust a pair of keys into Natalia’s palm. “These are my car keys. It’s the white Mercedes B-class on the corner. Run! I had a jealous boyfriend once too. Run!”

“The car has a tracker. We’ll call the police and they’ll find you. Now run!” The second woman said as she dragged her friend and their children off towards another car.

Natalia was surprised at her luck but did not falter as she quickly made her way to the white German vehicle parked next to a parking meter. She unlocked the car and hopped in, zooming off just as she saw men spill out of the building she had just left.

As soon as she was far away enough, the redheaded Russian slowed down to blend in with the traffic and glanced around the interior of the car. There was a gym bag nestled between the back seat and the front passenger seat. She reached for it and tossed onto the seat next to her, keeping her eyes on the road as she rummaged around. She found a black pair of Adidas trousers and contorted to put them on, grateful that the car was an automatic. Purple leopard print Havaianas that were a size too big completed her new ensemble. She decided to nix the manacle jewellery and got the cuffs off with a bobby pin she found in a side compartment.

Next she punched in a request on the on board GPS, searching out doctors’ offices in the greater area and found one that suited her needs. She erased the request and checked the glove compartment just in case and found a small pistol. That was significant. Gun politics in Brazil was a tension-fraught topic for the public. Tough laws controlled the legal acquisition of a firearm. It was illegal to carry a gun outside one’s residence without a special permit that was usually only afforded to law enforcement officers. A civilian would have to feel as though they were in imminent danger to secret a pistol in their vehicle, though judging from the small size of the weapon it was a hesitant act. 

‘The blonde really must have had a dangerously jealous ex,’ Natalia thought as she pocketed the firearm and chose a place to dump the car. She parallel parked in front of a gym and quickly checked her appearance in the mirror. She looked suitably nondescript in all black, but her smeared make-up would make her stand out in Brazil. She checked the contents of the bright pink gym bag again and found some make-up wipes and the blonde woman’s make-up bag. She fixed her face in fifteen seconds and quickly wiped down the surfaces of the car’s interior that she’d touched and possibly left prints on. She only had make-up wipes and that wouldn’t help much with DNA but she had to do what she could. Natalia glanced around to check that she hadn’t been tracked before she exited the car, tossing the just wiped keys underneath the wheel and headed off towards her intended destination.

It was a seven block walk away from the coast and she had entered into the greener surrounds of suburbia before she started to hasten her step as she approached the doctor’s office. Natalia began to alter her breathing into a panicked pattern and tears started to form in her eyes. By the time she had reached the receptionist’s desk of Dr Araujo’s consulting rooms in Jardim Botânico, her cheeks were wet with running mascara. Taking one look at the woman in front of her, the elderly receptionist sprang up from her seat to support the distressed redhead.

“Goodness, what happened child?” the brunette with grey streaked hair asked in a no nonsense tone that showed her years of experience. The receptionist had a hunch but it was her duty to ask questions.

“I felt pain,” Natalia lied smoothly. “And I needed to check. This was the closest doctor’s office.”

“You did a good thing coming, dear. You can never be too sure. Let’s get you in an examination room,” Mrs Bruno, as her gold name tag described, said as she helped Natalia into a room down the corridor. She left Natalia on a bed while she quickly went to call the doctor who was busy with another patient.

A few minutes later and the middle aged, tanned Dr Araujo came in along with a Nurse Dos Santos- a sturdy woman with black hair held back in a tight bun. They both wore friendly expressions intended to calm Natalia down.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Araujo and this is Nurse Julia,” the doctor greeted as he sat down next to Natalia’s bed.

“Hello Doctor. My name is Natalia Compos Sodre. Thank you for seeing me on such short notice,” Natalia said breathily as if she were trying to hold back tears.

“Don’t worry my dear- you’re in good hands now. Mrs Bruno told us that you felt some pain. Now can you tell me exactly what happened?”

“I was at the gym and fell off the treadmill. I was just jogging but I tripped on my shoelace. My doctor said it was still okay to work out as usual so I did. I thought I was okay but then when I started to walk home I felt pain and was going to call my own doctor but then I saw your office sign so I came straight here,” Natalia fed him the story she had made up on the way there.

The doctor asked more questions about her pain and Natalia lied that it had been a constricting sort of pain. In actuality, she felt nothing but the bruises she had gotten earlier, but she needed to make sure. The doctor left for a moment so she could change. She declined the nurse’s help and was left alone to disrobe. Natalia took off the gym clothes, quickly putting on the spare sports bra and t-shirt she had found in the gym bag during her earlier rummaging. Settling back onto the bed she called plaintively for the nurse, who helped set her up for her examination.

“Those are some nasty bruises,” The doctor commented when he walked back in. “I’m glad you came in. It must have been quite a fall.”

“Yes, it’s more important to take care of your health that your image, dear,” Nurse Julia Dos Santos scolded mildly as she helped the doctor. Natalia bit her tongue and nodded along, trying to keep up her façade of vulnerability. She was really lucky that she hadn’t gotten any flesh wounds. Natalia shivered as she felt the cool substance the doctor put on her skin after his initial examination and questions.

“There you are,” the doctor smiled at her. “Everything looks good and sounds good, Natalia. I’m still going to do a pelvic exam to make sure.”

Natalia nodded absently, but her attention was focused on the small bean shape floating around on a black and white screen and the whoosh of a very fast heartbeat. She closed her eyes, and stifled a tremor that threatened to run through her body. This time a real tear made its way down her cheek.


	2. Why are Mondays so long? Why do they blend into t***-up kinda Tuesdays?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention in the first chapter’s note that I am attempting to blend the comics and the movies. I know I won’t be able to include everything because, let’s face it, Marvel Canon changes ALL THE TIME, case in point being the whole Cap HYDRA situation. But I picked a few important points that helped me create this AU and my understanding of what the characters are and could be. Hopefully it all makes sense. 
> 
> This chapter contains some mention of trigger-ish events about female reproductive rights and the horrible things that happened in the Red Room, but nothing is described in graphic detail. You’ve been duly warned.
> 
> Oh, and smut. Lemonade that will hopefully make sense as the chapters roll out.
> 
> [Edited on 08-09-2016 for logic reasons which were bothering me and I realised I had to clarify things for my own peace of mind]

 

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

 

Chapter Two

 

Why are Mondays so long? Why do they blend into tits-up kinda Tuesdays?

 

 

“Is there anyone we can call?” Nurse Dos Santos asked Natalia as she cleaned up after the doctor. “Your baby’s father?”

 

“He’s out of town on business,” Natalia answered. “But I can get a relative to pick me up.”

 

“I’d advise you to follow the Doctor’s suggestion and stay here for a few hours so we can monitor you. We have all the facilities to do so Mrs Compos Sodre.”

 

“I think I’ll do that,” Natalia answered. “It’ll take my relative a while to get here. She has to finish work. Could I use your phone? I think I dropped mine in my panic somewhere on the street. Probably long gone by now.”

 

“Yes, sure,” Nurse Dos Santos assured her. “There is a phone in the room you’ll be using. Just dial double zero and you’ll have an outside line. Let me get you some forms to finish filling in now that the panic is over.”

 

Natalia quickly filled in the forms she was given and made her call to an old contact once she was in the private room she was assigned. The credit card and medical aid details she gave were attached to the alias she gave, something that she had prepared long ago according to her training. In the quiet room she finally had time to reflect on how her day had quickly gone to shit.

 

Nicholas Fury chose to remain a ghost in spite of resurrecting S.H.I.E.L.D. because he honestly loved popping out of the shadows when no one expected him. Surprise always gave one an advantage. And ‘ghosts’ lived in their own realm. They lived separate from ‘the living’ and billing that cited thirty thousand dollars for a stapler could not be the cover means to fund 'ghosts'. So, even though he was dead to the world, Nick Fury still had to maintain a personal underground web of eyes and ears creatively. Remaining connected was not a charity funded activity and favours could be currency. Consequently _Natasha_ found herself ‘loaned out’ every now and then.

 

These favours that were as good as currency required the hard, aloof shell of her outward persona ‘Natasha Romanoff’ to execute. Not that Natalia Romanova could not do all that was required. It was just that Natalia Romanova was just too much: too clever, too skilled, too ruthless, and too efficient and yet too human at the same time. Natasha Romanoff was still a relatively new skin and very few people had any idea of what she was truly capable of as she used that mask. Natasha Romanoff was an almost playful enigma; she was still somewhat fathomable to the layman’s mind.

 

The night before, Natasha was meant to seduce a pharmaceuticals CEO in order to plant a few bugs in his house. She’d gotten his attention at a restaurant he and his cronies were having dinner at, got herself invited over, fawned at his bad jokes and was guaranteed a ride home with him. Then one of his moronic friends had to grope her ass and she was so not in the mood for that crap having just thrown up all of her dinner due to morning sickness that was not morning sickness but every-other-moment-of-the-day-sickness.

_Natalia_ was ticked off. She broke his hand. That was a dead giveaway that she was not just a bimbo in a tight dress with a very high slit.

 

Natalia fought her way out, and ditched her blonde wig and brown contact lenses; but just as she thought she had gotten away and was trying to blend into the crowd of Sunday night amblers outside the avenue of restaurants in Le Blon, she felt a sharp yet familiar sensation in her neck. Instantly she reached up to remove the dart that had hit her and found that it was just one of those pink and yellow suction arrows kids played with. Except that there was a needle sticking out of the centre of the suction cup. She barely took in the sight of the little boy with what looked like a toy gun aimed at her before she passed out falling into what felt like a large man’s arms. She was going to have to work very hard to scrub the memory of that embarrassment from her mind.

 

Twenty hours later and she was in an obstetrician’s offices trying to clear her mind. She knew that Fury and his client would be concerned that she hadn’t checked in. If he did not receive any indication on her status then he was likely to coerce Stark into looking for her, and if Fury didn’t then Rogers would be sure to bug Stark to do so. He tended to get antsy when she did not check in as regularly as she could without clearing it with him that she would be radio silent beforehand. Combined with Stark, they could get their entire acquaintance completely riled up and anxious over her location for a minor mishap. The only person she could trust to treat this with the appropriate level of concern, which would be the minimum, was Barton, and he was retired.

 

With those thoughts in mind, she knew it would be best if she checked in, but Natasha was not ready to explain why she was doing so from an obstetrician’s office. She figured Fury already knew her circumstances since he tended to know everything, but aside from her doctor at the Avengers’ Facility Base no one else in New York did. If any of the guys knew about this then the questions would not stop until answers were given. Natalia had a feeling that would be equivalent to a dirty bomb going off in their circle.

 

Natalia sighed deeply and closed her eyes as she lay on the surprisingly comfortable medical bed. She was determined not to think of anything. That was not going to happen. She focused on imagining the word ‘nothing’ but images, memories and worries drifted into the path of her mind’s eye and soon she was thinking of the crap that led to this disaster. She thought the possibility was impossible. Yet, here she was seven weeks pregnant with a healthy baby… bean.

 

Well, almost seven weeks. The bean would probably be seven weeks old tomorrow. It was most likely made on a certain Tuesday, and what a fucked up Tuesday it was.

_The Black Widow had been loaned out to infiltrate a chemical plant where narcotics that had been linked to human trafficking into prostitution were known to be manufactured and blow it up. The place had minimal staff and was mostly run by computer. It also had robots that looked like they came out of the Terminator movies, which is why she was grateful at the time for having Captain America as back up. Steve Rogers was always extremely helpful when you let him in on your secrets- one barely had to ask and he was all suited up._

_Naturally, things went to shit just as they were leaving and Romanoff and Rogers found themselves running away from shiny steel humanoid machines. She could not understand why humans were so determined to give their power away to AI and then help them along by giving them bodies that were stronger and a lot harder than human flesh and bone. This had been going on for almost a century now and still everybody ignored the disasters and mishaps citing 3 laws crap._

_The two Avengers (in their non-descript stealth uniformed capacity) had to cut through a production space after leaving three machines behind a door welded shut by some handy ‘venom’ Natasha carried in her high heels. But that would have been too uneventful. They had made their way to the halfway mark of the steel gridded gangway when another robot popped up through a newly hacked hole in a side door like he was going to yell ‘here’s Johnny’ and shot the bridge. The structure gave way and the pair fell straight into a vat of neon yellow liquid. Thankfully it was tepid._

_Natasha gasped for air as she broke the surface, already reaching for her belt and preparing to launch the grapple hook attached to it before she had blinked her eyes clear. She quickly found a suitable bar of metal and took aim just as she heard the spluttering cough of Rogers next to her._

_“I swallowed a shitload!” He exclaimed as he tried to spit. “It tastes like lemonade.”_

_“I doubt that it’s anywhere near as innocent as that,” Natasha replied as she checked how secure her line was attached to her chosen bar. “And what happened to not swearing in uniform?”_

_“There are robots trying to drown us in huge vats of what looks like nuclear piss. I think I’m allowed to cuss in this context,” Rogers shot back as he treaded closer to Romanoff. She held out her arm indicating that she was ready and he wrapped his arms around her securely._

_“They could have shot us. I think they actually do have functional three laws programming,” Natasha said contemplatively. “But let’s not take any chances.” She pressed a small button on her belt and released the winch to pull them both out of the chemical soup they had been swimming in._

_Landing with a thud on the nearest catwalk, the Captain released his hold on the Widow and threw his blacked out shield straight at the robot who had been trying to widen its entry point through the steel door. The shield did a much more efficient job than the machine, while taking care of the machine. Rogers and Romanoff were able to clamber through the sizeable hole and make their way out without further incident- except, of course, for blowing up the facility as they had originally intended._

_“Steve?” Natasha purred as they raced along the highway on the Kawasaki Ninja she’d recently picked up._

_“Yeah?” Rogers answered huskily, his body wrapped closer than it needed to be to ride bitch on the back of her bike._

_“I think the nuclear piss we fell in was the aphrodisiac drug those creeps were making,” Natasha supposed. The vibrations from the superbike were doing sinfully wonderful things to her._

_“Glad I wasn’t the only one thinking that,” Steve said, his voice strained. He scooted a tiny bit closer, and Natasha had to admire the self-control he had. If it wasn’t for the blazing heat she felt coming off his crotch she wouldn’t have known he was affected._

_“We need to wash this stuff off. We’re going to have to stop over at the safe house bunker. There’s no way we’ll be able to make it all the way back to New York like this,” she called over her shoulder. She did not need to admit that she was so close to asking him to take over control of the bike so she could unzip her suit, strip down and fuck herself on him while they both enjoyed the tremors of a top rated superbike engine._

_Then it struck her. “Steve, you swallowed this stuff. How’re you holding up?”_

_“Don’t you mean ‘how am I holding it down’?” he replied. “Well, I’m praying that you don’t move your ass- unless of course you’d like it up your back door and out in the open.”_

_Natasha could feel the heat radiate outwards from her at those words. The gravelly texture of his voice made her want to do exactly what he warned against._

_“Hold on tighter, soldier,” Natasha instructed before she let the bike reach its full potential._

_It was only twelve minutes later when they reached their destination, but they had devolved into pure animalistic urge. Natasha found that she couldn’t quite remember how to string English words together and kept mixing them up with all the other Germanic languages. Steve had managed to shakily remain in control of himself right up to the door, but as Natasha furtively punched in the codes and submitted herself to biometric scanning she felt him slowly lean in closer until she could feel his breath against her neck._

_Then he licked her slowly over her nape right into her hairline. Natasha had to make use of her decades of discipline training in order not to keen out some high-pitched whimper. The door swung open in front of them and they stumbled in slamming it shut behind them, the auto-locks bolting into place. Natasha practically ran to the control console and quickly shut off the interior security feed while she still had the sense to do so. She contemplated sending Fury a message that they’d been delayed, but when she glanced up at Steve the thought was forgotten. The All-American true blue soldier looked positively feral as he watched her, his stance ready to pounce from across the room._

_“We should minimise our exposure: take these clothes off, wash up,” Natasha breathed. “Then maybe we can… help each other with whatever discomfort we may have.”_

_“Yeah, we’ll take off these clothes, get in the shower and fuck- a lot,” Steve responded in a low rumble, his Brooklyn accent coming back thick. The sound of his voice affected her in just the same way the bike’s vibrations had. For a brief moment Natasha wondered whether they’d have gotten this intimate this fast if she and Steve hadn’t become, well, closer in the last few months. Would they have just driven themselves insane with the painful pangs of lust that were already topping the high levels they both knew they had for each other? Natasha had never been so glad she’d previously let a man get to fondling her breasts while they dry-humped in the woods before._

_Even so, Natasha nodded slowly as a voice in the back of her head asked if she knew what kind of stupid she was getting into. Because of who they were, because they’d been dancing around each other for so long- years really- that they had evolved to orbiting, this could only ever be a seriously big deal. Natasha checked out and Natalia smirked at him. Natalia told the lecturing voice to shut up and backed into the bathroom, letting Steve follow her, their visual connection unbroken._

_Natalia reached out to switch the shower on; her balance was slightly off as she wobbled back upright and straight into Steve’s arms. That first intentional contact felt like a strange new buzz, but that was secondary to the call she felt for his lips. Her gaze had just shifted to them when he crushed his mouth to hers in an embrace that was infinitely more erotic than the first kiss they’d shared on an escalator. It was more uninhibited than the handful of other instances where their mouths had met. Natalia moaned into their kiss and he grunted in reply. Soon their limbs were a tangle of cloying spandex, canvas, Kevlar and leather._

_Steve chuckled as they broke apart and Natalia griped in colourful Russian phrases as she yanked them both out of their suits. She glowered at him as his laughter continued until it was cut short by her hand pulling him into the shower stream with her, having chosen his cock as her handle._

_Steve surged forward towards Natalia and deftly caught her as she leapt into his arms and wrapped her limbs around him, her mouth hungry for his. They crashed with a groan into the white tiled shower wall, hands raking across slick planes and curves for purchase. Natalia sucked on Steve’s squirming tongue and his grip on her left butt cheek increased until she had to gasp in pleasured pain. His tongue soon found a new activity in trailing down her décolleté, around her right nipple and then back up her throat._

_“You taste like lemonade, but you taste like you too,” Steve whispered huskily into her ear._

_“You taste like lemonade and you too,” Natalia replied. “Make me come. Then we’ll make each other come washing the ‘lemonade’ off.”_

_Natalia barely had time to register the darkening glint in Steve’s glazed eyes before her mouth was contorted in an involuntary gasping ‘o’ as he filled her. Her limbs flailed in some futile attempt to climb upwards. Regaining her breath she grunted into his ear: “Fuck me deeper, Rogers- I want it all!”_

_The pair snarled in raw pleasure as Steve thrust up, impaling her on his thick cock. Natalia writhed in his arms, enjoying the intense pressure of fullness within her before she regained control of her lolling head and focused her eyes on Steve’s bright blue gaze._

_She clawed her arms over his shoulders so that she could hold herself flush to his torso and lean her forehead against his temple. Their lips touched and breaths intermingled. They were perfectly poised to lick, nip, suck and worry each other’s mouths into ecstasy, which they did. Natalia felt Steve’s left forearm brace against the wall behind her and then they began in earnest._

_Quite honestly, Natalia did not know she could produce those sounds: they were sharp and desperate calls that punctuated every heavy thrust into her and they melded into one wail increasing in pitch when Steve readjusted her hips to drag over her g-spot. When she came it was like she was stuck in spasm and she found herself slipping, which wasn’t the best thing because Steve happened to follow her in orgasm and they almost took a tumble. They broke the shower caddy and probably got a few bruises but they couldn’t have cared less. Their attention was focused on jerking each other off as they soaped the chemicals still on their skin away._

_Once rinsed, they staggered into the bedroom to collapse on the bed. Steve pulled himself away from her to lower again over her thigh. He licked broadly up over her hip and belly into her navel, up her ribcage and the soft juicy roundness of her left breast to capture her puckered nipple between his teeth, gently tugging it upwards as he sucked. Natalia moaned as her fingers tangled in his water darkened blond locks. She yelped as he nipped a little harder before letting her nipple plop from his lips. He grinned at her for a second before he burrowed his head into her bosom and moaned appreciatively._

_“You have no idea how fucking badly I’ve wanted to do exactly this or for how long,” Steve mumbled into her skin. His hand travelled up her sides and around his head to squeeze her pert flesh, settling into a steady massage as his lips dragged downwards to her belly and lower to kiss and suck her bare mound._

_Natalia parted her legs for him readily, placing her feet on his shoulders as he licked her languorously. His attentions became more ardent and Natalia could say she was most definitely being eaten out. She felt herself near fainting in the aftermath of her next orgasm. She could only credit the new position she was manipulated into as being what banished the black and green spots from her vision._

_Steve yanked her down the bed, his hands on the back of her knees before he flipped her over so that her butt was in the air and her cheek against the mattress. Natalia gasped finding herself short of breath as she felt Steve curl over her._

_“Can I take you like this, Nat?” he asked softly. Natalia murmured her approval as she tried to kiss his cheek. She felt exposed, but she loved it. And she knew she was going to love how deep Steve was going to be inside of her. She felt the plum smooth skin of his tip nudge against her folds and arched her back even more to entice him with the sight before him._

_In a steady slide, Steve seated himself deep within Natalia. He paused for a moment, enjoying her heat before he began to oscillate his hips. Natalia sighed in pleasure as Steve let out a similar exhale. The gentle sensuality of the movement was a welcome change from the roughness expected._

_Steve kissed wetly up Natalia’s spine, his hands caressing the curves of her hips, thighs and butt in rhythmic strokes before he made his way to her breasts again. His fingers danced over the sensitive lush demi-orbs and his touch grew bolder. He palmed and then pinched. His left hand slipped from her front around her ribcage and up her back into her hair where his wrist twisted around the strands until he had gathered enough to grab a ponytail. He yanked her back making her gasp, not in pain but surprise._

_Natalia needed thrust and began to bounce herself on him as he maintained the swivel he had going. Her fingers reached up into his hair and, establishing a grip pulled him down to kiss her neck. She reached down with her left hand to strum and pluck at her clit, murmuring in Russian, her voice quietly reverent. Steve paused his ministrations to her neck and snickered as he watched her. Natalia frowned as she turned to him, and seeing the curl of his lips, offered the press of hers which he gladly accepted. The kiss was sweet yet invigorating. It provided enough delirious fuel for a boost in their carnality._

_Natalia grinned drunkenly as she broke their embrace and fell forwards onto the mattress. She glanced back at him and drew in her right knee to pass her foot over her left knee. Then she lowered her bosom to the sheets and settled her forehead against the brace she formed with her entwined hands. Her legs were crossed high up, squeezing her channel tight enough to make Steve squint as he growled. She laughed lustily and thrust her hips against his. He got the message and as soon as he was able to gather his wits, he began to pummel into her tightness._

_Natalia mewled in pleasure as she worked to meet Steve’s hips. She was astonished though when he bent over her and wrapped his arms under her bent knees and pulled her up against his torso to jackhammer up against the spongy g-spot he’d already hit that night. Natalia screamed in unadulterated bliss, feeling her loins become drenched in more than her usual unguent. It was the first time in a long time that she’d ejaculated with another person involved._

_But the hazy cloud of wonder was not to be lounged upon. Her partner had desires he wanted to share with her and she was only too deliriously eager to comply._

 

 

Natalia sat up in the medical bed she had been assigned and looked out of the window onto the evening scenery. It was the beginning of fall in Brazil, which meant that the sun was still setting a little late and people were enjoying themselves in the cool of the waning day. Children played in the park across the street and locals walked their dogs. A Labrador was running away from an exasperated man who kind of reminded her of Bruce. Lucky for the dog it wasn’t Bruce because its wilful behaviour might have turned him green. The miasma of darkness that resided in her chest flared for a moment at the thought of the unassuming scientist before she crushed control around it.

 

Across the street, the boisterous black dog was jumping into everyone else’s games, but at least the kids seemed to like it. Natalia stared at the small humans knowing she should make some decisions but her brain seemed to be stuck on frozen like an overloaded computer.

 

_When Dr Moawad, the Avengers’ Facility Base doctor, had informed her of the results of her blood work she blinked at her confusedly for a few seconds before she lay back down on the bed and asked when they were going to get started. After a puzzling exchange, Moawad figured out that Natasha had asked when they were going to abort the foetus. She then deduced that the former agent should have been examined for a concussion after the mission she had just come in from, but as usual the Black Widow had walked it off. The doctor repeated herself and let the information sink in for a moment before she asked if she was sure about the course of action Natasha had suggested. Natasha turned her head to the bronze skinned woman and scrutinised her. She sat up and continued to glare at Maya Moawad._

_Then it dawned on her that Moawad was giving her a choice. Her prior reaction was a mental autopilot glitch and she had not thought at all about what she was actually being asked._

_It was the first time that Natalia had been given a choice about that aspect of her being. The first time she had gotten pregnant was when she was fifteen and it was the result of a training exercise. The foetus was immediately aborted once it was detected. The next time was when she was seventeen and on a test mission. After that she swore she wouldn’t let herself fail like that. Succumbing to biology was weak. And when she was told that she would possibly become infertile from the injection of serum her handlers were offering her, she knew she had to meet the challenge to succeed and that was all that mattered. She’d have a hold over one weakness forever at least and so she took the step to become stronger. It was a cruel thing to ask a seventeen year old._

_And then out of the blue, she had something she never allowed herself to contemplate asking for to share with someone she never expected anything like that from. The worst part was even though her logic told her what path she should follow instantly, she felt tripped up by this opportunity for choice. The little bean would make her vulnerable or at least appear vulnerable and make her and it a target. If anyone found out about the paternity of the bean, then it would exacerbate the situation to ridiculous levels and she couldn’t imagine finding sanctuary anywhere. Everyone would want the bean. They’d probably even want to see if they could make more beans and subject them to modern genetic experimentation._

_Yet, Natalia couldn’t make a decision about the bean- not yet anyway. She spent a week in mental limbo, carrying on as normal, just allowing herself to absorb the information._

 

Natalia was startled out of her musings by a soft knock on the door. Nurse Dos Santos popped in and informed her that her ‘mother’ had arrived to pick her up. Natalia smiled at the woman who had helped her and gathered her things, half dreading the reunion that was about to take place.

 

A beautiful woman with red hair highlighted with a streak of white waited for her with a concerned smile in the lobby. She opened her arms and Natalia walked into them accepting the hug that she offered in front of their audience.

 

A kiss on the cheek later and the woman quietly murmured into her ear with a posh British accent: “What the fuck is going on, kitten?”

 

Natalia pulled away to smile at the blue eyed woman. She greeted in Portuguese: “Hi Mama.”

 

“My darling, what happened? How are you?” the redheaded older woman crooned in Portuguese as she rubbed Natalia’s back.

 

“I’m alright now, Mama. I was in good hands,” Natalia told her before she turned around to thank the medical team. They reminded her to take care and contact them if she needed anything, giving her a business card to hold onto.

 

“Okay, you are exceedingly lucky that I happen to be a ginger at the moment,” Victoria Winslow said in English as she helped Natalia into the dark green Jaguar she had parked outside.

 

“Yeah, yeah, Victoria. Though, we look enough alike that it wouldn’t have mattered if you were your usual blonde,” Natalia said as she pulled on her seatbelt. She waited for Victoria to enter on the driver’s side before they could continue the conversation.

 

“Now tell me what’s up. I was busy dissolving the body of some pharmaceuticals CEO prick when I got your call-”

 

“Julian Del Castillo?” Natalia interrupted.

 

“Yes, Nicholas asked me ever so nicely,” Victoria explained, “and I can’t say ‘no’ when he actually says ‘please’.”

 

“Del Castillo was my target. I got drugged by his men. Well, actually a kid. If you tell anyone that I will kill you.”

 

“I was once drugged by a cat so I’m not going to pass any judgement,” Victoria replied as she cautiously pulled out of the parallel parking spot.

 

“A cat?! How? Never mind. Anyway they drugged me and I woke up in a cell that was rather conveniently located in an office building in Ipanema,” Natalia explained.

 

“What? Are you alright, love? Do you want to go back and bomb it?” Victoria asked earnestly.

 

“Nope. Maybe. I’d rather eat something first. Anyway, I managed to escape and ran into these two women who gave me the keys to one of their cars. They were two moms pushing strollers and I was this crazy naked lady running towards them with a gun but they bought my story of a jealous ex-boyfriend trying to kill me.”

 

“That must be what the roadblock around that part of town is about. Luckily we’re going in the other direction.”

 

“So I dumped her car and took her gym bag and came straight to the doctor’s office,” Natalia ended off resolutely.

 

“And is everything alright?” Victoria asked carefully, watching the younger-looking woman from the corner of her eye.

 

“Yes,” Natalia answered. “The complaint of pain was a cover. They hadn’t hurt me other than what I’d inflicted on myself to fight them, but I just wanted to make sure everything was still… viable.”

 

Victoria made an affirmative noise as she nodded and they sat in silence for a few minutes while they drove towards the greener hills of the affluent suburbs.

 

“Natalia,” Victoria asked gently, “am I to understand that I am going to become a pseudo-grandmother in a few months?”

 

“Technically, I’m still older than you, but… I don’t know,” Natalia answered truthfully. “I’m kinda experiencing major brain-freeze here.”

 

“Huh,” Victoria uttered. “Old, practical habits confusing you?”

 

“I guess you could say that. I actually have a choice about it for once,” Natalia sighed. “I didn’t think it would ever be an option for me. I’m still trying to figure out how it happened.”

 

“Well whatever you decide I’ll be here for you if you need me. You can come and stay at Eagle’s Nest if you want. Come for Michaelmas. It’ll be lovely,” Victoria offered.

 

“I’ll think about it. There’s a lot of crap going down at the moment, I’m training up new Avengers and even Fury’s reached his full-power nag-mode and got us bouncing around all over the world.”

 

“He can spare you for Michaelmas. He can come over for Michaelmas if he really wants, but if we’re in the same space for too long, I fear I might just shoot him in the foot,” Victoria said nonchalantly.

 

Natalia snorted at the image she had conjured up in her mind of the scene. “I wish I could do that sometimes- a lot of the times. But people would just get whiney.”

 

“That’s it, come for Michaelmas. I’m planning on making quite a spread. You can even bring a guest if you want,” Victoria declared with a determined smile. “Bring the beau who got you into this mess. I want to grill him.”

 

“It’s not even the middle of the year- how are you planning for Michaelmas? Never mind, this is you we’re talking about. And, you forget that I’m Russian, and raised _soviet_. Also, I haven’t told him yet, Victoria,” Natalia groaned.

 

“Oh!” Victoria gasped. “Was it a moment of passion?”

 

“Chemically induced passion,” Natalia admitted. “We fell into a vat of aphrodisiac fluid.”

 

“Oh dear. Was he at least handsome?” Natalia couldn’t hide the smirk the question induced. Victoria noted it and carried on in that vein. “He was, wasn’t he? I see that look on your face. Was he one of those strapping young chaps you run around with? Please don’t tell me it was that smarmy git with the goatee.”

 

“No! It was not him,” Natalia protested, feeling slightly sick at the thought of sex with Tony Stark.

 

“The one who turns green?”

 

“Nope,” Natalia answered with a dark edge to her tone. Victoria noted that reaction and filed it away for later examination.

 

“It’s obviously not Clinton… the blond alien perhaps?”

 

“He has a fiancée that I sort of like. No, not him.”

 

“CAPTAIN AMERICA!” Victoria practically screeched making Natalia jump in her seat. She stared at the younger-looking woman as an uncharacteristic blush suffused in her features. “If you did not thoroughly corrupt him my dear then I have taught you nothing.”

 

“He was already corrupted of his own accord- deliciously so,” Natalia responded casually.

 

“I knew it,” Victoria stated, returning her attention to the road. “The sweet gentlemanly ones are always animals in bed. Oh, I shouldn’t be saying this, but your little one will be criminally cute if you have her.”

 

“Her?” Natalia laughed. “Right now it’s just a ‘bean’.”

 

“‘Bean’? I can live with that,” Victoria declared about the nickname before she changed her train of thought. “Now why haven’t you told Captain Scrumptious?”

 

“Er…”

 

“Too much pressure?”

 

“I don’t know. I’m not going to say that it doesn’t feel real because it does. It’s just that… the situation feels too volatile.”

 

“Volatile you say? How so?” Victoria asked as they turned into a quieter road.

 

“Well, he’s probably going to ask me to marry him straight away, which is ridiculous. Just because I’m pregnant does not mean we have to get married.”

 

“True,” Victoria agreed. “I understand his viewpoint coming from a generation which still did that, but I’ve also seen so many unhappy couples from that generation who suffered because that’s exactly how they started out. They spent their lives resenting each other and that’s no way to live.”

 

“And then of course he’ll be there everywhere all the time asking me if I’m okay and thinking he has to protect me,” Natalia continued with a sigh.

 

“Now that’s what I don’t get about the younger generations. Why is it that they get so defensive about a man wanting to protect them? Why on Earth did you decide to assimilate the rom-com values of a middle schooler? That’s one aspect of your very long life’s understanding that I’d thought you’d retain. I mean, if he’s worth your time then he obviously understands that you’re more than capable and yet he still cares enough to be concerned. And there’s nothing wrong with having extra back up, especially if extra back up buys you roses and remembers what kind of tea you like when you need to cheer up,” Victoria scolded mildly.

 

“Steve is not back up. Well he is back up but not… he’s dangerous,” Natalia ended weakly and then added in a whisper: “… for me. I’ve already succumbed too much- and I like it. We’ve been growing closer for a while now. And it works, like I knew it would. It’s serious, like I knew it would be. It’s going too fast, but I know we’ve been going slower than a donkey cart. This part, this Bean, is too fast. Compared to something normal, we’re too fast.”

 

“I see,” Victoria replied sagely. She took a deep breath as she stopped the car and waited for a gate to open before a driveway. As soon as the way was clear she drove up the tree-lined cobbled driveway. Victoria switched over to Russian: “The thing is Natalia, despite all our training it comes down to this: You have to live for yourself. Everywhere they drum it into humanity that we have to adhere to duty- put others before ourselves. Then they tell us that anything we love can be taken away to hurt us so we must be brave and suck it up. Well, all that achieves is automatons that will crack at some point and turn on the people who tell them they are undeserving of life’s rights. You and I are in a shit business. We love the adrenalin and the power that we derive from it, but nevertheless it is a shit business and you my dear kitten have had it worse than most in our field. I advise that you say ‘fuck it’ and live your damn life. Beautiful things can happen for you whether you’re ready to believe in them or not. And if it doesn’t work out then you are gutsy enough to pull through. It’s an undeniable fact.”

 

Victoria’s lecture was just what Natalia needed at that moment. She said exactly all the things that Natalia was thinking, even though her mouth was spouting a whole load of nonsense excuses. Because even though falling in love with Steve was ‘dangerous’ in that she had something to lose, Natalia knew that the scariest thing was that there was nothing to be afraid of: She knew anything that happened between her and Steve would work no matter what they decided it would be. They just functioned like that.

 

“Now enough of my ranting,” Victoria said, returning to English. “It’s decided: You are coming to Eagle’s Nest for Michaelmas and you’re bringing Steven. He’s old-school catholic so he observes it. You like him and any heterosexual man who doesn’t like you is an idiot. Unless, of course, they’re enamoured of me instead. Now let’s get some supper for you and Bean!” With that she hopped gracefully out of the car and ushered Natalia in like mother hen.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And introducing Victoria Winslow, from ‘Red’- a DC Universe character. I didn’t tag her because I wanted her to be a surprise.
> 
> Please don’t yell about Steve’s sudden OOC-ness. It will make sense, I promise. Also, remember that he is a man, not a saint. 
> 
> By the way, the response I’ve had so far has been so encouraging. You lot brought a rainbow into my life.


	3. Wednesday of Woe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually half rewrote this chapter, and then I felt like the overhaul was taking away too much and leading the story in a totally different direction so I just put it back the way it was. Yep, that’s editing done my style.

 

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Three

 

Wednesday of Woe

 

“ _Natalie_ , you’re back,” Tony greeted from the kitchen island of the Avengers Tower communal area.

 

“Obviously,” Natasha replied, carrying a wicker hamper with her into the kitchen.

 

“You’re just in time to witness a miracle: Thor and Capsicle actually not sucking at X-box,” Tony continued.

 

“You’re just jealous because they kicked your ass,” Pepper interjected as she slapped Tony on the shoulder playfully.

 

“Hello boys,” Natasha drawled as she took in the scene. Tony was tossing salted cashews and catching them in his mouth while Pepper scrolled through a webpage on her tablet next to him. Sam was eating a sandwich and leaning against the fridge. Clint lounged on the sofa next to Steve and Thor who were engrossed in what looked like the Mortal Kombat X game. Steve’s avatar, which was an ironic choice as he had selected Sub-Zero, was having his ass handed to him by the scantily clad Asian girl that Thor had selected. Perhaps that was because Steve was no longer watching the screen but had turned his head to her.

 

“Greetings Lady Natasha,” Thor boomed in his characteristic not-meant-for-indoors voice. “Ha! I win this round Steve.” A chorus of “Hey Nat”s followed the Asgardian’s salutation.

 

“As I was saying, you have arrived just in time to witness the miracle that is two blonds who are not from this century battle it out through Mortal Kombat,” Tony described as he floated around to her side and tried to open up the hamper she had just placed on the counter. Her glare stopped him.

 

“The scale of the battle matters not. It is a test of one’s physical finesse to wage war whatever the parameters or battleground,” Thor answered, his eyes still glued to the screen.

 

“Video games are a great way to practice fine hand movement,” Sam interjected. “Great for bomb disassembly.”

 

“And pleasing women,” Thor chuckled heartily.

 

Tony quickly jibed: “Though there’s nothing like the real thing, Cap. For starters, women are made of flesh and-”

 

Natasha saw the minute ticking of Steve’s jaw and interrupted Tony’s taunt.

 

“Let up Stark. Rogers ain’t blushing and that running joke is just tired and misinformed. He’s Captain America- a whole nation of women’s wet dream for a generation. Just because he’s not posting it on Instagram doesn’t make him a monk. People fucked in the forties; people fucked in the Victorian era; people fucked in the dark ages and people fucked in Biblical times. Get over it,” Natasha remarked icily through gritted teeth. She was careful not to look over at Steve, though she appreciated the rest of the guys’ teasing noises aimed at Tony for getting burned.

 

“Okay, who spat in your vodka?” Tony asked slowly. Natasha widened her eyes in fury at him.

 

“How was Brazil?” Clint asked casually; keen to avoid the knife-in-thigh scenario that was about to happen to Tony if he didn’t shut his trap.

 

“The usual,” Natasha grumbled, rolling her shoulders.

 

“Uh-oh. I know that tone of voice,” Clint said turning his head away from the game. “What happened?”

 

“Got captured. Had to shoot my way out,” Natasha explained breezily.

 

“What? You were captured?” Steve exclaimed. Thor had the decency to pause the game.

 

“Mmm, yeah. It was stupid really. Landed up jumping through a window naked. Idiots didn’t even restrain me properly.”

 

“Are you okay?” Pepper asked, concern flooding her water-blue eyes.

 

“Of course. Just pissed that things went to shit in the first place. Got my own back though. Victoria took out my target and torched the place,” Natasha explained. “I stayed over at her holiday house.”

 

“The huge fire in Ipanema was Victoria?” Clint asked. “What did they do to get her that pissed? Never mind. The obvious answer is that they messed with you. She always did like you better.”

 

“I’ve known her longer,” Natasha smirked.

 

“Who is Victoria?” asked Tony with the usual monotonous yet slightly higher pitch he adopted when confronted with data he was not already privy to.

 

“British ex-agent. She’s like momma bear to a select few cubs,” Clint explained.

 

“She sent everyone cookies,” Natasha said, hauling the picnic basket she’d left on the side counter onto the kitchen island.

 

“I was wondering about that-whoa!” Tony exclaimed as Natasha opened up the Nantucket lightship basket with a red and white gingham lined interior to reveal a pair of Uzis attached to the lid. “I take it the old bird likes guns.”

 

“That would be an understatement,” Clint said.

 

“Variety pack for the Barton family- Victoria made sure she put in the strawberry heart ones that the kids love,” Natasha said as she handed out pastel coloured boxes tied up with white ribbon. She made her way around handing out boxes to the guys and Pepper, putting Jane and Darcy’s aside. She’d already checked in at the Avengers’ Facility Base and given Wanda and Rhodey theirs.

 

“Yours are not what they seem,” she said bluntly to Steve in an effort not to mumble. “Victoria thinks you’d like them.”

 

“Thanks,” Steve said with a slight furrow on his brow as he looked up at her. His were a little more personal than the others: round cookies iced to look like baseballs with red stitching, but inside the vanilla cookie was a hidden gooey Nutella chocolate and peanut butter centre- with caramel chips.

 

“Why do mine say ‘Git’ on them in Iron Man colours?” Tony queried. “Is this Curlz MT font?”

 

“Ah it’s me,” Thor laughed out loud as he examined a man-shaped sugar cookie iced to look like a cute version of him.

 

“Hey, mine too. Little dark angel Falcons,” Sam grinned as he flopped onto the sofa next to Thor. “Chocolate too.” The two of them proceeded to play fight with their cookie figures.

 

“Are these digestive biscuits?” Tony demanded.

 

“Whoopie pies! How did she know?” Pepper exclaimed as she took a bite. Tony glared at her and tried to steal one of hers but she just slapped his hand away.

 

“Anything happen while I was gone?” Natasha asked as she sat down on one end of the sofa, tucking one foot underneath her.

 

“Oh, you got some mail. It’s legally related,” Pepper said tightly, turning to fish around in her briefcase. Pepper had power of attorney to handle all legal matters for the Avengers. “Here.”

 

Pepper walked over and handed a yellow manila envelope to Natasha. After thanking Pepper in a mumble, Natasha examined the envelope. It had already been cleared by their rigorous safety checks. Pepper had already opened it, so Natasha pulled out the document inside easily.

 

Natasha swore vehemently in Russian, drawing the regard of her companions. Sensing their eyes on her, she explained: “I’m being sued by that shithead Peter Parker a.k.a. ‘Spiderman’. He says that the Black Widow is adversely affecting his public image and brand. Apparently people are suspicious of him now. Weren’t they always suspicious of him? What a douchebag!”

 

“Peter Parker is suing you?” Clint clarified slowly.

 

“He’s even saying stuff that basically amounts to xenophobia. He says that Americans don’t want to trust him because of the spider association with me and I’m Russian i.e. I’m America’s eternal enemy.”

 

“That’s really dumb,” Sam pointed out. “I mean you’ve saved this country countless times. You’ve saved the whole world.”

 

“What does that little prick do anyway? Take selfies with mad scientists. We leave him the local loonies because it’s just a messy waste of resources to go after them,” Pepper seethed. She’d obviously been stewing over it for a while. “What do you want me to do? I’m pretty sure we can get this settled behind closed doors. He doesn’t have a leg to stand on.”

 

“Fuck settling things behind closed doors. I’m going to go have a chat with the little dickhead. Teach him that real spiders have venom in their bite!” Natasha hissed acidly as she got up.

 

“Nat, you’ll just make it worse,” Clint called after her, but she was already pressing the button for the elevator.

 

“Nat, wait up,” Steve said from right next to her. He got in the lift with her, holding the blue pastry box she had given him earlier. “These are good by the way. Tell Miss Victoria I said that. Is Miss Victoria the ‘Vicky’ you’ve mentioned before?”

 

In truth, Natalia had made them, while Victoria did the finicky icing details when the redheaded Russian needed to lay down due to a bout of nausea; but Natasha was not about to tell him that.

 

“What do you want Rogers?”

 

“To make sure you don’t publicly castrate some kid with a large internet following,” Steve smiled. Natasha scowled at him. “Hey, don’t get worked up about it. Let me talk to the little shit, and if he listens then I can always just speak highly of you, which will negate anything he tries to slander you with.”

 

“Since when did you become a master of spin?” Natasha questioned as the doors opened on her level. She stepped out and he followed.

 

“I love how you selectively ignore the fact that I spent almost the whole of World War Two spreading morale-boosting propaganda. I know how to win public favour and how easily it can be redirected,” Steve told her. “Going in hot is what he’s expecting. He’ll probably rig it so that he has evidence of you looking like the bad guy.”

 

“I know that. I’m a frikkin’ spy, Rogers,” Natasha ground out, wondering if Steve had noticed that he was following her into her walk-in closet. “Have been my whole life. I can handle it.”

 

“But if you do it my way, then Spidey-boy will just have evidence of me vouching for your good character and calling him out on his sour behaviour,” Steve grinned his boyishly charming smile. “He has a video-blog and he’ll probably stream the whole thing live.”

 

“Besides, the little jerkwad should shit himself when he sees me. He won’t want his followers finding out what he did. Peter Parker is a peeping tom,” Steve sneered bitterly. It hadn’t even been a month yet since Natalia had realised that Spider-shit was suctioned to her window rubbing one out through his spandex while her back was turned as she got dressed after a shower post-mission. Steve had been in her lounge going over his gear and at her infuriated bellow, hurled his shield from the balcony at the retreating pervert and hit him in the ass. Spider-shit was lucky that he had his web emissions to save him.

 

Natasha sighed. “Fine. I see how this could work. What’s your plan?”

 

She pulled her top off and Steve casually spun around to take a leap onto her bed before he began detailing his plan.

 

Ten hours later and Natasha stared at the TV screen in horror. The headline blurb on the entertainment channel was ‘Secret romance between Avengers? Captain America caught in a silk web.’ A photo of Steve and Natasha kissing on an escalator in a mall flashed on screen. That was accompanied by the flowery speech Rogers had given Parker in his bid for the prick to drop his lawsuit. Steve had chosen to leave the kid a video message when he did not answer his calls… Then came the security footage of the two of them standing very close and looking touchy-feely in way too many stores. The clincher of the piece was the Apple store clerk from aeons ago who told the reporter that they had been affianced for _years_.

 

Next to her on her sofa, Natasha’s phone lit up with an incoming call. She knew who it would be before she even looked.

 

“Nat, I’m sor-” Steve’s voice started.

 

“Shut up Steven,” Natasha ordered, hanging up immediately. The phone flashed to life again, but Natasha quickly shut it off. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., I don’t want to take any calls from Rogers unless it’s a dire emergency. Also, don’t let him onto my level.”

 

“Understood, Natasha,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. answered impartially.

 

“You know what? Hold all calls unless the world needs saving, F.R.I.D.A.Y.,” Natasha growled.

 

“As you wish, Natasha,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. replied. “Do you wish for me to block texts and emails as well?”

 

“Yes,” Natasha confirmed. She hesitated before asking: “Is the internet blowing up with this?”

 

“Do you mean the rumoured romance between yourself and Steve Rogers?” F.R.I.D.A.Y. asked. Natasha nodded. The AI answered simply: “Yes.”

 

“There are several hundred fervent debates on the matter. The declarations that ‘ship’ you as a couple have risen to forty eight million nine hundred and sixty two in the last minute,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. calmly reported. “I have also detected one thousand and twenty nine vicious remarks that need to be monitored in case they result in harmful action.”

 

“Fuck, I hope Brazilian doctors don’t watch or read gossip,” Natasha murmured, “or are at least firm in their ethics!”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, my Spiderman was written before CACW. My Spiderman will make sense eventually. I think the new Spiderman is adorable, but I’m also still smarting from the previous reboot. I feel you should wait a while before you reboot a superhero (except Batman- but good Batmans are few and far between anyway).
> 
> ‘Why Mortal Kombat?’ you may ask. Video game playing Avengers are trope. Also, I just felt like giving a nod to my childhood. I did not play Mortal Kombat that often. I learned after getting a hunting game in my first set of video games that I should try to stay away from anything too stress inducing because I’m very competitive and also tend to overreact. I’m a smug winner and behave ridiculously to get there. So when my next door neighbour friend’s brother started to play Mortal Kombat, I opted to just play Barbies with her. Barbies that lived in trees and had adventures. Her brother was a bit territorial about the game though. But when I did play, I so won even though I sucked at remembering button sequences for moves. So, just nostalgia. 
> 
> [I seriously wonder if I’m being monitored by government security agencies with all the odd things I’ve been typing into Google Search about guns, city area maps and prominent buildings over the past while.]


	4. Why does Thor get his own day?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Nat’s words and actions may be alarming to the point where it may be construed as trigger-ish about the threat of sexual violence. No harm is meant. But you have been warned.
> 
> I hope the flashback transitions work (Argh, I was a bit zonked on the strongest cough syrup I’ve taken in years when I posted this).

 

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

Chapter Four

 

Why does Thor get his own day?

 

“Where’s Pepper?” Natasha growled as he stomped into Tony’s living room on Thursday afternoon. She wasn’t feeling her most attractive and had decided that the comfort of a grey tracksuit with crimson furry boot slippers would be the level of style she’d adhere to for the day.

 

“She’s getting dressed. We’ve got a charity-do to go to tonight,” Tony replied as he quickly glanced over her, a smirk on his face. He had a tux on. “Decided to go the ‘closed doors’ legal route? You really should listen to Pepper. She’s right ninety seven point six two percent of the time.”

 

“This is not my fault. This is all Rogers. If it was me, the kid would be missing his left nut,” Natasha snarled. “This circus just got Spidey-boy upgraded to full castration.”

 

Natasha was in no mood to parry the smart remarks she could see Tony was desperate to spout. She’d woken up to hurl that morning and when she was done with that, she saw that the sky was indeed as gloomy as her mood. It was raining cows and pigs, never mind cats and dogs. It sounded as if Thor was having a dance party in the stratosphere. She hated when the weather was like that.

 

After she had registered the atmospheric conditions, she curled back up into bed to read gossip articles on the net about her and Steve, which only added to her nausea. How the hell had so many fan art photos of them laughing and smiling been conjured up in less than twenty four hours? Someone had made a video collage and set it to that ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ soundtrack song ‘Love me like you do’, and by 9 AM it had over seven hundred thousand hits on YouTube.

 

She was always careful around cameras- she had been since before they were standard in security system setups. Still, they had enough footage for a whole edited music video. Really, where the fuck did they get that many shots of her in Steve’s arms looking as if he was picking her up and spinning her around? It was as cheesy as a nineties soap opera montage, except instead of promenades on beaches they happened to be in the midst of battling aliens, etc.

 

Natasha attempted breakfast but the Bean just wouldn’t accept anything she put in her mouth. Instead, it wanted borscht- made from scratch. Natasha was not going to make borscht from scratch. She tried to order some from a restaurant she liked, but they refused to do deliveries that day because of the weather. So she fought with the Bean and forced down a hamburger for lunch. But then the Bean wanted something sweet and the sweet thing it wanted had to be trubochki. The only place that had good trubochki was all the way out in Brooklyn!

 

“Shut up, Stark, before I cut you,” Natasha threatened before Tony could unleash whatever insult he’d stored for this occasion. She had to supress a small scream when she heard the elevator ding its arrival on that floor and recognised the footfall of the person who got out of it.

 

“Natasha,” Steve started off as he walked in looking keenly apologetic, and simultaneously stressed and relieved at having the opportunity to talk with her. Unfortunately, he had to be his usual level of handsome dressed in dark wash blue jeans and a very tight dark grey long-sleeved t-shirt.

 

Red hair flipped around in a flurry. Steve dodged and then looked back at Natasha to reveal a large mokume gane Japanese knife caught by the blade between his fingers. His expression was the definition of alarmed.

 

“Don’t talk to me,” Natasha barked.

 

“That knife is handmade,” Tony interjected. “I had to beg the seventy eight year old maker to come out of retirement to make that set for me.” He was rewarded with a matching honesuki kaku knife lodged in the kitchen cupboard behind him. “Okay, I’ll shut up. You don’t even have to tell me.”

 

“What did you do now, Tony?” Pepper called as she descended the stairs, taking the scene in. She was ready to go in a pale blue chiffon evening dress, silver heels and diamonds.

 

“Pepper, I’m just here to say that I want you to counter-sue the spandex off that Parker douche. You know what? Get him in trouble. I’m sure you can get him on invasion of privacy or something,” Natasha responded with surly bite. “Let him find out what they do to flexible boys in jail.”

 

Steve opened his mouth to say something but Tony cut him off: “Don’t even Cap. I advise you to stay completely still and refrain from shining bright lights at her. Wait for the impact tremors to settle.”

 

“Are you calling me a Tyrannosaurus Rex?!” Natasha roared at him, immediately picking up the ‘Jurassic Park’ reference. “I’m not a huge fat dinosaur!”

 

“I don’t think they were fat,” Tony couldn’t help but counter.

 

“Tony!” Pepper scolded.

 

Natasha shrieked out a strangled noise and threw her hands up in the air before she marched straight out. Steve glared at Tony who shrugged, before he quickly put the knife back in its holder and ran after Natasha.

 

He was too late to catch her before the elevator left, but he did catch up to her a minute later in her apartment.

 

“I brought a peace offering,” Steve said holding up a brown bag that had a few splotches of rain drops darkening its brown hue. The familiar red ink stamp label on the side almost had the simmering Natasha in tears. It could have been the hormones, but that was an easy out. Natalia had to acknowledge that the brown paper bag was the last piece of a reconstruction of a memory that left her overwhelmed.

 

It was almost eight months ago that she’d stood in a similar scene…

 

_On that Thursday, it had been raining cows and pigs too and the thunder and lightning was just as bad. It was like a lights show at a concert, only the air was charged with the menace that Nature commanded easily as she reminded mortals of her might. The weather had been that bad all week, having started on Sunday right through to that Thursday with little reprieve. Repeated lightning strikes condensed in the same area was most likely to mean that something unusual was afoot. Tony had even analysed satellite footage to make sure it really wasn’t aliens in another ‘War of the Worlds’ scenario. Natalia would almost have welcomed the activity if it had really been an attack. But it was just Nature, being an ironic reminder of events that very few people were alive to recall anymore._

_That Sunday had been the 23 rd of August 2015. Back in 1942, the 23rd of August was a Sunday too- Black Sunday, when the bombing started in Stalingrad and wouldn’t stop. The lightning and the noise reminded Natalia of sights and sounds that had previously been repressed by the Red Room. With the weather and the date, it was as if Natalia was reliving that horror as she watched the dark sky repeatedly torn apart by powerful flashes of lightning._

_“Hey,” Steve had greeted as he strolled in. Natasha acknowledged him with a nod of her head but kept her focus on the cityscape in front of her. She hadn’t seen the sun in days, and as a Russian, it should not have bothered her, but it did._

_She could hear Steve pottering about in her kitchen. Even though he had the floor above hers, it was as though they were roommates sometimes with the amount of time they spent living seamlessly in each other’s quarters. If one were to look in their refrigerators, one would definitely find an item or two that the other liked enough to call a staple._

_He came back with a glass bottle of pop from a local brand that Steve claimed tasted like a real old-fashioned American recipe. He’d actually exclaimed something to that effect when he’d tasted it in the store that he and Natasha had visited before going off to the old French new wave movie they were supposed to go see. The owner of the store had begged him numerous times ever since to endorse them, but that wasn’t Steve’s thing. They did get a photo to put up on their wall though, and Natasha’s back made it into the frame as she stood in front of the counter examining the menu while they took the shot._

_“You know it’s five o’clock somewhere,” Natasha commented._

_“But not here,” Steve replied unflappably as he took a seat on her sofa. They sat in peaceable silence for a while before Steve spoke up again._

_“I remember you,” he said in a quiet, careful voice,_ “Natalia.”

_Natalia turned her head slightly to examine him. Steve regarded her with an earnest expression. Not his ‘I’m paying attention to you’ stance but the unguarded posture he’d been using more often with her. Natalia twisted her body to the side and almost leaned on the glass of her ribbon windows, but the instinctual spark of wariness of Nature’s powerful elements that could not be stamped out no matter the conditioning had her taking a seat on the white FK 87 Grasshopper chair parallel to that glass wall._

_“Stalingrad: 1942. Me, Bucky and James Howlett went looking for you because your Ivan Petrovich asked,” Steve smiled gently as he glanced down at the pop bottle in his hands. “I could tell he really loved you as his own, Natalia. He was half mad worrying about what had become of you. He was so happy when we got you back. Your hair was so bright back then- a real fiery red. But your eyes are the same.”_

_“My nose is different- they tweaked it in the sixties,” Natalia stated. “My hair got a little darker after the Red Room serum.”_

_“I can call you ‘Natalia’? Do you think it’s weird that I was so sure you looked familiar when I met you again after I woke up from the ice?’_

_“Not weird, that’s not the word. Besides, your memory’s eidetic,” Natalia shrugged. Steve snorted in response. “And yes you can call me ‘Natalia’- we’re old friends after all.”_

_One thing Natalia could be glad of about the whole Ultron debacle was that it stirred up her psyche and reset her mind. Everything that the Red Room had wiped about her many years of life had resurfaced. It happened when the Soviet Union showed the first signs of dissolution. There were no electronic files to dump on the internet- the internet was still new-fangled tech limited to use among scientists- and paperwork could be burned easily. But a valuable piece of living weaponry that knew of countless assassinations, thefts and manipulations was a weak point. Her memory had been erased the same way they had cleared the mental history of the Winter Soldier. That’s how Natasha landed up thinking she’d been born in the eighties and not remembering that she’d been alive since the 1920s._

_“Bucky said you were going to be a looker when you grew up,” Steve laughed. “I reminded him that you were fourteen years old and he said that he had an eye for investment and suggested we come back to visit Russia in four years’ time.”_

_“You said that you were going to come see me dance in the Bolshoi,” Natalia smiled sadly as she remembered the short interaction they’d had when her adoptive father had enlisted their help along with that of James Howlett, who now went by Logan or Wolverine, to get her out of the indoctrinating clutches of the HAND ninja clan. They’d scouted her from her Red Room training, which wasn’t as bad back then, all things considered. She’d even really gone to a Bolshoi feeder school and trained as a ballerina for her cover. All the horror was allocated to after hours and they were brainwashed to separate the two aspects of their lives._

_But then the war came to Russia and everyone was sent away from Moscow when the fighting approached. Natalia landed up back under the care of her adoptive father Ivan in Stalingrad. Everything after Stalingrad 1942 was about pushing yourself beyond the most extreme unimaginable point for the sake of Mother Russia._

_“I did,” Steve agreed softly. Changing his tone to a more light-hearted reminiscence, he remarked: “Soviet women were badass back then…”_

_Natalia raised a brow archly at him._

_“Russian women are still badass,” Steve quickly added. In Russian._

_Natalia grinned slowly at him, stood and replied in her native tongue: “I’ll make us some tea.”_

_“I got some trubochki,” Steve informed her, continuing on in a very well-adjusted Moscow accent. Of course Steve spoke all the languages of the Allied Forces. “It’s in the kitchen. There’s this Russian bakery that’s still around near where I used to live in Brooklyn. I went to school with the girl who was the current owner’s grandmother. It’s still good and they make things like in the old country apparently.”_

_Natalia’s eyes widened for a moment before she headed off over to the open plan kitchen with an amused grin. She quickly gathered the supplies she would need for making tea in her samovar- a Tula-made antique she’d managed to get out of the country._

_“Spicy or fruity?” Natalia called as she wavered between ingredients._

_“Spicy,” Steve replied. Natalia smirked at his answer, having predicted it. She set out the samovar and began to break up a pinecone to ignite and fuel its fire. The samovar was covered in a beautifully patterned enamelling with a blue background and pink and red flowers scrolling over it._

_“Let’s make it atmospheric,” Natalia suggested in English after having lit a segment of pinecone and fed it into the stove of the samovar. She picked up the remote for the fireplace and clicked to light it. Natalia switched back to Russian. “Sometimes I miss a good wood-burning fire.”_

_She settled on the other end of the sofa and served up some trubochki for Steve before serving herself. Natalia licked a bit of cream off her ring finger, before sighing as she looked out onto the continuing storm. “All of this reminds me of the bombing, of how quickly and easily everything can be destroyed. Storms like this don’t happen often- it must be global warming.”_

_The tea brewed and Natalia poured it out for them, Steve’s soda pop long finished with. It was true that it was the little things that made you feel at home and not the place. The trubochki and tea from a samovar made her feel just like she was visiting Ivan on holiday from ‘School’; and the ease at being beside Steve…_

_“Thank you for being there for me,” Natalia murmured as she lifted her tea cup to her lips and curled up on the sofa. He had really been there for her since Sokovia. And he knew to just be there- he didn’t say anything: he listened if she spoke, shared the burden if she was silent and made her laugh when she least expected it._

_“Of course I’d be there for you Nat,” Steve said. “You’re the person who knows me best- my best friend. You’re also one of the four people still alive who’ve known me longest.”_

_“I look pretty good for eighty seven, no?” Natalia smirked. “Gravity’s got nothing on me.”_

_Steve chuckled and bit into his trubochki._

_********_

_Steve had been there for all of her bad Thursdays over that year. That first too stormy Thursday that reminded her of the war. That Thursday where she told Sue Storm of the Fantastic Four that she was an idiot to stay with Mr ‘Fantastic’: Sue agreed and they proceeded to get smashed, filled out a petition for divorce and used Stark tech to send an intergalactic booty call to the Silver Surfer for Sue. It was rather amazing how much Sue’s little brother looked like Steve. Sue kept trying to smack the back of his head whenever Steve checked in to make sure they weren’t wreaking too much mischief._

_And he’d been there for the Thursday when she’d received a postcard tracing back to Fiji from Bruce. Natalia had just handed him the small rectangle covered in a close script and let him read. Bruce wasn’t coming back for her. Bruce was going back to the wife she did not know about. Somehow he had managed to hide_ that _from her._

_Even Tony had known before she did:_

_“Betty Ross?” Tony clarified with an overemphasised degree of surprise as he read over Steve’s shoulder (it didn’t matter if Tony saw. Bruce had already put it on a postcard for all the world to see). He was faking. “Elizabeth Ross, I guess. Isn’t she the Secretary of State’s daughter?’_

_“I used to go out with her great aunt,” Steve said levelly. “They have the same name and nickname- though Betty from the forties used to be Betsy, but the publicity mill couldn’t have that so they made her more patriotic. She was a firecracker. Wanted to stand on her own two feet and she did.”_

_“Did you date everyone’s aunt, Cap?” Tony queried superciliously. “I feel deceived: were you a saint or a trouser snake?”_

_“Either way, I was and am still a national treasure,” Steve replied breezily. He caught Natasha’s eye and she knew that he had understood what she needed without her having to say. She needed them to say nothing, because she had nothing to think yet. He made Tony’s clowning seem not so annoying and claustrophobia-inducing as she processed the information she had just received. He was her best friend and he looked out for her._

_It was nice having someone in your corner. She had that with Clint, but Clint had been on the way to retirement by that point and consequently spending more time with his family. Clint was family._

_Steve was…_

 

 

Steve was the guy who brought a ‘peace offering’ and it just so happened to be the trubochki their unborn Bean who he did not know about wanted.

 

“You’ve been in a bad mood lately. I’m trying to give you your space, but you know me. I know I messed up but you haven’t even said ‘hello’ properly to me yet- I’ve been waiting for twenty six hours and fourteen minutes,” Steve said as he strode over. In a continuous flow of action he bent down, gathered Natalia up in his arms and pressed his lips to hers in sweet, soft passion as he lifted her off the ground. With her feet dangling several inches off the ground, Steve held her securely as he murmured against her lips in Russian: “I missed you, Natshechka.”

 

If lightning struck repeatedly in the same place, surely this was something special you had to investigate.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Natshechka’ is a nickname used for someone who has the name Natalia (Note: it gets really confusing to understand who the characters are referring to the first time you read a Russian novel because of all the nicknames).
> 
> Steve, Bucky and Wolverine-before-he-was-‘Wolverine of the X-men’ really did rescue Natalia Romanov from a ninja clan called HAND that was trying to recruit her in the 1940s. I’m not trying to stick strictly to canon here because let’s face it: canon in the Marvel Universe is really confusing. But just suspend your disbelief and believe in my sequence of events.
> 
> Black Sunday 1942 is a historical event and the long-term bombing of Stalingrad left it in flattened rubble. If you read up on the 23rd of August 1942, then you’ll learn about the horrifically sad events and loss of life. But I think you’ll still be inspired by some of the details, especially the active roles played by ‘badass’ Russian women in spite of the misogyny present in the reality of their lives. You can totally believe the Black Widow coming from their ilk.


	5. A Suit on Casual Fridays (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemon Cheesecake! I mean SMUT!

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Five

A Suit on Casual Fridays (Part 1)

_Friday, 4 March 2016_

_Loath as she was to admit it, it had taken until the Friday after the Nuclear Lemonade Incident for Natasha to acknowledge the fact that it was not the continued effects of an aphrodisiac that landed her repeatedly in bed with Steve. The next morning they were fine and checked out clear at base. They also trained their protégés, filled in paperwork, ran errands and then landed up slickened in other’s excess on Steve’s bedroom floor. The same thing happened in her office, the armoury, elevator 4B, Quinjet 4967 and a whole lot more in her bed. Her bloody instincts about him were right._

_“I think I’m beginning to like the fact that we both don’t sleep too much- leaves more time for sex,” Steve purred before lowering his head back down to gently lap at Natalia’s clit while he teasingly traced the edges of her folds with his index fingers._

_“Just there, Steve- ah, more,” Natalia gasped as she languidly twisted her nipples. Her lover obeyed. Natalia’s toes curled and she dragged them back up over his shoulders, splaying her thighs wider in eagerness. She whimpered and arched her back, tugging hard on her nipples as Steve laved a broad stroke up slowly over her button. He paused to smirk up at her, then delved lower to nibble down one side of her labia before returning back up the other side and resumed his passionate kissing of her clit. Soon Natalia gave into the buck of orgasm, with Steve plunging his index and middle finger into her contracting channel, curling his fingers and beckoning her into a higher level of sexual bliss._

_He clambered to his knees, sucking on his frothy wet digits as Natalia blinked the tears out of her eyes and tried to calm her heartbeat. He was already hard and Natalia was looking forward to enjoying the exquisite pressure of his thickness inside her as she raked her fingers down the bulges and grooves of his muscled torso. Steve leaned over her, his left hand supporting his weight as he held his palm in front of her lips._

_“Taste,” he commanded gruffly, indicating the wetness that still covered and dripped off his palm. Natalia had discovered just how much he liked a light touch tracing over his palm and complied by running the tip of her tongue over the lines that ran across it. He liked it so much his cock jumped._

_Perhaps another thing that may have pointed to the fact that whatever this was, was serious may have been that they had subconsciously selected to go_ au naturelle _like a long-term couple in a serious committed relationship. Alarmingly, it hadn’t even been discussed despite both of them being very cautious people. The last time Natalia had sex without barrier protection was when she was married. Steve, well, he had never. There was no way that the US Military was going to send their poster boy into battle without a free and readily available supply of condoms. They could not have some French girl making claims outside of wedlock. They also wouldn’t be able to monitor any offspring should they come into existence. But even without the urging of Steve’s handlers, he would have been careful anyway: The Military was very consistent in their campaigns against communicable diseases within their forces. Soldiers contracting the clap would be a drain on resources. Therefore there were a lot of posters put up reminding them of the possibility of contracting a venereal disease._

_It felt amazing though to be with each other so intimately and in trust. They both enjoyed the sticky consequences of satisfaction. Natalia fully appreciated the fact that Steve Rogers was a man of earthy desires. Steve loved that Natalia let him in and enjoyed him uninhibitedly._

_Natalia smiled smugly up at him as he reached for her hip and drew her pelvis up his lap, wrapping a leg around his waist and the other over his shoulder. He took his shaft in hand as he used the other to appreciatively knead her butt cheek while he pressed and rubbed his tip over her clitoris and slit. The pearlescent ooze that seeped from his tip intermingled with her juices, slickening up his dick. He groaned when Natalia reached to playfully squeeze and roll her hand around his head. He caught her eye and glared sternly at her. The redhead responded with a mischievous smirk and removed her hand only to lick the unguent she’d sullied her skin with off her palm._

_Steve answered her with a thrust into her hot, tight passage. He developed a rough, steady rhythm, keeping himself deep inside of her. His eyes roamed from her flushed, desperate countenance striving for release, to her jiggling round breasts tipped in agitated rosy nipples and down to where his flesh disappeared into hers. He needed to see her come undone and strummed his thumb over her exposed and swollen clit, grunting as he fucked her harder making her wail in approval._

 

_Natalia squeaked sharply as she came suddenly, clawing at the sheets and down Steve’s arm as she convulsed through the pleasure. Her salacious partner would not see it end there though and withdrew from her as she regained her bearings. She found his powerful thighs around her middle and his length against the skin of her sternum._

_Eyes ablaze, Steve gazed down at Natalia as they both panted heavily. The slightest flick of his hips nudged his weighty turgidity over her soft skin. Natalia smiled brazenly up at him, understanding his request. She clutched her full breasts together, surrounding Steve’s cock in their softness and lifted her head to kiss his tip. Steve sucked in a breath at the visual and the sensation, before he dropped forward to lean his weight onto his left arm. Slowly he began to thrust between Natalia’s breasts._

_Picking up speed incrementally, he gruffly commanded: “Lick!”_

_Natalia obliged him lewdly, tonguing him sloppily and slurping the steady drizzle of fluid leaking from his slit. Strands of wet connected and fell from him to her lips and chin, arousing him into an igneous state. The constant massage of his ball sack between them had the pleasure creeping up his spine, but the clincher was the look in Natalia’s eyes as she watched his expression while her full lips enclosed around him and she whimpered a hum to resonate through his head._

_Steve grunted in primal release, spurting into her mouth, on her neck and collarbones. He caught himself from collapsing onto her and watched as she showed him how she licked and swallowed his seed._

_Grinning dazedly at each other, they barely broke contact as Steve realigned himself to settle between her legs again and wrapped his arms around her. Her décolleté presented to him, he lowered his head to lick, suck and kiss the remnants of his cream off her sensitised skin, chuckling at her muted gasps of pleasure and thoroughly enjoying the feel of her fingers carding through his damp hair._

_“I think I love the fact that our biological parameters allow us to have more time for sex,” Natalia murmured against Steve’s ear as she raked her nails over his broad shoulders, traced up his neck and into his hair. They kissed lazily and were promptly interrupted by their own heightened senses detecting an intruder._

_It was a surprise to Natalia that Steve’s hand was on her pistol at the very same second that hers was and that he’d directed their course towards the threat with unhesitant accuracy. His body had flattened against hers, pushing her into the mattress and shielding her. Steve Rogers picked up a gun to protect her. Her mind was reeling. It did not even really matter that the intruder was just Vision who still did not quite get the whole not moving through walls freely thing._

_“Good morning, Steve, Natasha,” Vision greeted in an unaffected tone. Steve stared incredulously at the android while Natasha found her voice. She guided Steve’s arm down so that he was no longer aiming at the red-skinned floating being._

_“Vision, there is a door for a reason. It’s closed for a reason. People also knock on closed doors when they want to speak to the people behind those closed doors alerting them to their presence and reason for conversing before the occupants of the room grant them permission to enter,” Natasha said with a patience that astonished her._

_“I know,” Vision answered simply. Natasha was about to shoot him herself, when he continued: “But Tony is downstairs and he’s insisting on speaking with Steve and he has less care for boundaries than I do and an inability to not overreact to any new information relating to relationships. He also has a weakness for disseminating gossip. I figured my coming to get you would be better received than his search and arrival in your quarters.”_

_“Tell him I’m in the shower and I’ll be out in seven minutes,” Steve instructed before Vision backed out the way he came. Steve kissed Natalia three more times before he wrenched himself away and headed off for the shower. So far they had one known witness._

_Friday, 25 March 2016_

_The Avengers did not throw parties on Fridays. The law of their Verse seemed to be that the Avengers would never get to say “T.G.I.F!” because if things were to suddenly go to hell, it would be on a Friday. Each and every one of them had at least three stories to tell about how being an Avenger ruined their Friday night plans. Consequently, they began throwing their parties on Thursdays, and started the day later on Fridays to allow for hangover time. If they’d already de-stressed and had some fun they could face a whole weekend of non-stop world-saving._

_Hangover time was much needed that particular Friday, for Thor had dropped in bearing ale for his team mates and some Asgardian cosmic data to placate Jane with. Unfortunately, Jane hated parties thrown by Tony because Tony was too nosy, brash and would end up going off on his own diatribe for ages after cornering her with questions on her branch of science. This time she told Thor to stay with his friends while she went home early, which Thor did. It was only when Thor awoke on a balcony of the Avengers Tower in his underwear, having still not had any sex and blinking at the harshly bright sun that he realised that it was perhaps not what Jane actually wanted him to do. He was going to have to apologise a lot again. But first he had more pressing needs: the incessant screaming call of Nature that woke him in the first place._

_Thankfully the sliding door to the balcony was unlocked and from his initial glance at the décor of the bedroom he entered into, he was in Steve’s apartment. The bed was still unmade and Thor could hear the water running in the shower of the en suite bathroom, so he quickly made his way over to the bedroom door and found it locked- impenetrably locked. F.R.I.D.A.Y. wouldn’t even acknowledge him when he tried to convince the A.I. to open the door for him as he danced about, twisting and shimming to try and keep the contents of his bladder within his bladder. Relieving himself outdoors was out of the question because there was the slight chance he might get photographed doing so and the one thing Lady Pepper had drilled into his head was that he was to refrain from causing the Avengers any embarrassment whatsoever._

_Thor decided that since Steve was his good friend, then he would understand the urgency of the situation. Therefore he yanked open the bathroom door and headed straight to the toilet on the other side of the white and silver suite._

_“Worry not, it is only I,” Thor said, waving in passing as he focused on the object of his relief. “Your bedroom door is locked and I could not find passage to another lavatory.” It was only after he had gotten the lid and seat up and begun to achieve his relief that Thor’s mind registered the decidedly feminine squeak followed by a gruff reprimand of “Thor! Really?”_

_The blond Asgardian looked up and to the side into the mirror above the sink and raised his brows in surprise. His fellow blond was nude, turned away from him in the shower. That was not something he hadn’t seen before, having used the showers in the gym. But what was new, was the wet dark red locks and green eyes that glared at him venomously from behind Steve’s shoulder. It seemed he had caught Steve and his Lady Natasha in an early morning tryst judging from the fact that the redheaded warrior’s legs were wrapped around their team leader’s waist._

_“Huzzah!” Thor cheered, raising the arm that was not needed in steadying efforts to pump his fist in the air. Lady Natasha did not look amused, but that might have been because of the continued loud pouring of his body’s waste water. Steve at least seemed to be trying to stifle a chuckle._

_If it was anyone else but Thor, the silence that followed as he finished up and washed his hands might have held enough awkwardness to prove deadly. But the blond prince of the Æsir had very little qualms about beaming at them through the reflection in the mirror._

_“Such a well-matched pairing will bring you many long years of happiness,” Thor grinned. “I am glad that my two comrades have recognised the potential for bliss in their partnership. May your bond remain strong and true.”_

_With his well-wishing done, Thor left; and promptly returned._

_“Steve, could you input the security codes to unlock your bedroom door so I could get out please?” Thor asked from the other side of the bathroom door._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may seem like I’m Tony-bashing sometimes. Okay, a lot of the time. But actually, all those faults I’m pointing out really endear Tony to me.


	6. A Suit on Casual Fridays (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff. Like fresh homemade marshmallows. Now I want to make marshmallows… *whispers* I make mine with alcohol!

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

                                                                                                                              

Chapter Six

A Suit on Casual Fridays (Part 2)

_Friday, 4 September 2015_

_“I can’t believe you did this,” Natalia said quietly._

_“Tell me it’s okay, Natalia,” Steve said as quietly behind her. “I… It’s too presumptuous of me, right?”_

_Natalia shook her head silently and turned to face him. They were standing in the middle of the main stage of the Bolshoi and the conductor and his orchestra were warming up in the pit while a wardrobe mistress was waiting in the wings for her._

_“I know your name day’s only on Tuesday, but we’ll be in Columbia then,” Steve gushed. He took a deep breath before continuing at a more measured pace: “I promised I’d come see you dance in the Bolshoi…”_

_Natalia stared at him for a long while before the edges of her mouth picked up in a tiny curve. She did not know the exact date of her birth, just the year, so she never celebrated her birthday. But since they'd been paired as partners at S.H.I.E.L.D., Steve had made the effort to celebrate her Russian Name Day. It was usually just a token awkwardly presented on the day, clue-ing Natalia in that he'd known all along that she was 'Natalia' and not just 'Natasha'. The only other person to celebrate her name day had been her adoptive father, Ivan Petrovich._

_“Steve,” she sighed. He was just starting to lament the fact that he’d been dead wrong on this embarrassing grand gesture, when Natalia was up on her toes and kissing him tenderly. Kissing him on the lips. He was so not going to mess it up this time._

_It was over all too soon, though the short exchange had robbed Steve of the breath in his lungs. With a playful slap to his bicep, Natasha scolded: “You asshole. If you’re not careful, I’m going to fall in love with you again.”_

_“Ag-again?” Steve stuttered._

_“Back in forty two, you were the first man fourteen year old Natalia Romanova thought was handsome. I was quite in love with you, much to Papa Ivan’s ire,” Natalia laughed over her shoulder as she went to join the wardrobe mistress to get kitted out._

_She danced ‘The Dying Swan’ and after the performance was asked why she chose to leave ballet by staff members. She actually got a scolding for having abandoned her talent and Bolshoi training, which Natalia took in good humoured stride. It was after all, one of the most sentimentally beautiful gifts she’d ever been given. Even though the trip to Moscow was the final destination in a chase case that traversed Eurasia, Steve still managed to arrange a private concert with the orchestra and full costume within the ten hours that they’d been in the city. She really was going to fall in love with him if he wasn’t careful._

_Friday, 4 December 2015_

_“So my friend Vicky and I had to blend in because we both had the same mark, neither of us could tell who’d actually made the kill and an American agent was onto us,” Natalia explained as she tugged Steve along. “Except that blending in meant that we’d have to take our tops off because it was just that kind of party and it was 1969. Only we both had weapons holsters on under our blouses.”_

_“It’s amazing how one spot can have the same general use over such a long time,” Steve remarked about the building they were standing in front of in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn. He left Natalia’s story alone, because, well, it was a public street and the result of dwelling on the images she was conjuring up would be highly inappropriate. “Back in the thirties this was a speakeasy.”_

_In the late sixties the spot was a continuous party frequented by artists in all disciplines and anyone who wanted a slice of cool. And in the present day, the door at the back of a Laundromat led to an underground music venue where gigs were only announced on social media hours before they commenced._

_“I think I want more chestnuts,” Natalia mused as she looked into her bag of dwindling Christmas time treats. Her bright red scarf was coming loose and she fiddled with it distractedly._

_“I know I want more chestnuts,” Steve responded. He’d already finished his. “We’ll have to go back. There are even less people selling roasted chestnuts these days than during the Depression.”_

_“Less people than the bleakest winters in Soviet Russia,” Natalia replied. She offered a chestnut to Steve and popped the last one into her mouth before she scrunched up the packaging and tossed it into the nearest waste bin ten yards away. She made a perfect basket. “Let’s get another round and decide from there where to go.”_

_“Hey, I can introduce you to the street corner where Bucky and I were apprehended by the fastest sixty year old priest ever,” Steve suggested while Natalia tightened her scarf knot and tucked the ends into her camel toned cashmere coat._

_“What?” Natalia chuckled as she curled her arm around his and slipped her hand into his Donegal tweed coat pocket. “Tell me the story behind that.”_

_“You see we got busted by Father Douglas for dealing in contraband- catholic contraband. We wouldn’t have gotten caught though, our operation was smoother than the setup that the bootleggers had, but Jonathan Lacy had to snitch in confession and mention our names, and he was stupid enough to confess outside of the booth.”_

_“You haven’t told me what it is that you did,” Natalia badgered him gleefully as they walked along the street._

_“We dealt in portraiture- of the erotic variety,” Steve smirked._

_“You sold French postcards?” Natalia guffawed._

_“No, how would two catholic kids from 1930s Brooklyn get hold of enough French postcards to sell? We sold drawings,” Steve explained. “I drew the pictures. Bucky took orders, custom requests and delivered the goods.”_

_“Where’d you get reference material?” Natalia asked slyly._

_“I’ve always had a good memory and a great imagination,” Steve grinned. “Vaudeville, peepshows and neighbours. Mr Adams, this retired bachelor professor who lived two blocks away had a ridiculously extensive collection of erotic fiction. His public reputation was that he was a hermit who just collected books. But he had all the banned books from Europe. He let me borrow them while I was sick.”_

_“So how did Father Douglas catch you?” Natalia nudged. She readjusted Steve’s olive green scarf around his neck so that the crisp gusts blowing every now and then would not flick it in his face. Steve slowed his pace and allowed her to finish before he spoke._

_“Well, Bucky and I had just come back from the pictures. It was a Wednesday and we’d skipped mass, so when we spotted him we thought he was just going to reprimand us for that. But then he got this look on his face as he stood leaning against the churchyard fence- this right here was our parish,” Steve pointed out as they came up to the Co-Cathedral of St Joseph’s. “He bellowed at us accusing us of being miscreants courting Satan and literally jumped over the fence and ran after us. So we bolted. He caught us both before I even had time to get winded with my asthma. Later we found out that he’d been a boxing champion and all-round athlete in his youth.”_

_“He also wasn’t in a very good mood because Father Philippe, who was pretty young and_ French _, had run off with one of the O’Brian girls the week before,” Steve mused._

_Natalia snickered at his story as he told it. They soon found a roasted chestnut vendor and later viewed the spot where Steve and Bucky found themselves scrambling into the street to escape the ear twisting of Father Douglas. How could anyone ever be bored in New York City when there was a story about each and every spot?_

_Friday, 1 April 2016_

_It always amazed Natalia how effective a ‘Clark Kent’ disguise was. How was it that ordinary people managed to not recognise familiar faces with just a minor change such as the addition of a pair of black rimmed glasses? She was perplexed at the notion, and yet she was also grateful. This simple adjustment to Steve’s image meant that they could go out as a couple in ‘relative anonymity’. Sure, a few people recognised them, but they were very few and far between. Or, at least, they recognised that the two Avengers wanted privacy and were making some effort at blending into a crowd._

_For her own ‘attempt’ at disguise, Natalia simply tied her hair into a ponytail and held back on the glamour. Even if they were only going to a hole-in-the-wall bar in Prospect Heights that they frequented together often, she would still make a little effort at looking the appropriately best she could for the occasion. It was_ a date _after all. Therefore, the girls made their presence known in the soft grey deep V-neck cotton t-shirt over the very sexy Chantilly lace bra she had on. And of course she paired them with a tight pair of blue jeans that moulded to her curves. Black sneakers were donned, because it was a ‘hole-in-the-wall’ bar, and a brown leather jacket that draped over the back of her chair completed the ensemble._

_The funny thing was that Steve wore basically the same combo (minus the lingerie and with the addition of his Clark Kent Glasses) in masculine form, and it was not at all intentional._

_But it was Friday night, and that meant there was a high likelihood of the evening turning out to be troublesome. When you added the fact that it was April Fool’s day and Thor had lamented missing his brother Loki during his last visit to Earth, it would be compulsory to expect something to go awry._

_For a moment, it looked like trouble had found them once more when a brunet patron seemed to have ticked off the wrong people drinking at the bar. Natalia could just feel how Steve was tensing to stand and break up the fight before it even happened. She figured the dark-haired man should just learn to not piss the general public off and consequently ruin other people’s Friday night dates._

_He looked like trouble though, judging from his posture, build and just the back view of him: he was tall and obviously muscular to the point that it was extremely likely that he spent most of his time working out- his veins stood out prominently over his forearms, his stance was that of a cocky son of a bitch who thought he could take everybody there and that they were actually the ones irritating him. When she thought about it, the guy at the bar was terribly familiar. As if she had willed him to action with her mind, the man at the bar spun around to reveal himself to be none other than James Howlett aka Logan aka Wolverine- and he was wearing black rimmed glasses._

_“James!” Steve called out beside her, having recognised his former unit mate._

_“Steve?” Logan responded with just as much surprised disbelief. In a second they were walking to each other and into a big bromantic bear-hug. “What are you doing here?”_

_“What am I doing here? What are you doing here?” Steve replied, while Natalia wondered if the rest of the exchange would stick to the same script and tone as ‘The Lion King’._

_“I need a couple hundred beers in me,” Logan laughed. “I’m up to my ears in teenage drama queen problems and needed a break from the brats at school.”_

_“You teach? Wow, we teach, sort of, too,” Steve replied, gesturing over his shoulder at Natalia who was still seated at their table._

_“Nat?” Logan queried. “Is that you?”_

_“Hey, James,” Natalia greeted and stood up to give him a kiss on the cheek when they returned to the table. “I see you finally remember me.”_

_“I see you finally remember me, Natalia, when I’ve been remembering you for a while now,” Logan retorted as he ‘borrowed’ a chair from the table next to theirs, much to the annoyance of the occupants of the table. “Though I’m a little surprised at myself, since most of our past encounters had you dolled up in some kind of ball gown or battle-suit and carrying highly effective weaponry.”_

_Steve slipped into his seat next to Natalia, placing his arm around the back of her chair, something that Logan took note of with a little smirk. “How are you?”_

_“I’m pretty good actually. Not feeling tormented by being technically the oldest person in the room- any room,” Logan replied._

_“Preaching to the choir,” Steve chuckled. “So you were saying you teach?”_

_“Yeah, Charles finally convinced me to play a part in the community,” Logan answered._

_Steve looked momentarily confused but Natalia clarified: “That school we were talking about after Tony spray-painted Sam’s wings white.”_

_“Oh, okay, I remember,” Steve nodded. “Well, at least we don’t have as many pupils as you do.”_

_The three of them caught up on each other’s lives, sharing anecdotes and battle stories over the next few rounds of drinks. Steve and Natalia had already been to dinner and an off-Broadway play and had lots of time to kill with their old friend. If one were to glance in on the bar, one would have assumed them to be like any other trio of New Yorkers out on a Friday night, and not essential cogs to superhero teams saving the world every other semester. It warmed Natalia’s heart that she could have this, in spite of what she was- what they all three were._

_“I might be Russian, ex-KGB and ex-Red Room, but even I must heed Nature’s call. I’m off to the powder room, boys. Feel free to gossip about me to your hearts’ content. I promise I won’t monitor what you say- probably,” Natalia smirked over her shoulder as she headed off to the washroom._

_“So you and Little Red?” Logan grinned._

_“D’you know, that’s what Tony calls her sometimes too,” Steve replied with a smile playing on his lips as he watched Natalia leave. “Yes, Natalia and I are a… couple, I guess.”_

_“‘I guess’?” Logan queried with an arching of his bushy brow. “Natalia always gets what she wants and looks to me like she got you. You’re already spun up cosy in her web.”_

_“Hey, she’s an amazing broad. I’m just playing it at her pace,” Steve countered with a shrug._

_“Steve Rogers is the least likely person to be able to play it cool. Especially around dames. Especially around beautiful dames who can kick his ass while applying their lipstick perfectly. I’ll bet you’ve already bought her a ring,” Logan chuckled knowingly._

_“Fine, you got me,” Steve blushed. “I really… she’s really…”_

_“Yeah, I understand, pal,” Logan sighed. “Once a redhead’s gotten into your veins, she’s in your heart for life.”_

_“You and who?” Steve enquired curiously._

_“A broad called Jean and it’s hopeless,” Logan admitted. “But anyway, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s to take the chances that are put in front of you when they appear. You kids should do that.”_

_“I think I’ve finally let that lesson sink in,” Steve responded contemplatively._

_“Just remember to fight for what you’ve got, it’ll come to you some way or the other,” Logan advised as he mulled over his own memories. “Just think about how long that dame’s been angling for you- it only took her seventy years.”_

_Steve rolled his eyes at Logan, to which the Mutant retorted: “What? It was the most obvious thing that she was sweet on you, even if she was a super-ninja ballerina kid- probably made it more obvious. I swear I saw a few envelopes covered in Cyrillic among your fan mail.”_

_“Yeah, I’m still a little mad at you for not writing back. But then again, Red Skull, HYDRA blah blah blah,” Natalia teased, surprising them as she slipped back into her seat next to Steve and greeted him with a peck._

_“How much did you ‘monitor’?” Steve asked curiously._

_“Ah, you’ll never know,” Natalia answered, before flagging down a waitress for another round._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you may have noticed that Natasha’s knocking back a few here and at this point she’s preggers. Remember, she still doesn’t know or even remotely expect that as a possibility, and some of you might find if you asked your mothers or are mothers that drinks were drunk until pregnancies were noticed. Some of you might not even blink an eye because of that French practice. Still, Nat’s just unwittingly living life here. And this is a Super Bean.
> 
> Steve’s catholic stories are inspired by the hilarious after lunch reminiscences told by various members of my maternal family, who are catholic. And by someone I went to university with who went to a super strict same-sex high school like I did and who had run an underground adult entertainment rental scheme (at a prestigious boys’ boarding school). 
> 
> [While researching for this chapter, I found out that some dude called James Rogers, who was born in Ireland has registered a tartan for his family in the Scottish Tartan registry. Co-inky-dink! I ended up putting Steve in Donegal tweed anyway.]


	7. A Suit on Casual Fridays (Part 3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We catch up to ‘Captain America: Civil War’. So… SPOILERS! You should have read the tags and know that this went from Post Ultron to Post CACW. If you need to, go watch it or go wiki the summary. 
> 
> And now, just a twist of lime in your cola.

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

 

Chapter Seven

A Suit on Casual Fridays (Part 3)

 

Friday, 29 April 2016

Natalia wondered if the scent of sex smelled sweeter if you were in love with your partner or if it was just her imagination. Yes, she could admit it: She was in love with Steve Rogers. It had probably been a long time coming too. She simultaneously wanted to keep him safe and have him by her side on all her dangerous missions. It was part of what was causing chaos within her in the aftermath of the Lagos Tragedy.

 

She almost lost him again. Part of her could argue that she could have lost him at any moment of any day in their occupation, but as a professional she could assess the risk within risk. She knew that Rumlow had come within a hair’s breadth of killing Captain America, and that was the first time the risk had been that great in a long while. If it hadn’t been for Wanda, she might have lost Steve and yet, so much pain came from the young girl’s well-meant intentions. Natalia had been in Wanda’s shoes before, and she still had no idea how to process that kind of dilemma.

 

The major difference in the way that she approached dealing with her part in the events now, was that instead of returning to mechanical coldness and viciously stamping out any kind of emotion felt about what she’d had a hand in, Natalia had somewhere she could warm away the numbness. She had Steve, and although they were dealing with the same set of feelings about what happened, they could rely on the fact that they had each other’s support.

 

Words were attempted, to heal especially the youngest member of the team they led, but everyone needed their moment of isolation to absorb what had happened. And very soon, Natalia discovered she did not want to be alone, and neither did Steve. Silent companionship became tactile comfort which bled into a deep yearning for physical, carnal connection in the dark hours of the morning after they arrived back in New York.

 

She was so glad that they could sit joined, limbs entangled, rocking into each other. She loved that she could feel that thing that was life within him as well as the physical signs of hot breath against her sweaty skin, the thrum of his pulse under her fingertips as she slid her hand over his shoulder to grip the scruff at his nape and the heat that she needed to clutch at harder so that she may never be without it. Saccharine bliss flooded her arteries as she reached her peak and helped her lover to his.

 

“Natshechka, I love you Natalia,” Steve huffed into the crook of her shoulder.

 

“I know,” Natalia replied.

 

“Hey, don’t go Han Solo on me,” Steve chuckled as he drew back a little to look her in the eye.

 

Natalia answered him with a smug smirk and a peck on the nose. The sulk threatening to appear on Steve’s mouth was so near, but Natalia’s expression softened rapidly. Allowing him to see her vulnerability, Natalia whispered back: “I love you, Steve.”

 

They sat absorbing the pure significance of the moment for what they were apart and together. Natalia was finally sure that she trusted herself to know what she wanted. In reality it wasn’t a lot to ask, but to her those things required a great deal of effort and planning. She needed to know what she was working with and where she should begin.

 

“Steve, if I asked you not to fight something,” Natasha began, “but you wanted to, you felt that you had to do it- what fight would you choose?”

 

“Natalia, you know me- if I can help someone, if I can fix it so it’s right then I’ll do it,” Steve answered after pondering her question. “Of course, I’ll consider what you’ll say, but I have to stand for what’s right. It’s something within me that’ll drive me nuts until I comply. You have the same thing driving you- it’s why we’re on this team.”

 

“Yes, but you happen to have it ablaze within you and I just have a match light,” Natasha smiled wryly.

 

“Which can spark a fire and is much more useful than an uncontrollable and difficult to govern blaze,” Steve countered with a crooked grin. “What is this question about anyway?”

 

“I’m trying to gauge whether we’re on the same page in our relationship,” Natalia explained. “On the surface it seems we are and in many ways we are in sync, but I think in an important fundamental that I’m not sure how to identify, we may be chapters apart.”

 

“Hey, we’ll work on it,” Steve tried to reassure her, although the disappointment in his eyes was plain.

 

“You’re not doing anything wrong, Steve,” Natalia clarified. “For once, I don’t think either of us are. It’s just… I want us to talk about the future after this meeting with the Secretary of State this morning, okay? It’s important. My head and my heart, they’re still a little rusty at talking to each other and so it’s obviously still a bit difficult to make them into one voice to talk to you.”

 

“We’ll talk,” Steve assured Natalia as he tightened his arms around her and held her close. Changing the topic of conversation, he asked: “What should we do?”

 

“I don’t know,” Natalia murmured. “Wanda’s still so young. Maybe we shouldn’t have her out in the field. I know she is eager to do good but she needs more training; she needs to live a little, grow up and try experience some normalcy after everything. If I could have had that, maybe I wouldn’t have had the life stained with so much blood that I’ve lived.”

 

They’d long ago established that they had more shared life experience than they’d initially thought when meeting again after Steve woke up from the ice. Natalia’s recovery of her memory saw to that. She had her assassin’s career. Steve had a war- and when one thought of it, war was always a blood bath at the end of a pointless path one could have turned from many times before you finished. Whether you were right or wrong, and what side you viewed things from did not really matter if you were taking lives because someone told you to. Natalia had done for Mother Russia, Steve had done in patriotism; but even if you reasoned your way through the chaos of why, it still felt wrong to do so. Your soul told you that whether you listened and heeded or not.

 

“You’re right,” Steve agreed. “She needs family and we’re trying to be that for her, but she also needs…”

 

“She needs more than us and a computer simulation as her teachers or she’ll never fully trust her capabilities again,” Natalia interjected. “The way they teach you in rotten-cored organisations like HYDRA and the Red Room, you come to learn that the only thing you can trust is your own capabilities. For Wanda to have that taken away from her is devastating on some level.”

 

“Let’s try and get some shut eye before what is probably going to be a ‘witch hunt’- pun intended,” Steve sighed as he guided them onto their sides still entwined. “Why do I have to face my ex-girlfriend’s nephew?”

 

“It’s Karmic justice for not answering my fan mail from 1942,” Natalia snickered. Steve mock-bit her shoulder in retaliation and Natalia tried to squirm away but was unsuccessful.

 

“Hey your scar’s lighter. It’s like it’s fading,” Steve commented as he lifted his head to look at the mark his fingers had been caressing. Indeed the bullet wound scar from the attack by the Winter Soldier had healed some.

 

“You remember the mission to Australia just before the… Nuclear Lemonade Incident?”

 

“The ‘Nuclear Lemonade Incident’ where we finally made love albeit in a more uninhibited fashion than either of us was intending?” Steve clarified playfully.

 

“Yes, that one. I think the blood transfusion you gave me affected my body a little- had a healing effect,” Natalia continued carefully. “But sleep now. We’ve got to talk to an irritating man and then talk a lot more on our own later.”

 

 

@>-`-,----

 

 

Natasha wondered how long she could hold out before she started biting people’s heads off- or appendages off their heads. It seemed to her that everyone was being emotional in a situation that called for cool logic. They needed facts so they could plan ahead and make wise decisions; instead the men around her were making decisions based on guilt, pettiness or the ideal of principles without examining the details. This was the behaviour that always got them into trouble in the first place- the kind of trouble started by something technological created by someone in the Stark family.

 

She was used to her boys and figured she could wrangle them into sensibility, if given enough time to work on them alone, so that they could be a team and act together. Instead, Tony’s edginess had infected them all making them snap at the bait that was his attempt at self-flagellation. She honestly wanted to hit him over the head for that. It was really callous how he ignored Wanda’s obvious pain and wanted to just fix the problem now with a snap of his fingers. Natasha had noticed the absence of Pepper in Tony’s life and deduced that this was his attempt to change for the better. What Tony did not realise was the problem was more about how he did things than what he did.

 

As usual, it fell to her to fix everything. Now she had to calm Steve down and make him see why signing the accords would be a good idea at this point. Sitting next to him, she could literally feel the animosity rolling off of him in that meeting and it had nothing to do with her innate ability to read and sense Steve. She could read it in everyone’s body language: They all thought he was going to head-butt Tony or Secretary Ross and so they all had the tiny tells of readiness to spring into action just in case it did happen.

 

For a moment, she felt very tired. It wasn’t enough that she barely slept after an exhausting mission, that she was worried for Wanda, that she had to endure the stench of Secretary of State Ross’ cologne which was making her all-day sickness act up, that she had a feeling that Ross had some sort of pettiness-by-proxy feeling towards her since he was the father of her ex-boyfriend’s wife, and that she still had to tell the father of her Bean that she miraculously had a bean in her. No, the UN had actually for once decided to act quickly on this resolution leaving her with a matter of days to get her team on board.

 

She was almost glad for the interruption that Steve’s cell had provided. Only he was taking awfully long with his call and she was worried he might just walk off in order to prevent himself from blowing his top at Tony. So she followed him into the small library on that floor to check up on him brooding in front of the window.

 

“Hey, are you ready to go back in?” Natasha asked. Steve shook his head still gazing out of the window. Natasha took a seat leaning against the steel and oak desk behind him.

 

“Listen, Steve, I know that we’re all still reeling from Lagos. But so are the rest of the world, and the way that things have been going out there people want to see that their fears are being addressed. They want to feel heard. You have to come back; you have to at least listen to us. Steve, we’re your family and we’re all just trying to look out for each other.”

 

“How is Tony looking out for Wanda?” Steve snapped. Natasha paused a moment, taken aback by his reaction to what was really a gentle coaxing from her. She had more work cut out for her than she estimated.

 

“Tony is being a dick, because Tony is a dick. We love him, but it’s the truth. This isn’t something that’s about sides, y’know.”

 

“Of course it’s about sides! It’s about what’s right and what’s wrong. We’ll have sides fabricating evidence so we can charge in and bring down states so they can take over all in the name of greed over the profit gained from natural resources by next week if we sign this thing,” Steve ranted.

 

“That is a possibility but not a foregone conclusion,” Natasha shot back in exasperation. “You have to come to the table to get a say in what happens. If we are involved we get to have input. We get to raise all our points and find a way to make this work together so the people we are doing this for can feel safer and trust us.”

 

He was still glaring out of the window but Natasha did not have to look at his reflection to know that he was full-on sulking by then.

 

“Steven,” Natasha scolded. “Do you really want to be brought up for charges in practically every country in the world? For doing our job? Because even though we might have had some government backing in the past no one likes their sovereignty challenged by groups who think they are the boss of the world and can do whatever they like without consequences because they see themselves as ‘heroes’. They don’t give a fuck if you help them against a danger they never felt. They care about what they do see, what they read, what they watch; and the news is telling them that we’re saying we know what’s best for them. Take it from an ex-soviet: everybody hates condescension.”

 

“I can’t do this right now- us if you’re going to be like this. Nat, it’s a trap. They will not let us have input beyond choosing what fucking underwear we get to wear. I’ve lived this,” Steve retorted over his shoulder.

 

“I’ve lived it too- and for fucking longer than you have!” Natasha yelled, losing her temper. She was logically focusing on their work. Why did he have to bring their relationship into this? “I don’t like being told what to do, but if you act according to your own solo-scribed manifesto then you’ll be seen as a dictator!”

 

“What the fuck?” Steve enunciated in perplexed disgust as he turned to face her, arms folded over his chest. “Where is this coming from?”

 

“Logic!”

 

“Y’know, maybe you’re right. Maybe we’re on completely different pages,” Steve continued.

 

“What are you saying?” Natasha seethed.

 

“I’m saying that we’re on COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PAGES!” Steve roared, balling his fists up at his sides.

 

Natasha blinked at him in shock. This was the worst she’d ever argued with Steve and they could argue. They’d fight and sullenly mope but then they’d sort it out and they’d be okay. But the glimmer of regret for the way he had just shouted at her that she should have seen wasn’t there.

 

“Maybe we should take a break,” Natalia said quietly. “We need to use our heads and not let… our emotions run high.”

 

“What the fuck is a ‘break’?” Steve huffed. He brought his hand to the bridge of his nose and pinched against the underlying bone.

 

“I mean we’re still together but we’re just giving each other space so we don’t say or do something to hurt each other,” Natalia explained as she traced the line of the desk’s edge with her forefinger and her gaze.

 

“That’s a dumb idea,” Steve grumbled as he let his head drop back, curling his arms to fold against his chest again.

 

“Well, I can’t do this if I have to deal with fighting you like this. I’ve got too many things going on here Rogers and even I can be spread a little thin so please just spare me a tiny bit from your melodrama,” Natalia responded viciously. She knew this was not how she wanted this to go but she couldn’t let them fall apart over this. She also couldn’t let him think she was being fickle and letting him go. Her fucked up ex-husband had called her cold when she was anything but- she just knew how to section off parts of her whole so she could get the job done in order for them to see another day safely.

 

“Did you even think to ask why I’m being so ‘melodramatic’?” Steve enquired acerbically. He put his hands on his hips and jutted his chin in that stance that reminded her more of Loki’s sardonic nature than her usual Steve. “Well, guess fucking what? Peggy Carter just died and excuse me a fucking minute if I need a moment to process that after everything!”

 

The silence that followed was deafening for Natalia, not because her senses were suddenly deprived of the previous cacophony, but because the blood in her arteries rushed around conflicted about where to go. There was the pit of guilt that just opened up in her stomach, the tense muscles wanting to sock Steve’s teeth out in outrage, the constriction around her shoulders sympathising with his pain and the jagged stabbing in her heart.

 

He just lost Peggy. She was his… She was the woman Natalia would never be able to compete against because they were never in the same race. And yet, here she fucking was with his- no- with _their_ Bean inside of her doing her best to keep the little dot safe even though every single bloody odd was against her. She couldn’t even do her job anymore without paranoid distraction over the efficacy of her Kevlar and pondering why she had been on the team for so long and yet she still did not have a suit with some vibranium woven into it!

 

“That’s what the call you took was about,” Natalia stated quietly after she regained control of her breathing.

 

“Yes,” he answered angrily.

 

Hesitantly, she stepped forward. She didn’t know what to do except mumble, “I’m sorry.”

 

Natalia’s arms reached forward for him, wanting and needing to hold him; but she drew back instantly, resting her hands on her hips instead. She could see Steve tense in front of her- well, she saw his torso, she couldn’t look up at his face right then. There was a stubborn bit of moisture that refused to remain within the confines of her tear ducts.

 

“Ah Jesus, Mary and Joseph,” Steve groaned before pulling her into a crushing embrace. She felt him kiss the top of her head and inhale the scent as he nuzzled against her hair. “I’m being a real shit, ain’t I?”

 

Natalia nodded. She glanced up at him with a weak smile. “I’m being terrible too.”

 

Steve didn’t reply to that. He just caressed her jaw and kissed her brow before kissing her left eyelid and resting his forehead against hers.

 

“Are we still going on a break?” Steve whispered.

 

“We have to,” Natalia answered, her eyes shut as she savoured the warmth in his arms. “I know, everything- but right now we can’t rip each other apart. Really, we can’t. I’m still here for you though. Just let us get through this. I’ll fix this, I’ll handle this and we’ll figure out the accords and we’ll get back to us, okay?”

 

“Promise?” Steve asked. Natalia’s eyes flew open to find a small smirk on his lips. Promises were a big deal to her. He knew that. They were a big deal to him too.

 

“Yeah, I promise,” Natalia replied. She breathed a chuckle and continued: “Just don’t distract me with histrionics over what I do to get us there.”

 

Steve raised a questioning eyebrow as though he was insulted and Natalia raised an eyebrow of her own knowingly.

 

“You’re the one who gets surly, snippy and starts to target the groin areas of any marks I have,” Natalia reminded him. “For years, Rogers. You’re lucky I’m the founder of your Russian fan club so I’m bound by oath to cover for you, which includes mission reports.”

 

“Yeah, but I’m not the one likely to stab someone in the skull and then submit high quality raunchy manip photos of me to the gay Tumblr sites you subscribe to,” Steve returned.

 

She couldn’t help the smirk he elicited from her. Even when she was hurting, he could still make her smile.

 

“They’d provide the fastest dissemination of the images,” Natalia grinned. “And I wouldn’t do that for this. I’d just make the scenarios for the dudoir calendar you owe me for Christmas weirder.”

 

“Arrggggh,” Steve groaned, rumbling the sound in the back of his throat. “Okay, one more kiss and we’re ‘on a break’. Fuck, twenty-first century relationships are weird.”

 

Before she could reply Steve had pressed his lips to hers with tender, sweet passion.

 

“Okay, let’s make love really quick and then we’ll be ‘on a-’” Steve panted, holding her tight.

 

“Steven!” Natalia reprimanded playfully. She could see the lonely pain behind his flirty expression though.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, my Nat is a bit of a Fujoshi. And personally I am in awe of how fast pics get shared through Gay Tumblr sites. They also have the hottest pics, which I noticed because my Hot Guys Pinterest board pins mostly seem to originate from Gay Tumblr sites.   
> Also, my Steve curses when he’s upset or feeling righteous; but he’s mindful of doing so in public.


	8. A Suit on Casual Fridays (Part 4 A: Last Friday...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I attempt to fix it… Snap, CRACKLE, pop! [Let’s hope this works…]

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Eight

 

A Suit on Casual Fridays (Part 4 A: Last Friday…)

Friday, 6 May 2016

Natalia carefully reapplied her siren red lipstick and fluffed her curls. This wasn’t a mission but her actions were intentional. Honestly, she loved a good red lip. It made her feel powerful and did so in a way that wasn’t really about sexual manipulation. Since she could remember, every powerful woman she had some respect for had worn red lipstick. Perhaps not all the time, but Natalia had gotten a glimpse of the woman wearing that beautiful war paint. Usually it was accompanied by some sort of physical or mental armour that rendered the wearer’s aura invincible even if she died.

 

She also loved her curls- the real ones. Not the curling iron manipulated ones but the big bouncy spirals which she barely ever had the opportunity to let roam fee in the world. She forever had to style her hair for a mission or practicality. It was probably going to be a while before she could wear her hair in its natural state again, so she enjoyed it to the fullest.

 

It certainly helped her objective that her lover had a weakness for red lips and curls. Most heterosexual men born in the same era did. It made her want to giggle at him whenever she noticed how he couldn’t help but fixate on her lips when they were red, even though he tried very much to be surreptitious about it. And they’d both endured enough awkward moments in the past to know that Steve couldn’t stop himself from touching Natalia’s natural red curls.

 

But lipstick and great curl definition were not going to help Natalia that much in the scheme of things that day. She had a list of things to do and she was currently in the middle of that list. She had to video-call Steve. She had to check in with him and make sure he really was safe and unharmed in Wakanda, get a status update on Bucky Barnes, get back to New York to make sure her ass wasn’t about to be on everyone’s wanted lists, restructure her life in the aftermath of everything that could have been resolved if people on all sides had been willing to talk civilly and productively, get Steve’s name cleared and eventually tell Steve about the Bean. Was the Bean still the size of actual beans in general? She knew she had to check up on that.

 

Right then, she had to focus on the video-call and getting them through this mess. Natalia was excellent at clean-up operations. She’d had seventy years of experience in manipulating events to go the best way she could get them to go.

 

So she double-checked the autopilot settings on the console of the ‘off-the-books’ Quinjet she was flying, inhaled deeply and made the connection to Wakanda where she’d pre-arranged with T’Challa for Steve to have access to a secure line.

 

“Hey handsome,” Natalia smirked at her blue-eyed beau.

 

“I kissed Sharon,” Steve immediately blurted out looking as though he’d been holding his breath for some time before.

 

“What?” Natalia said after a beat.

 

“I kissed Sharon,” Steve admitted as he scrunched up his face in a wince. “I kissed Sharon and it was weird and it was wrong. It was weird. It was really weird. Weird, weird, weird, weird, weirdweirdweirdweird- Weird!... I’m sorry.”

 

“What?” Natalia repeated monotonously.

 

“I kissed Sharon and it was weird and wrong,” Steve explained at a slower pace. “Please don’t stab her in the skull because I do have a reason for it even if it was weird and wrong.”

 

“Well what was the ‘weird and wrong’ reason?” Natasha asked neutrally.

 

Steve knitted his brows slightly, reading her in the way only he seemed to be able to do. All awkwardness gone, he clarified: “You know the situation we were in. We needed weapons. I’d already been humouring Agent 13’s attempts at prompting me into flirting with her. I determined that in order to continue receiving her aid in light of the risks presented I would have to provide her with some sort of incentive and reward. You taught me to take advantage of that, though I think I failed miserably. She was looking at me like the last puppy in the store and then… I just told myself to do it and then Sam was applauding me and Bucky was applauding me and I just couldn’t explain that I was…”

 

“Taking advantage of the opportunity that presented itself to secure your future?” Natasha finished off for him. “Because you’re Captain America and you don’t do that?”

 

“Because I’m a guy who doesn’t take advantage of women and their feelings,” Steve huffed. He leaned forward to rest his elbows on the computer station bank he was seated at and ran his hand through his hair. “Nat, you know that I’d never do that to you, right? We’re on a stupid break, but I’d never do that to you. I don’t even know Agent 13. All interaction with her has either been her cover where she lied to me or at work before S.H.I.E.L.D. fell. And she’s Peggy’s niece. For all I know in some alternate universe, she’s _my_ niece. It’s weird.”

 

Natasha watched him calmly for a minute before she replied. “Fine, I forgive you a little bit for all those unnecessary groin attacks on my past marks.”

 

“Meaning?”

 

“I understand. I don’t like it, but I did tell you not to get hysterical over anything I had to do to solve our problems. Also, don’t step on my professional turf. I think that’s weird, and obviously you must suck at it in some way. Agent 13 was unusually smirky about everything when she re-joined our company. She said that ‘shy men were so refreshing’.”

 

“So then I actually pulled it off,” Steve concluded glowingly.

 

“No. I am pissed off at you now, so you did not pull it off. Rogers, just stick to your arena. I don’t do jealousy well. In fact I want to turn this damn plane around and head straight for Wakanda so I can lay some sort of claim to you, even though that’s too primeval. But I do have to go and sort out an alibi so I don’t get arrested for helping you as you should know I would always do.”

 

“I do know that,” Steve mumbled, suitably chastised. “But I do want you to turn your plane around and come here. I miss you and-”

 

“- and you have Sharon-germs,” Natalia quipped. Steve rolled his eyes at her, a habit he had picked up hanging around her. She’d actually told him to implement it into his range so that he’d fit into the era. Steve sighed and slouched his shoulders.

 

“You’re not going to stab her in the skull or anything?” Steve asked cautiously.

 

“Of course not,” Natalia assured him. “She just may or may not contract crabs.”

 

“Natshechka,” Steve chided. All he got for that was a glare. With a nervous note of uncertainty he asked: “My face isn’t going to land up pasted onto raunchy pics, is it?”

 

“I told you I wouldn’t do that. You’re just going to have to make _real_ raunchy pics and your dudoir calendar is going to get really… weird,” Natalia grinned at him in a Cheshire-cat like manner. “I want it for my name day, so your time’s been pushed up, buddy. Anyway, let’s move onto other pressing matters. I’ve sent you a gift. It should be arriving within the next thirty minutes.”

 

“What is it?” Steve enquired cautiously.

 

“A surprise- a good one,” Natalia replied brightly. “I also need a status report on Barnes. It’ll inform my future plans.”

 

“He decided to go back into cryo,” Steve sighed. “He’s himself, but he doesn’t trust his mind. He thinks he might still have triggers and he doesn’t want to put anyone in danger. T’Challa has people working on it. He also lost his arm- the metal one.”

 

“I’m glad you got the ball rolling,” Natalia remarked.

 

“I also sucker-punched him,” Steve admitted. Natalia frowned at him and he explained. “I was jealous even though you told me not to be jealous. It was the past, blah, blah. Yes, I know he only has one arm so it wasn’t fair play but Nat you’re it and I love you so I’m completely justified.”

 

“Yes, but he was the Winter Soldier and he treated me decently. Well, before he was programmed to kill that scientist and I was just collateral,” Natalia reiterated. Red Room Natalia and the Winter Soldier were briefly a secret thing many years ago. This was something she’d recently told Steve about after regaining her memories. He’d taken it way too nonchalantly. “We talked about this Steve- and you’re the only one I’ve talked about this with. That is long over. I liked him, but I love you.”

 

“I know,” Steve murmured. “But it still felt good and Bucky said he completely understood. He also kicked me in the shin for kissing Sharon and I had to explain that and he twisted my ear exactly how Father Douglas used to.”

 

Natalia burst out laughing, prompting Steve into a sheepish chuckle. When she regained her composure a minute later, Natalia was back in her ‘stern-wrangler-mode’.

 

“Now as for you: I need you to stay put unless there is absolutely no other way for you to stay. No secret visits, or missions until we get your name cleared. You’re connected to the Winter Soldier, a known asset of HYDRA. They’re going to amp things up to ‘kill on sight’ if you do anything to provoke them.”

 

“I think Tony might still try to kill me on sight right now,” Steve mused.

 

“Tony is a dick and he’s hurting right now. At this point in his life, he really should be mature enough to see the facts and understand all sides, but he’s Tony. I empathise with him, but he’s making my life a lot harder than it needs to be and I’m angry with him too,” Natalia admitted.

 

“Nat, it’s his parents… but that was the Winter Soldier- a robot they made out of Bucky’s body,” Steve reasoned.

 

“Still, the Avengers are over because of- I know, it’s not his fault. In fact I’m certain that this is a ploy that goes further than Zemo but-” Natalia tried to rationalise.

 

“I know,” Steve agreed.

 

“Steve, I need to go now,” Natalia sighed. “I’m approaching US waters. So just promise me you’ll be rational and think things through like I would. Don’t apply Black Widow techniques, but just think things through.”

 

“Quick question,” Steve piped up, holding his index finger up tentatively. “How is it that Spidey-shit was on your team? And acted like we’d never encountered each other before?”

 

Natalia let out a long groan, before she took a breath to answer him: “Tony had actually taken an interest in his potential after everything. You know how he loves fellow shit-stirrers- especially if they’re young enough for him to influence their methods. Tony also found out the reason for the little brat’s dodgy voyeur behaviour was that he’d been peer-pressured into taking narcotics at a party, and then went out as Spidey-whatever. He says when he came to he had weaved himself a web of wool in a specialty yarn store. He’d also cocooned someone’s pet goat.

 

“But obviously that wasn’t enough, because his best friend dared him to take something else and that’s how we landed up with a law suit and that press debacle. Tony made him write me a written apology, which he also had to read aloud in as convincing a manner as he could manage. I haven’t seen anyone sweat as much in years.”

 

“I wish I could have seen it,” Steve lamented. “And lectured the crap out of him.”

 

“Only you’d relish the opportunity to lecture a kid on taking the moral high ground,” Natalia laughed.

 

“It’s a sickness, I know,” Steve quipped.

 

“Well at least you’ll get some sort of fix seeing that he’d ‘learned his lesson’. I recorded the apology,” Natalia informed him with a smirk. “I’ll send you the video.”

 

“Argh, I want to kiss you so bad right now,” Steve groaned. “Wait, you didn’t say what you’re going to do. What’s your plan?”

 

“I’m trying to retire officially. I can’t be manipulated by whoever is pulling the strings on this. Steve, I’m probably going to have to go deep cover for this- don’t try to find me on a whim. I can’t lose you, okay. I know you’ll want to storm in here and go a little caveman, but it’s for the best.”

 

“But who’ll have your six?” Steve smiled weakly.

 

“I have help,” she replied, returning his smile with a warmer one of her own.

 

“I miss you,” Steve said. “I love you.”

 

“I love and miss you too.” Natalia wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and grinned at him. She did not know what possessed her to carry out her next action. “Oh, and I didn’t want you to hear about this and be confused but I’m pregnant.”

 

Steve laughed, “What?”

 

“We’re pregnant,” Natalia repeated cheerily.

 

“What.”

 

Natalia cut the line connection.

 

 


	9. A Suit on Casual Fridays (Part 4 B: ...Last Friday...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically it’s the next day for me, so I’m posting early. I felt for the table flipping emotions of you guys. 
> 
> Hold on. It gets peanut brittle cracky here.

 

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Nine

 

A Suit on Casual Fridays (Part 4 B: … Last Friday…)

Five minutes later, King T’Challa knocked on the door and entered the private study that Steve had taken Natalia’s call in.

 

“My wife called and said she’ll be arriving soon. I expect she’s bringing your wife along with her,” T’Challa informed Steve.

 

“WHAT?” Steve shrieked hysterically, still sitting at the computer console. T’Challa stepped back in surprise.

 

“Alright, what did you do that has you running for cover?” T’Challa grinned slowly. “Is Natasha that mad?”

 

“Nat’s not my wife,” Steve stated in a pitch higher than he normally used.

 

“Really?” T’Challa enquired disbelievingly. “I truly thought she was. That’s what I deduced from the intel and the internet articles; and I mean, she made all those excuses for you like a long-suffering and exasperated wife. My wife tends to use the same sort of facial expressions. My mistake.”

 

“Well, we are together, but she’s not my wife,” Steve clarified, calming down a little as he did. “I mean, I want to ask her to be my wife but then there’s all of this. Wait, the internet articles have progressed to marrying us off? How- Fuuuuuuuuuuuck! The engagement ring I got her is back at the base. It’s exactly her- do you know how hard it is to find a ring for Natalia? It’s Edwardian and I had to sign a crap load of paperwork to get it in the country. The stone was perfect and I know she’d love it. Oh no! What if she finds it when she goes to clear out? She’ll know. She’s going to freak. She’ll think it’s too soon. But it’s not too soon, it’s too late. I have to-”

 

“You’re rambling,” T’Challa interrupted him.

 

“And she’s pregnant! She’s not supposed to be. She’s not supposed to have a baby in her but she has a baby in her and I made all of this happen and she has A BABY IN HER!” Steve yelled.

 

T’Challa stared at him tensely before he spoke. “I fought a pregnant woman?”

 

“I know!” Steve squawked. “I should punch you but I didn’t know either. She just told me. I’m wanted in 117 countries and I just got told I’m going to be a father.”

 

“I want to punch me and punch you,” T’Challa responded as he slumped onto the sofa. “My wife’s going to kick my arse. What do we need to do to get this situation sorted out?”

 

“I don’t know,” Steve exclaimed. “I’m still freaking out.”

 

Fifteen minutes later, Bucky Barnes had been woken from his cryogenic slumber.

 

“What date is it?” Bucky grunted.

 

“The sixth of May, two thousand and sixteen,” the technician who was standing nearest told him. Bucky turned to face the scientist with a perplexed expression on his face. As his vision cleared, he noted that T’Challa was standing next to the shorthaired woman.

 

“Did something go wrong?” Bucky conjectured.

 

“In a matter of words, yes,” T’Challa told him. “We need your help.”

 

“Where’s Steve?”

 

“We need your help with Steve,” T’Challa elucidated. “He’s having a full-on panic attack and we can’t calm him down with any chemical means because we don’t know how his body will react.”

 

Bucky lugged his lethargic body out of the stasis chamber and dragged himself off to where Steve was, with T’Challa and a medical team escorting him.

 

“Just some background information so you know what you’re dealing with,” T’Challa said as he paused at the door to the private study he had left Steve in. “He just found out he’s going to be a father.”

 

Bucky’s eyes actually bugged out at the information. After a moment where he collected himself, he went in and found Steve sitting cross-legged on the floor with a reflective emergency blanket around his shoulders, hyperventilating as two medics tried to get him to regain control over his breathing. Bucky strode up to Steve and grabbed his left ear for the second time that day and twisted hard. Steve yelled out at the pain and lifted off the ground following Bucky’s still impressive pull.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Bucky scolded. “You got a girl in trouble and you’re not married?”

 

“I know!” Steve retorted. T’Challa discreetly waved his staff out of the room.

 

“You know, huh? Then you know that you’re a dumbass,” Bucky retorted. “What would your mother say?!”

 

“She’d say she’s thankful that Nat’s Russian and probably orthodox and not a protestant,” Steve supplied. Bucky glared at him. “What? My mother said that if I get married the girl I bring home had better be Catholic. If not, she was okay with orthodox as long as she was Russian and not Greek, and if she really had to then she would perhaps accept Anglican but the girl had better be the most amazing girl in the world. You know how my mother was, slipping people pamphlets on Catholicism whenever she could.”

 

“Natalia was raised soviet,” Bucky argued. “Communists back then were atheists!”

 

“But Ivan, her adoptive father was orthodox. Nat told me she arranged his funeral to be so, therefore if she was ever baptised then she was baptised orthodox,” Steve countered.

 

“How are you able to conjure up all that reasoning and yet you forget the most basic rule?” Bucky marvelled exasperatedly. “You wrap it up until you’ve wrapped up the details at the altar!”

 

“I did wrap it… er,” Steve flailed. “… the Red Room? Chemical sterilization as a by-product of their serum?”

 

“Erskine’s serum, you twit,” Bucky countered, letting Steve drop to the ground before taking a seat on the sofa. Bucky glanced up at the Wakandan king and shared a commiserating look with him. “You were going on about how you were so sure this dame was the one earlier and you told me how you almost lost her a while back when she lost so much blood on a mission. You had set up an emergency blood transfusion while you waited for backup to evac you out.”

 

“Yes,” Steve said slowly. He was still breathing heavily, but he had a little more control. He was also shivering slightly.

 

“Steve, do you know why the serum worked on you in particular, and why the Red Room and HYDRA serums only worked on certain subjects?” Bucky asked.

 

“I’m sure it’ll make sense if you tell me, but I’m in the middle of a panic attack right now,” Steve answered him.

 

“Don’t sass me- I may have one arm but I’ll still kick your ass,” Bucky warned. “The only way Erskine’s serum could work was through chance with the technology available back then. His selecting you was chance. Sure they had their patriotic campaign to think about, but even if he didn’t you’d still have been the most likely candidate to have a successful outcome, Steve.”

 

Steve nodded slowly between shudders and Bucky sighed. “It boils down to genetics, Steve. You have something in your DNA chain that the serum could exploit and turn you into the best your DNA could provide. The Red Room and HYDRA had extensive methodical searches for candidates that they hoped would have a similar outcome with their serums. They were lucky finding me. As for Natalia, they’d already screened her and moulded her into what they wanted. It was a huge risk trying out their serum on her, but she had what they noted as biological signs that she could possibly be a successful candidate and they decided to take the risk. It was only decades later that they realised there was a DNA commonality among the successful subjects.”

 

“We’re related,” Steve gasped wide-eyed.

 

“No, you crumb!” Bucky exclaimed. “The commonality stretches across nations and ethnicities. What we have is a mutation. Not a major mutation that makes us stand out like what the world knows as Mutants, but we’re not ordinary. I’m not an expert, but there’s something in our DNA that makes us survive where others wouldn’t. There’s probably a whole lot more, but what’s important here is that you get your head screwed back on right.”

 

“So you’re saying that the super-soldier serum in Steve’s blood is likely to have had an effect on Natasha- Natalia- and possibly reversed her infertility,” T’Challa postulated.

 

“Yes,” Bucky confirmed. “They also only ever sterilised the agents by tying their tubes. It would have taken too long to have them recover after a hysterectomy- especially in the old days and it was highly likely that they might lose an operative that way that they’d spent so much effort and time in creating and who’d made it to graduation. They probably felt secure with the side effects of their serum too.”

 

“You know, her scar was healing. She did say she thought the serum in my blood had an effect on her. She also said that we needed to talk about the future… and then we had that big fight and I was a dickhead and then we were on a break and now I’m not supposed to go anywhere because she’ll get mad and I’m on the run but I’m going to be a father!” Steve rattled on.

 

“Steven Grant Rogers!” Bucky scolded as he smacked the back of his best friend’s head. “Get a hold of yourself. We will work this out.”

 

“Sorry to interrupt, but how is this super-soldier serum able to stay present in your blood and tissue?” T’Challa questioned. “It’s always bugged me. Theoretically, shouldn’t the foreign element, the serum, have been processed and excreted as waste by now? You’ve had it in your system for about a decade of your awakened life. Unless, the serum is actually some sort of engineered virus. Because if it is a serum, and not a virus, wouldn’t its purpose be to change your DNA or ‘switch it on to its full potential’ then leave the system having changed it for the better? What would the point be of creating a super-soldier whose power you could literally drain from him? Erskine did not seem like the kind of scientist who would have that as his objective no matter what kind of pressure from outside forces he was under- or at least that’s what I deduced from my own personal research on him.”

 

Steve and Bucky blinked at T’Challa blankly.

 

“We sucked at natural sciences in school, and that was before they started teaching all of the discoveries made in the twentieth century. What I know I picked up from listening to the people around me over the years,” Bucky explained.

 

“Me too. It still freaks me out a little bit to know all the potential in my blood so the last analysis that was made on it was done by Dr Bruce Banner and I told him not to tell me anything about it unless it would affect my work badly,” Steve admitted. “So I basically don’t know.”

 

“It’s probably something you two should both make more of an effort to understand. Anyway, I just got a message from my wife saying that she’s about to land,” T’Challa announced, looking up from his phone.

 

********

 

Ororo Munroe, T’Challa’s wife, the Queen of Wakanda also known as Storm of the X-Men, alighted the Blackbird with ease and a grin matched by that of her husband’s as he watched from the edge of the landing pad. Next to him, a tall man with shaggy brown hair whom she’d once believed to be her father-in-law’s murderer stood. His solitary hand rested on the shoulder of the familiar, though somewhat dishevelled form of the former Captain America who was draped in a blue and silver metallic emergency blanket.

 

The joy at seeing her husband safe and sound despite his hasty actions, spurred her into racing to meet him. She did not wait for the ramp to descend fully to the tarmac, and instead manipulated the wind to carry her off into his arms so that she could kiss him soundly.

 

“You never listen to me and I always have to bail you out of trouble,” Ororo murmured before sliding down T’Challa’s body to stand on firm ground.

 

“Dearest, this is Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers,” T’Challa introduced. “Bucky and Steve, this is my wife: Ororo, Queen of Wakanda.”

 

Steve looked horrifically awkward; his blanket made a crinkling noise whenever he moved and he looked as though he wanted to try to bow at her, but was stopped by Bucky’s hand on his shoulder.

 

“Forgive my friend, Your Majesty,” Bucky excused. “He’s having a really rough day and received some alarming news.”

 

“Call me Ororo, please. This isn’t court,” Ororo smiled warmly. “And if this is him now, you might want to prop him up.”

 

Storm gestured back at the Blackbird with a nod of her head where the ramp had finished descending and the passengers were disembarking. James Howlett, or Logan as he was now known as, strode out, his hand on Clint Barton’s shoulder. Scott Lang, Professor Xavier, Jean Grey and Sam Wilson followed.

 

“Your girlfriend wanted to surprise you,” Ororo laughed at Steve’s astounded expression, which quickly melted into joy.

 

“We were trying to figure out how to get ourselves out before you inevitably came, but then Nat just beat us all to it,” Clint laughed as he came in for a bro-hug. He extended another to Bucky.

 

“How’s Laura and the kids?” Steve asked eagerly.

 

“They’re on their way here right now. Nat got them smuggled out before the authorities could act,” Clint explained.

 

“James,” Bucky greeted Logan with a smile.

 

“James,” Logan smiled back. A thumping bro-hug ensued before more thumping bro-hugs were exchanged between Logan and Steve, and Logan and T’Challa.

 

“Your dame hit us up to call in a favour,” Logan explained. “Though, I dare say we’d have done it anyway.”

 

“Thanks,” Steve said. “You know you’re still the big brother of this bunch of rabble-rousers.”

 

“Obviously,” Logan chuckled. “The new recruits are hilarious.” Logan indicated Scott with his eyes. The dark-haired man talked a mile a minute to the bald professor, stopping only to awkwardly bow to T’Challa.

 

“By the way, why are you dressed as a packet of Doritos?” Logan asked, looking Steve up and down.

 

“That’s info of secondary importance,” Sam interjected as he stepped up to his friend. “What I wanna know is why you didn’t tell me that you and Nat were a thing?”

 

Sam was plainly upset about it and folded his arms across his chest as he stood in front of Steve expectantly.

 

“I actually thought you knew,” Steve answered. “Then Nat and I were on a stupid break and all of this happened and then you were like ‘woohoo’ about Sharon and-”

 

“Which reminds me,” Sam interrupted, “you and I have to re-watch a certain season of ‘Friends’!”

 

“I was pulling a Black Widow!” Steve griped.

 

“But you suck at that,” Sam stated bluntly.

 

“I know.”

 

“Still, I was literally the only one in there besides Scott who didn’t know you were together,” Sam continued. “Nat rescues us and we’re on this bird and Wolverine’s like ‘I now totally believe the “Murphy likes to ruin Friday date-nights” theory you and Steve have’ and she grins at him and is like ‘Team Romanogers is always right, but we’re also strong enough to pull through this b.s.’, and then Wolverine laughs and says ‘Romanogers? Steve is wrapped around your little finger, isn’t he?’, and she says ‘It’s a media moniker, but it’s cute’. And then everybody is like ‘yeah, it is’. And I’m like ‘hehe, he, hehe, he, am I missing something here?’”

 

“Hey, I was fooled too,” Bucky comforted Sam, placing his hand on his shoulder. “But then again, I was separated from him and dealing with my own guilt and paranoia about being recaptured.”

 

“Yeah, there are a lot of forums dedicated to providing evidence that the Black Widow and Captain America are a couple,” Scott butted in. “Some of them are kooky conspiracy theories but most of them are people rooting them on. I’m a platinum member of my local CapWidow Fan Club chapter.”

 

Sam scowled at the dark-haired man, eliciting a nervous chuckle from him.

 

“As, um, interesting as that is, Scott, I really think we should heed our manners and get introductions over with?” Steve suggested.

 

“Mr Rogers, Mr Barnes,” a woman with dark red hair greeted as she held out her hand. “I’m Jean Grey. Miss Romanov asked me to meet with you. She believes that my telepathic powers, along with those of my colleague, Professor Xavier, can help with Mr Barnes’ deprogramming. I look forward to providing any assistance you may need.”

 

Steve glanced at Logan, having noticed the gold band on Jean Grey’s left hand and now understood what his friend had alluded to about the impossibility of his situation a few weeks ago. Logan responded with a resigned ‘shrug’ of his thick eyebrows.

 

“I still believe we’re missing someone,” Steve said as he noticed that the Professor was talking to T’Challa. “Where’s Wanda?”

 

“Right here, Pops,” the familiar voice of the Scarlet Witch said from a few feet away. Steve broke into a grin when he saw her and then faltered. Just behind a red-eyed Wanda, a stoic Pietro Maximoff stood on the ramp of the Blackbird.

 

“Pietro,” Steve gasped as his knees buckled. T’Challa and Bucky moved to support him, but Steve recovered his stance despite the alarmed regard of his assembled friends.

 

“Hey, I didn’t know he was one of yours,” Logan quickly assured Steve.

 

“We found Pietro in the aftermath of Sokovia. It took us a long while to recover his memory,” Professor X spoke up, looking Steve in the eye earnestly from his hovering chair. “I’m Charles Xavier, of the X-Men. Pietro’s been recovering at my school for gifted youngsters.”

 

“Surprise! We’re Mutants,” Wanda chimed with a dry smirk- one that had obviously been Natasha-influenced. Her brother strode up cautiously beside her.

 

“Oh, revelations about Mutant DNA are not about to shock me. Not today,” Steve smiled as he hugged her, his blanket scrunching loudly as he did so.

 

“Yeah, you’re gonna be a dad to twins,” Wanda chuckled.

 

“Twins- what?” Steve blurted flatly.

 

“What!” Bucky exclaimed.

 

“Two? Really?” Logan mused.

 

“What?!” Sam yelled. “You and Nat are having a child thing- two child things?”

 

“Medic,” T’Challa called. “We’re probably going to need to get him on fluids.”

 

“Jean, catch him,” Professor X instructed just as Steve fainted.

 

@>-`-,----

 

Natalia stood fuming in the space between the walls of the UN building in New York, just behind a toilet stall waiting for her relay companion. She wondered if the public would find it amusing to know that spies could sneak in and out of the establishment through the restrooms like it was a Harry Potter book. To activate the sliding door, the toilet had to be flushed after adjusting the handle in a similar fashion to the way one would break into an old safe. The old-school spies knew of this entryway, but the younger generations seemed to have yet to find them- unless they were of the few that were very well-trained.

 

But that was just a passing chain of thought in her blazing mind. She was still angry.

 

She wanted to throttle Steve for his stupid stunt. Even if she tried to see it as a badly executed form of flattery by emulation, it was still a stupid stunt. The girl’s aunt had just been buried the day before the incident- if Sharon was sensible then she’d realise that Steve was at best using her as a weird surrogate for her dead aunt and that was just creepy.  

 

Besides, Steve should have known that it was Natalia who sent him their gear. There was no way that she could get it to him personally because they were watching her. She instructed Sharon to retrieve the gear and get it to him and orchestrated the whole operation so that they really only had their eyes on Natasha while Sharon was missing in action. These new agents were so loud and flat-footed, you could hear them galumphing about for miles.

 

Just then, Natalia heard some galumphing. She estimated that it stopped thirteen feet away from her. Ten seconds later she was looking at her silent doppelganger standing in the light of a closed restroom stall. The doors reached to the floor, so her companion’s activities wouldn’t be seen. Solemnly she signed a greeting to Victoria, who had assumed Natalia’s form with an illusion mask. Victoria hugged her back.

 

‘Is it blondie looking after me?’ Natalia signed wryly.

 

‘Agent 13? Yes,’ Vicky signed back with a smirk. ‘I’m blonde too.’

 

‘She kissed my boyfriend.’

 

Victoria stared at Natalia blankly and then nodded. ‘I’ll go lace her towelling and underwear with crabs.’

 

The two agents exchanged places and Victoria handed Natalia her handbag. Natalia rummaged through the contents and pulled out a water bottle.

 

‘Is this water safe?’ Natalia asked.

 

‘Yes,’ Vicky answered. Natalia took a sip before she splashed some into the loo with an accompanying retching noise. She recapped the bottle and put it back in her handbag.

 

“Natasha?” Sharon’s voice called out. “Are you okay?”

 

Natalia waited a moment before she answered. “Yeah, I’ll be alright.”

 

Natalia kissed Victoria goodbye on the cheek and slid the spy door closed silently. She knew Vicky was still listening, and that the long-time professional would keep her reactions undetectable. She flushed the chain normally and straightened the skirt of her black suit before she opened the door and stepped out.

 

Natasha walked up to the sink and pretended to ignore Sharon’s concerned gaze. Natasha washed her hands, took out the water bottle again and rinsed her mouth before putting it back in her bag. She sprinkled some water from the faucet at her pulse points on her neck and gazed wearily at her own reflection.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sharon enquired warily.

 

“It’s just morning sickness- well, all-day sickness,” Natasha informed her.

 

“Oh,” Sharon blinked. “Um, congratulations.”

 

“Thanks,” Natasha replied offhandedly. “I didn’t think it was possible, but hey, that’s science for ya.”

 

“It’s amazing, isn’t it,” Sharon mused. “You don’t need a check-up after everything?” Natasha was supposed to have been under surveillance and escorted from Berlin to New York by agents. She’d exchanged places with Vicky in the restroom of the airplane she was meant to cross back over the pond with. Natasha was not supposed to have left the presence of Agent 13 in all that time and consequently would not have had the opportunity to seek out private medical care. At least blondie was decent enough to ask if Natasha thought she needed anything. Most would either not care or call into question her ability to judge her own needs.

 

“Nope, I’m alright. I took the best measures I could,” Natalia answered. She continued with a smirk: “And my cargo is made of strong stuff: 6’2”, blond, strong, handsome, artistic, polite, kind, cunning, adorkable. Religious upbringing. Military stock.”

 

Natalia watched from the corner of her eye as Sharon followed that trail of crumbs and tried to hide her reaction to her conclusions. Her reaction was too neutral. The woman wouldn’t have lived through the first round of espionage testing in the Red Room. But being so was also a privilege.

 

“A good choice,” Sharon assented civilly.

 

“My heart’s choice,” Natalia smiled gently. She quickly fluffed her hair and strode out of the restroom with Sharon behind her, heading towards the closed secret session of the Security Council.

 

Just as she expected, her favourite person of the year, Thaddeus Ross, was to lead the inquiry into her activities. It was like Capitol Hill all over again, except there were no reporters and essentially that meant there was no watchdog known as ‘The Public’ to temper the questions posed by the council. But instead of feeling trapped, Natasha decided that her circumstances were freeing.

 

She already knew how to beat the truth-detecting devices she was being hooked up to. After seventy years selling stories when she had to, Natasha could regulate her body’s reactions to fluctuate the same as a normal person’s would under the most strenuous circumstances. She constantly updated her skills in this field, and at that moment she was glad she had taken time to train herself when she had decided to continue her pregnancy. She’d done her homework, revised extensively, and now she was ready for her exam.

 

“Answer the following test questions affirmatively,” Secretary of State Ross instructed after Agent 13 had finished attaching equipment to Natasha connecting her to their latest lie-detector and took up her guard post at the corner of the room. He looked up at Natasha from behind his horn-rimmed spectacles with a grim expression. “Are you a woman?”

 

“Yes.” The truth.

 

“You don’t know how to use a gun?”

 

“Yes.” An absolute falsehood.

 

“Is Pluto a planet?” A conflicted answer with many possible outcomes depending on your beliefs.

 

“Yes,” Natasha answered, having given them the basic range to measure the veracity of her answers.

 

“State your name for the record,” Ross drawled.

 

“Natalia Alianovna Romanova,” Natasha answered calmly.

 

“Natalia Alianovna Romanova?” Ross questioned with a smirk. “Your name is listed as Natasha Romanoff. Why is it that you’ve lied about the most basic piece of information?”

 

“Officially, on American records my name is Natasha Romanoff,” Natasha explained. “However the name I was born to, as far as I know, was Natalia Alianovna Romanova. I adopted my anglicised name to assimilate into my new country and help my colleagues feel more comfortable with pronouncing my name.”

 

“Lulling them into a sense of security,” Ross interjected.

 

“No, just helping them with an everyday task so that they may concentrate on the work at hand instead of wondering if they were offending me with a slight mispronunciation. Many immigrants from Non-English speaking countries practice the same form of adaptability to assimilate into their new home nations.”

 

“Adaptability,” Ross huffed to himself. Natasha remained silent, watching him. She could still read the expressions of the rest of the council in her scope. Among them was Wakanda’s delegate, who no doubt had her own instructions on how to proceed.

 

“I’m a former military man, so I’m going to cut to the chase, Miss Romanova,” Ross continued. “You signed the Sokovia Accords, yet you intentionally let two suspects go: Steven Rogers and James Barnes- both are known to be highly dangerous individuals and are wanted by the International Criminal Court. Barnes for hundreds of charges, and Steven Rogers for aiding and abetting this criminal. And then you attacked a head of state, King T’Challa of Wakanda. What are your reasons for acting thus?”

 

“My actions followed the path of my best option, Secretary Ross,” Natasha answered easily.

 

“Your best option? Best option at what?”

 

“Survival.”

 

“As an Avenger, sworn to protect the Earth and its citizens with the possible risk of having to lay down your life in the line of duty, and having just recently signed the Sokovia Accords; how do you align the expectations you have sworn to and the actions that you took? By allowing the passage of Rogers and Barnes, you’ve allowed the potential for future crimes against humanity and denied the possibility for justice to be served on behalf of former victims of crimes perpetrated by Barnes operating under the moniker ‘The Winter Soldier’, or rather, their surviving families.”

 

“I was protecting a human life, possibly lives,” Natasha replied earnestly. “The lives of my unborn children, Secretary Ross.”

 

Ross and a few other council members began to laugh at her response, but when Natasha’s expression remained steadfast and they received a few glares from other council members they stopped. Ross frowned at the redhead in front of him.

 

“Your unborn children? Clarify,” Ross demanded.

 

“Secretary Ross, even though it’s not customary to reveal this information at such an early date, I must confirm to you that I am nine weeks pregnant,” Natasha expounded. “I made a tactical decision in battle against Rogers and Barnes: Facing them both in hand-to-hand combat would have most likely have led to a miscarriage. I decided to rely on my team mates to pursue the suspects.”

 

“Very well, Miss Romanova,” Ross said with a wry countenance on his face. “If that’s your reasoning, then why is it that you proceeded to attack King T’Challa?”

 

“I subdued King T’Challa because at that moment he would not have listened to reason, being caught up in bloodlust for revenge for the deaths of his father and countrymen. If he engaged in combat with Rogers and Barnes within the hangar, Barnes would have opened fire. The situation would most likely have resulted in the death of Wakanda’s head of state, as well as my unborn. I made use of my Widow’s Bite weaponry so as to subdue King T’Challa as quickly as possible with the least potential for grievous injury to all parties. I trusted in my team mates to pursue Rogers and Barnes aerially. Unfortunately, tactical errors were made in that pursuit which resulted in Rhodes’ injury.”

 

“Miss Romanova,” Ross began again. “I have here data that states you have been medically sterilised. How then is it possible that you are pregnant?”

 

“The miracle of modern science, Secretary Ross,” Natasha retorted. She smiled at him. “My first agency mandated sterilisation of all their agents. However, this was done chemically and through what is commonly known as ‘tying one’s tubes’. Incisions were made to sever my fallopian tubes, making it impossible for ovum and sperm to meet within my body. Fortunately, hysterectomy was not selected as the means of sterilisation. Consequently I was able to undergo in vitro fertilisation, with the aid of a clinic and donor sperm and ova. I have all the documentation pertaining to this matter.”

 

“All of which can be fabricated,” Ross countered. “If you were so keen on protecting your unborn, why Miss Romanova, did you elect to engage in heavy battle situations for the past nine weeks?

 

“Secretary Ross, I was under the impression that the pregnancy did not take. My first pregnancy test had been negative. But I began to have symptoms similar to morning sickness and I took another test to check and found the results to be positive. I confirmed the matter with a doctor soon after,” Natasha lied smoothly.

 

“Are you sure it’s your donor embryos and not the offspring of some mark of yours,” Ross sneered. “My daughter is a professor of cellular biology and I’m familiar with the fact that sterilisation can sometimes heal itself.”

 

Ross received a few alarmed glances for the audacity of his suppositions.

 

“Mr Ross,” Natasha replied through gritted teeth, as she allowed her body’s reactions to spike enough to match the ire she displayed, “seduction may be one of the tools I employ in my line of work, but the last time I engaged in sexual congress with a mark was five years ago. The target tried to angry dragon me and I felt that after spending my whole life having my body used to gain information for the political games of shadowy state entities, enough was enough. I stabbed him in the scrotum and adjusted the profile of missions I would accept. I’m sure my poor dead parents would not have wanted the life I was obliged to lead for their daughter.”

 

Natasha flicked her glance to the Russian delegate, whom she happened to be older than, but who looked old enough to be her father. As expected of a Russian, his poker face was flawlessly blank. But his left little finger curled, and having studied the delegate in the past, Natasha knew the man was repressing a snigger at his counterpart.

 

“What of your rumoured romance with the fugitive Steven Rogers?” Ross shot at her.

 

“Last month the internet was ablaze with gossip that the British Royal family had commissioned genetically engineered dinosaurs as pets after a clever meme with a well-posed picture taken in the British Museum of Natural History surfaced,” Natasha reminded the council. “Rogers merely tried to persuade a teenage peeping tom pervert from attempting to sue me for copyright infringement. The suit he had filed, and his previous unseemly behaviour towards me- no doubt influenced by misogynistic views on my profession- had been done under the influence of narcotics. Unfortunately a recording of the well-meant intervention was uploaded onto the internet and the public went on to speculate. Yet, you signed off on this boy’s inclusion on a dangerous mission on behalf of the entire world, Secretary Ross. It was a school night too.”

 

“Very well then, Miss Romanova,” Secretary Ross harrumphed. “We still need to check the veracity of your claims, due to the nature of your occupation. Will you submit to testing?”

 

“I will submit to no more than a sonogram,” Natasha answered. “My unborn is not to be the subject of experimentation.”

 

“No one implied that, Miss Romanova,” Ross drawled.

 

“Still, I’m familiar with the practices of many government agencies around the world that would see it as their right to follow such a line of enquiry after a blanket agreement,” Natasha reasoned. “I would also like to state that my agreement to a sonogram is conditional.”

 

“What is it that you want, Romanova?” Ross sighed. “Perhaps we can consider it.”

 

“I would like to put into effect my immediate resignation from the Avengers team,” Natasha stated. “This line of work is not conducive to creating the family I now have.”

 

“Agreed,” Secretary of State Ross said through clenched teeth.

 

“I’d also like it noted for the record that the last time I had to do anything near as dehumanising as this i.e. having my claim of pregnancy investigated, I was still beholden to a Soviet Russian program that subjected captive young girls to the entire spectrum of abuse. Where is the ICC on that case?”

 

Natasha allowed Agent 13 to unhook her from the lie-detector equipment. The blonde woman’s face was blank, but the glint in her eye as they locked gazes was of amusement and admiration. She obviously knew what it took to pull off what Natasha had just done so easily. Perhaps Natalia would tell Vicky to hold off on that crabs infestation.

 

@>-`-,----

 

“I can’t believe how ‘catholic’ my reaction was,” Bucky mumbled as he leaned against the bar that he, Clint, Sam and Logan had gathered around as they watched a shell-shocked Steve tell the Maximoff twins to slow down their Sokovian prattle so he could use his knowledge of Russian to try and follow. “It’s like the old saying ‘give me a child for seven years and I’ll give you a catholic for life’ is true. I mean, I was a HYDRA machine for seventy years.”

 

“I still can’t believe I did not know Steve and Nat are a couple,” Sam griped next to him. “I thought he had a thing for her, but he never seemed to be able to make a move. And well with Natasha, you never know. The whole Bruce romance thing definitely threw me for a loop. Do you know how many smarmy smirks I had to pull off just so that Steve would admit he was interested in Nat? Two years’ worth, man. Then he was all back to silent moping. I thought he’d finally gotten over her when he put the moves on Sharon.”

 

“You know that I’m going to bet against you for everything right?” Clint chuckled. “It was so obvious they’d hook up.”

 

“Red is a weakness for Steve,” Bucky mused. “Red dresses, red shoes, red lipstick, red hair- Heck, the girl Steve was goin’ steady with before he decided to make a real go of it with Peggy was a redhead. Betty Ross was her name. Natalia’s a smart redhead, who kicks butt and knows how to use red. It was inevitable that they’d hook up.” 

 

“Hey, I ran into them once a couple of weeks ago in Brooklyn and I knew right away they were a thing,” Logan agreed.

 

“Well according to you, they were on an obvious date,” Sam retorted. “I’m not a spy. Such information was not presented to me. All I got was two crazy fitness freaks who liked to wake everybody else up to train before the sun rose and then subject us to even more training and sparring after a carb-free breakfast. I haven’t had a pop-tart in over a year, man! A year!”

 

“The information wasn’t presented to you, huh?” Clint questioned. “Tell me then, do you remember what Nat and Steve’s Halloween costumes were last year?”

 

“Yeah, um, Nat was Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Steve was… Edward Cullen,” Sam recalled, his face falling as he realised the significance of that.

 

“Edward Cullen,” Logan snorted. “I have to see a picture of that! I’ve spent a whole couple of years confiscating books, DVDs, laptops and tablets because of that story. I’ve broken up ship wars that got physical between students at school. Steve as Edward Cullen…”

 

“Even I know how whipped he had to be to dress up as that character,” Bucky sniggered. “Really, please say there’re pictures.”

 

“Of course. I had to document that amount of glitter on a grown heterosexual man who is on the other side of the spectrum when it comes to ‘campness’ and has to physically be restrained from wearing grandpa trousers and also happens to be a national icon,” Clint replied with a smirk.

 

“What’s this about glitter?” T’Challa asked as he returned to the room after making arrangements for his guests. He strolled over to the bar and poured himself a drink.

 

“Nat went as Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Steve went as Edward Cullen for Halloween with glitter all over his bare torso in the icy New York Fall weather,” Clint explained.

 

“This is why I thought they were married,” T’Challa remarked with a frown.

 

“Even someone whom they’d only just met thought they were a couple,” Clint teased Sam.

 

“Yeah, but Steve does basically everything that Nat asks him to. That doesn’t necessarily signify they are together. It could just mean he’s jonesing hard and is stuck in the friendzone, which is what I thought the situation was,” Sam argued.

 

“Except no sane man is going to cover himself in glitter and walk around shirtless at the end of October without the slightest glimmer of a hope that he may stand a chance at getting a blowjob. Natalia’s the best at her profession, but even she couldn’t manipulate Steve into doing that if he really thought he had no chance,” Bucky countered.

 

“And there’s the fact that’s he’s not allowed to go clothes shopping without her,” Clint pointed out.

 

“He’s shopped without Nat in the past year!” Sam claimed.

 

“Have you seen him wearing anything he bought? That was not Dodgers’ merchandise?” Clint asked flatly. While Sam searched his mind for any evidence, Clint continued: “He returned anything that was not Nat-approved. How the hell do you think he suddenly has jeans that don’t look like they are original Levis from the Wild West? Nat chooses his trousers, because she’s looking at his ass. Nat chooses all those ridiculously tight shirts because she likes that he’s ripped. If Nat wanted him to wear one of those weird-ass one sided banana hammock thongs in neon yellow, I’d bet my bow Steve would do it.”

 

“Shut up, you’re gonna give me nightmares!” Steve interjected from across the room. “Nat’s already making me do a dudoir calendar and now as punishment for the whole attempting to use her Black Widow techniques thing she’s gonna make her requests weird.”

 

“Why the hell are you announcing that to the room, man?” Logan laughed.

 

“Because she’s probably gonna rope a few of you in. She’s got enough leverage on everyone here to make them comply,” Steve grumbled. “Besides, I’m not going to go through that in the company of complete strangers.”

 

“I wonder if his apology was like ‘Dollface, I swear blah blah blah- she meant nuthin’ ta me’,” Clint postulated with a grin. He and Sam devolved into giggles, but abruptly stopped when they were met with the glares of the three oldest living weapons in the room.

 

“So did you actually say ‘dollface’?” Logan asked after a pause, the corners of his mouth twitching.

 

“Not this time,” Steve admitted with sheepish wince.  

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On Natalia and Sharon: sometimes we act illogically vindictive when we feel threatened and jealous. Perhaps Natalia will become more reasonable as she cools down. 
> 
> The plot bunny insisted that all of this chapter had to be written down.


	10. A Suit on Casual Fridays (Part 4 C: Last Friday!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Friday has been long hasn’t it?

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter 10

 

A Suit on Casual Fridays (Part 4 C: Last Friday!)

 

Natalia’s heels clicked rhythmically against the floor as she strode towards the doors she would leave the UN Headquarters Building via. The master spy had finished her task there and was eager to move on, attending to other matters on her phone as she walked. A quick text- on her burner phone that was not a Stark phone- to Victoria updated the Briton. Her response was swift.

 

“Agent 13,” Natalia said to the woman who was following three feet behind her. “Unfortunately you’re going to have to burn the contents of your linen closet in your New York apartment. Even ‘shy men’ bring consequences, no matter how ‘refreshing’ they are. Black Widows are territorial. But I’ve decided I like you a little bit, and I also cannot blame well-meaning knuckleheaded parties. Thankfully I was able to halt the infestation and it is limited to your linen closet, so far. An amount to cover the damages has been forwarded to your account.”

 

“Er, thank you,” Sharon Carter replied hesitantly. “My apologies for the misunderstanding on my side. I should have been more observant.”

 

Natalia flashed a grin at her before they headed through the doors and towards the black SUV that was meant to transport Natasha to the Avengers Tower. The vehicle was not waiting where it was supposed to be, but instead was a few cars behind in the queue. A black limo was holding everyone up. Natalia was immediately wary, analysing her surroundings. She tensed as the back window of the limo rolled down. A loud whistling tune issued from the vehicle and a hand poked out to wave.

 

“How are you?” Pepper Potts called as she beamed at Natalia. “Get in here!”

 

Natalia glanced at Sharon, and the blonde nodded. “We’ll follow to the Avengers’ Tower as scheduled.”

 

Agent 13 walked Natalia to Pepper’s limo, before joining the other agents in the black Ford Explorer.

 

“Who’s driving?” Natalia asked immediately.

 

“Hey there, ‘Natalie’,” Happy Hogan grinned from up front before he rolled up the privacy window.

 

“So you got custody of Happy and Tony got Vision,” Natalia smirked as she opened the door. “What flavour was the middle tier of my name day cake last year in Columbia?”

 

“Blueberry, and it was indigo coloured. The other two layers were white vanilla pound cake and we used a Meyer lemon infused Italian buttercream icing. It held up well considering the climate,” Pepper answered shrewdly. “We also drank old-fashioneds and watched the sun rise while you ogled Steve dreamily like a lovelorn teenager.”

 

“Those are genuine Pepper details- you pass,” Natalia approved. “I wasn’t expecting you here. I thought you would still be on the west coast.”

 

“I couldn’t stay away,” Pepper smiled understandingly as she scooted over for Natalia to join her in the backseat. Pepper wore a tailored white pencil skirt suit, which contrasted starkly with Natalia’s black one. Natalia slid in and the car took off. She clapped on an older version of her Widow’s Bracelets that she had in her purse. She had to surrender her current suit and weapons back in Berlin. Wisely she always kept a few spares. Natalia fiddled with the controls and relaxed.

 

“Just jamming any eavesdropping devices,” Natalia explained, before she buckled her seatbelt.

 

“I have my earrings on,” Pepper motioned to her right ear. She was wearing the anti-eavesdropping device earrings that Natalia had given her for Christmas the previous year. They were disguised as a pair of diamond studs and disrupted electronic spy devices within ten feet of the wearer. Pepper wore them to all her most important meetings.    

 

“I’m glad to see they’re of use,” Natalia replied.

 

“How’s the gang?”

 

“Mostly alive,” Natalia sighed. “All of this wouldn’t be this, if they acted like adults in the first place. Things got too emotional and then completely out of control.”

 

“And you’re left to pick up the pieces,” Pepper commiserated. “I shouldn’t have left, huh?”

 

“Pepper, it’s not your job. It’s neither one of us’ job to repeatedly squeak ‘You should be able to beat him by now’ while the males on the Avengers team battle their demons ever so broodingly. You’ve got a demanding profession and already do us a big enough favour by overseeing legal matters,” Natalia assured her.

 

“But Tony’s really bad by himself,” Pepper pointed out. Natalia noted the old traces of guilt in Pepper’s expression that kept knocking her list of demands down whenever Tony smirked at her in just that special way.

 

“He needs to learn to function as a decent person by himself and with others consistently,” Natalia reminded her. “He can’t resort to bullying or any kind of rage motivated behaviour to get his way.”

 

“He’s worse isn’t he?”

 

“He found out that the Winter Soldier assassinated his parents,” Natalia informed her.

 

Pepper stared at Natalia for a whole thirty four seconds. “That’s bad.”

 

“Yes, it was.”

 

“I can’t go back, but I can’t let him…”

 

“I know,” Natalia smiled gently.

 

“How’s Steve?”

 

“He’s either freaking out or he’s freaking out,” Natalia hypothesised.

 

“It was that bad? Or was it something else?” Pepper tried to clarify.

 

‘We’re pregnant,’ Natalia signed in American Sign Language. Pepper’s face lit up immediately. She thrust herself at Natalia and hugged her tightly, before she pulled back and signed back: ‘I’m so happy for you!’

 

‘Good, because you’re my first choice for godmother to one of them,’ Natalia signed. She rolled her lips between her teeth before she admitted: ‘It looks like twins.’

 

Pepper fanned herself with her hands and hugged Natalia again.

 

‘Well, at least there’s something good to look forward to in all of this,’ Pepper signed. She switched over to speaking aloud again and continued, “I suppose this whole mess means you’re changing careers? Are you looking for a new position? Because I could totally arrange something for you.”

 

“I’m going to lay low for a while. Live as simple as Clint or something,” Natalia explained. “It would be the best thing to do given the situation.”

 

“You’re right about that,” a new voice interrupted as the privacy screen rolled down. Happy Hogan’s mouth was moving, but the contortionist feat he pulled to flip over and sit opposite them proved that it was definitely not him. His skin rippled and changed shades, darkening into a distinctive hue.

 

“Hello Natalia,” their smooth voiced companion greeted.

 

“Hello Mystique,” Natalia replied just as calmly.

 

“I’ve always wanted to meet you, but who the fuck is driving right now?!” Pepper demanded through clenched teeth, her eyes wide as her gaze darted from the blue skinned woman in front of her to the empty driver’s seat.

 

“Someone with telekinetic powers,” Mystique answered simply.

 

“And that someone would be?” Natalia nudged. Mystique stared at her before she slowly curled one side of her mouth up into a crooked grin.

 

“Erik, of course.”

 

“Erik… as in Erik Magnus Lehnsherr also known as Magneto?” Pepper confirmed as her voice rose in pitch. Mystique shrugged her shoulders.

 

“Where’s Happy?” Natalia asked.

 

“He’s currently very unhappy with a bout of debilitating food poisoning,” Mystique answered nonchalantly.

 

“Did you have to?” Natalia sighed exasperatedly.

 

“I’m here aren’t I?” Mystique countered. “I owe you and Erik owes me and Happy really should throw out his seven year old supply of tabasco sauce. It is not wine; it does not get better with age.”

 

“This was planned?” Pepper queried with wide eyes, glancing quickly at Natalia before returning her attention to Mystique.

 

“I did not specify this, because I did not know you’d be here, Pepper,” Natalia told her. “Mystique likes to be dramatic.”

 

“Oh come now, _Little Sister_ , you’re every bit as dramatic as I am,” Mystique crooned.

 

“You’re sisters?” Pepper gasped.

 

“There’s a likelihood- a high likelihood- that that is true,” Natalia begrudgingly admitted.

 

“Look at the hair,” Mystique grinned deviously at Pepper, her yellow eyes appearing to almost glow. She suddenly picked out a lock of her red hair and leaned forward, making Pepper jerk back in surprise. “She says it’s the serum that makes it so dark and deep red. The Red Room serum only took her hair darker by a few shades. You should have seen it when she was a kid, so bright. And I’ve observed things, tracked things.”

 

“I’ve collected my own bank of confirming data too,” Natalia assured Pepper.

 

“I’m the pretty sister,” Mystique laughed.

 

“I guess it makes sense. I can’t say anything about DNA, but you both are experts at espionage and I’ve seen Nat do things that you’re rumoured to be capable of too,” Pepper reasoned.

 

“Which is why I wanted to call in my favour,” Natalia announced. “I need you to be me for a little while, Raven.”

 

“So I can take the hit for you?” Mystique sneered.

 

“No, so I can look like I’m getting out of the business. I just need you to set up my new cover life that Secretary of State Ross will be watching. I have plans on being a hermit,” Natalia elucidated. “I need you to buy a ranch in Arizona and move there for me. Just to establish that I’m there.”

 

“And why are we moving to Arizona?” Mystique asked. “I know the Avengers have gone to shit, embarrassing yourself fighting over legislature you shouldn’t even be thinking of signing, but surely that’s an overreaction?”

 

Natalia raised an eyebrow and glared at Mystique. The blue-skinned woman started as an understanding popped into her head. The only reason that creatures like Natalia and Mystique settled for a while was that they had had found something they dearly wanted to protect and enjoy. Mystique knew just what that may be for Natalia.

 

“I’m finally going to be an aunt,” Mystique leered.

 

“And I have it on good authority that there’s a high possibility that they may be as gifted as the rest of their extended family,” Natalia suggested.

 

“Jean and Xavier picked that up? You can’t be much more than two months gone. How very interesting,” Mystique observed.

 

“Wanda too,” Natalia added. “Pietro’s sister.”

 

“Erik might be very interested to know that,” Mystique commented.

 

“I could put in a good word that may lead to the consideration of a meet,” Natalia offered.

 

“‘The consideration of a meet’?” Mystique laughed. “I guess the old bat’ll have to take it.”

 

“You’re older,” Natalia grinned. “I’m just as young as he is.” Natalia noted Pepper’s mouth hanging agape in her periphery. Pepper was already in on it thus far- Natalia knew she could deal.

 

“Consequently, I guess I have to inform you of certain truths which would hopefully lead you to acting in a somewhat wise manner that befits your true age,” Mystique began. “Signing the accords was a bad thing, Little Sister. The accords were just a harbinger of worse things to come.”

 

“Those things being?” Natalia enquired.

 

“My other pursuits have made me privy to the knowledge that a ‘Superhuman Registration Act’ is in the works. You know what that means,” Mystique stated, giving Natalia a meaningful look.

 

“The strings are more transparent than I originally thought,” Natalia noted. “Any idea of who’s behind it?”

 

“We could search the world and I don’t think we would find them,” Mystique postulated.

 

“Are you saying it’s aliens again,” Pepper interjected.

 

Mystique shrugged. She nodded a jerk to her left as the car slowed. “We’re at your Tower.”

 

@>-`-,----

 

Meeting with Mystique certainly gave Natalia a lot to think about as she cleared her Avengers’ Tower apartment of all her valued possessions and quickly boxed up what she knew to be important to Steve. She had to recover their mementos before the distracted authorities seized it all. Luckily, Sam hadn’t moved into his apartment yet and most of his stuff was at the Avengers’ Facility Base. Wanda had also lived solely on base. She did not know what state of mind Tony was in, but F.R.I.D.A.Y. had informed her that he had yet to visit the Tower and base. He had been keeping Rhodey company while he recovered.

 

She only had two boxes to load into her black 2016 Chevy Z06, and was able to make her way back to base before the sun had set. Mentally running through the data that she’d been analysing over the past two years as she plotted her course of action, Natalia was surprised to find an unexpected blue guest in Steve’s bedroom when she walked in.

 

“Kurt?” Natalia called out in surprise at the man who had his hand in Steve’s sock drawer.

 

“Nat, Aunty Nat,” Nightcrawler greeted awkwardly. His arrow-tipped tail flicked slowly from side to side.

 

“Don’t even think about disappearing into a poof of smoke on me,” Natalia instructed sternly. “I just talked to your mother.”

 

“She’s in town?” Kurt winced like a teenager, even though he was an adult man who was a member of the X-men.

 

“I don’t care about family drama. What I care about is why you still have your hand in my boyfriend’s sock drawer and how the fuck you got in. When were you here to see the layout? I know you need to have been to a place before you can teleport there,” Natalia interrogated him.

 

“A few months ago, during Thanksgiving,” Kurt admitted. “It just seemed like a good idea just in case and hey, I landed up needing to.”

 

“Needing to what? Why are you here?” Natalia pressed. She narrowed her eyes at him and crossed her arms. Kurt Wagner groaned and slouched before he trudged towards Steve’s bed and sat on the end, holding out his hand.

 

“I was asked to retrieve this. I’m supposed to courier it via an extra shady courier company,” Kurt admitted. Natalia took what was in Kurt’s hand and sat down. The moment she had and realised what it was that was in her hand, she tensed up.

 

“Put it back!” Natalia said practically throwing the box back at her nephew, who nimbly caught it.

 

“He wants it,” Kurt argued back. “How the hell is he supposed to get it back for himself right now?”

 

Natalia squeaked in exasperation as she fanned herself. She threw her head into her hands and scrunched up her hair before she calmed down and looked back at her nephew.

 

“I don’t even know when next I’ll see him in person,” Natalia exhaled.

 

“He never said anything about you not seeing it,” Kurt told her. “He said he didn’t want you to _find_ it in his sock drawer when you cleared out, but he never said anything specific about you not _seeing_ it.”

 

The pair gazed at each other for a moment before Natalia held out her hand again and Kurt placed the ring box on her palm. Taking a deep steadying breath, Natalia opened the beige leather box.

 

“Edwardian, platinum, filigree design, milgraining detail,” Kurt remarked. “Natural blue sapphire surrounded by a leaf wreath dotted with diamonds, the right size.”

 

“It’s… beautiful,” Natalia whispered.

 

“It’s so-”

 

“-me.”

 

“Yeah, bold but beautifully intricate,” Kurt smiled. He put arm around the redheaded woman beside him and hugged her close. “Not everybody tries to organise a dimension jumping demon-sired Mutant break-in at a secure secret Avengers’ facility just to get the antique engagement ring they obviously spent ages trying to find for the woman they love while they’re in hiding from the law enforcement agencies of the 117 countries that want to arrest them. Oh, yeah, and let’s not forget Interpol too.”

 

“Here,” Natalia said as she closed the box and handed it back to the deep blue male seated next to her.

 

“Say ‘yes’, Natalia,” Kurt whispered with a teasing smirk. He nudged her shoulder with his. “You’re in one of the tightest situations I’ve observed you living through and even I can tell this is the happiest you’ve ever been.”

 

“When the time comes, if it ever comes, I’ll answer with surety,” Natalia replied with a tiny determined smile as she held Kurt’s gaze.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… I guess it’s obvious that my plot bunny has naturally pink, purple and blue marbled fur, green eyes and a tail that a My Little Pony would be jealous of. This bunny also enjoys high paced electronic dance meets garage music. Hehe. 
> 
> Well, the plot bunny says that no one knows who Natalia’s real family are, and no one knows who Mystique’s family is. Mystique has also been around for a very long time, she’s been around since at least the turn of the twentieth century. I can just imagine these two bumping into each other over the years at the most awkward times and leaving each encounter with niggling suspicions.


	11. Saturday Visitation (Part 1: My Ex-what? But Family Forever)

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Eleven

 

Saturday Visitation (Part 1: My Ex-what? But Family Forever)

 

Saturday, 7 May 2016

Natalia inhaled a deep, steadying breath as she stood in the stationary elevator of the Stark Medical Facility. The doors were already open and she knew that F.R.I.D.A.Y. was probably collecting and analysing data on her to send to Tony, who would no doubt be itching for a fight. But she was there for a reason: for her friend and colleague, whom she might not ever get a chance to speak to again depending on how coming events played out.

 

She checked her appearance in the reflection off the control panel. Black tailored slacks cinched in at the waist and a cream embroidered silk blouse were appropriate enough. Giving herself a mental nod, she forged ahead towards her intended destination, switching on her anti-eavesdropping settings on her Widow’s Bracelets as she did.

 

“The existence of the Avengers as a team hangs in the balance and you still wake up this early?” Rhodey commented with a warm wide grin from his hospital bed as Natalia stood in the doorway.

 

“Hey, James,” she greeted hesitantly. “You know me: come rain or shine or Siberian winter, I’m going to be wide awake by five.”

 

“Come on in,” James Rhodes invited her, patting a spot on his bed next to his leg. “Lurking in doorways is too angsty for anyone over twenty three who is not on a soap opera.”

 

Natalia took a seat on the chair next to his bed, where she supposed Tony must have spent the last while sitting.

 

“Tony’s gone home to sleep. I made him,” Rhodey informed her.

 

“I know,” Natalia murmured as she kept her gaze on Rhodes’ hands.

 

“Of course you do,” he chuckled.  Natalia smiled at the sound of his laugh and looked up to meet his gaze.

 

“How are you?” Natalia asked attentively.

 

“I’m waiting to crash,” Rhodey admitted as he scrunched up his mouth contemplatively. “I crashed and that’s why I’m here, but I’m waiting to crash emotionally. I’ve been optimistic, but we all know that’s not going to last. I’m waiting to crash, because I want that over and done with so I can keep moving on with my life.”

 

“ _They’re_ sorry,” Natalia told him. “Everyone. They want to be here. Steve has a burner and I know he’ll call. I’ve got one for you too. You know that he’ll call, right?” She handed over a gift bag that she’d fished out of her handbag.

 

“Yeah, he should call before I crash. Or after,” Rhodes mused. He inhaled and sighed deeply. “We were all fooled by one little shit. All of us. We did the right thing and Zemo still fooled us.”

 

“I don’t think it’s him that’s the final boss on this,” Natalia remarked.

 

“That’s even worse,” he replied. “So we’ve got to have our eyes and ears open and clear of crust and wax.”

 

“Pretty much.”

 

“So what else is in the bag?” Rhodes asked.

 

“Choc-chip blondies and some books,” Natalia said cheerily.

 

“Is your super-power gauging what people are craving?” Rhodey groaned as he pulled out the pastel-coloured pastry box and sniffed at the scent of fresh baked blondies.

 

“No, my power is being the best,” Natalia smirked. “Just the best.”

 

“That you are,” Rhodey laughed, as he placed the box on his side tray, and packed out the books Natalia had brought for him. “You know I heard that you had a really interesting meeting at the UN yesterday. The security feed was so encrypted that Tony said he’d actually have to use all of his concentration to hack it.”

 

“Yes, well, I was being brought to book about my actions or lack thereof during the latter part of the operation,” Natalia expounded. Rhodey raised an eyebrow expectantly at her. “I said he could trust me when the time came. I told him years ago… And if you can’t trust the mother of your future children, then?”

 

Rhodey blinked before he grinned slow and wide. “You and Steve. Tony so owes me! Sweetest hundred bucks I ever made.”

 

Natasha snorted in amusement, reaching over to squeeze Rhodey’s hand. “I’m getting out of this game, James. Somebody’s playing rough with the Avengers and the world like playschool toys. I’ve got to step back and figure out my own moves, before we’re all shown a royal flush.”

 

“You’ve got something really important to take care of,” Rhodey nudged, gesturing at her abdomen.

 

“Two,” Natalia revealed.

 

“When it rains it pours,” Rhodey commented.

 

“Cows and pigs, never mind cats and dogs,” Natalia quipped.

 

“Well, we’re Avengers. We don’t do small measures. We’re still Avengers even if we don’t wear the team logo,” James Rhodes assured her.

 

“We are,” Natalia agreed. “I want you to know James, that one of these little Beans inside me is going to carry the name ‘James’, regardless of gender. I know a few Jameses and no matter what their ideology is, the one thing they have in common is a truly good heart at their core.”

 

“That… means a lot to me, Natasha,” James Rhodes breathed. He inhaled shakily. “I know what it takes to be someone in your trust.”

 

“You’re there,” Natalia assured him. “You’re family. The Avengers will always be family, even if we’re not together. So you can call me ‘Natalia’.”

 

“Natalia,” Rhodey smiled, squeezing Nat’s hand.

 

“Mr Rhodes, please be informed that Mr Stark is approaching. He is in the building lobby,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. interrupted.

 

“Thanks for the heads up,” Rhodey said to the AI. He turned his attention back to Natalia and continued. “I know you don’t need it, but I asked if we could get a warning just in case. Tony’s still smarting.”

 

“It’s understandable,” Natalia observed, “yet also infuriating. I guess this is goodbye for now then?”

 

“Goodbye for now,” Rhodey bade as Natalia got up and hugged him tight.

 

“Mr Stark has entered the elevator and is selecting the floor he’d like to travel to,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. updated them. Natalia gave Rhodey’s hand one last squeeze before she left.  She’d just reached the end of the corridor and was about to leave via the fire exit doors, when she heard the quick patter of a jogging gait and the loud pant of Tony Stark as he rushed to catch up with her.

 

“I thought you said I should watch my back. Looks like you’re the one who should be watching yours, _Natalie_ ,” Tony announced from behind her. When she turned she saw that his goatee wasn’t as sharp as usual and that his shirt buttons were matched incorrectly. He also had two different shades of blue socks on.

 

Annoyed at his tone, and struggling to tamp down her frustration with his actions Natalia immediately retorted: “T’Challa just lost his father who he loved and yet he’s taking it better than you. He could see sense.”

 

“Well, Steve’s best friend did not kill T’Challa’s father. Steve’s best friend actually killed my father and my MOM!” Tony shot back bitterly.

 

“The Winter Soldier killed your parents, Tony. Not Bucky,” Natalia declared earnestly.

 

Tony rolled his eyes and slumped dramatically. Sticking his index figure out, the dark-haired man illustrated his points with jabbing gestures in the air. “That is a shit poor excuse. He could have left her. If he could recognise Steve, who is the fucking ultimate HYDRA target, and not kill _him_ then he could have left my Mom alone.”

 

“Bucky took your parents away and guess what you almost did the same thing,” Natalia informed him as she crossed her arms.

 

Tony took a step back and blinked several times as though her accusation did not compute for him. “What do you mean?”

 

Natalia spoke slowly and clearly: “I mean you almost did the same thing. You were determined to do the same thing that the Winter Soldier did to you to me and Steve’s…”

 

“What?” Tony dared her to answer.

 

“Fucking hell, Tony- you read the inquiry report,” Natalia cried in exasperation. “You have to have fucking hacked into their security system by now. You know I’m pregnant.”

 

“With what? Stomach exploding Alien spawn?” Tony accused.

 

“I don’t know how I haven’t stabbed you in the past month,” Natalia declared as she dropped her head back to glare at the ceiling.

 

“No, you totally stabbed me in the back,” Tony reminded her. “I actually thought we were cool with each other.”

 

“Stop digressing! I’m pregnant- with human twins- Steve’s their father and you’re a dickhead!” Natalia whisper-yelled at him, checking her surroundings as Tony forced her to admit to what she’d just lied about to the UN in a relatively public place.

 

“Steve?” Tony questioned incredulously. “You’re not waiting for Bruce?”

 

Natalia blinked at him slowly before she rattled off in a hiss, “How did you not notice? Practically everyone knew. Pepper knew. The internet knew. I’m sure your pervy little protégé Parker knew, with how much he was peeping through my window. You and Sam are so unobservant. It’s not like we purposely hid it, we just didn’t announce it like a supermarket intercom declaration because we were taking it at our own pace.

 

“Besides, why would I wait for a secretive _married_ man, when I’m attracted to an available man who I’ve been drawn to magnetically for the entire time I’ve known him and who is drawn to me similarly? Bruce is a special person, but he’s not my… I love Steve.”

 

“So the whole warping event that is you noticing that you have a heart is supposed to negate everything that monster, Barnes, did?” Tony argued.

 

“You couldn’t have been all teasing and playful and actually happy for us like everyone else, could you?” Natalia shook her head in exasperation. “You had to be _special_ and make this needlessly dramatic and ALL ABOUT YOU!”

 

“Well, you all jumped ship and left me to steer towards a frikkin’ iceberg of loneliness, Natalie,” Tony countered. “And who’s digressing now?”

 

Natalia inhaled her twentieth steadying breath that day and once she had collected herself she spoke: “My point, in all this, is that Bucky killed your family and you almost did the same thing to us. Except, Bucky was programmed. They got in his head and took control of his body and you don’t know what that machine feels like. I was indoctrinated, I would comply because they raised me that way. It hurt even though I believed it was good for me when they used that machine on me. Bucky was always Bucky underneath that. Fuck what Wanda can do- you can’t fight that machine. They had decades to perfect their techniques. You have no idea what we’re going to have to do to free him from that mental prison. But he has a chance now. He can be who he actually is. He won’t forget what he’s done, but he can be who he is and he is a good man.”

 

During her speech Tony had opened his mouth several times to protest, but now that she had paused, he had nothing to do but think over what she had said.

 

“Tony,” Natalia said in a gentler tone, “Pepper’s not going to come back. The rest of us are not going to come back. We’ll be there when you need us, when the world needs us, but we can’t come back to this place where we can’t trust each other. We’re always going to be family, but you need to fix you. You fall into the same patterns and believe me I know how that feels. I used to do it all the time.

 

“But throw out all the fucking liquor in your apartment again. Feel the fucking pain and move through it. You’re going to need a clear head and a clear heart because bad shit is going to go down. Zemo’s nothing but a pawn, and you and I signed the wrong document. It leads to something we don’t want. Something much worse is coming. They will make it so that we can’t do anything.”

 

“It’s called procedure Nat,” Tony replied acerbically. “Has Cap lulled you into his way of thinking?”

 

Natalia ignored his bait and continued to explain: “There’s a Superhuman Registration Act in the works. You know what happens when humanity starts picking out those of their own that don’t fit the narrow criteria for acceptability. But guess what, by the time they get to genocide this time, there will be no one to protect them from the real manipulator of the strings.

 

“Every time we’ve faced invaders, they’ve had us to protect them. They’ve had us, enhanced humans, mutated humans and born-Mutants. You know very well how easily machines can be turned. With us gone who will be looking out for them? The best way to conquer is to make sure there’s very little resistance. Surprise did not work in the past because we were there to respond. But if you cause in-fighting and break down the enemy from within, this world is going to be easy work. A breeze.

 

“Something is coming, Tony. Watch your back, but I’m not the one you need to worry about.”

 

They stood glaring at each other huffily until Tony spoke up again.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to storm off now?” Tony asked, looking off to the side and gesturing with a whirl of his hand. “Whip your hair dramatically and stomp loudly?”

 

“I’ve stormed off too many times this month because of you,” Natalia scowled. She stuck her nose in the air and informed him: “I’ll saunter off, or perhaps flounce. Whichever one I choose will be my choice, numbnut.”

 

“I can’t believe Steve got you knocked up. You’d have to science the shit out of it all to get that one… I can’t believe Steve got with you,” Tony grumbled. “I owe so many people money now.”

 

“Why not Steve?”

 

“I’m more like why you?” Tony retorted. “You yourself have said that chicks dig Steve. You’re so… dangerous.”

 

“He jumps off buildings and out of planes and regularly chooses to only carry a shield as an auxiliary weapon, what makes you think he doesn’t thrive off of ‘danger’?” Natalia responded with a confused and affronted glare.

 

“I just thought he was more of a ‘white picket fence’ guy,” Tony shrugged. “And let’s face it: you’re not ‘white picket fence’.”

 

“You don’t know many spies do you?” Natalia snorted. “We can blend in anywhere. The material things are not what we define as home, when your life can change in the blink of an eye. And Steve’s not ‘white picket fence’. He grew up in Brooklyn. He’s brownstone. He’s Harleys and leather jackets, and art exhibits and crazy explosions and handmade French postcards and Nutella burgers and-”

 

“Nutella burgers?!” Tony interrupted. “What the frickity-frack is that?”

 

“Nutella on a burger,” Natalia elucidated quickly with a wave of her hand. “We went to this place in Australia that does this burger with bacon and Nutella and Steve had to try it because he’s just all about Nutella and peanuts and sweet nut stuff, and now he always puts Nutella on his burgers at home.”

 

“Dear god of weirdness,” Tony breathed. “You really are a couple. Is that why I’ve found Nutella on the Quinjets and why you always carry Snickers bars in your utility belt compartments?”

 

“Yes, now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got a whole life to keep reorganising so I don’t get incarcerated, my boyfriend blackmailed into rescuing me and my unborn children experimented upon,” Natalia breezed.

 

“I call dibs on godfather-hood,” Tony called after her as she walked through the fire exit doors.

 

“Don’t push your luck,” Natalia snorted.

 

“Still called it,” Tony tried to have the last word, as he followed her and stuck his head over the balustrading as Natalia trotted down the stairs.

 

“Well the final ‘boom’ belongs to me, Stark: Pietro Maximoff’s alive, a Mutant and he can moonwalk at supersonic speeds!” Natalia yelled as she flipped him the loser sign and smirked.

 

“WHAT?!” Tony exclaimed. Shaking his fists at the heavens he grumbled to himself: “Argh! I wanted to analyse that… wait, did she say ‘French postcards’ back there?!”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun writing that. Tony had to be special.   
> The first part was a little difficult for me because my favourite uncle on my father’s side passed away recently due to complications from a workplace accident. Through some seriously messed up hospital negligence he had to have his leg amputated and the complications just escalated from there. I never got to speak to him or visit before he passed, and I felt like I should somehow remind people out there to do your best to take time out for the people in your lives when they need you because you don’t know when your time to leave will come… Cherish your people.


	12. Saturday Visitation (Part 2: Tea for Three or more)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today, I’m sort of in a panic, because my cousin is coming to stay and I don’t know if I’m supposed to keep him occupied- it’s his 30th! But he’s here for work this weekend… I’m just thinking about when I’m supposed to write, because I’m dragging my feet and I running out of chapters to buffer myself from a void of post-able work. I wish there was a way to just telepathically transfer my ideas onto a word document. I wish that a lot when things like what happened yesterday morning happen: just as I was waking up, I imagined an awesome conversation between Bucky and Steve on the Quinjet during the CACW and it was so filled with Romanogers feels. But dang it! Gone. The problem is that I knew that it was awesome as it was forming in my mind, but half of my brain was like ‘this bed is warm and comfy- stay’. I should really just train myself to automatically reach for my laptop and start typing- I generally keep it on standby anyway. Sigh.

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Twelve

 

Saturday Visitation (Part 2: Tea for Three or more)

 

“Clinton,” Victoria reprimanded sternly. The retired blonde elder agent was seated at a table laden with tea things before a large screen from which the retired Hawkeye gazed back innocently at her. “If that is coffee and not earl grey, I’m going to find a way to put something very itchy in your gear when you least expect. Show me your cup.”

 

The two were having tea together via video-chat and Victoria had insisted on them having the same basic set up to create the atmosphere that they were indeed in the same room and not in different time zones six hours apart. There were scones with clotted cream and jam, cucumber sandwiches, petit-fours, madeleines, macarons and earl grey tea.

 

“Well, would you blame me if it was coffee? Wakanda produces some of the finest coffee in the world,” Clint replied. “Earthy and heavenly at the same time.”

 

“Show me your cup, Clinton. I went to all the trouble of politely requesting the spread before you on your side from the Wakandan Royal Palace Catering Staff, who are among the best in the world. And I’ve set up an afternoon tea spread when it’s not even elevenses here in the States. The particular blend of Earl Grey you should be drinking is what would go best,” Victoria lectured him. “It’s also just plain wrong to drink coffee in a tea cup! Show me the cup.”

 

“How will you even know? Tea with milk and coffee with milk looks the same!” Clint protested.

 

“This video-chat is in Hi-Def. I’m English. We can tell about tea,” Victoria glared at him.

 

Clint groaned and showed Victoria the contents of his tea cup. She scrutinised it, then popped her spectacles on and scrutinised it some more. “Are you showing me the cup that you’re actually drinking from?”

 

Clint rolled his eyes and poured out a cup he’d hidden off screen into a nearby pot plant. Natalia walked in to see Victoria tsk-ing at him for the act and sat down at a place next to her fellow expert assassin.

 

“Glad to see you could finally join us for our humble gathering of retired espionage professionals,” Clint smirked.

 

“New York traffic, Clint. I had a whole host of things to do anyway,” Natalia waved the comment off with her hand casually.

 

“I don’t mind at all,” Clint said with the beginnings of a grin teasing at the corners of his mouth. “Gave me a chance to catch up with dear Victoria. She told me how you guys have a nickname for the little sunbeams of life in your belly: Beans.”

 

“Clint,” Natalia frowned.

 

“Are you sure there’s only two in there?” Clint asked.

 

“No, please, stop,” Natalia groaned.

 

“Clinton, spare our ears and memories,” Victoria moaned in exasperation.

 

“Because if there were three, we could call them ‘Magic Beans’, like in Jack and the Beanstalk,” Clint smirked smugly.

 

“That was terrible!” Natalia complained. “Use your lame dad jokes on your kids, not us!”

 

“Oh, am I forgetting something? Was I actually present when the two idiots who fell into this trap could not be wrangled back into common sense? No, I was there though when somebody needed their super-fertile boyfriend to be bailed out of the drama that he seems to rustle up on an annual basis?” Clint remarked sarcastically. “You know I had to cancel a water-ski trip with those kids I’m supposed to reserve my so-called lame jokes for.”

 

“You can water-ski in Wakanda,” Natalia countered smarmily.

 

“With crocodiles and hippos? Yeah, you think Laura’s going to let that happen?” Clint retorted.

 

“You’re the guest of the richest man in the world, Clint,” Victoria interjected. “There are royal facilities and public facilities where it will be absolutely safe to water-ski- or as safe as you can get engaging in an adrenalin-fuelled water-sport.”

 

“There was leopard on my balcony this morning,” Clint stated. “A leopard. It was just chilling there. It looked at me through the frikkin’ _glass_ doors.”

 

“You’re such a baby sometimes,” Natalia rolled her eyes. “I bet the kids and Laura are loving it there.”

 

“Laura’s jet-lagged and asleep. But yeah the kids like it,” Clint acceded. “Cooper thinks Wolverine is the coolest thing since the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie and is hanging off the dude’s arms and pestering him about seeing his claws. Lila’s taking full advantage of the fact that she’s currently in a Royal Palace. She charmed T’Challa into teaching her about Polo.”

 

“And Nathaniel?” Victoria asked. “I miss him so much. I’ve got this lovely little suit for him and I should send it to you.”

 

“He’s being watched by Captain Condomless,” Clint grinned cheesily.

 

Natalia glared at him, while Victoria reprimanded him with a terse “Really, Clinton. How uncouth.”

 

“Well, the moment Laura heard that the Oh-so-responsible-looking Steve Rogers,” Clint continued, “who was the epitome of manners and innocent charm when he came to dinner with you, Nat, as your darling beau two months ago had gotten you knocked up she decided it was time for a mini-crash course in parental responsibility. I’m really thankful that T’Challa has an excellent medical staff, because Steve and Nathan are currently in the company of Sam. I have a feeling that one of them’s going to give him something unsuitable for a year old baby to eat, like maybe half a pot of that Nutella you sent over in bulk for Steve.”

 

“Ah, no, Clint, don’t leave him alone with the Nutella,” Natalia complained. “And I mean Steve when I say that.”

 

“But he calmed right down after two pots of the stuff and ten Snickers bars. He fainted y’know,” Clint told her. “It was epic. You know what else can be epic? That dudoir calendar he let slip that you were making him do as a sort of punishment. He said that he expects that we’ll all be roped in to help and that he’d rather not have to endure it in the company of complete strangers.”

 

“You’re plotting already, aren’t you?” Victoria laughed.

 

“I’ll accept prompts but the final list is my sole decision,” Natalia grinned with a flicker of affectionate vengeance in her eyes.

 

“I’ll be sure to email you,” Clint beamed back at her. “Captain Condomless will squirm in embarrassed reminiscence for years.”

 

“Where’s Barnes?” Natalia asked with a determined little frown.

 

“He went into surgery to get a new temporary arm prosthetic- really marvellous tech- and then went into mind surgery,” Clint reported. “It looks like it went well. Dr Grey says he won’t be hacked by command codes now, which is what has the most potential for harm, though they still have a lot of work to root out the other triggers. There’re a lot of layers. Steve’s really happy about that. Looking at them, you can tell their connection is brotherly. Steve needs more of that closeness in his life. You know how he can cut himself off and smile for everyone else.”

 

“Clint, just look after him,” Natalia sighed with sombre sadness. “I really dropped a bomb on Steve, and I know it was unfair, but time was getting away from me and I needed to tell him to his face. Well, to his digital image.”

 

“Hey, you know I’ve got your back. And I’ve even got his. The two of you are family,” Clint smiled warmly. “Besides, you have no idea how much fun it is watching him walk around on eggshells in my presence. He really thinks I’m going to do something to him. Lots of something. He’s still wary from when I walked in on you two in the barn after dinner, haha.”

 

“A barn, Natalia?” Victoria smirked. “You’re living the fantasy life of all his red-blooded fans around the world.”

 

“Yeah, that barn’s imbued with mystical properties: I’m pretty sure that’s where two of my children were conceived,” Clint teased.

 

“Well, I’m pretty sure the conception of my unborn children was entirely somewhere else,” Natalia replied starchily.

 

“Clinton, it’s a very wanton story. You should hear it,” Victoria smirked gleefully at the dark blond man on the screen. Clint paled.

 

“I’ll turn off my hearing aids!” He protested.

 

“I’ll sign it for you,” Natalia grinned evilly.

 

“I’ll cut this call,” Clint threatened.

 

“You know you can’t avoid me forever,” Natalia taunted him. “Maybe, I’ll send you that deliciously carnal love letter Steve wrote me. He usually illustrates what he wants to do to me you know- and what he’s already done- on one side of the page like our own little French postcards.”

 

“Moving on!” Clint exclaimed. “Shouldn’t we be discussing the real reason for this meeting and not trying to give me waking nightmares?”

 

“But we’re still waiting for Fury,” Natalia mock-lamented.

 

“Yes, and we have to fill the time up somehow. Delicious details about titillating liaisons should prove meaty enough to occupy our thoughts and mouths,” Victoria tormented further.

 

Clint wailed in agony.

 

“Vicky, you bad girl you,” Natalia smirked. “Or should rather say what a ‘bad girl’ I am? Steve loves it when I say tha-”

 

“When that man comes pestering me for your hand which I already know he’s itching to do, I’m going to give him hell, Natalia!” Clint scolded. “Cool older brother figure my ass.”

 

“You leave him alone,” Natalia scolded mildly. “I have Laura’s ear and I can make your life just as troublesome. Besides, I saw the ring.”

 

“He has a ring!” Clint cried. “That’s what he was begging Logan about trying to get delivered I guess.”

 

They all took a sip of their tea and pondered their own thoughts.

 

“So are you going to say ‘yes’?” Clint asked cautiously.

 

“I’ll say what I want to say when whatever happens, happens,” Natalia replied and then took a bite out of a madeleine.

 

“So…” Clint began after another lull in the conversation. “Do we discuss my musings on becoming a coffee farmer in Wakanda or the delightful incident involving my daughter that necessitated a parent teacher conference that this whole international ordeal bailed me out of?”

 

“What did Lila do?” Natalia smiled.

 

“She just sucker-punched and kneed a bully in the gnads,” Clint answered casually. “Apparently she had tried negotiation.”

 

“Which I always encourage her to use first,” Natalia replied.

 

“And then she tried to outsmart and trick the older kid,” Clint went on.

 

“She definitely has the brains for that,” Natalia commented.

 

“But then the kid apparently took one of her My Little Ponies hostage- which she was not meant to bring to school- and was threatening to cut its hair off,” Clint said. “So she disarmed him of his scissors and physically retaliated.”

 

“I might have taught her how to do that,” Victoria mumbled nonchalantly.

 

“Yeah, well Laura thinks I did,” Clint grimaced with pursed lips at the two of them.

 

“What’s this about coffee farming?” Victoria enquired suddenly.

 

“There’s actually a Higher Institute for Coffee Agriculture nearby, but that isn’t the point,” Clint informed her. “The point is that kindergarteners should not be getting into blunt-nosed scissor-fights- even if she has master-spy assassins for female role models.”

 

“At least you know she can protect herself,” Victoria shrugged.

 

Just then, the two female retired agents whipped out pistols and shot up at the ceiling in the corner of the room. They waited tensely for any signs of their quarry.

 

“It’s just me, damn it!” Maria Hill’s voice called out from above. The ebony-haired woman swung down from the ceiling patch entrance to the rafters a moment later.

 

“I distinctly remember not inviting you,” Natalia remarked tightly.

 

“I’m here to scout the locale for Fury,” Maria replied breezily.

 

“Nat’s still upset about the whole Maria got the inside scoop on Fury’s whether he was alive or not dealio,” Clint stage-whispered to Victoria, who had still not taken her eyes off of the young woman.

 

“I am not,” Natalia denied instantly. “It’s just rude to pitch up at someone you don’t know’s safe house hidey hole.”

 

“Whose hidey hole is it by the way?” Clint asked. “I didn’t take either of you for lovers of that kind of severe Russian painting style as exhibited in that canvas behind you.”

 

“It’s Ivan’s,” Nick Fury’s sonorous voice declared from off-camera.

 

“Oh hey, Nick,” Clint greeted casually. “Which Ivan? Nat’s Ivan or Vicky’s Ivan? Because the former would be like a zombie, or something.”

 

“My Ivan Simanov,” Victoria clarified. “And he’s going to be pissed off that you brought someone he’s never met here, Nicholas. You probably will only be getting a case of the second best fine vodka brand this Christmas and not the very best.”

 

“Do you see the tears in my eye?” Fury replied flatly.

 

“Don’t be smart with me, I’m still expert at hurting you and then sewing you up so that you have a niggling pain that builds until you go out of your mind and insist on major surgery to correct it or amputate,” Victoria sneered.

 

“Venomous old-school spy taunts aside, could we move on to the matter at hand? Why are we here?” Maria asked bluntly.

 

“You have no reason to be here because you were not invited,” Natalia replied. “But since you are, then we will make use of you. You owe me anyway.”

 

“We’re here because Natalia has something she wants to discuss with us and to see how we can help her make arrangements for her future,” Victoria explained diplomatically. “You can sit down to tea, Nicholas. The tea isn’t poisoned. Nor are any of the cakes and I know you love petit-fours.”

 

Nick Fury sat down with a half grimace, crossed his legs and waited while Maria slowly eased into her seat opposite him.

 

“Maria could you move in because I can’t see you,” Clint asked. The rest of the little group rolled their eyes as Maria shuffled in a little more and Victoria poured out their tea asking about their preferences. Pastries were passed around and tea was quickly sipped.

 

“Now why the hell would you come to me for help with your ‘future’?” Nick drawled. “With the events of the past few weeks it seems like you can handle it all by yourself. That is, if what you were aiming to create was an absolute disaster.”

 

“Well, if you actually played your role as the _real_ head of the New S.H.I.E.L.D. instead of having Maria be your public puppet, then maybe you could have ensured that this shit never got started,” Natalia argued.

 

“Y’all are grown-ass professionals and you in particular have the experience of four agents rolled into one,” Nick countered.

 

“Enough, enough,” Victoria interrupted with a wave of her hand. “Business. That’s why we’re here, even if it’s just family business.”

 

“I’m sure you know, Nick, that Zemo is not the mastermind on this whole debacle,” Natalia began. “There are whisperings about a ‘Superhuman Registration Act’ in the works and a few parties have expressed concern about where this move originates from.”

 

“A ‘Superhuman Registration Act’? I suppose that means to cover enhanced and Mutant humans as the subjects to be registered,” Clint theorised.

 

“Yes, there is something like that in the works and we are doing our best to counter it,” Nick admitted.

 

“We have to do better,” Natalia demanded. “Whoever is behind this probably aims to get rid of the many ‘superhumans’ that defend this planet from threats.”

 

“By the use of the word ‘planet’ are you implying that the possible threat is extra-terrestrial?” Victoria enquired with a dainty frown.

 

“Yes, that is a possibility. Whoever the parties are, they seem to be aiming to divide and conquer by getting us to tear ourselves apart and then rip away our world’s protections,” Natalia continued.

 

“Do we have any idea why?” Clint asked.

 

“It’s probably the usual megalomaniacal desire for a slave force thing,” Maria offered.

 

“Well we do have a nice world with a good amount of resources,” Victoria added.

 

“I think perhaps it may have to do with the research Thor’s been doing,” Natalia postulated. “But it could be anything. We need to intensify our pre-emptive efforts.”

 

“I’m already working on that,” Fury replied with a raised eyebrow. Natalia stamped down a grimace and moved onto the next topic of discussion.

 

“I need a new life,” Natalia announced. “One that’s as covert as your disappearance was, Nick.”

 

“You’re perfectly capable of organising that on your own,” Fury frowned at her. Natalia knew that part of the reason why Fury liked her was that she was so very capable.

 

“Yes, but I’m carrying the offspring of Captain America. I need a little help dodging serum-hounding nuts who’d look at my womb like it was the Holy Grail,” Natalia shot back acerbically. “Not to mention the fact that there’s a high possibility that my unborn twins may be Mutants.”

 

“That’s… news,” Maria uttered with a note of surprise. “The Mutation of DNA, that is. Can one tell at such an early stage?”

 

“I have my means,” Natalia replied. Nick narrowed his eyes at her curiously but did not remark on it.

 

“So you want me to make you disappear,” Nick reiterated. “Why not disappear with the rest of your merry band?”

 

“Because I’m still a red flag that Thaddeus and his cronies want to watch,” Natalia explained. “I’ve already organised a decoy for them to worry about, but I need to remain separate so if they do notice that I’m not really there as I expect them to eventually, I’m not with those whom I’d put a bigger target on because of some perceived treachery.”

 

Nick Fury Jr sighed and pensively examined a spot on the wall.

 

“Oh come on Nicholas,” Victoria chided after a few minutes. “You’ve survived a mass escape of venomous snakes on a plane. Surely you can organise an unexpected little hideaway where Natalia can blend in, glow in her pregnancy and not be extradited from on treason charges.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Nick finally agreed.

 


	13. Saturday Visitation (Part 3: Sleepover- Boys Only!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I procrastinated so bad on this chapter. You see, I got attacked by three chapter’s worth of ideas and then a fourth one that’s meant to link them. Really, it feels like my plot bunny is attacking me. And then a plot bunny that I told to be patient started getting too showily emo in the corner. I’ve told it to shut up again. I then wrote two thirds of this and procrastinated a whole lot. Consequently I’ve messed up my schedule.
> 
> While I was procrastinating, I decided to continue trying to catch up with this webtoon I’m reading called ‘Bastard’. 
> 
> It’s a horror. 
> 
> I can only read 10 chapters at a time because it’s stressful. Now after screaming for the characters (in my head, or else people will call the police or think I’m mad), I’ve made myself do the more pleasant thing of writing a lemon, which poor Steve was begging for anyway. Yes, Steve begged me for a Lemon Cocktail. Steve. 
> 
> If you’re into that type of thing, read ‘Bastard’. I still want to scream.

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Thirteen

 

Saturday Visitation (Part 3: Sleepover- Boys Only!)

 

“Steve, be sure to put that pot of Nutella back when you guys are done,” Logan reminded him from the foot of the staircase that led off of the large open plan living area of the guest quarters on the Wakandan Palatial grounds. “You might be a super-soldier but even you will be subject to cavities if you fall asleep with that junk sliming your teeth, and I don’t want Nat accusing me of that happening on my watch.”

 

It was clear that the trio of knuckleheads in pyjamas lounging on and around the sofa were paying him no heed by the indistinct yet united grunt they emitted in response. It was a long time since he’d been a dad, and he was technically on leave. He was not going to be responsible for anybody else’s behaviour. So Logan shook his head and turned off the last switch for the kitchen area’s lights and returned upstairs with a beer in hand to watch the rerun of the NHL game he’d missed due to this whole palaver.

 

Having completely blocked Logan out, Steve was lounging on his side busy dipping bits of popcorn in Nutella every now and then while splitting his focus between the television and Bucky who was seated to his right on the rug and leaning against the sofa as a backrest. Sam was on his stomach on the daybed end of the L-shaped sofa near Steve’s feet. Sam’s lower half was wrapped in a beige blanket and his arms and shoulders stuck out as he supported himself on his elbows. With his bright green t-shirt, he looked like a burrito avidly watching the colourful pictures on screen.

 

Before them on the coffee table were a few bowls of snacks, including Doritos and an awesome guacamole that had strawberries and mango in it, tall cans of Irish beer, bottles of Corona and Sprite.

 

Bucky was busy on a tablet, switching between a Pinterest page and searching for Wakandan catholic churches. He’d undergone surgery that morning to fit him with a custom prosthetic bone structure for an arm, so his shoulder socket was swathed in bandages. The piece was made of metal, and wasn’t the final one he’d have but that was to be made of vibranium after an assessment period. Later on he’d have a synthetic flesh arm to cover the skeletal prosthetic, but he was able to use it very well so far. He’d been awake for the surgery, because he refused to go under general anaesthetic. So he was able help the world-leading Wakandan Royal Medical team who was fitting the piece fine-tune their placement. The country had become a centre for expertise in prosthetics due to T’Challa’s interest in science and technology and the Royal family’s philanthropic pursuits in aide of many of their neighbours who had seen the ravages of war in the past few decades.

 

Cooper, Clint’s son, had said that his arm looked like it belonged to Jack Skellington. Clint was proud.

 

“Do you prefer a chapel, or a cathedral?” Bucky asked Steve as he showed him two sets of pictures on his tablet. The camera on the tablet was obscured with a sticker of a bunny that Lila had given Bucky. “They both have beautiful stained glass, but I think the staff of the chapel looks friendlier. They are at least smiling in their photos.”

 

“Chapel,” Steve answered as he chewed a piece of popcorn and frowned slightly as Bucky pinned both churches onto a board named ‘Stevie and Nata’s Wedding’. “But I wonder if Nat might want an outdoors ceremony.”

 

Bucky seemed really determined for Steve and Natalia to be united in holy matrimony. He had explained that at least one of them shouldn’t have the mark of being an unwed father come judgement day. Steve could not really form a coherent sentence to respond to that so he let Bucky continue since it seemed to give him some sort of amused peace. There were already a whole host of groom’s details pinned to the board.

 

“Shhhh,” Sam hushed them, smacking Steve’s calf repeatedly as he did. “The god of basketball is on.” Sam proceeded to bop his head and shoulders to the ‘Regular Show’ character’s theme music.

 

Steve nerdishly jammed along with Sam until the character had finished on screen before he turned back to Bucky and asked, “So you’re definitely cutting your hair?”

 

“Yep,” Bucky answered, popping the plosive. “It’s too long.”

 

“It’s not really that long, man,” Sam commented. “And your hair is thick enough to probably pull off one of those man-bun things if you let it get longer.”

 

“Those only look good with beards and I don’t want a beard,” Bucky replied. Sam and Steve noticed that Bucky was now scrolling through men’s hair trends. “Plus, it is definitely too long. A little girl gave me a zipper braid updo with a side rosette at the nape of my neck this afternoon. I’ve never had my hair braided and I had bossy Irish sisters. I’m not even sure how it happened- that Jean Grey can really put a whammy on you.”

 

Being a man of action, Bucky had himself rolled straight from recovery after surgery to mind therapy with Jean Grey and Professor Xavier. They’d removed the most dangerous of his mental triggers and he’d passed out for three hours afterwards and woken up to a new hairstyle and pony figurines on his back.

 

“You could get a haircut like mine,” Steve offered. Bucky frowned at Steve and his hair irritably.

 

“I’d rather go back to what I had in the forties than that,” Bucky gestured with his skeletal index finger.

 

“This is Nat-approved. This is Nat-trimmed,” Steve protested.

 

“Our head shape is different,” Bucky countered.

 

“Well, if you want to go back to what you had then at least derivatives of what was popular in the war are sort of still in,” Steve grumbled. “You can blame Brad Pitt and his World War Two cinematic theme phase for that.”

 

“I think you should get experimental with patterns,” Sam said. “You have the badass swag to carry it off.”

 

Ignoring Sam’s opinion, Steve grabbed Bucky’s head and pushed his hair back, using his thumbs like an Alice band and turned Bucky’s head to face Sam. “You see, it was sort of like this when it was combed back.”

 

“That flat?” Sam questioned.

 

“No,” Steve glanced down at Bucky and then attempted to create more of a bouffant by letting some of the brown haired man’s hair through his fingers. “Like this, sort of.”

 

“If there is chocolate in my hair I’m going to kick your ass,” Bucky growled, his eyes attempting to focus on a spot in the middle of his own forehead out of his scope.

 

“Well, you don’t have to rush it,” Sam snickered. “You can take your time and decide.”

 

“Not if I wanna get laid soon,” Bucky proclaimed. “A metal arm and looking like a flasher do not get reasonable dames to drop their panties.”

 

“I think you’d be surprised,” Sam shrugged.

 

“I think I speak from experience,” Bucky countered.

 

“All the chicks we know dig odd guys,” Sam said. “Being physically ordinary just plain sucks for your romantic life- I think I speak from experience.”

 

“Still, looking like a mass murderer is not doing me any favours,” Bucky sighed. “Everybody here’s married or dizzy with a dame. Except you.”

 

“Hey, Pietro’s single,” Sam protested.

 

“That kid’s obviously getting laid- a lot,” Bucky stated bluntly.

 

“Professor X,” Sam pointed out. He held up his hand again because the god of basketball had appeared on screen again and their conversation paused for a minute.

 

“He’s old,” Bucky argued when he was given the all clear to continue.

 

“He’s you guys’ age,” Sam grinned wickedly. Steve and Bucky glared at him for a moment before Steve threw a cushion at his head. “Ha ha, maybe you should get Nat to fix you up. She’s pretty good at that, even if her matchmaking skills never worked on Steve.”

 

“That’s obviously because Steve had a boner for her, man,” Bucky chuckled. He was hit with a cushion by Steve too. “What? My first analysis on you as the Winter Soldier was ‘obviously has a hard-on for the redhead’.”

 

“You’re making him blush!” Sam gasped from the silent giggles he was fighting.

 

“Shut up,” Steve mumbled through clenched teeth, his face getting pinker by the second. “We’re fixing Bucky up. Now think about suitable women.”

 

“Has to be able to kick ass, be compassionate, wicked sense of humour and pretty,” Sam listed as he appraised Bucky, who nodded along with the brief profile.

 

“What about…” Bucky started hesitantly and then shook his head.

 

“What about who?” Steve nudged encouragingly.

 

“What about Wanda?” Bucky asked. “She seems interesting.”

 

“She’s like my kid sister! What is with you and the inappropriately aged dames?” Steve cried in exasperation.

 

“She’s over eighteen!” Bucky countered.

 

“She can’t even drink legally in the US and she still has to write her SATs!” Steve continued.

 

“But she’ll be completely legal for all sorts of things soon, right?” Bucky smirked with the old light of a charmer kindling in his eyes.

 

“Yeah she will,” Sam agreed. Steve glared crossly at him and so Sam changed tactic: “Though I think you might not be her type.”

 

“Reformed bad-boy is every woman’s type,” Bucky grinned crookedly.

 

“Her type is an android,” Sam informed him.

 

“Well, I have a metal arm- arm skeletal structure now- and my brain has proved to be programmable,” Bucky listed. “I guess that makes me a cyborg since I have a hot human cock.”

 

“That is why you are not going anywhere near Wanda- that last bit,” Steve scolded.

 

“Also, I’m sure Pietro’s ridiculously protective. Be glad he didn’t hear you,” Sam laughed. “Tell you what, Thor’s girlfriend, Jane has this assistant, Darcy, and she is really cool. And really stacked.” Sam gestured what he meant to Bucky.

 

“Sam!” Steve reprimanded. “Don’t objectify Darcy like that. It’s wrong and she’ll taser you in the nuts.”

 

“I know,” Sam groaned rolling from side to side on his stomach with a pout on his face. “But she is fuckin’ hot and dudes who already have fuckin’ hot chicks altering the world for them shouldn’t get a say in what us poor sex-deprived souls discuss.”

 

“T’Challa’s royal guard are really hot too,” Bucky noted, referring to the all-female corp.

 

“True dat!” Sam agreed. “But I heard they were all raised to accept the possibility of being his wife. Just Ororo met him first and it was all childhood meet-cute then reuniting as adults for freaky hot sex.”

 

“Which means the hot guards are available,” Bucky concluded.

 

“I don’t know if either of you noticed, but they’re kind of not at all impressed by non-Wakandans,” Steve pointed out wryly.

 

“We’ll just change their minds,” Sam grinned conspiratorially with Bucky.

 

“After I get a haircut,” Bucky concurred. 

 

Just then a melody of phone message alerts went off on the coffee table and they all reached for their respective untraceable phones. Sam was the quickest to open up the video message that they’d all received. It was from Wanda’s number.

 

The video file opened to show a wide-eyed Wanda, with her hair in pigtails and her nose taped into a piggy snout and what looked like Steve’s black-rimmed spectacles on her nose.

 

“Welcome to ‘Wanda in Wakanda’!” the Video Wanda chimed in a thicker accent than she normally had. “I’m your host, Wanda, and this my side-kick, Yakov.” A blue sock puppet without out a hand to control it floated into frame.

 

“And today we are exploring the awesome palace grounds. We’ll meet with superstar Lila Barton as she shows us how to braid a dressage horse’s hair with this season’s latest style. And then later we’ll join Lila and her dear friend Queen Ororo for tea and fruity drinks at the pool.”

 

Sam snorted. “Oh this is golden.”

 

Little Lila bounced onto screen and proceeded to show Wanda all about braiding a horse’s hair with sparkly ribbons as an amused T’Challa watched in the background. Wanda and the floating sock puppet Yakov, who had a very deep raspy voice, were avidly enthusiastic about everything.

 

And then Lila dragged Wanda off to a new locale.

 

“Those techniques can even be applied to people,” Lila informed Wanda, Yakov and their viewers. “I’ll show you!”

 

The camera revealed a conked out Bucky drooling with his mouth open, prone on the sofa that he, Steve and Sam happened to be squashed up on right then.

 

“Perhaps we should be gentle, so as not to disturb Uncle Bucky,” Yakov the puppet suggested.

 

“Good idea,” Wanda agreed.

 

“Uncle Bucky will look so good with a zipper braid updo,” Lila said thoughtfully. “Maybe I’ll make a rosette too. Aunty Nat taught me how to do that. Do you think he’ll look good, Wanda?”

 

“Well, Uncle Bucky’s a good-looking guy,” Wanda reasoned. “He’ll definitely look great!”

 

Lila then began to braid Bucky’s hair, and the camera zoomed in on her action. Bucky was wide-eyed in horror as he watched the recording of his earlier self. Steve’s mouth was agape and Sam was crying and clutching his side in mirth.

 

Their viewing was interrupted by a body falling from the other side of the decorative bulkhead in front of the floor to ceiling glass wall looking out onto the grounds on their left. It was a convulsing Clint who was in a similar state to Sam. A second later and Scott popped up as regular-sized man as he hopped off of Clint’s shoulder, laughing just as badly. The motion made them finally take notice of Pietro who was settled too insouciantly on an armchair watching the TV.

 

“We were just listening to you knuckleheads talk crap, but this is so much better,” Clint gasped as he held up his phone.  

 

Clint had barely managed to roll onto his knees when a high-pitched, banshee-like scream came from the second storey.

 

“Nazgûûûûûl,” Pietro remarked casually as he kept his eyes trained on the animation on screen.

 

“Pietro!” Wanda yelled from upstairs. She then went on a colourful tirade in Sokovian as her brother tried not to smirk.

 

“Wanda! Language!” Steve bellowed at the furious and embarrassed Scarlet Witch. She’d made it to the top of the stairs and glared at the lot of them.

 

“Shove your ‘Language’ and fuck you Pietro Maximoff!” Wanda yelled at them. “I will tell all the girls you ever meet that you like to wear lacy leopard print thongs!”

 

With that her eyes glowed and the bowls of Doritos and guacamole zoomed off of the coffee table, their contents blurred into a mini-hurricane and dispersed to splatter onto Pietro, Steve, Sam, Clint and Scott. Bucky was safe because he’d been just as embarrassed, so he could smirk at the lot of them.

 

He leaned over to Steve, once Wanda had marched off, and whispered, “She did say I’m good-looking.”

 

Pietro caught their exchange and looked up from his ruined t-shirt to scrutinise Bucky with the protective ire of an older brother.

 

Steve’s phone started to ring and at the sight of the caller ID, he sprang up and advised over his shoulder while he clambered over his friend to get away from the group: “Save yourself, buddy.”

 

“Hey Natshechka,” Steve purred in a voice that was obviously deeper than the register he’d been using all evening.

 

“Whooooooooooooooh,” the guys all teased.

 

“It’s Nata!” Bucky crooned. Sam wriggled up to try and make fishy-lips kisses in the air near Steve’s head, but fell over onto Bucky who managed to stop him from face-planting into the coffee table.

 

“Hey Handsome,” Natalia’s husky voice replied on the other side of the line. “Are you boys horsing around? Is that why I just got that video from Wanda’s number? You’re being mean.”

 

“It’s not me it’s them,” Steve protested.

 

“Well tell them that I’ve been teaching Wanda how to exact revenge in the most satisfying ways,” Natalia instructed merrily. Steve did as she bid as he walked towards the stairs, watching the assembled company’s expressions pale with worry. Steve grinned and quickly jogged up the stairs and strode to his bedroom suite for some privacy.

 

“Hey darlin’, how are you?” Steve asked gently as soon as he closed the door behind him.

 

“I’m okay, how are you, my love?” Natalia asked softly.

 

“Um, okay. Worried. Missing you,” Steve admitted.

 

“Clint said you freaked,” Natalia informed him. “I’m sorry about that. How I told you. I wanted it to be more special than that, but then time just got away from me. I freaked at first when I found out.”

 

“You did?” Steve enquired a little disbelievingly.

 

“Well, I had an untreated concussion when I found out. My mind was all Red Room efficient and… I may have asked the doctor when we were going to abort,” Natalia admitted. He could hear the tinge of fear and pain in her voice.  

 

“But you didn’t,” Steve replied levelly.

 

“Yeah, I didn’t. I knew it was what I wanted anyway. I just had to get over the shell-shock and fear that I could mess this up, y’know,” Natalia explained.

 

“I can understand,” Steve admitted as he ambled towards the bathroom, pulling his guacamole and Doritos splattered pyjamas t-shirt off carefully as he did. He paused to put the phone on speaker as he got the garment over his head. “You’re on speaker. Sorry, I’ve got Doritos in my hair.”

 

“What? Why?” Natalia asked distractedly.

 

“Wanda’s immediate reaction,” Steve answered as he quickly raked crumbs out of his hair and put his head under the tap to rinse out the pureed avocado.

 

 “Hmm,” Natalia sighed. “Are you angry about all of this?”

 

“Honestly I feel like a dickhead,” Steve said as his head popped up and he examined his reflection in the mirror for any bits of leftover food. “I… should have seen that you wanted to talk, that we needed to talk. I should have insisted on it. And I really shouldn’t have fought with you like that, Nat. I’ve told you that for me, you’re it and the way I acted wasn’t right. It wasn’t right for a man who wants to spend the rest of his life with you.”

 

“Are you sure about that?” Natalia asked earnestly. “I kept something that important from you Steve until it was practically too late. You deserve to have that happiness in a normal way. You should get to celebrate this.”

 

“We should get to celebrate this, Natshechka,” Steve corrected her. “I’ve never been more sure about anything than I have been in my life than I have been about knowing that you are essential to my life- you as my partner in every sense of the word.”

 

“This is why the girls all melt for you,” Natalia huffed with an unsettled laugh. He heard her sniffle, and picked the phone back up and reset it to normal.

 

“I don’t care about the other girls,” Steve assured her as he grabbed a towel and roughed up his hair drying it. “You’re the only girl in the world as far as I’m concerned.”

 

“Stop it,” Natalia protested weakly.

 

“Natalia, I know I want to spend my life with you. I never thought I’d have a family, never thought I’d live to thirty in fact. But then my life turned out how it did. And it was topsy-turvy, but there was you. I almost lost my chance with you though, and then I chose that I’d make it happen and give you my all. I didn’t think in this modern incarnation that I’d have kids with the work we do, even before I learned about your fertility issues. I thought that if we made it to the days when we’d be office bound and not in the field, and if by some chance the world didn’t need us so much, that maybe we’d adopt. We see so many kids affected by the bad things in the world and I wanted to give someone solace from that- I still do.”

 

“I do too,” Natalia whispered in a cracked voice on the other end of the line.

 

“Then we’ll try that too,” Steve continued as he wandered over to the sliding doors to look out onto the lush Wakandan verdure under the moonless but star-crammed sky. “But I am so happy and so excited that we get this miracle.”

 

“Even if…,” Natalia hesitated. “Steve, I hadn’t gotten to telling you this yet, but do you know of the Mutant Mystique.”

 

“Yeah,” Steve said. He turned back and sat on the mid-point of the bed as he spoke. “I’ve read reports on her. Possibly him.”

 

“Well, there’s a high likelihood that we may be siblings,” Natalia rushed.

 

“Oh,” Steve said after a beat. He swung his legs up onto the bed and lay back against the large ivory silk-covered pillows.

 

“I have decades of clues that have led me to that supposition,” Natalia went on. “Mystique thinks so too. She’s helping me a little with this- she owes me for some stuff in the past.”

 

“Well, it makes sense,” Steve replied thoughtfully. “Bucky told me about this theory that all successful serum recipients share a common DNA mutation that allows the serum to work, so we’re kind of Mutants too.”

 

“Yeah,” Natalia said for lack of anything else to say. “Our kids might be blue.”

 

“Clint said that you’ve been calling them ‘Beans’?” Steve prompted. “If they’re blue, then they’ll be Jelly Beans.”

 

“At least you sound cute saying it, unlike Clint’s horrible attempts at humour,” Natalia snickered.

 

“Nat, these kids will be loved and protected no matter what they look like or what they can do,” Steve vowed to her. “They’ll be loved so much, they already are.”

 

“Why are you tugging on my heartstrings so hard when you’re so far away?!” Natalia complained.

 

“Are you still in the US?” Steve smiled tenderly, feeling the corresponding strings on his heart yank longingly for her.

 

“Yes,” Natalia exhaled. “I’ve got a decoy going, but I’ll disappear as completely as Fury did. I’m just waiting on my part in the plan to roll into play.”

 

“Will you come to me?” Steve asked hopefully.

 

“I can’t yet,” Natalia revealed sadly. “I estimate that they’ll expect that I’ll try to go off grid. They’ll probably make their move to check that I’m not affiliating myself with you soon-ish, and I want them to see that I am in hiding but just hiding harmlessly by myself so they don’t think to immediately take me out if they do somehow find me. I don’t want to put a target on all of you.”

 

“Natalia, don’t talk about them taking you out,” Steve groaned. “It’s killing me that you’re not by my side where I can see you’re okay and safe.”

 

“I’m safe, Steve,” Natalia promised him. “As safe as I can be. I’m retired too.”

 

“It went well?” Steve probed.

 

“It went amusingly and insultingly,” Natalia answered. “But I got my own in the end. I had to announce that I was pregnant. But I told them it was a donor embryo. I didn’t want them thinking they could hold that over you-over us.”

 

“I’d fucking lose it if they did,” Steve hissed in frustration.

 

“But I’m okay. I packed up our stuff at the tower and at base and I even got some of Sam and Wanda’s stuff too,” Natalia told him. “I also visited Rhodey properly.”

 

“How is he?” Steve asked guiltily.

 

“He’s doing pretty well, but he’s worried he’s going to crash into depression. He’s a practical and optimistic person for the most part, so he wants to conquer all of this,” Natalia stated. “I told him how we all felt and that we were sorry. I also told him some of my suspicions on what I think is going on. I’ve heard rumours, but talk to Clint about it later. I don’t want to spend any more time today worrying about that headache.”

 

“Did you see Tony?” Steve questioned curiously.

 

“Yeah, he was still fuming, but I think I got through to him a little,” Natalia mused. “I definitely shocked the crap out of him when I told him we were together and that I’m pregnant. You should have seen his face, it was brilliant!”

 

“I can imagine,” Steve snorted. “And I can imagine all too well the flair with which you informed him.”

 

“You know me,” Natalia replied smugly.

 

“Yeah and I miss you,” Steve sighed as he settled further into the pile of pillows at the head of his bed. “I’m in bed and wish you were here beside me.”

 

“What a coincidence, so am I,” Natalia replied playfully. “Though, I bet you aren’t wearing anything as interesting as that Petra black and nude lingerie set from Agent Provocateur that you liked, like how I am.”

 

“Wha-” Steve gulped.

 

“The one with the floral embroidery,” Natalia continued casually before voice became decidedly seductive. “With the pretty little bows and tiny cut outs down the front and back of the briefs... I ordered the ouvert, you know. I’m wearing the suspenders too, and a pair of seamed silk stockings.”

 

Steve’s breathing had increased in depth. He was staring at the twitching lump in his pants. 

 

“Why Natalia?” He asked in Russian. “You know this just makes me want to fuck you. So cruel.”

 

“I’m wearing those crimson shoes you like so much too,” Natalia added, continuing in English. “The Ralph and Russo ones with rose gold leaves curling up the stiletto.”

 

Steve groaned deep. “Natalia, you’re pushing me to the end of my tether here.”

 

“Well then, why don’t you and I do something about that?” Natalia purred. “Because guess what I found that we’d forgotten all about?”

 

“What, doll?” Steve rumbled with a smirk. He half couldn’t believe where things were heading. “Tell me.”

 

“Do you remember what we made after I came back from Rio?” Natalia enquired in a velvety tone.

 

Steve’s breath hitched. Of course he remembered. They had a heap of dirty fun seriously misusing Stark tech by commandeering a 3-D printer for their needs. There were kits out there available for purchase, but Natalia wouldn’t be Natalia if she didn’t try to outdo the status quo. They spent a deliciously hot session scanning and creating a mould so they could mix up some pink flesh-toned silicone and pour it into the cast of his cock and stuck a multi-setting vibrator in it while it set. Right then Natalia had an exact copy of his dick within reach.

 

“I remember,” Steve growled.

 

“Are you sure the door’s locked, babe? I wouldn’t want us to be disturbed,” Natalia enquired. Steve leapt up and checked the door, checked the sliding door leading to the balcony and vigorously tugged the curtains shut even though they were on a remote control setting.

 

“Done,” Steve huffed gruffly.

 

“Do you know how sexy your voice is, Steve?” Natalia asked. “I get goosebumps all where I want you to touch me when I hear it?”

 

“And where would that be?” Steve murmured as he sat back down on the bed.

 

Natalia chuckled and answered him: “Well, right now I want your hands sliding up my calves, over the curves of my thighs. These stockings, they’re so soft. I love the way they feel different to my skin.”

 

“Which is a different kind of silky,” Steve interjected.

 

“Yeah,” Natalia sighed. “I miss the feel of your hands. They’re just the right kind of rough. But they know just how to appreciate me. They know that I love it when you squeeze my hips just so before sliding up to my waist and moving on to caress the curve of my breasts as your very talented tongue licks up the furrow dividing my torso.

 

“It makes me so wet, Steve. It makes me want to touch myself. I want to plunge this vibrator inside me and fuck myself like how you want, babe. Do you want me to do that, Steve? I’ll put it where you want.”

 

“Damn it, Natalia,” Steve ground out, his mind flooding with all the possibilities so fast it hurt.

 

“Do you want me to put this dick that’s exactly like yours up my pussy, Steve?” Natalia purred with feigned innocence.

 

Steve groaned low, before taking a deep breath listening to the slight pants of his lover on the other end of the line. “No.”

 

“Hmm?” Natalia replied a little confused.

 

“I want you to put that vibrator down beside you. We’ll get to it later. I’ve extensive plans for the doppelganger,” Steve in a dark rolling rumble of a tone. He lay back on his bed and switched his phone from his right hand to his left and the accompanying ear. “What I want you to do, is to slowly slip off those bra straps. Feel how smooth your skin is under them. Enjoy how that smooth warmth extends over your fucking exquisite breasts. I’m thinking about how juicy they feel in my hands, how they feel full enough to smother me when I fuck them. ”

 

“I like when you touch my breasts,” Natalia sighed.

 

“Do like my fingers or my mouth?” Steve asked.

 

“Both…” She rasped.

 

“Are your nipples out, doll?”

 

“Yeah, they’re as stiff as little pebbles.”

 

“Put your thumbs in your mouth for me. Make sure they’re good and wet for me,” Steve instructed. “Now cup your tits and stroke up to your nipples, babe.” He could hear Natalia whimper in approval.

 

“Flick those nipples with your thumbs, doll. Light and slow, like how my tongue teases them,” Steve said. “Is it good babe?”

 

“So good, Steve,” Natalia answered. Picturing her, Steve’s penis had swelled to full turgidity. It stuck up and arched towards his belly under his dusky blue pyjamas pants. A wet spot had begun to form on the fabric and so he peeled the waistband down and over his erection to his mid-thighs, careful not to touch it, but fully intent on torturing himself a little with patience as he stared down at his own weeping slit on the tip of his cock.

 

“Little circles around them then. Let me hear how you enjoy that,” Steve guided before he paused to listen to Natalia’s mewling. “Now squeeze your tits as hard as you can handle babe, and pull those nipples up to the sky for me.”

 

Natalia keened and pleaded: “I want to touch my pussy now, Steve. Can I?”

 

“Not yet, darlin’,” Steve told her. “Think about me kissing you: My tongue tracing the edge of your mouth. Think about how soft I kiss down your neck and how I bite just hard enough above your pulse point. I can almost taste your peach-sweet skin, thinking about it. Think about me kissing down your belly. You said there are little keyholes cut out down the front of your panties- there’s two, right? That’s what I remember, with the little black bows.”

 

“Yeah, there’s two,” Natalia susurrated.

 

“Thank fuck for eidetic memory,” Steve chuckled. “I want you to trace the edges of that top little cut out, babe. How does it feel?”

 

“Like I want more,” Natalia griped.

 

“You can touch the second little cut out then,” Steve smiled. “How does that feel?”

 

“I still want more.”

 

“Can you stick your finger down that cut out and touch your clit, Natshechka?” Steve enquired. He was answered with a pleased hum.

 

“Steve, I can feel my juices trickling down my lips. I can smell how horny I am,” Natalia informed him. The sensory memory of that ate at his resolve and Steve stroked his finger up and down the ridge on the underside of his cock and grasped his sack to fondle as he listened to his sexy redhead.

 

“How horny are you?” Steve tried to gauge.

 

“I’m aching, babe.” Steve pulled away from himself as he sucked in a breath in response. He’d end up finished before she got started at this rate.

 

“Then I want you to pick up that vibrator and set it to the slowest pulse, honey,” Steve instructed. “Suck it into your mouth and get it slick. Now, press the tip against your pussy. Just over your clit. Open your legs up wide for this okay?”

 

He was answered by Natalia’s cracked moan.

 

“Are you touching yourself too, babe?” Natalia whimpered wantonly.

 

“Nah, I’m fuckin’ hard though. I’m waiting ‘til you’ve got that doppelganger of mine in you. It’ll be like I’m fucking you and watching at the same time. Wouldn’t that be fucking amazing if we could do that for real, Natalia?”

 

“We can do that when I get my claws back on you, you handsome lug,” Natalia laughed lustily. “Let me put this doppelganger of yours inside me. Let me put ‘Steven’ inside me, please?”

 

“Open that slit of your ouvert up for me. Use your fingers to spread it wide now.”

 

“It’s all open, Steve. My pussy lips are so wet and I’m spreading them too.”

 

“Good girl,” Steve praised. He reached down to run his thumb lightly over his slit, wetting his digits before he took his head in hand and squeezed out more ooze to slicken himself with. “Now slide that dick up inside you nice and slow.”

 

“All the way?”

 

“Yeah all the way. And turn it up one notch,” Steve ordered. The next setting was a more powerful pulse but in the same rhythm. Steve palmed himself absently as he listened to Natalia’s panting.

 

“My love, you have to touch yourself,” Natalia gasped. “I want to feel this with you. Squeeze your cock like how this vibe is filling me and pulsing inside me.”

 

“I am, darlin’. You sound so hot, I couldn’t help myself anymore.” Steve gripped his cock and grunted his pleasure at the increased contact. He started to squeeze rhythmically and returned his focus to Natalia.

 

“Natalia, rub your clit for me. Pinch it, play with it.” After a few moments of Natalia’s heavy breathing and whimpers, she desperately protested.

 

“Steve, I need to shove this thing up inside me. I want to fucking ride it hard!”

 

“Do it, babe. Work it your pussy hard with it,” Steve growled. “Let me hear that voice, Nat. Tell me how you feel, beautiful.”

 

“It hurts so good. I want to come so bad, Steve. My juices are soaking the sheets now.”

 

“Natshechka, stop.”

 

“No!” Natalia huffed in exasperation. He could tell that she did though.

 

“Are your suspenders over or tucked under your panties, darlin’?” Steve asked as he continued to play with himself tracing his fingers lightly over his taught skin and tweaking at his turgidity.

 

“Under, of course. Bad girls always wear their suspenders tucked under so you can slide their panties off easily,” Natalia replied seductively.

 

“Slide them off then,” Steve commanded. “But keep that vibrator in your pussy… Have you got them off?”

 

“Yes, they’re soaked,” Natalia told him.

 

“Do they smell good?” Steve purred as he ran his finger down his ridge and over his perineum.

 

“So fucking good,” Natalia answered deviously.

 

“Do they taste good?” Steve asked stroking the base of his cock and waggling the length haphazardly as his did. “I want you to suck at the wetness babe. How do you taste?”

 

“Horny, heady, salty- a little sweet,” Natalia moaned in pleasure.

 

“Good,” Steve approved, turning his touch to tracing his slit delicately and stifling a moan. “Now crank that vibrator up as high it can go babe.”

 

“Fuck that’s a lot!” Natalia squawked.

 

“Is it too much, honey? You can take it down a little,” Steve suggested to her.

 

“No, it’s just intense,” she assured him.

 

“Can you take that, babe? Because I want you to tilt your hips so it can touch your g-spot. Bend your knees and keep your legs wide, doll. Can you do that?”

 

“I’m doing it, Steve,” Natalia replied. She struggled unsuccessfully to supress a yip.

 

“Good, doll,” Steve said as he enclosed his hand around his shaft and began to stroke himself, twisting his grip as he did. “Rub your clit real hard too. I’m jerking off furiously right now so I can finish with you, my love.”

 

They listened to each other’s carnal noises as they went at themselves with each other, masturbating enthusiastically. The sound of their own blood thundering around their arteries mingled with the slap of slick progress assailed their ears. Steve could tell by Natalia’s protesting sobs that she was just about to go over the edge in a few moments and he tightened his hold on his shaft to jerk more roughly. The sound of her squeal of ecstasy ripped his orgasm from him and he grunted his own messy orgasm into his hand. Spurts of white cream shot up into the air and landed on his stomach and pelvis. He kept tugging at himself to prolong the sweet sensation flooding his nervous system and managed to milk out a few extra globs of hot stickiness.

 

“Thank you, Natshechka,” Steve wheezed.

 

“Fuck, babe,” Natalia mewled. “Thank you, fuck! I’m a mess.”

 

Steve laughed out loud. “Me too, Nat; me too.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Steve’s satisfied for now.


	14. Sundae Layers (Part 1: The Part Where They Broke the Ledger)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would say that this one is triggery, because of themes of discrimination against any group. Also, don’t be offended by my choice of poetry. It was included to help you consider the world closely.

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Fourteen

 

Sundae Layers (Part 1: The Part Where They Broke the Ledger)

Two or three angels

Came near to the earth.

They saw a fat church.

Little black streams of people

Came and went in continually.

And the angels were puzzled

To know why the people went thus,

And why they stayed so long within.

― Stephen Crane

 

Sunday, 26 June 2016

Natalia had to admit that she did like the cover life Nick Fury had organised for her to some extent. She was now living in Windhoek, Namibia as Francesca Harvard, wife of Kyle Harvard, who was a security consultant working for a multi-national company further up on the African continent. She had her own little ballet school that catered to the little girls and a few boys of Pionierspark. It was peaceful, and the winter that she was living through was like a Siberian summer.

 

It was an excellent choice of hideaway really- no one would ever think to run away to Namibia. But the country had no extradition treaty with the USA, and the city was so small, surrounded by mountainous area and in the middle of an arid country. It was not really villain-hideout-central and it had all the essential amenities she needed.

 

The only thing missing, which she would have loved the option of having, was Steve’s physical presence. It had been nearly two months since they’d last been within each other’s grasp and the absence had made Natalia’s heart certain.

 

They did what they could though, and had daily conversations over the phone. It was something that even fit in with Natalia’s cover life, because surely a young husband far away from his pregnant wife would call often to check up on her. Though, if Steve ever had to actually be in Namibia they might blow their cover. His accent skills were abysmal. He could pull off several American dialects, English Received Pronunciation and several county specific Irish accents, but he’d never manage to get Namibian. The first time he tried, he sounded like an Australian. The second time he tried, he sounded like T’Challa. Perfecting a Windhoek accent was Steve’s current homework. She was making him watch South African soap operas so he could have a passable basis to work from. It probably wasn’t going to work very well. Natalia was considering making him speak solely in German if he ever had to come to Windhoek for her.

 

Listening to his progress reading over the phone was extremely frustrating. Usually, if Natalia helped coach someone’s accent, she could see their mouth and could help by pointing out what mechanics they were getting wrong. Their conversations these days were strictly audio, so she was left trying to imagine what Steve’s mouth was doing, which led to thinking too much about Steve’s mouth and kissing his mouth and so forth. Accent coaching usually only lasted about four minutes before Natalia would change the subject.

 

Their calls were scheduled for every morning, and when he could- which was often- Steve would call before he went to bed. Wakanda, which used Central African Time, was only an hour ahead, and that was because it was winter in Namibia. It was the only Southern African nation to have adopted daylight savings time, which you would think would have made a pleasurable addition to Natalia’s schedule as she found herself a little sleepy due to her pregnant state, but Steve only ever operated on Steve time, which meant Natalia was waking up at four thirty to speak to him as he talked to her from the top of a small mountain he ran up every morning. Everyone else had cited the excuse that dangerous animals were more active at dawn and dusk to skip out on the early morning training, and T’Challa had a thing about training in solitude.

 

It was at such an early hour that Natalia and Steve were discussing domestic issues.

 

“Steve, why’d you buy more of those shares?” Natalia asked as she scrolled through Steve’s investment profile along with her own. One had to always have some kind of money to fall back on, and financial trails were really difficult to follow in reality if you knew how to beat the system which was an art that Natalia had as an essential skill. “Didn’t you read that report I sent you?”

 

“Are we talking about that energy company?” Steve asked on the other end of the line. “I hadn’t gotten a chance to yet. Clint told Cooper to ask me to explain what a ‘Coney Island White Fish’ is and its importance in the ecosystem.”

 

“I am going to kick his ass,” Natalia muttered as she set out breakfast things for herself and provisioned her daily dose of pre-natal vitamins. “You have to sell. They’ve been touting themselves as eco-friendly and now they just announced plans to invest in fracking.”

 

“It is a swear word on a science-fiction show for some cosmic reason,” Steve grumbled. “I’ll do that when I get back to the palace.”

 

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked with concern. Midway through their calls Steve would insist on a heart to heart about emotions. He said it was because he wasn’t there with her to sense her moods and read her like he usually did. Her voice could lead him to believe anything she wanted, but he could always draw out the truth in her energy. No one else did that. It had made her wonder whether her skills were slipping when Steve first told her. Clint and people like Victoria could read her by referring to a long-compiled mental dictionary on the behaviour she showed them, but Steve said he sensed conflict. He couldn’t understand why the understanding of her energy that contrasted with what she was showing him niggled subtly at the edge of his mind. The whole thing had gotten her riled up, but then Steve theorised that perhaps Natalia was subconsciously asking him to notice that there was a conflict. She thought about that for a long time, and still thought about it periodically.

 

“Just looking at myself in the mirror feels a little confusing. It’s like a little jolt out of place,” Natalia sighed. “I haven’t had jet-black hair in ages. And really, the clothes are dowdy. The specs make me look pinched. I look a far-cry from the vixen you are used to. Yet, I fit in here. I’m just a middle-class woman who dresses in bleh chunky waterfall cardigans and is starting to show a tiny bit.”

 

“I wish I could see that,” Steve mumbled. “The baby-bump. Clint was wondering aloud about when you would start looking like you were carrying a bean-bag in your blouse. Really, it is not a good thing to have Clint and Sam back together again- Sam ends all of Clint’s jibes at me with a drum and cymbals flourish. I think they’re luring Bucky over to their side, because he doesn’t even try to stifle his smirks anymore. Anyway I wish I could experience that with you. Not photos but touch…”

 

Natalia inhaled and exhaled deeply, not knowing what to say to comfort Steve or herself for that matter. The television played in the foreground as Natalia took in the news on her periphery, absently switching from US to Non-US news channels to gain a sense of perspective on what was happening in the world. She had just flicked past CNN when she registered something unusual and switched back to the channel.

 

“Steve,” Natalia said measuredly. “Are you still on top of that mountain?”

 

“No, I’m walking down, babe,” Steve told her, with a note of inquisitive interest in his voice.

 

“Do you have a laptop or tablet with you or something?”

 

“I have a tablet in my pack,” Steve replied. “Why? What is it?”

 

“Stream CNN,” Natalia instructed. She could hear him rustle about unzipping a backpack in the background, but it was very far down on her sensory input priority list.

 

“What is it, Nat? It may take me little while to connect to the internet since I am walking through thick brush and I probably should be watching for large cats,” Steve continued.

 

“They’re running a breaking news report on my apparent death,” Natalia whispered.

 

“What!” Steve exclaimed.

 

“They’re saying the ranch that I was supposed to have retired to was bombed. They said they found a body,” Natalia reported. On screen there was footage of an inferno disrupting the darkness of an Arizona night. “Hold on, I have to check my messages, Steve.”

 

“Nat, are you safe?” Steve’s voice questioned urgently. “Are you compromised?”

 

She ignored Steve’s demands as she looked down at her phone and checked through message apps, trying to ignore her shaking hands. Just as she was about to let a note of panic slip into her mind, a message alert bleeped on her screen.

 

‘I’m alive and fucking pissed!’ It was from Mystique. A second message followed immediately: ‘I’ll call in one minute.’

 

“Steve, I’m going to have to take a call from Raven right now. I just got a message from her claiming that she’s alive,” Natalia said as she put the phone back to her ear.

 

“Holy fucking shit, Nat!” Steve cried. He was watching the footage. “That looks like a drone attack! On domestic soil.”

 

“I know,” Natalia replied. She looked up at the television dazedly and then shook her head to get her mind back in the game. “They’re going with terrorist attack so far.”

 

“Link me with your call from Mystique, I want to hear what she has to say,” Steve demanded.

 

“There’s her ring now,” Natalia said, pressing the appropriate buttons to set up the conference call.

 

“What happened?” Natalia asked immediately.

 

“What, no ‘are you okay’?” the smooth voice of Mystique asked sarcastically. “I take it you’ve seen the news then?”

 

“Yes, I’m looking at it. You and I both know that you’d never call me if you were bleeding out or something,” Natalia countered. “You’d consider it too highly priced a favour to owe me.”

 

“Can we get to the ‘what happened’ part?” Steve interjected.

 

“What’s this Natalia? Getting your sister into a three-way with a man I’ve never met,” Mystique bantered with affected coquetry.

 

“You are obviously fine if you’ve got time for jokes,” Natalia concluded.

 

“No, I’m not,” Mystique hissed. “I’m really fucking pissed because the wonderful little pink, yellow and brown regular boring humans just killed someone I was trying to help!”

 

“It’s a real body?” Steve asked hesitantly.

 

“Yeah,” Mystique sighed. “ _It_ was a _she_ : A teen girl from the nearby town who had just come into her mutant powers. Her family kicked her out and I ran into her and told her she could stay with me for the night while I organised somewhere safe for her to go.”

 

“Shit,” Natalia hissed, holding her head in her hands as they all absorbed that for what it was. She actually heard the tail end of a ‘Hail Mary’ being mumbled faintly by Steve as she gathered her wits. It was only on the really shit days where nothing they did helped or could have helped in any probability that she had seen his lips silently form the barest traces of the familiar phrasing. His eyes would be shut as he sat beside her while she piloted and there could be no words those days. Inside each member of their old team there were only emotions, no worded thoughts, and the air around them was so thick with the intense overflow of feeling they had to trudge through it, but there were no words.

 

“What exactly occurred, Mystique?” Natalia asked with concise determination.

 

“I brought the girl back with me to the ranch, her name was Olivia,” Mystique explained. “She was pretty banged up anyway. I didn’t get to asking her just what happened. She was traumatised, but I could see that aside from the scrapes and cuts she got while trying to run away that someone had physically beat her. Her eyes, the irises were pale pink- she was beautiful…

 

“I went into town wearing another skin. I usually go disguised as a workman from the ranch just in case people recognise the Black Widow and want to get chatty. I needed to get some pain meds for Olivia - that’s what I’d been going there for in the first place when I came across her. I had run out because an old friend had pitched up bleeding. Is there any place in the country where Mutants are welcome? Any place in the fucking world?

 

“Olivia must’ve still been asleep when it happened. I was driving back. It was definitely a drone.”

 

“This is crazy,” Steve murmured. “I’m so sorry, Mystique.”

 

“It’s getting worse,” Natalia commented as she concentrated on the television screen and turned the volume up.

 

“… Initial reports have offered the suggestion that this may be a terrorist attack,” the grave-faced Hispanic-American news anchor reported. “But other experts have theorised that this may have been a HYDRA attack, and the mastermind they claim might have been responsible for this deplorable act is none other than past national hero, Steve Rogers, the former Captain America.”

 

“Holy fuck,” Mystique whispered.

 

“You both heard that, right?” Natalia asked.

 

“That is the most…” Steve spluttered. “God! I’ve even had Professor X, Dr Grey _and_ Wanda check me.”

 

“Steve we know you’re not HYDRA,” Natalia reassured him. “There’s no way you could ever be HYDRA. It’s just not logical. I would have noticed if you were HYDRA. No one will believe that.”

 

“They fucking hated us because of Sokovia and Lagos and so many other events, Natalia,” Steve countered. “They’re killing innocent kids, while trying to kill you and they’re blaming me. It’s so crazy and audacious, people might actually believe it.”

 

“Shit, we’ve got to assure the essential parties that I’m not dead,” Natalia reminded them. “My phone is already lighting up with Rhodey’s ID. Steve, tell everyone in Wakanda. Mystique, are you safe? Do you need passage?’

 

“No, I’m going to stick to my emergency exit plan,” Mystique replied pensively. “I want to get that girl some vengeance, but fucking drones! I need to think this out. Speak to you later.”

 

Mystique hung up and Natalia picked up Rhodey’s call. She immediately rattled off the number sequence that she had trained each Avenger individually to learn and reply to with their own unique code. James Rhodes replied with his code, and sighed in relief.

 

“Nat?” Rhodey spoke up before she could proceed to greet.

 

“I’m alive. That’s not me. And there’s no fucking way that Steve was behind it,” Natalia told him.

 

“Yes, there is no fucking way, Rhodey,” Steve reiterated.

 

“Well that’s really good because I really would have to kill you, Steve,” Tony’s voice interjected. “We were woken up by media outlets wanting comment on this.”

 

“Hello Tony,” Steve greeted stiffly.

 

“Blah blah, let’s skip forward to the part where we deal with this crisis,” Tony rushed.

 

“All you have to do is not do anything crazy. Act sensible,” Natalia instructed. “A Mutant teenage girl was killed in this. And it looks like it was a drone attack on US domestic soil. We’ll deal with the fucking chaos as it rolls.”

 

“But-” Tony began.

 

“It’s an attempt on my life, Stark- I’ll deal with this. I’ve got a shit storm of potential disaster to navigate. Now go ignore the media and speak sense and be true to what you know of people’s character if you do blurt anything out,” Natalia commanded. “Rhodey, keep him on a leash. This will be a category five hurricane for all of us if we let it become that.”

 

Natalia cut Rhodes’ line from the call and saw messages from Victoria who was in Madagascar on a job and several texts from Fury in all caps.

 

“Steve,” Natalia said.

 

“I’m almost back to the palace. I don’t think most people are awake yet,” Steve said, huffing a little from the exertion.

 

“I’m coming to you,” Natalia declared decisively. “They won’t be impressed to find me alive and hiding out here.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stumbled on the poem I headed this up with while thinking up the chapter title. I felt like it fit the chapter, and the themes of what humanity can do, especially to each other and while knowing they are doing wrong yet still assure themselves they are doing right. 
> 
> Note: A Coney Island White Fish is a slang euphemism for a condom. Apparently due to littering (ew) you could find used condoms washed up under the pier around Coney Island (Ew, ew, ew, ew, EW!). I don’t know the current state of the beaches there, but I hope they’ve been cleaned up!


	15. Sundae Layers (Part 2: Manna)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this is late. I just got so upset over discrimination against pupils at my high school alma mater that has been all over the news this weekend and especially today. I could not edit until I calmed. I have to write them a scathing letter after I post this and I’m seriously considering pulling my connections in order to get it published in a national newspaper. These things should just not be happening in this day and age.

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Fifteen

 

Sundae Layers (Part 2: Manna)

 

Natalia frowned as she deftly darned the cotton in her hands. The motions were therapeutic in a way. She could think with less emotion tied to her thoughts, or she could choose not to think at all except for what she was doing in the present moment: She was sewing. While absently minding the autopilot settings of the Quinjet she was piloting to Wakanda.

 

It wasn’t often that she sewed material these days; usually it was skin and muscle that she knitted together. But a Red Room graduate was expected to be able to do anything, and that included needlework. Her training proved useful in that moment, even if it was for some frivolous reason. Her mind clung to the frivolity as a respite from the heavy thoughts about what had happened in Arizona and what accusations were being bandied about on the news stations. Ideas on what to do filled her with such knots in her stomach that she delayed further thinking on the matter until the meeting they were to have once she arrived at the Wakandan Royal Palace. Every path looked terrible and although she knew she could handle it, she was beginning to worry more about how the world she currently lived in would affect the Beans. It was a question of advanced risk calculation and Natalia needed her calculations to run on their own at the back of her mind, and to put her focus on something else.

 

So she spent two hours of the four hour flight to Wakanda modifying a conservative maxi-dress that ballet teacher Francesca Harvard owned into something more befitting of Natalia Romanova. Natalia Romanova was going to be reuniting with her love, Steve Rogers, after being separated for two months, having a huge argument, going on a break, fighting on opposite sides of a stupid battle that was the result of being manipulated by malignant forces and then going on the run for fear of being targeted by legalised actions ordered by those same malignant forces, which then turned out to be a justified and realised fear. She could not do that looking like a blob of comfort.

 

Naturally, the only normal clothes she had with her in Namibia fitted in with her cover life, and she could not afford the risk of going out to buy anything new. Her morning had been spent sculpting the chaos into a quick getaway. She had to close the ballet school and let her students’ parents and her neighbours know that she had to leave the country because her husband had gotten injured at work and had to be hospitalised abroad. She needed to be by his side, and so she’d be leaving immediately. She left the possibility for return open because one never knew when they might need the option.

 

The dress had had a short sleeved button-down blouse bodice that was fitted right up to her natural waistline. From there it flared out. With that shape and the medium-sized red and green tulip print on a black background fabric, you had to look twice to notice the little baby bump she was sporting. It had elements of boldness in its original design, but the execution really made her blend into the background. Therefore she removed the collar, buttons and button holes to create a plunging v-neckline that met just where her sternum ended. She used the excess fabric to create a belt band that hid the seam between the bodice and the skirt. She might not have been the perfect hourglass that she’d been when she last saw her man, but she’d look damn sexy.

 

There was nothing she could do about her hair colour- there was no time to strip it back to its original colour- but she decided to keep a few of the long clip-ins that gave her waist-length tresses. She already had a soft fringe that kissed her eyelashes, and she hadn’t given a thought to changing it. Flying over several tropical countries with tropical weather in play was not conducive to hair-cutting.

 

The instruments on her console indicated that she should expect heavy rain when she entered Wakandan airspace and Natalia finished up her alterations so she would be free to pilot. She changed and slipped into the dress, which she had to wear without a bra. It highlighted her cleavage in a beautiful subtle way that still made one very aware of the fullness of her bust. The Widow's Bracelets were standard. Pale gold strappy heels on her feet and a dab and swish of a glossy stain on her lips and she had to resolve herself to her appearance because the Wakandan daily equatorial rain was a true downpour and she needed her full concentration and skill.

 

A few minutes later she was hailed by Wakandan Air Force ground control officials. Once she was given special clearance it was only a matter of twenty minutes before she spotted the lit up landing strip of the Wakandan Royal Palace. There were two figures waiting under a large dark umbrella in the deluge, despite a hangar being only a few yards away. Though the air was thick with water, she instantly recognised the two figures as she passed them to guide her ship into the open hangar where a few Royal ground staff directed her to a bay. She quickly ran through all of her landing and disembarkation protocols before she stood as calmly as she could and lowered the landing ramp.

 

The sound of the rain drummed in a blurred rhythm against the roof, but it was not loud enough to drown out regular sound. The two figures had come in from the rain and Steve Rogers was handing a rather groomed Bucky Barnes a wet umbrella. Natalia only had eyes for Steve though, and Steve’s gaze was determinedly fixed upon her. He was dressed in blue jeans, an inky blue t-shirt and khaki green hiking boots. Natalia’s heart trilled confronted with his image.   

 

He strode up to her without breaking eye contact and cupped her face with his large hands, dropped his head to bring his lips to hers and kissed her soundly. Steve continued to press his mouth against Natalia’s with just enough force that he had her keeling backwards into a dip that he secured her in with an arm around her waist and his other hand curled around the back of her neck. He started to walk off with Natalia in his hold, dragging her deftly in the dip with her heels scraping against the concrete floor, and making her wonder fleetingly if he had been paying a lot more attention than she thought he had during Thor’s recorded ‘Dancing With The Stars’ episode binge-fests.

 

Natalia found herself in a shut supply room at the corner of the hangar when Steve drew back and she opened her eyes again.

 

“Hi,” he murmured.

 

“Hi,” she smiled back.

 

Steve hugged her close, burying his nose in her hair and inhaling deeply. His grip tightened around her and Natalia returned the fierceness of the embrace. Soon though, she felt his grip had become so hard she found it a bit difficult to breathe.

 

“Steve,” Natalia prompted. “I need air.”

 

“Sorry,” Steve mumbled as he relaxed his arms and pulled back to look down at her. He tenderly kissed her temple, her cheek, both of her eyes, the side of her mouth, her chin, and her neck then returned to her mouth to linger there. His hands rubbed up and down her back, gripping her flesh as though he was trying to make sure she was solid and real. His right hand slid down and around her waist to rest carefully on her belly. Natalia peeked up to read his expression and saw a joyful little smile paired with a pained frown on his visage. He kissed her harder and wrapped his left hand in the hair at her nape.

 

“I was so worried- scared that-” Steve started to explain as he kissed her cheekbone and hair as he wrapped himself tight around her again. “What if I lost you?”

 

“I’m here, Steve,” Natalia assured him. “I’m here and I’m ready to kick fucking ass. No one messes with me and mine.”

 

“Natalia,” Steve chided as he pulled back again to cup her jaw in his hands. “A drone. If you weren’t so smart and well-trained then… And even, Mystique, that girl Olivia. How could they?”

 

“Steve, we’ll handle it. We will avenge them- it’s what we do,” Natalia told him determinedly.

 

“I know,” Steve said. “But you’re the good dream that came true for me. It’s only starting. I can’t let you slip away. Everything will be a nightmare without you. I’ll be a nightmare. I’ll be worse than the HYDRA smear phantom they’re trying to paint me as. My vengeance will be hell because my heart will be gone. My soul will have given up.”

 

“Don’t say that, Steve,” Natalia whispered. “They could never destroy the strength that is your heart and your soul.”

 

“Natalia, you and I both know that I have this darkness in me. My life has been war- I can’t get away from it. If I try, all signs point me back to the fact that I was made for this,” Steve said levelly. “It’s okay, because I deal with the darkness by trying to make sure the pile of guilt that grows in me fuels the need to ensure that right is done. I need to keep within narrow lines so I don’t become what I don’t ever want to be. But if they take away the person that brings me the most joy in my life, the woman I discovered a love I never imagined I could have because I really had no idea it could feel this way, then they kill my compassion. Someone knows this. And I’m not fucking letting them win.”

 

“Steve,” Natalia replied as she caressed down his cheek with the back of her hand. “‘In darkness there is always moonlight, or at the very least the stars. Have you seen the Milky Way in the darkness? It’s the holiest kind of beauty.’ That’s what you said to me all those months ago after Ultron when I was shattered. Your words drew me back to what felt right and that’s you. I knew you were essential to my life. And I believe your words, I believe in you. I believe in us.”

 

Steve kissed her hard again. He kissed softly down her neck, pressing her into the wall behind her as he made his way down her body.

 

“It’s not red, but I still like this look on you,” Steve said as he kissed a lock of her still-black hair as he let it slip through his fingers. He kissed down her collarbones and sternum, being especially gentle in the valley between her breasts and pressing his mouth lightly to the inner curves of her bosom. His breath ran hot and ragged above her belly for a few pants before he laid his forehead against her and pressed the most endearing two kisses over her abdomen and the Beans.

 

Natalia wrapped her arms around his head as Steve wrapped his around her hips, his shallow breathing an indicator of the emotional state he was in. He was on his knees and she was pretty sure he was on the verge of tears and if they didn’t get a hold of themselves she was going to cry too. Natalia nudged Steve’s chin up with her crooked index finger so that he looked up at her. His blue eyes with the tiniest flecks of green gazed back up at her earnestly.  

 

“You’re so beautiful,” Steve whispered in amazement. “I missed you so much. Natalia, I love you with double everything I’ve got and then some.”

 

“I love you too. I’m so happy to be with you now,” Natalia whispered back as she traced the line of his jaw with her fingertips. “Steve, missing you was an ache that I hated to endure. I don’t want to have to ever be away from you. I found myself distracted all the time thinking about these beautiful eyes, that mouth and damn it everything! But most of all I missed the presence of your soul. I missed feeling you there. I missed the way we love together. I missed the way we laugh together. I missed my favourite side-kick.”

 

Steve chuckled at her words and drew his hands up her thighs to grab hold of her hands as they rested in a point under his chin. He brought her knuckles up to his lips and kissed them before smiling goofily up at her.

 

“Y’know, I am on my knees,” Steve pointed out. Natalia’s eyes widened in realisation.

 

“No fucking way, Rogers!” She scolded. “Tender moment aside, you are not doing this in a supply closet of a frikkin’ aircraft hangar! You are not doing this to me next to a mop! This is the only time this has happened to me where I wasn’t being ordered to comply or on a mission. Do better, or so help me I’ll- y’know what, I’ll just have amnesia about this right here and you can think about this and do better.”

 

“No, I’m just foolishly deviating from ‘the better’ that I already planned,” Steve gushed. “Sorry, I got too overwhelmed and what’s the time?” He quickly glanced at his watch and jumped up. The sound of the rain pelting down on the metal roof had quietened down significantly. Steve pecked her lips again sheepishly as Natalia glared at him, before he slipped his hand around hers and opened up the door to the supply room.

 

Across the hangar Clint, Bucky and Laura were hanging around trying to act casual. But Steve did not have time for pleasantries with them. Natalia barely managed a wave, before Steve mumbled “Good the rain’s stopped.”

 

He tugged her to him and picked her up bridal-style as he darted out of the hangar.

 

“Steve, I’m capable of walking,” Natalia protested drolly as she secured her arms more comfortably around his neck and shoulder.

 

“Puddles, mud and you don’t know where I’m going,” Steve reasoned with her. “Also, there are slippery rocks and some territorial creatures that live in holes we’re going to pass.”

 

“I’m still capable of running a trail. I’ve done so in platforms all throughout the seventies, and if you hadn’t noticed, my shoes in my Black Widow get-up are heels,” Natalia continued teasingly.

 

“You got me,” Steve admitted with a smirk. “I just want to hold you.”

 

“So where are you carrying me off to, my sexy caveman?” Natalia jested. They were on a trail that was covered by a canopy of vibrantly green trees. The sun had begun to come out and dappled bits of light shone through the leaves.

 

“The mountain I climb every morning and afternoon,” Steve informed her.

 

“A whole damn mountain, Steve? That you take an hour to hike up at a running pace?” Natalia questioned with narrowed eyes.

 

“This is a short cut! We’re nowhere the bottom,” Steve elucidated. “If we were, then there’d be crocodiles to watch out for.”

 

“What part of the very many requests and orders for you to ‘be safe’ was not clear?” Natalia asked sarcastically. “Because skipping over crocodiles while no one else is even around does not seem very safe to me.”

 

“It’s really helped me with my spatial awareness,” Steve explained. “Like about forty yards south from us right now, there’s an actual black panther checking us out under a thorn bush.”

 

“Why do you get to do all the cool training?” Natalia mock-complained.

 

“So I get to impress you with little vistas like this,” Steve said as he slowed down to a stop. The trail widened a little to reveal a sort of natural chamber formed by layers of glistening spider webs. The arachnids themselves were still tucked up and recovering from the daily dose of afternoon rain, but their homes were bedecked in little jewels of light.

 

“Oh Steve,” Natalia smiled. “It is picturesque.”

 

“Well then get a load of this,” Steve said as he took a few steps into the sparkling little tree cavern and the change in position revealed an exit that framed a beautiful lush landscape. Steve set Natalia down and she stepped closer to the cliff outside of the cover of the trees.

 

A deep gorge lay at the end of the path. Along one side the white water of a waterfall leapt down the ebony rocks. Stretching across the air, a faint rainbow arced down into the gorge. Natalia looked up and saw that the colours of the sunset faded into the twilight sky from behind them. A mix of that particular orange that belonged solely to the African sky bled into pink, purple and blue, and the colours were intensified on the wisps of dissipating cloud cover.

 

“I talk to you here in the mornings as the sun rises in the foreground,” Steve told her gently as he stood behind her, “and when I come back up here in the afternoons I think of you more. Sometimes, I can’t hold myself back from calling you again from up here. It’s like it’s our own special spot, and I wanted to show it to you. I find peace here, with the view and with the sound of your voice, Natshechka.”

 

He took her hand in his and Natalia turned to face him. Biting his bottom lip, Steve gazed at her thoughtfully before he inhaled deeply and spoke again. “When I come here, I concentrate on us and all the things I hope for the future. I see so many good things to hope for. I see so many experiences that I want to keep on demanding to have with you from life. And it’s here that I could first visualise proposing to you without completely messing it up- though I almost did a little while ago.”

 

Natalia chuckled and balanced on her tip-toes to kiss Steve on the lips sweetly. Taking her other hand so that he could hold them both, Steve grinned widely and bounced a little out of excitement on the balls of his feet before he squeezed her hands and then got down on one knee.

 

“Natalia Alianova Romanova,” Steve began as he gazed up at her. “You and I met a lifetime ago. You had the prettiest green eyes and the slyest smirk I’d ever seen, and sometimes I wonder if I could have come back to Russia to see you dance in the Bolshoi after the war if I would have made myself so hopelessly confused because my heart would have pulled in two different directions.

 

“But that did not happen. This did, and I’m completely convinced now that it all happened for a reason. We could find each other, and learn how to be with each other fully. You get me in ways that no one else does even though they all think I wear my heart on my sleeve. And all I want to do is give you a world where you get to smile from the heart. I’d do anything for you. I want to do everything for you, but I know you’d kick my butt for depriving you of your fun if I even suggested it.

 

“You are the woman I want in my life, because you are the woman for my life, and I want to be the man that can love and support you just the way you need.

 

“You asked me a month ago if we were on the same page in our relationship, and it really had me worried. I thought that you could have slipped right through my fingers again, and that very nearly happened. I panicked. I panicked more when you revealed that we’d created a miracle, which just so happened to be a double blessing. But I’ve had a lot of time to think, and I was determined to face the demons and get to where I could be the man you’d keep wanting.

 

“I realised, Natalia, that it did not matter if we were on the same page all the time. It does not matter if we’re even on the same chapter. We’re reading the same book. We’re reading that book together. And if I think about it, we’ve been _writing_ that book together now for some time. I want my life’s story to be about you, about us together. I want to give you the most beautiful illustrations I can possibly sketch and I want to colour them with the most intense colours because you have given me my most cherished memories Natalia, and damn it, it’s only been this year that I got up the guts to ask you out on a date.

 

“This may have been a fast courtship, but it was a long, long time coming, Natshechka.”

 

Steve let go of her left hand to reach into his pocket and Natalia used the opportunity to quickly swipe the tears that had formed in her eyes away. Steve opened the beige leather box that Natalia had seen once before with one hand and he looked back up into her eyes. The blue sapphire centre stone pulsed with vibrancy, offset by the sparkle of diamonds in the sunset light.

 

“You would make me infinitely happy in this life and the next if you consented to let me share life with you at your side. Natalia, would you please marry me? Marry me so I can love you ‘til the end and beyond. Marry me so I can be your shelter and support whenever you need it. Marry me so I keep getting to experience this insight into heaven that is your love,” Steve proposed. “Natalia, please marry me?”

 

“Yes,” Natalia consented with an enthusiastic nod of her head. Steve slipped the ring onto her finger and it really was a perfect fit, but that was secondary to the urgent need to lay exuberant kisses over Steve’s hair and face and just plain get to his lips.

 

She could taste the tears that choked her as she caressed his lips with hers, but they and the pain in her throat from the too beautiful emotions that were overwhelming her were nothing compared to the saccharine peace of knowing that the moment and the choice and the path they were taking was absolutely meant to be.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you believe that in the middle of writing this I got distracted again?! I decided to chill and watch ‘Magic Mike XXL’ with my sister (because I had missed in it cinema and hadn’t rented it etc). Consequently, I had Genuwine’s ‘Pony’ song in my head. Then, I started imagining a majorly Alternate Universe where Steve, Bucky and Sam were strippers… I am half tempted to write it. I had to slap myself so I could get back to work on this. I’m so bad! I mean just this morning at 3AM I had to keep getting up because I would think up really feels-tastic lines. Then when it’s an appropriate time, I’m like ‘My Pony, Jump on it!’ 
> 
> I had my own little lame spy moments this weekend when I surreptitiously asked my (divorced) parents questions about Namibia and equatorial African countries. They’ve been for work- also my mother is the kind of person who’s like yeah, let’s go to conflict zones, while I’m like I want to eat gold on pastry- so I could get their points of view on what the atmosphere is like. They also both work in politics and security. But of course I couldn’t randomly say ‘hey, I’m writing this erotic fan fiction and I was wondering if I could ask you some things about these particular countries so I can add some colour to my writing that I’m just not getting from all the research I’m doing’. They probably would have been like ‘yep, we should have forced you to be a doctor’. So I just manipulated the conversation to discussing these places nonchalantly. I felt like Natalia gave me a nod of approval. 
> 
> And now, I need to go sharpen my words because they are so much more mightier than swords and stand up for human rights.


	16. Sundae Layers (Part 3: Dice will fall as the Universe wills)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a day late. Second tardiness incident in a row! Time got away from me and I did not want to release anything that was not up to scratch. I’m currently writing chapters the day before and the day of their release.

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

Chapter Sixteen

 

Sundae Layers (Part 3: Dice will fall as the Universe wills)

 

The newly engaged couple were greeted with a round of applause when they returned to the palace. It was obvious that Natalia had consented because they had strolled in holding hands and kissing. There was also the fact that Nat was wearing the ring that they’d all seen and had their opinion sought on as Steve struggled wavering between buyer’s remorse and absolute certainty over the last month.  

 

Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Pietro, Clint, and Laura had chosen to wait for them on the terrace outside the guest quarters. Sam was video-recording the whole thing on his phone. The first to greet them was Bucky, who came in to shake Steve’s hand and then pulled him into a tight bro-hug while Laura rushed to hug Natalia. The two swapped around and Bucky was left standing before Natalia with a crooked sheepish smirk.

 

“Natalia,” Bucky said. His arm prosthetic was a marvel: It was a reconstruction of the musculature of an arm made of a special type of clear plastic, and it was all attached to the vibranium skeletal foundation underneath. It gave him an excellent range of motion, though he had very limited sensory feed from it. His hair was also a really flattering rendition of a short-back-and-sides. With his clean shaven face and much healthier countenance, he was very handsome.

 

“James,” Natalia smiled brightly. They stood staring at each other for a few seconds and Natalia’s smile eased Bucky’s into a more relaxed one.

 

Then she hit him lightning-quick with a throat-punch. Steve reacted instantly ready to put himself in line to protect his future wife, as did the rest of the group, but Natalia had ended the strike gesture with a hand held up to hold them back. Bucky was doubled over coughing.

 

“A bullet, you fucking festering intestine of a syphilitic douche-eating pig!” Natalia ground out at him in Russian. Those that could understand, namely Steve, Clint, Wanda and Pietro, widened their eyes into round comic proportions at her colourful expression.

 

“Did you really have to do that?” Bucky wheezed in Russian between coughs.

 

“Dude, you sound like Gollum,” Sam commented with a nervous snicker. Bucky glared at him quickly before returning his eyes to Natalia, who was the very dangerous immediate threat.

 

“Do you know how big the wound was?” Natalia continued to admonish in her native tongue. “It was huge like a fucking hibiscus. I couldn’t wear bikinis! I was a bikini model- you destroyed my most useful cover!”

 

“That’s what you’re mad about?” Bucky asked hoarsely in English.

 

“No!” Natalia screeched at him, switching to English too. “There were twenty seven other viable pathways you could have taken to get your target, and you chose to shoot me. If you say one word about efficiency-”

 

“They programmed the Winter Soldier for efficiency above everything else,” Bucky protested.

 

It was the wrong thing to say. Natalia grabbed hold of his man-bits and threatened them in the most visceral way.

 

“Dude, she’s got ‘your precious’,” Sam gasped as he fought the giggles.

 

“I’d just say sorry and maybe you’ll get to keep them. Else they’ll land up in the fires of Mordor,” Pietro added dryly with a casual shrug.

 

“My disciples are all grown up,” Clint commented proudly as he sniffled and wiped an imaginary tear away from his eye.

 

“Your next words had better be amazing,” Natalia growled in Bucky’s face.

 

“I am sorry, Natalia. I realise that my actions were stupid. I promise to keep making it up to you until you deem my debt repaid and I shall not protest to anything you demand of me,” Bucky gushed as he fought to keep from passing out in pain.

 

“Good,” Natalia accepted with a nod. “You’ll do well to remember that my favourite torture method is walloping dickheads in the nuts with a heavy knotted rope.”

 

She let go of him and smiled again, “I love the new haircut, Bucky.”

 

Natalia lifted Bucky’s chin with her index finger and pecked his cheek. “I guess you’re going to be my brother-in-law now.”

 

“He made a Pinterest board for your wedding,” Sam interjected.

 

“Stop throwing me back down the dragon-infested ravine, man,” Bucky cried incredulously at Sam.

 

“I can’t, dude. This is the best video since ‘Wanda in Wakanda: Episode One’,” Sam teased.

 

“Get me a copy of this,” Natalia instructed as she hugged Sam.

 

“I have the actual proposal too,” Sam revealed. Natalia looked up at him curiously. “T’Challa repaired and upgraded Redwing with a silent super-stealth mode. He can turn invisible now! I bet you had no idea Redwing was there.”

 

“Which is very disturbing when you think about what could happen if similar modifications were made to military drones,” Natalia baulked. She shook her head and wiggled the tension out and then moved onto hugging Wanda and Pietro tightly before lingering in Clint’s embrace.

 

“T’Challa is still in a meeting with his most trusted advisors. They’ve been informed of the situation and are now debating what their reaction will be,” Clint told Natalia before kissing the top of her head. The rest of the group busied themselves teasing Bucky and interrogating Steve about proposal details. “The kids are really excited to see their Aunty Nat again.”

 

“I’ll be happy to see them again too,” Natalia smiled.

 

“So it’s ‘Natalia’ for sure now? No more ‘Natasha’?” Clint asked perceptively.

 

“‘Natasha’ is still useful. But I’m at peace with ‘Natalia’. She’s ready to be here,” Natalia told him.

 

“I can’t believe you have a baby-bump!” Clint whispered as they turned and he hugged her shoulders with one arm.

 

“I’m freaking out a bit about when it will suddenly pop out. It’s still pretty small. But you’ve seen Steve. They’ll be enormous. I’m worried about natural birth- my poor vagina,” Natalia replied quietly as Laura joined them.

 

“I don’t need to know that,” Clint complained as they headed indoors.

 

“Well you do know that I still can’t sneeze without wetting myself a little after Nathan,” Laura reprimanded. She turned back around and called out in a motherly tone: “Come inside you guys- you’ll get bitten by mosquitoes and be itching all night.”

 

“Y’know, I hope you and Steve have your heads screwed on right and are concentrating on the matter of what to do with this mess,” Clint said nonchalantly. “Because if  all you have planned for later this evening are condomless exploits and there’s superfetation with an extra new Romanogers baby made, then I will be calling them all collectively ‘Magic Beans’.”

 

Laura rolled her eyes and smacked her husband’s butt playfully.

 

“I asked the palace staff to set up something romantic for after the meeting that’s scheduled,” Laura assured Natalia. “Steve doesn’t know, but I figured you guys would need it.”

 

“Thanks,” Natalia said with a smile and a hug. “Can I go see my nephews and niece while we wait for this show to begin?”

 

“Sure,” Clint assented. “Nathan’s sleeping, but Lila and Cooper should be finishing up with their homework by now. Or there is a pillow war going on, which we should intervene in before something breaks.”

 

“Hey Nat,” Clint said as he nudged her shoulder while they walked over to the study where the kids were supposed to be doing homework. “Congratulations. I know Steve’ll make you happy. He promised me. He also knows that if he doesn’t I won’t do anything to him because I won’t have to. You’ll boil him in oil yourself while shredding all his Dodgers memorabilia in front of him.”

 

“Geez,” Natalia smirked. “Why does everyone think I’ll do all these crazy things? You stab a guy in the scrotum once, hang a perv by his disembowelled entrails another time and suddenly you’re the bogey-woman.”

 

“You know you’re banned from scary-story hour at all Barton family campsite fires and Halloween celebrations, right?” Clint chuckled.

 

 

@>-`-,-----

 

 

After dinner a meeting was convened between the ex-Avengers, the remaining X-men and their hosts. Scott had left for a private island of Dr Hank Pym’s to join his daughter Cassie, Scott’s ex-wife and her husband as well as Pym and his daughter Hope, all of whom had decided to go into pre-emptive hiding. Logan and Professor Xavier had returned to their school. Jean Grey had stayed along with Ororo. The redhead was still helping Bucky and was training Wanda to master her mind so she could master her powers.

 

So Natalia, Steve, Sam, Clint, Wanda, Pietro and Bucky- the latter two of which were now honorary Avengers as declared by a majority of the disbanded team- met with T’Challa, Ororo and Jean. Laura decided to join in as well and offered to help where she could.   


 

“I have a Doctorate in Computer Science from Caltech,” Laura shrugged. “Just because I’m a stay-at-home mom doesn’t mean all I can do is keep house.”

 

“She was a hacker with blue hair and black lipstick when I met her,” Clint chipped in.

 

“Any help right now will be welcome,” Natalia assured Laura before the meeting began.

 

They gathered in a secure conference room guarded by T’Challa’s Royal Guards. The women on duty were tall and lean-muscled and according to Steve, had given Bucky and Sam the most brutal brush-off either of them had ever experienced- stitches were involved. Natalia could imagine the guards moving in unison like a pride of lionesses to take down any foe efficiently and mercilessly. She would have loved to spar with them, but she had to take things a little slower due to her pregnancy.

 

“I think we all understand the conundrum we find ourselves in,” Ororo began once they were seated and ready to begin. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a regal twist-out updo and she was dressed semi-formally having come straight from the meeting with T’Challa and the advisors to dinner, and then to the meeting they were having. A blue and black printed silk gown held together by gold metal bands clung to her powerful silhouette. “It is obvious to us that the allegations being reported in the news are not true as we have the evidence right in front of us. But people may be influenced to believe the rotten tripe they are being fed.”

 

“Wakanda has decided to give you our full support in any way we can,” T’Challa informed them. He was dressed in a shirt and trousers of traditional Wakandan print that matched his wife’s clothing. “The circle that knows of your presence in the country still remains as tight as it can be in light of the circumstances and as will allow you freedom of movement under our protection. My advisors are mostly Elders of our people. They’re at the point in their lives where they would not be trusted to enter the UN General Assembly without pulling their shirts off to dance around and wave rude hand signals at just about everybody. Wakandans have a very long memory and are slow to forgive. But we do believe fiercely in doing what is right. They want to do the right thing here and stand by you for our world’s sake.”

 

“Thank you T’Challa,” Steve said sincerely. “The debt that we owe you has us forever grateful to you and your nation. Any time you need us and we’ll help the best that we can.” The former and honorary Avengers nodded their heads in agreement.

 

“There can be no doubt that whoever is behind this smear campaign will be able to fabricate evidence to support it,” Laura stated. “They’ve had months to prepare this. If we’re going to counter, then we have to counter soon and come at them from all sides. We’re going to have to release our response from multiple sources in multiple countries and send it to every news station we can.”

 

“But what are we going to release?” Bucky asked. “Steve is already marked as a traitor by his association with me. They might have Zemo on trial at The Hague, but that does not clear him from aiding and abetting a person wanted for Crimes against Humanity.”

 

“We have several options,” said Natalia, “and we’re not likely to like any of them. Firstly, we could continue the farce that I am dead. We manipulate the story so that I’m a martyr for our side and we blame the government who sent the drone. I have people verifying the source and we can go with that. Secondly, we could have Steve turn himself in hoping that they believe him. I think they would hurry his trial and sentence faster than they did Saddam’s at this point. Thirdly, we could tell them the truth. We release a video recorded in a non-descript location and tell them I’m alive and Steve is not HYDRA and we warn them as much as we are able about the manipulations we are trying to investigate.”

 

“The third option would tie in with my reputation of being ‘unable to tell a lie’,” Steve commented thoughtfully.

 

“I think,” Pietro spoke up in his heavy Sokovian accent, “That it would be very important to let the world know about this girl Olivia. Her story has to be known. There is too much pain in this alienation that humans are allowing to happen.” Wanda took her brother’s hand and squeezed it.

 

“It would be best to try to appeal to people’s hearts,” Jean Grey reminded them. “Along with the tragedy of Olivia’s murder, there is also the fact that someone tried to murder Natalia, whom the authorities at least knew was pregnant. Many people will be outraged by that across the world, regardless of their opinion on the Avengers. You have to decide if you’re willing to reveal that with the risks it brings.”

 

“We won’t make it the forefront of our appeal,” Natalia said as she met Steve’s determined gaze. “But if it comes up in the future we’re not going to deny any truths that may be revealed.”

 

“That’s a good choice,” Ororo agreed.

 

“There’s also the terrifying reality that there was drone attack on US soil,” Sam brought up. “Americans will be up in arms about that. The story that they have about a planted bomb has to be exposed as a lie.”

 

“You can’t have a drone attack on US soil as things stand without some kind of collusion,” Clint said bluntly. “That fucker Ross had the dead eyes of his tell as he stood there and insinuated things about you, Steve. That’s his tell. The first few seconds of the lie, his eyes always glaze over.”

 

“Does he just not believe what he’s saying, or is he outright lying?” Steve questioned.

 

“I wouldn’t know,” Clint answered. “It’s hard to conclude.”

 

“I have someone who can try to verify that but it’ll be risky,” Natalia professed. “I don’t think it’s possible right now, because she’s probably quelling fires. If Mystique went where I think she went, she’s going to have her hands full.”

 

“I damn well hope she did not go to Erik,” Ororo exclaimed. “Every time the two of them get together after bad things happen, then we’ve got an underground war to contend with. We do not need that.”

 

“If it comes to that, then Pietro and I are willing to convince Erik to act more aligned with our plans towards the bigger looming threat we have yet to identify,” Wanda offered.

 

“Some Asgardian input on the possible identities of our foes would be so welcome right now,” Natalia sighed.

 

“Still no word from Thor?” T’Challa tried to ascertain.

 

“No,” Natalia answered. “Whatever he’s doing, he’s nowhere near the corresponding device to the one he gave us for contacting him. It worries me some. I checked in with Darcy and Fury and neither of them are able to get a response and they’ve been unable to do so since before the events that split the team.”

 

“If there are drone attacks on US Soil, then we can expect an increase in drone incursions in foreign airspace,” T’Challa reminded them. “We could have drones headed to us. We do have the systems to defend ourselves, and there will be some kind of uproar if we shoot anything down. But we have an international reputation for vehemently guarding our sovereignty. I’m going to upgrade our systems and put them on high alert.

 

“Wakanda could become a target due to our society’s ancient and continued acceptance of Mutants.”

 

“So that’ll be our plan of action?” Sam asked.

 

“Yup, viral video,” Natalia voted. The others agreed.

 

“We tell the truth, and give them evidence,” Steve decided.

 

“I’ll make arrangements,” T’Challa announced.

 

“Ugh,” Natalia groaned as their party broke up. “Tomorrow’s tabloid headlines are going to be about Superhero WAGs.”

 

“Yeah, now no one will respect me for my mind, abilities and achievements any longer. I’ll just be the Black Widow’s arm candy,” Steve smirked mischievously at her. Natalia narrowed her eyes at him and Steve sought to appease her with a peck or two. “We both know you’d win in a fight.”

 

“And don’t you forget it,” Natalia warned him affectionately.

 

 

@>-`-,----

 

 

Several hours later, in a dingy basement under downtown New York, a masked man stared mouth agape at the screen. Not that you could see that his mouth was open because the red, black and white mask completely covered Deadpool’s features.

 

Natasha Romanoff- with her hair stripped back to its natural red tone- was on the screen of his television in a news report. He’d heard that she died or something and people were freaking out about it. Next to her sat the former Captain America, Steve Whatsit.

 

“It has been reported in the news that I have been attacked and killed in a plot orchestrated by the former Captain America, Steve Rogers,” Natasha stated. The masked man cocked his head and wondered if Natasha’s boobs really did seem bigger or if she was wearing a really good bra. “Well, I am alive. And the theories on any animosity against me on the part of Steve Rogers are absolutely unfounded as he is my fiancé.”

 

“I know there are many of you out there who believe me to be a traitor to America, and in light of my actions in the past few months are wondering if there is any truth to the accusations that I am a member of the terrorist organisation HYDRA,” Steve Ro-Something-Boring blabbed. “But I could not standby and ignore what I felt to be the correct path to follow. It sounds outlandish- sometimes you can only tell the truth as it is in its most honest and strangest form. During the Second World War, my best friend James Barnes was kidnapped by HYDRA. Bucky as we affectionately call him, was tortured and experimented upon until he was brainwashed and made to do the dirty work of the enemy. He had been their Prisoner of War the entire seventy years I was frozen in ice and then some.”

 

‘I want to fast-forward,’ Deadpool thought with desperate boredom as he watched.

 

“I know that the governments of the world wanted to prosecute Bucky as a war criminal in the wake of the Sokovia Accords Bombing,” Steve Something-To-Do-With-Pirate-Paraphernalia went on. “But I was, and still am afraid that the man I consider my brother will be tried unfairly, and his years of suffering totally disregarded. The reason I fear this is connected to the attempt on my fiancée’s life.”

 

“I was targeted as part of a plot to cause further disarray in the defences of the Earth’s Nations,” Natasha explained calmly. “The efforts of shadowy parties have already caused a rift in the Avengers Team so great that the team has had to disband. This was the first step in a much larger plan.

 

“We feel it’s the right of all the citizens of the world to know that their governments are in talks to pass a Superhuman Registration Act. This is to identify and keep count of all humans with enhancements and mutations. History has shown us that it always leads to human tragedy when we isolate our own because of their differences from the perceived norm. Malicious parties want this to happen so that we may resort to tearing each other apart and thus weakening the Earth’s defences.”

 

“We’ve faced alien foes before,” Steve Plural-Of-A-Slang-Name-For-A-Penis-If-You-Are-British-Or-From-Another-Century-Like-Two-Hundred-Years-Ago-Probably nattered on. “Many of the Superhumans who protect the Earth have, and if the enemy succeeds in removing us from the arsenal protecting Earth, then we will have made it easier for them to enact their plans.”

 

“We’ve already faced casualties in this plot against the people of Earth,” Natasha revealed. “Many of you will know that there was a female body found in the wreckage of my burnt-out ranch in Arizona. What you don’t know is that the identity of the person that corpse used to be: A young teenage girl named Olivia Ng. Olivia was a Mutant. She had pink colour eyes, and she had sought the shelter of my ranch after her family and townspeople had beaten and chased her out of their community. She had been left alone while medical supplies were fetched from town, and in that time a drone dropped a bomb on my ranch house.”

 

“Olivia was killed by a drone attack on US domestic soil,” Steve So-Bland-He-Should-Be-A-Dave-Or-A-Bob-Or-A-Norman specified. Deadpool knew he should be serious and concentrate. Teen girls dying from drones was serious. Teen girls being kicked out and beat up by family for looking different was seriously wrong. “This is a matter that all US citizens should find alarming. We urge you to hold your government accountable for allowing this to happen and for covering up the real facts of the event. We urge all of you out there, regardless of your nationality, to ask your governments to unite people and not try to divide them. We ask you to accept your neighbours- we’re all human. The truth of the matter is that Humanity is constantly evolving and our DNA has been mutating for a very long time. One day, your descendants will have mutated DNA. I’m sure they would be grateful to know that their predecessors responded to their changing world with love, kindness, bravery and acceptance.

 

“We ask you to remain vigilant. There is a threat to Humanity, but it comes from an Alien Enemy who evades even our Extra-terrestrial allies they are so secretive. Humanity will not be duped and led to our doom. We’ll rise up and unite to protect each other and our world.”

 

“We hope that you take our message to heart and stand up for what’s right in the world,” Natasha concluded. 

 

“Holy Fuck!” Deadpool exclaimed. “I date a chick and she moves onto Mr Super-Squeaky-Clean straight after. The Black Widow’s engaged to Captain America? How the fuck does that happen? Well, at least it’s not Wolverine. Then I’d have to go do something evil to his laundry at the very least. Like fill up his fabric softener with my jizz. That would be a lot of jizz though.”

 

“Did you _really_ date her?” Spiderman interjected disbelievingly from the chair glued to the ceiling that he’d also been glued to by the other masked male in the room.

 

“Yes, I totally did,” Deadpool protested. “We had crazy sex. Like disturbing crazy sex.”

 

Spiderman managed to look unimpressed without the aid of facial expression. “You’re totally lying aren’t you?”

 

“She was going through an angry phase,” Deadpool shrugged with bravado.

 

“You’re totally lying aren’t you?” Spiderman repeated.

 

“Why do you think I’m lying?!”

 

“You’re so lying,” Spiderman stated.

 

“Fine, we did not have sex, but we totally flirted hard like a fucking horny bunnies on molly,” Deadpool yelled.

 

“Yeah, but he’s Captain America. He kicked my ass. I heard he also stopped a plane with a roundhouse kick stronger than Chuck Norris’. And when Chuck Norris met him, Chuck Norris cried and called him his hero. And I also heard that when he tried out John Cena’s ‘Attitude Adjustment’ move on a torpedo, it bent to a ninety degree angle and then it blew up but he was okay just his hair smelled of smoke for a week,” Spiderman argued. “Also, I may have been accidentally high, but I’ve seen them fuck like horny bunnies on molly.”

 

“Did you film it?” Deadpool asked seriously.

 

“No!” Spiderman yelped. “Now can you please do something about this glue? I don’t want to bother Mr Stark about another new suit. This is the third one this month. Also, I have a curfew. And our DVR is filled with shows I need to catch up on like the ‘American Ninja Warrior’ premiere and I’m not sure there’s space for the ‘Game of Thrones’ Finale tonight!”

 

“My fiancée’s hotter than her anyway,” Deadpool dismissed Spiderman’s whinging with a wave of his hand. “Gonna have to be careful about this ‘Superhuman Registration Act’ thing. I don’t want to end up fucked in the ass again. Or shot up the ass. Though pegging is not as bad as I thought it would be.”

 

“I don’t know what that is,” Spiderman told him.

 

“Oh little Spidey-shit,” Deadpool sighed as he patted the head of the upside down teen. “I’m going to show you programming that’s way more fun than regular TV will ever be.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I thought of Nat and Steve making a worldwide announcement, I could only picture Deadpool watching it while he was pestering Spidey. That is just the way it happened in my head. I love the concept of Deadpool being the worst influence ever on Spidey. 
> 
> Note: Superfetation is when an already pregnant woman releases another egg and it is fertilised resulting in another pregnancy while the other pregnancy is on-going. It’s pretty rare, but concurrent pregnancies can start anywhere up to a few months apart.


	17. Holiday (Part 1: Was There Fondue And Dancing?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a short chapter (or was supposed to be a short chapter- maybe it’s just feels-centred and not plot centred), because I had a huge headache the whole of Wednesday and it was like my whole body just ached. I just couldn’t do anything creative, so I landed up lying in bed reading parts of some of my old fictions that I abandoned (because I had data loss and I was just too exasperated and discouraged to write replacements) and also parts I had not published.  
> I cut my smut writing teeth on True Blood fics… yeah, can you tell? Haha. But anyway, I was absolutely amazed at the totally different vibes from what I had written about three years ago to what I am writing now. Steve is so sweet. I love Steve. I still love Eric Northman, but Steve is so sweet. My Eric X Original Character fiction, that couple was cray-cray. Really intense cray-cray in the stuff I had not yet published yet. I miss them.  
> But I totally love Steve and Nat.  
> There’s supposed to be music for this embedded. You have no idea how long it took to sort that. I hope it works. So, I guess make sure your sound is on.  
> Oh, lemon chiffon cake shall be served now. That means more SMUT. They have to make-up. They haven’t yet made up physically from their fight that resulted in the stupid break.

[Got This](http://8tracks.com/asora-e/got-this?utm_medium=referral&utm_content=mix-page&utm_campaign=embed_button) from [asora-e](http://8tracks.com/asora-e?utm_medium=referral&utm_content=mix-page&utm_campaign=embed_button) on [8tracks Radio](http://8tracks.com?utm_medium=referral&utm_content=mix-page&utm_campaign=embed_button).

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

Chapter Seventeen

 

Holiday (Part 1: Was There Fondue And Dancing?)

 

“It’s like they teleported Tony here specifically to troll us,” Steve remarked as he stood beside Natalia.

 

“It’s Clint,” Natalia assured him drolly. “He’s channelling Tony so he can give us a more rounded experience.”

 

The romantic setting that Laura had requested on their behalf for the evening filled their suite (which had formerly been just Steve’s). There were candles in votives, a little indoor picnic and rose petals on the bed while the moonlight streamed in from the sliding door before which an almost invisible bug screen door formed a barrier between them and the insect night life of Equatorial Africa. These were all the basic ingredients to create an amative mood.

 

Then they had noticed that the picnic was a dessert picnic consisting of loads of little sweet treats and… chocolate fondue.

 

But that wasn’t the biggest sign that their friends with annoying senses of humour had organised this.

 

There on the bed, in red and yellow rose petals was a huge Iron Man mask.

 

“Close your eyes,” Steve sighed in exasperation.

 

Natalia did so and grumbled as she heard Steve move about in front of her, “I bet Laura will be ridiculously pissed when she finds out. Unless, of course, she’s in on it. She did marry that numbskull.”

 

“You can open them again,” Steve said. Natalia opened her eyes to see that Steve had strewn the petals all over the bed, mixing the red and yellow into something more random.

 

“I’m glad we get to celebrate this though,” Steve said as he strode up to hold Natalia in his arms. She pecked a kiss on his chin, his Adam’s apple and in the hollow of his throat. Steve had changed for the public announcement video they had just sent out. He wore a pale button down blue shirt that he’d rolled up at the sleeves, black trousers and because it was the Equator, leather sandals. Natalia had kept her dress on, and just opted to throw one of her conservative flowy blouses that her cover Francesca owned on for the recording. They had been seated anyway. The blouse had been done away with by the time they returned to the suite.

 

In the corner of her eye, Natalia spied a piece of note paper next to a remote. She slipped out of Steve’s embrace and went to pick it up, while he explored the picnic treats.

 

“This is non-alcoholic,” Steve said referring to the bottle on ice he’d just picked up from the silver champagne bucket. “I love all the details on the Wakandan flatware and crockery. It’s like a jungle scene scrolling around every single piece. The workmanship is so fine.”

 

“Okay, I forgive Laura,” Natalia declared. “And maybe Bucky earned a few brownie points too. Listen to what’s on this note:

Dear Natalia and Steve,

 

Steve was always absolutely chicken when it came to dancing- but that did not mean he didn’t want to. Maybe his dance card got misplaced for a couple of decades, but I assure you that if I’d convinced him to come back to Russia four years after meeting Natalia I’m not sure if I’d have gotten her first dance, or her second. I certainly would not have gotten any Mazurkas. Hell, I wonder if I’d have gotten more than one dance with Natalia, and that solitary one being consented to out of courtesy. 

 

Laura asked me to help her compile a list of songs for you. They’re tunes we’d know, and some are recorded after the war, but I figured they might have been songs you’d danced to if we’d lived that reality. I agreed mostly because there’s nothing like the lyrics of the songs they wrote back then.

 

So dance and do things that would have made the nuns campaign to have you saying ‘Hail Marys’ for a year nonstop if they caught you.

-Bucky”

 

 

Steve had come up behind Natalia, encircled his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder as he read along with her. His fingers absently traced over the baby bump lightly. Natalia glanced at his profile, wondering what he thought about the theory Bucky was spouting being in written words.

 

“Did Bucky just refer to classic Russian literature?” Steve remarked dryly. Natalia snorted out loud at the comment and swatted playfully at his bicep.

 

“Switch on the music,” Steve instructed. “I may need a few of those Nutella filled strawberries  and almond truffles dipped in fondue chocolate to warm me up, but I’ll be damned if some kind of explosion or alien invasion robs me of another dance.”

 

Natalia picked up the remote and quickly examined it. Steve pecked her shoulder softly and turned Natalia around, leading her to the picnic, and helped her to sit down on a round patterned silk cushion that was placed at the edge of the beautiful Afghan kilim carpet that had been appropriated as their picnic rug. Holding the remote in the air as her fiancé sat down on the other cushion, Natalia pressed play.

 

The first song on the list made Steve groan a little as he slipped off the leather sandals he had on, but then he laughed. It was Peggy Lee’s ‘Hold me’. Steve recognised her voice.

 

“A ‘Peggy’, Bucky, really?” Steve chuckled as he grimaced in embarrassment in front of Natalia. Natalia had placed the remote next to her, away from Steve, and reached for a mini-bite of cake. She skewered it and dipped it into the chocolate before taking a bite. It was apple cake, with a Nutella layer sandwiching two pieces together. They really had caught on to Steve’s Nutella obsession at the palace. He loved Nutella on apple cake.

 

“It’s a great song though,” Natalia observed as Steve popped the cork off the bottle of non-alcoholic fizz. “I didn’t get to go out to the West until the fifties, so I haven’t heard this. How do you feel about all of this happening after Peggy passed, Steve?”

 

Natalia looked up through her lashes to steadily survey Steve’s reaction.

 

“I think, she would be happy for me and I’m happy,” Steve answered after a moment’s consideration during which he poured out two units of bubbly into flutes for them. “I’m ecstatic.”

 

“And you’re going to dance with me?” Natalia tested.

 

“If you don’t mind injured feet,” Steve grinned self-deprecatingly.

 

“We dance battle-choreography together and you’ve never stepped on my toes then,” Natalia reasoned. “Well except for that time when we couldn’t figure out how to cut the time down on move seventy eight in training. But do you… Is it okay to dance with _me_ , to _this_ music?”

 

“You’re my fiancée. You’re going to be _my wife_ , Natalia. I’m going to dance with you for the rest of my life,” Steve assured her. “You may have to deal with my klutzy moves, but I’ll always dance with you. I want to dance with you. Peggy, she had a whole lifetime of dances with another man for a reason. I’m going to make sure I have a whole lifetime of dances with you.”

 

“You’re so smooth today,” Natalia smirked at him.

 

“I was possessed by the spirit of the bald eagle,” Steve replied deadpan. “Bald eagles grab hold of their mating partner’s talons and free-fall from a height as their courtship practice. They mate for life and do the same dance every year. Can you feel the effortless bravery vibes coming off of me as I dare to fall further in love with you?”

 

“You are possessed,” Natalia laughed before reaching over to kiss Steve tenderly on the lips. She dabbed a smudge of chocolate from her thumb onto his lips and kissed him again, sucking the sweetness off. The song changed to Billie Holiday’s rendition of ‘I can’t believe that you’re in love with me’.  Natalia gasped at the opening lyrics. “I’m going to kick Bucky’s ass. He’s teasing me with this song.”

 

They laughed throughout the song, chatting and trying out the various sweet and salty titbits dunked in chocolate, before Steve asked her formally to dance to the next one.

 

“Miss Romanova,” Steve began, “I would be honoured if you’d share this next dance with me, please?”

 

Natalia beamed at the hand he held out to her and seized it enthusiastically. Steve pulled her up easily and placed her on her feet. He held out his arm for her, which she took and he led her out to the clear space before the screened off sliding doors that led to the balcony. Listening to the melody of Frank Sinatra’s ‘How deep is the ocean?’, Steve found the places for his hands on Natalia’s body. She smiled mischievously up at him and pulled him closer, her chest against his and her face turned up so that it was although her mouth was waiting for a kiss with her softly parted lips. Her hand moved from his shoulder to rest at the nape of his neck, and her fingers teased the short hairs seductively. Their arms, which should have been held out aloft, were bent so that their clasped hands were near Steve’s chest.

 

“I learned that dancing like this will make a man melt,” Natalia revealed. “I’m just a kiss away.”

 

“You are,” Steve agreed as he brushed his lips against hers and pulled the redhead even closer to caress her lips with his softly. “But we haven’t started dancing yet.”

 

“It seems like I melted before you did,” Natalia whispered and then cheekily asked: “Well, are you going to start or what?”

 

“You know what Romanoff-” Steve chuckled before he leaned down to deliver a mock-bite to her neck as he dipped her, making her squeal and laugh out loud. Steve righted them and smoothly transitioned into a slow dance.

 

They held each other close through Billie Holiday’s ‘More than you know’ and Maxine Sullivan’s ‘Come Rain or Come Shine’. They smooched through Ella Fitzgerald and the Mills Brothers’ ‘Dedicated to You’ and into Doris Day’s ‘Again’.

 

“Okay, I’m thinking this would be really good as a wedding song,” Steve breathed as he rested his forehead against Natalia’s as they swayed gently to the song.

 

“It’s a very good contender,” Natalia agreed.

 

“I so want to make love to you right now,” Steve declared huskily as his hand tightened on Natalia’s back. His hand unclasped from hers against his chest and he caught a lock of her red hair and brought it to his lips to kiss reverently before he returned his mouth to the tempting distance it had held before hers.   

 

“Then make love to me, Steve,” Natalia susurrated against his lips.

 

Steve inhaled deeply as he wrapped his arms around Natalia and synchronised his breath with hers. She skimmed her hands up his chest and around his neck to pull him down so that she could kiss him heatedly. Her tongue brushed against his teasingly before their lips separated. Steve held her against him as he walked them back towards the bed, leading Natalia as though it were a rumba. His hooded blue eyes remained on Natalia’s green ones, their expression intense with lusty gravitas.  

 

Natalia felt the back of her knees hit the edge of the bed and she trailed her fingers down from Steve’s neck over his arms, which felt much harder than they had a few months prior. She only noted that mentally at that moment because she was so concentrated on the physical, unlike earlier in the day when she had been concerned with the emotional side of their relationship. She bit the edge of her bottom lip in anticipation of that reveal and began to unbutton Steve’s shirt.

 

She was so thankful that Wakanda was too hot for men to wear undershirts in general because she’d struggled for months to get Steve to not wear one if wasn’t winter. She’d feared he’d reverted and the practice irked her when she just wanted to get him out of his clothes. But luckily there was no blasted white undershirt. She rewarded him with a kiss on his chest after each button was undone, and slipped the cotton off his shoulders to reveal the kind of feast that trilled her nether regions.

 

“Has Thor been making secret trips to Wakanda to train you for some kind of Asgardian Iron Man event?” Natalia asked with suspicious admiration. He was definitely a little bigger and his musculature more defined. It seemed the unsupervised access to Nutella and Snickers had not had an adverse effect on her beau.

 

“Even though you’re talking about a sporting event category, please don’t reference Tony when I’m getting hard for you,” Steve responded with a frown before smirking. “No, I just ran around the jungle a lot because if I didn’t I’d either be a depressed blob eating Nutella and fries as I lay on the floor missing you or I’d lock myself in my room and jerk off fiendishly still thinking about you. Though, I can’t deny that both of those things may have happened on occasion.”

 

Natalia grinned at him again, biting her bottom lip once more before springing up on her toes to kiss the side of his throat. She pushed her breasts into his chest as she continued to kiss up to a sweet spot just below his ear, placing her hands against his pectorals. Steve’s hands slipped down to grab hold of her bottom, feeling the perky flesh appreciatively and lifting and supporting her as she continued to kiss, lick and nip at his neck while he released a small grunt of approval.

 

Just the short vibration of Steve’s voice rumbling in his chest felt through her torso, breasts and lips had Natalia gasping in pleasure. Her breasts had become quite sensitive over the past little while, and the tremors had pinched her nipple tips into hard peaks.

 

Steve traced the tip of his nose over her exposed décolletage, his hands gathering up the fabric of her dress’ skirt while Natalia nibbled on his earlobe. Steve turned his head to touch his lips to Natalia’s in the lightest caress before he let her slip to the floor slowly and felt for the side zip of her dress. Once the fastening was undone, he ran his hands up her arms to her shoulders and slipped his hands into the neckline of the dress and onto her shoulders.

 

Natalia tensed suddenly, her mind flashing the warning that she did not look the same as she had when he last saw her naked. Obviously he could feel that she had a little belly filled with their unborn Beans- he had his hand all over it and had her body pressed to his for the past half hour already- but Steve was a visual person. He drew, he was an artist, and he may have loved her but she still worried that he did not really get that she wasn’t a svelte hourglass at that moment.

 

He sensed her hesitation. Steve lifted his hand to under her chin and tilted her head up so that she could meet his gaze. Still breathing in sync with her, he guessed at what plagued her and could comfort her: “I want to see what you look like. I’ve been imagining how beautiful you look pregnant and nude. Pregnant with my children- our Beans- and glowing. If you want proof, then you should see my sketchbook. And please know that my imagination so far has been rather inept because damn it, you’re exquisite.”

 

“Steve, I just want you to- I’m different, okay. I’ve never been less than my physical prime as an adult,” Natalia tried to explain.

 

“Well, the burning lump in my pants should confirm to you that I still think you’re hot,” Steve pointed out and then smiled reassuringly. “You’re carrying the evidence that I have made and still get to make love to you. You’re my dream girl, Nat, my forever woman. And if we’re going to be crude: fuck your tits look amazing!”

 

Natalia laughed again as Steve grinned into her neck, rolling his hips to rub his erection against her. She caught his chin in her hand and pulled him to her mouth for another molten kiss as she let him divest her of her dress.

 

“Yes, your tits are fucking phenomenal,” Steve approved darkly as he gazed down at them. He lifted his eyes to hers and quirked a brow flirtatiously. Natalia stroked down his torso and gripped his length through his trousers. She stroked the meatiness firmly to the pleasured sighs of her lover while she undid his belt buckle and trouser fastenings, nipping at his lips a few times. Once he was free of his pants, the couple stood with their hands entwined in their underwear before the bed.

 

With the slightest nudge, Steve prompted Natalia to sit back on the petal strewn bed. That brought her face to point with the tent pole pitched in Steve’s black boxer-briefs. Glancing up at him mischievously, she took hold of his hips to place her lips around his cloth covered tip and sucked. Steve moaned gutturally, his hips jerked reflexively three times before he regained control of himself and cupped Natalia’s jaw, easing her mouth off of him. She licked her lips of the saliva she’d allowed to begin pooling in her mouth and swallowed before following the physical guidance the gentle push of his hand on her shoulder suggested. Natalia scooted a little further away and lay back on the bed to look up at Steve. The waning quarter moon in the sky behind him shone brightly against the cloudless black sky. She relaxed when she recognised the look in his eyes as the carnal admiration for her form that she’d seen so many times before.

 

Steve lowered to his knees and took hold of her left foot and undid the straps of her pale gold strappy sandal, kissing the inner curve of her foot as he did and then massaging her soles when her foot was free. He did the same for the other foot, before licking slowly up the inside of her leg in a scrolling swirl with the tip of his tongue right to the edge of her lace purple panties. He paused and inhaled deeply just as she did in reaction to his hot breath against her sex. Once again he repeated the action up the other leg and when he returned to her panties, he chuckled and ghosted his lips over her belly, up to her chest and latched onto her neck to kiss wetly over her pulse point.

 

He raised his blond head to kiss her chin and the corner of her mouth as his fingertips caressed her sides. Hunched over her, Steve was careful not to place any weight on her womb.

 

Natalia closed her eyes and could feel him smiling against her cheek before his head moved lower to her breasts. His tongue licked carefully over her smooth turgid skin, learning their new sensitivity. Satisfied that he’d gotten a handle on what he could do, Steve languorously slurped her right nipple into his mouth and sucked lazily, while his right hand toyed with her left breast. He gently stroked the skin between his index and thumb, forming his fingers into a gentle pinch that had Natalia keening. He swapped breasts and finished off the repeat gesture with the gentle nibbling of her nipple and the skin around her areola, nipping a trail to the underside of her breasts.

 

Natalia found herself wound so tight from the careful attention to her bosom, that she knew the slightest touch to her clit could set her off. So when Steve moved around to reposition himself and his erection rubbed against her open folds through her panties, her eyes sprung open and she found her hips bucking in the pitching climb to orgasm. Fortunately, her lover was a super-soldier who reacted very fast. His thumb pressed against her nub and rubbed steadily as she found her first release whimpering into his mouth as his tongue twisted with hers.

 

Natalia’s panties were soaked, the lace never being much to absorb any kind of unguent with. They clung to her flesh and she wanted them off and she wanted Steve’s boxer briefs off so that she could feel his skin against hers. Clawing for his hips, Natalia pulled down Steve’s remaining garment as he laughed heartily. The material got stuck at his knees and he briefly separated from her to kick it off and then flipped her right leg over to his right shoulder where he joined it with her left. Steve knelt on the bed, his quadriceps forming the support for the round globes of her rear to rest on. He slid his hands down her outer thighs to hook his fingers into the sides of her panties and pulled up, guiding the last scrap between them over her legs before he tossed it into a corner.

 

He winced goofily for a second and glanced over his shoulder. “Sorry, checking that I didn’t toss that onto a candle and inadvertently cause a fire.”

 

Natalia giggled at him and beckoned him down with a finger for a kiss. Twisting her hips to her left, Natalia hugged his neck as Steve bent over her. The small bump between them had space enough, and Natalia could enjoy licking into Steve’s kiss as his right thumb caressed over the outer labia of her pussy. She panted into his mouth as his digit slowly began to slip into her slit and caressed the insides of her slick folds. He found her clit and pressed against it again, then eased back to repeat in a steady rhythm. Gasping more at his increasing pressure, Natalia raked her nails down Steve’s scalp. She could feel the wet of his tip resting against the curve between her butt cheek and her upper thigh. She tried to wriggle encouragingly so that he could enter her, and Steve took the hint.

 

Hooking her knees back over his right shoulder more securely and sliding his right hand underneath them onto the bed so that his forearm braced against it, Steve used his left hand to guide himself into Natalia. The fit was gloriously snug and Steve huffed several times as he inched himself in. He nibbled at the helix of Natalia’s ear appreciatively as she hummed her pleasure.

 

“I love you so much, Natshechka,” Steve murmured gruffly as he gazed down at her lovingly. “I’m so happy we’re together again. I’m so happy you’re going to be my wife.”

 

“I love you too, Steve,” Natalia breathed. She caressed down the chisel of his cheek and over the fullness of his kiss-bruised lips, letting her fingers trace teasingly over the pink flesh. “My heart would only ever say ‘yes’ to you. You know that, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Steve answered with a smile and a nod. He rolled his hips testing if she’d like the motion. Natalia bit her lip and called out. Steve raised a brow questioningly and thrust in quickly before drawing out slowly.

 

“I want all slow, Steve,” Natalia directed.

 

“Yes, ma’am,” Steve smirked at her and complied. Natalia narrowed her eyes at him, but forgot to pretend to be offended at his sass as the pleasure overtook her senses. Her eyes shut once more and her left hand drifted down to slip between her legs so that she could press and rub hard at her clit.

 

Steve growled in her ear as her increasingly frantic attentions slipped against the sensitive flesh of his lower belly and groin, sometimes touching his tightening ball sack.

 

“Natalia,” Steve commanded. “What more? I want you to come, what do you need?”

 

“My tits,” Natalia moaned plaintively in Russian as her mottled green eyes opened to focus on his face. Steve straightened up a little to reach his left hand between them and pinched and twisted her right nipple. Natalia yelped and yipped with every thrust as it increased in power. Steve’s pace became more haphazard. Natalia’s hand left her pussy to tug at her other breast, and Steve quickly covered her absence, his hand a little heavier than hers had been. It was what she needed to reach that blissful peak.

 

Natalia came sobbing and clutching at the rumpled sheets while Steve continued to pound into her at a staccato. Grunting hoarsely, her partner came as she still tingled with aftershocks. The sustained pressure of his ring and middle finger over her clit and his cock pressed up against her g-spot yanked Natalia back down the slalom of pleasure achieving a third orgasm for the night.    

 

Slumping over her for barely a few seconds, Steve carefully rolled them over so that he was on his back and Natalia was draped over him. His cock had slipped out in the process and Natalia felt their joint fluids ooze out of her channel as they caught their breath and their bodies cooled. The playlist had ended long ago but neither of them had registered the change in background sound to the sigh of the breeze and the night calls of lions in the wilderness drowning out the usual crickets.

 

“We get to do that for the rest of our lives,” Steve crooned when Natalia lifted her head to gaze down at him. He kissed her jaw and she lowered her mouth to his to let their tongues meld in an igneous slow dance.

 

“Next round,” Steve proposed as he brushed crushed petals off her back and out of her hair gently, “I get to watch those beautiful breasts jiggle as you ride me, or I get to lick you as you sit on my face?”

 

“Who the hell ever thought you were some virginal poster boy for prudes?” Natalia chuckled huskily.

 

“Obviously not someone I wanted to get into my bed,” Steve bantered. “And I’ve found my match so the amount of people that know that the case is otherwise is now limited to one from here on.”

 

“Yeah, you’re all mine, Rogers,” Natalia grinned.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twenty point to your Hogwarts House if you can correctly guess the classic movie that Natalia inadvertently references in this chapter- one hundred points if you are Slytherin like me! I’ll give you a clue: Shirley MacLaine dyes her hair bright red in this movie.  
> I was like drowning in the feels listening to 1930s-1940s jazz love songs researching for this. The tracks are:  
> 1 Peggy Lee- Hold Me  
> 2 Billie Holiday- I can’t believe that you’re in love with me  
> 3 Frank Sinatra- How deep is the ocean?  
> 4 Billie Holiday- More than you know  
> 5 Maxine Sullivan- Come Rain or Come Shine  
> 6 Ella Fitzgerald & the Mills Brothers- Dedicated to you  
> 7 Doris Day- Again  
> 8 Peggy Lee- Linger in my arms just a little longer, baby
> 
> I love contemporary music, but I can imagine Steve scrolling through Sam’s playlist and finding his ‘Sexy time mix’ and then listening to the ‘whisper song’ and being totally confused.  
> When he reunites with Bucky, he’d play him the song and Bucky would ask incredulously “And women don’t beat you with their brick-filled purses when they hear this?”  
> Steve would exclaim “that’s what I said”.  
> Of course Pietro would walk by at that moment and make them listen to Justin Bieber’s ‘Keep Each Other Company’ and then say with a shrug “It’s not my style, but it works.”


	18. Holiday (Part 2: This isn’t Verona)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, sorry about the delay between chapters. I’m going to say that I’m extending the waiting period between chapters to about 48 hours. I’ve been a bit raggedy and my mind feels a little like porridge. I’ll still try to post as soon as I can, but I do want this story to maintain a certain level that I can be happy with. Thinking ahead, I know that the last few chapters are going to be a bit difficult to write.  
> Secondly, thank you to all of you who have continued to read this story. It makes me truly happy that so many of you have enjoyed the journey thus far and sent me kudos.  
> [For those of you who are curious to know the answer, Natalia was inadvertently referencing ‘Ask Any Girl’. Not the most progressive or feminist of movies (Art is the arena in which the ideology of the time is recorded and debated in my opinion), but it is a good laugh.]

 

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Eighteen

 

Holiday (Part 2: This isn’t Verona)

Monday, 15 August 2016

“Good afternoon, Steven,” a voice as posh as Peggy’s called out. The measured timbre was silkier though, older, it was artful.

 

Steve turned slowly to the left to see that he had arrived to a somewhat unexpected guest. A beautiful older blonde woman sat with her legs crossed and her arms resting open along the back of the rattan outdoor sofa furnishing the terrace of the guest quarters the ex-Avengers now called home. She had shoulder-length hair and a crooked smirk that peeked out from her large straw sunhat. The woman struck a glamorous figure, wearing a jewel purple off-shoulder maxi-dress in a silken material that picked up the slight breeze.

 

“You must be Miss Victoria Winslow, ma’am,” Steve ascertained with a nervous smile. He really was not expecting Miss Victoria yet. Sure, Natalia had vowed that she would not be walking down any aisle until Victoria was there to be her matron of honour, but he did not expect that the woman who had been rumoured to be busy extracting a few old friends from a Turkmen prison to suddenly be sitting expectantly on the terrace when he came back from his afternoon run all sweaty with no shirt on!

 

It wasn’t like he went out without his shirt: that would be madness in the equatorial sun. Lobster was not a good look when you had relentless wise guys for friends. Steve just needed to take it off on the way home because it was dripping with sweat anyway. The red t-shirt was tucked into the back of his blue shorts, and Bucky had already asked him how he liked his ‘ass cape’.

 

What Steve had expected was to come back from his afternoon run with Bucky and separate as usual, sprinting the last little bit to get back to the guest quarters of the Wakandan Royal Palace. What he had expected was to beat the onslaught of the regular afternoon cloudburst just in the nick of time. Usually you could set your watch to it, but that day the rain seemed to be concentrated in one spot on the horizon. Steve had wondered if T’Challa and Ororo had had a disagreement because that was usually the case when the weather deviated from the norm.

 

What he had also expected was to continue into the house to find Natalia and sweep her off her feet so they could indulge in their usual pastime of an afternoon quickie, which was not really all that quick since it lasted the duration of the downpour. It was enough time to pleasure each other and then get in the shower to clean up while pleasuring each other again. It was kind of a necessary part of their day. Natalia was randy and frustrated because her pregnancy workout was boring according to her- she was used to training with Steve and in the past with Clint and that was always engaging. Steve was randy because, well, he’d gotten used to sex with Natalia after working out again. He’d been focusing on it for the past ten minutes as he made his way on the last stretch of his journey home. Consequently, meeting one of Natalia’s oldest friends whom he wanted to impress while he was sort of sporting a semi was awkward.

 

The blonde woman flicked her eyes over Steve’s form as he stood at the top of the stairs leading up to the terrace, shifting from foot to foot and absolutely terrified of doing the wrong thing with his arms- which was a ridiculous thought. She smiled widely at him and replied, “Yes, I am.”

 

After a few seconds of uncomfortable terror, Steve realised that he should be at least shaking the woman’s hand. He strode over offering his outstretched hand, which Victoria took. She rose gracefully to her feet and shook his hand firmly. As she did so her eyes narrowed, holding his gaze, and her smile remained steadfast.

 

Victoria sighed heavily and let go of Steve’s hand to grab his jaw between her cupped hands. She continued to stare into his eyes, alarming him in the process as she frowned. He was just about to ask her what was wrong when she planted one on his lips. Steve flailed, conscious that this was seriously not what was supposed to happen, and that he was very sweaty and the only person he knew who liked his sweat was Natalia.  

 

Victoria pushed him back, still cupping his face as Steve stared back at her in shock.

 

“I hear you like kissing blondes,” Victoria remarked deadpan.

 

“That’s not true,” Steve protested. “Though, it’s not that you’re a horrible kisser, or anything. But that wasn’t actually a kiss, because- and, um. I’m not and that time wasn’t really real- Why would you… do that? I’m not sure what’s going on, er, yeah. I love Natalia.”

 

Victoria burst out laughing. “Don’t worry, my dear man. That was a Natalia-sanctioned prank. She said I can make you squirm for one horrid joke, and she said I could kiss you like an annoying relative who always goes for smacks on the lips.”

 

“Oh, haha,” Steve exhaled in relief. He gawked uneasily at her, still caught in her grasp. Victoria took pity on him and let him go with a boop on the nose. She sat down again, easily draping the skirt of her dress over the sofa to maximum dramatic effect. Trying to get a handle on the situation, Steve attempted civil conversation again. “How are you enjoying Wakanda, so far? Was your trip in good? Oh, I have a gift for you.”

 

Steve hovered between sitting opposite her and standing up to go get the gift he’d chosen a while ago. For some reason he felt like he needed to broach the situation like he was meeting his mother-in-law, even though Natalia and Victoria had a camaraderie that had begun decades ago. Natalia had referred to Victoria being the Beans’ grandmother figure.  

 

“Well, it’s been lovely so far. Plenty of magnificent views,” Victoria replied as she tried to suppress her mirth. Steve had turned red at the way her gaze darted to his bare chest.

 

“I hope you like your gift,” Steve blurted. “Let me quickly go get it.”

 

He practically ran indoors and returned two minutes later wearing a new grey t-shirt, which quickly stuck to his damp skin, and bearing a leopard orchid in a beautiful turquoise pot.  

 

“Um, I understand how important you are to Natalia,” Steve begun as he ran his left hand through his hair while still holding the pot plant in his right. “You’ve been a good friend in her life even when you were an adversary. You’ve also helped her, and us, so much in the past few months. Nat feels like you’re family, and that makes you the part of the family I’m marrying into and so my family too.”

 

He handed the beautiful epiphyte plant over and Victoria accepted it graciously.

 

“It’s just something I thought you may like,” Steve mumbled.

 

“A yellow orchid,” Victoria considered. “Joy, friendship and new beginnings. And I do love leopard print. It’s an excellent specimen, but I’m not surprised considering that it is you. The ring you chose for Natalia is exquisitely her. She speaks very fondly of you, Steven. She is quite attached to you, and Natalia’s only ever attached to the exceptional in spirit among us. Thank you Steven.”

 

Steve smiled sheepishly and sat down again. “It was a pleasure Miss Victoria, ma’am. And please call me Steve.”

 

“If you insist, _Steve_ ,” Victoria beamed. “But it is a quirk of mine to use a person’s full name. After all, your mother went to the trouble of choosing that name. I even call Nicholas Fury by his full name. And if you insist on me calling you ‘Steve’, then you must call me ‘Vicky’ sometimes too. That would mean we really are family.”

 

“I’ll do that ma’am, Vicky,” Steve self-corrected and smiled with a self-deprecating wince.

 

“You can relax you know,” Victoria told him. “I am technically old enough to be your daughter.”

 

Steve tittered anxiously, wondering why on Earth no one had come out onto the patio yet to save him from his own social ungainliness.

 

“Steve, really relax,” Victoria instructed. “I know you love Natalia. I know she loves you. And I’m happy that she loves you and you love her. From what she tells me, there couldn’t be a better fit. And between us, we’ve had a few decades of trying. When you find that someone then you hold onto them.

 

“Also, please stop blushing. Those last few sentences really were not meant to have any innuendo. Though, I also had heard from Natalia that the innuendo would also be apt in this situation.”

 

Steve was melting into the floor. He should not have been still sweating from his run, but his forehead was beading with droplets so it must have been from the situation at hand.

 

“You look almost like that Spider-boy in that apology video,” Victoria chortled.

 

“Is it that bad?” Steve chuckled apprehensively. He took a deep breath and exhaled in a bid to calm himself. “I want to make a good impression and I’m just totally caught off guard. You’re really important to Natalia.”

 

“But not important enough that I’d have any sway dissuading her from you,” Victoria revealed to him. “Natalia doesn’t give her heart easily. You are the only person I’ve known of to get this much of her. And I’m proud of her.”

 

“When Clint attempted to rescue Natalia from the life she was leading,” Victoria went on, “there was only one way she could get out without being retrieved immediately. Ivan, well, we all knew each other- My Ivan that is. I’d figured out that Natalia wasn’t the same _kind_ of agent as I was years before. Ivan confirmed it. Ivan and I hadn’t talked for years prior to that, but he sent me a message to say that Natalia had been released and that no one would be coming to get her.

 

“I got to meet my friend again. I learned her anew, and really she was very much the same, just her sadness showed through more clearly. In time that was masked. And then she remembered and she called me up again and it was like I had gotten back a special sister. It was so important to her to get back all those she cared for.

 

“Her heart is so big, so naturally compassionate. She has a lot of love to give, yet she never found anyone to gift that to. But that’s also because no one ever offered her that gift back.

 

“I want to tell you something about Ivan and me: We were on opposite sides, so that meant many complications. I had to cut ties completely. I shot him- so he’d get the message that we couldn’t work. And then I lived on and eventually retired. We met again. We made up and wondered what the hell the point of wasting all those years was. The craziest things have happened to bring you and Natalia before each other. Cherish it, Steven. Make it work. Take her hand and keep making it work together. Show her that you love her. She deserves that. And keep listening with your all. That is truly a bit of luminescence in the murk. Finding someone who can listen and hear you and then try their best to keep understanding you is a blessing.”

 

“Thank you for sharing that with me, Vicky,” Steve said with a contemplative nod. “I’ll take it to heart. And I want you to know that my aim in binding my life to Natalia’s is to bring her as much happiness as I can. I want her to feel that I support her, that I will comfort her and that I’ll be the safe harbour for her heart and mind. She… something special is what draws us together. I’m going to keep doing my best to care for her. I love her- like all the books, paintings, sculptures and songs try to let us know is possible.”

 

“That’s all I wanted to hear, Steve,” Victoria replied with a gentle smile. “Now that we’ve had our talk, shall we retire indoors so we’re no longer fodder for whatever comedic soap opera thrill Clint is deriving from spying on this?”

 

“Hey!” Clint’s voice yelled out from somewhere in the tree-top behind Victoria. “Nat’s watching too. She and Sam have Redwing streaming it all.”

 

“So treasonous behaviour _is_ hereditary, Traitor Senior!” Natalia’s voice called out from the far end of the upper level of the guest quarters. Steve chuckled as he gestured for Victoria to walk in ahead of him.

 

Just at that moment Bucky came bounding up the terrace stairs. He usually ended his run off with a cooling slow down. It also served as a means to avoid the usual initial ‘getting freaking’ scenes he would have to witness as Natalia and Steve collided into each other before they disappeared upstairs. Taking the scene in, Bucky looked from the smiling Steve to Victoria’s impassive face. Steve nodded at him incrementally and Bucky hesitantly came forward to be introduced to the blonde.

 

“Victoria, this is James Barnes, my best friend,” Steve said. “Everyone calls him Bucky. Bucky, this is Victoria Winslow.”

 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am,” Bucky said offering his hand to her to shake. He had turned on the old Bucky magic and was smiling at her with enough charm that would normally have had most women melting. Yet Victoria simply raised an eyebrow and continued to watch him.

 

After another few tense seconds, Victoria tersely remarked, “You could at least recognise me.”

 

Bucky’s eyes slowly widened in alarm and Steve glared in mortification at his friend wondering what the hell he’d done to Victoria. Bucky was equally as mortified and racked his brains trying to place Victoria. Off in the distance, Natalia, Clint and Sam’s cackling broke the general murmur of jungle sounds that filled the air.

 

“You did me before you did Natalia, you twit!” Victoria elucidated. “And you stole twelve of my kills over the years, right as I had them lined up. Jobs that were supposed to be discreet you messed up into bloody spectacles that I had to take the fall for.”

 

Bucky chuckled tentatively and shrugged: “Sorry?”

 

“Oh for heaven’s sake,” Victoria muttered and stalked off into the cool of the indoors.

 

“So this means we can get you married now,” Bucky clarified with hope as he turned to his best friend. Steve stared at him incredulously for a moment before shaking his head.

 

“Yeah, but you know what Natalia said, Bucky,” Steve reasoned with the brown-haired man. “She doesn’t want a church wedding while she’s pregnant.”

 

“I already found the prettiest chapel in the country!” Bucky complained. “It’s less than ten miles away, the priests are nice and reasonable and they don’t mind that you’re not in their parish.”

 

“Are _you_ actually trying to organise a wedding?” Victoria called from the kitchen bar where she was fixing herself a neat shot of gin.

 

“Yes, my best friend is getting married. I’m the best man so I have to do my best to help out,” Bucky answered through gritted teeth. He did not like the condescending tone Victoria was using.

 

“Yes, and I am the matron of honour,” Victoria argued back. “I probably have more duties to the occasion than you.”

 

“I’ve been here longer,” Bucky scowled. Steve did not like the atmosphere that was developing.

 

“Yet you’re being unreasonable,” Victoria pointed out. “Steve, why is it that Natalia does not want a church wedding yet?”

 

“She said that she doesn’t want to get married in an empire-line dress,” Steve mumbled uncomfortably.

 

“The act of getting hitched is the important part here,” Victoria lectured. “Natalia told me she wants a pretty ceremony and all, but the most important part of getting married can be separate from that. She wants a second wedding that will be the festive ceremony after she’s given birth and gotten her figure back. She’s seen decades of dresses, and this the only time she’s getting married for real. She gets to choose what she wants. If she wants the biggest puffiest dress under the sun with a corset and a cathedral length veil to boot, then she has a right to choose that. If she wants to wait to fit in that dress, then she can do that too. Steven understands, right?”

 

“Yes, ma’am,” was Steve’s alert response.

 

“She has me to help organise that when the time comes,” Victoria sneered. “I may _let_ you help, if you prove to be capable of not creating a giant blundering mess.”

 

“What did you do to her, man?” Steve hissed in a whisper to Bucky as Victoria poured another gin.

 

“I’m trying to remember, really I am,” Bucky answered exasperatedly under his breath. “It’s a shit load of years to sift through.”

 

 

@>-`-,----

 

 

Later that evening, Natalia lounged with Steve’s head in her lap on their bed. She was reading over the vows they’d agreed on, and munching on a Snickers bar dipped in a pureed blend of African Devil chillies, bacon and maple syrup that hit the spot when it came to her pregnancy cravings. He was laying little kisses on her belly where the Beans’ ninja kicks in utero showed every now and then, something had started to become visible to the naked eye just three days prior, and enjoying the feel of Natalia’s fingers combing through his hair.

 

With Victoria’s arrival, the wedding was set to go forward immediately. That meant that the next afternoon, Steve and Natalia were getting married. It wasn’t going to be a grand ceremony but everyone in their exiled group would be there and T’Challa was officiating, which was quite an honour. Their marriage would be registered in Wakanda, though the record of the event would be kept in the sealed royal files. They had appeased Bucky’s ire at the idea of a civil ceremony by at least agreeing to a wedding with a view, so they’d be using one of the more private gardens in the Wakandan Royal Palace Grounds.

 

“I never expected that we’d have to mediate between Victoria and Bucky,” Steve remarked with a sigh. “She looked like she was going to shoot him at dinner.”

 

“You have no idea how close she was to actually doing so,” Natalia informed him. “Victoria can hold a grudge as well as I can.”

 

“Y’know, I’m not a fan of the bickering, but I’m kinda glad that we have people around us who have gotten so invested in this wedding ceremony,” Steve said as he adjusted to lie on his back from his side and looked up at Natalia.

 

“I think Bucky’s not taking the no bachelor party thing very well,” Steve mused.

 

“Neither is Sam,” Natalia added. “I think you should expect to be kidnapped sometime in the night.”

 

“It feels strange without Tony, Rhodey or Thor- especially Thor,” Steve admitted. “And you’re not doing anything either. This is another reason for the second ceremony. We’ve got to be covert as we celebrate.”

 

“But you’ll be a married guy then, so it won’t be a ‘bachelor’ party, Steve,” Natalia chuckled.

 

“No, it’ll be an awesome pre-wedding celebration,” Steve countered. “Besides, I’m already married to you in my head.”

 

“That was awfully cheesy,” Natalia remarked with an amused wince. “Thank goodness you’re such an amazing guy to make up for that.” Steve poked his tongue out at her and Natalia returned the gesture.

 

“You don’t think I’m being unreasonable do you?” Natalia asked with a hint of self-doubt as she ran her fingers through her hair and scrunched her curls. Steve frowned at her and reached up to guide her hand to laying her computer tablet aside. He implored her to go on with his eyes. “I mean, you don’t think I’m being unreasonable about this two ceremonies business?”

 

“Nat,” Steve said with surety, “It’s our wedding. Lots of people have two wedding ceremonies these days. We can do what we want. What’s important to me is that we get to commit ourselves to each other, and that we get to have fun doing so. I think both times will be pretty fun. Plus we also get two wedding nights.”

 

Natalia snorted in amusement at him and bent down to kiss his forehead. It was a little difficult now that her belly had grown some, so Steve lifted his head to meet her.

 

“I’m not really just doing it for the dress,” Natalia whispered seriously.

 

“I know,” Steve replied quietly.

 

“I’m still kind of hoping that I’d get to have a wedding with everyone present,” Natalia confessed. “Tony still can’t come. They’re watching him too closely. Rhodey isn’t in a position to travel covertly yet. Thor is MIA, and I can’t put Jane and Darcy in the kind of danger that they would be in if they were linked to us while we’re in hiding. Pepper’s been so vocal about supporting us and Mutants that I’m really worried for her safety too.”

 

“I still can’t believe Ross tried to spin this like we orchestrated the whole assassination attempt on you as a ruse,” Steve grumbled. In the fall out of their video statement, several governments were quick to accuse the former Avengers of planning the entire sequence of events so that they would win public favour while continuing their dastardly deeds against humanity. It sparked huge debate in society. There’d been protests and rallies on the Superhuman issue and it was often the topic featured on talk shows around the world.

 

“Oh, I can believe he did,” Natalia seethed. Ross had outed her pregnancy and in so doing, created a huge fanatical following for her unborn babies, which was countered by the zealous crusade calling her babies horrible things. They had to limit their movements to the palace and royal lands surrounding the palace just in case someone local seeking fame and money released a photo of them in their country of hiding.

 

Natalia exhaled audibly and lifted Steve’s head from her lap before scooting around so that she lay beside him.

 

“Logan needs to be there to protect those kids,” Natalia continued, “And Vision- he’s under Tony’s thumb.”

 

“You sound quite bothered by that last bit,” Steve noted as he turned his head to examine her profile.

 

“I think we should be,” Natalia said carefully.

 

“Why’s that?” Steve queried.

 

“Victoria’s not the only surprise guest that arrived today,” Natalia told him. “Though, our guest has yet to reveal herself to everyone.”

 

“Mystique’s here?” Steve exclaimed in a hushed voice. Natalia nodded.

 

“I found out earlier today,” she confirmed.

 

 

_The glowingly pregnant redhead had basked in the morning sun, while sitting on a bench in the ornamental gardens of the Wakandan Royal Palace. She donned an intensely orange dress in a loose style and her hair was in its naturally curly state. She was waiting for Wanda to pass through from her training session with the rest of the gang to the guest quarters where she would normally take a quick shower before heading off to train her mind with Jean Grey._

_Soon enough she heard the voice of the young woman as she laughed with her comrades. Wanda was still giggling over something Bucky had said when she spotted Natalia’s form seated before a water feature depicting two water spirits dancing through a waterfall. She slowed her step before she came to a halt in front of the woman with crimson curls._

_“I know you’re not Natalia,” Wanda said outright. “You don’t feel the same and I can’t sense the minds of her babies. Show me who you really are.”_

_The being wearing Natalia’s façade smiled and morphed into the blue-skinned, scarlet-haired and flat-stomached Mystique._

_“You didn’t even give me a chance to dazzle you with my vocal mimicry skills,” Mystique pouted playfully._

_“So you’re Mystique,” Wanda stated, sizing the other Mutant up._

_“I’d be your godmother if Erik and I were anywhere near decent parental figures,” Mystique smirked. “Or, perhaps, your sometimes stepmother.”_

_“What does he want?” Wanda huffed. “Pietro won’t see him unless it’s absolutely necessary.”_

_“I’m not here for Erik,” Mystique scoffed. “My little sister is getting married. For real. Despite the many years that she’s lived that’s never happened.”_

_“I’m not sure I believe you’re only here for that,” Wanda disclosed. “But I’m not about to go digging through your mind just so I can be certain.”_

_“It would stand you in good stead to keep that in mind should you ever think that was an acceptable risk,” Mystique re-joined. “I’ve spent a few lifetimes in the company of those of us whose powers manifest in the mental arena.”_

_Wanda frowned at her. In contrast to her story, Mystique had obviously been waiting for her. But why would she seek her out if it was not on the behalf of Wanda and Pietro’s biological father? She’d already resolved to keep her brother out of this, even though he could get there in the blink of an eye._

_Mystique patted the seat next to her and crossed her legs over her knee. As she did so her form morphed into that of a statuesque blonde woman. For a second Wanda was stunned at the confident beauty of this mask, but she snapped herself out of her momentary daze and sat down carefully at the edge of the bench. Mystique stifled the urge to roll her eyes, but still flicked her eyes up to the treeline in exasperation._

_“I put myself on this path this morning to see you, my dear,” Mystique told her. “I felt a responsibility to do so.”_

_Wanda nodded hesitantly for Mystique to go on._

_“Someone that I used to know, someone that I loved had the power of precognition,” Mystique began. “Her name was Irene, but to the Mutant community she was ‘Destiny’. Some of her powers were akin to yours in fact. But that is beside the point. The future can change, it is always changing. So Irene could predict the probable outcome of an action- she could see its repercussions. Most of the time, her visions of near events were clearer and more certain. But she had seen a few things on the horizon that loomed immovably._

_“She passed away years ago now, but she saw you. And although I don’t like to influence these things now that she’s no longer around, I feel that I have to speak to you. The ramifications of the path that you are on are too wide-reaching for our world. A man with red-skin, whom you have begun to open your heart to, will be your undoing. You think you may want intimacy with him, but that way lies insanity. I mean it,_ insanity _. An insidious foe worse than anyone you’ve ever known will plant the seeds that will bear the vines that will choke you.”_

_“We need your mind. We need your talent in this world. Think very carefully about who you choose. I know your heart entertains feelings for others- ones that make you smile,” Mystique implored with gentle sincerity. She reached for Wanda’s cheek and brushed a lock of her rufescent hair behind her ear affectionately. Wanda remained tense and stared at Mystique for a few more moments before she got up without a word and headed indoors._

_“Was that really necessary?” Jean Grey said quietly from the shadows of a large shrubbery. She stepped out into the light and revealed that her eyes had turned completely black. “It’s not your usual style to interfere for the greater good if it includes the rest of humanity and not just the Mutants who see things your way.”_

_“Of all the terrible realities that our many selves live in, I would like for this one to be a universe I could like just a little bit,” Mystique sighed. “It’ll still be sad and it’ll still be terrible, but perhaps not the worst it could be. That girl choosing the android is a very bad idea.”_

_“But what would_ not _choosing the android bring?” Jean posed. “He’ll be even lonelier than the Mutants who’ve been abandoned by the rest of humanity.”_

_“He’ll sink or swim,” Mystique stated bluntly. “And if he sinks into hell, we won’t let the likes of Ultron happen again.”_

_Jean nodded and sauntered off to meet her student._

_A twig snapped purposefully behind Mystique and she turned around in her seat to see Natalia standing behind her. The redhead had an impassive expression on her face and her arms at her sides, ready to move if she needed._

_“You’re absolutely adorable pregnant!” Mystique squealed._

_“Don’t give me that bullshit,” Natalia replied tersely. “What was that?”_

_“That was what you saw and you saw it all,” Mystique stated casually. “I’m surprised you can still get up a tree. Twins sure do make you balloon very suddenly.”_

_“I am not a balloon,” Natalia retorted, “and obviously as a master spy I can still get up a tree. I let you know I was there.”_

_Mystique smirked infuriatingly, making Natalia want to smack the patronising look off her face. She stayed her hand and continued to argue: “I can get up a tree because I’m not wearing that horrendous muumuu tent thing you have on. It’s an insult to muumuus everywhere, even mid-nineties Middle America. Hawaiians would demand you burned that thing. I’d never wear something like that- not even for a mission. Now answer my question.”_

_“Irritable much? Fine,” Mystique acquiesced with feigned nonchalance. Natalia knew she’d worn the damn horrid dress while taking her form to rib her. “If Wanda and Vision fall in love she will lose her mind. Things will happen to her because of what the both of them are which will ruin her. He will continue, but she will die. I don’t want to see that. I don’t want anyone to see that world. I’m not always in it for me, Natalia. You should have learned that by now. I’ve learned the same thing about you.”_

_“We can’t take away people’s choices, Raven,” Natalia said sombrely._

_“Which is why I’m giving her a choice,” Mystique snapped, leaping to her feet to confront Natalia. “You need to watch over her. I can’t do it and Erik messes so many things up.”_

_“I am watching over her,” Natalia reminded her. “But while I could, I also watched over Vision. He deserves the chance to be human.”_

_“He is currently the only being on this planet that needs to prove his humanity,” Mystique shot back. “Don’t forget, he is the product of a man’s mind- a man who put the world in danger so many times before because of his desire to play god and create his own race.”_

_“That’s not what Tony was trying to do,” Natalia disputed. “And there are many other foolish people who have messed with robotics.”_

_“But none who have wreaked as much havoc as Stark,” Mystique pointed out. “You’re paying for it, Little Sister. Where is he right now?”_

_Natalia glowered at Mystique. The tall blonde shrugged the tension out of her shoulders and leaned in to kiss Natalia’s cheek. “I really am here to see you get married, Natalia. And I want to see your children born safely. I know what it’s like to be vulnerable during labour. I wouldn’t wish on anyone the things I had to do. I’m not a great mother, I’m a terrible sister, but I can be a good friend when you really need me. I too like constants in my life. If we don’t die in the coming shit-storm that we both know is on the horizon, we’ll still be constants in each other’s lives even if it is just a nod while we pass each other by in the shadows.”_

_“You can stay,” Natalia replied after a long pause. “If you can convince Ororo to let you stay. Also, not too much mischief. We have too many pranksters congregated in one place and it’s getting a little exhausting.”_

_Mystique smiled genuinely at her crimson-haired counterpart._

 

 

“I don’t even know what to think,” Steve exhaled after Natalia had finished her account. He scratched his jaw and then ruffed up one side of his hair. “Do you think her concerns are valid?”

 

“We all knew that we would have to watch over and help Vision adjust to human life,” Natalia said. “Now we’re not there. J.A.R.V.I.S. looked after Tony, now it’s sort of the other way around. I’m not sure that we can trust that to work. Rhodey has too much on his plate, and Tony in his middle-age is still learning to be an adult. Tony’s used to asking the impossible of J.A.R.V.I.S., who always came through. Vision is not J.A.R.V.I.S.  He puts so much pressure on Vision and expects him to comply to his will, especially once people started to leave his life en masse. He expects robotic perfection from Vision, not human flaws. I think Vision is now more alone than we could conceive.”

 

“But Wanda can’t be a crutch for him, even though she’s the person he relates to most,” Steve considered. “You know that I always believe that you can influence the outcome. You just have to keep trying. But it is Wanda’s choice.”

 

“A right I know she cherishes,” Natalia said. “I just don’t understand why Mystique had to do this now. Wanda really is still so young.”

 

“Maybe she was thinking along the lines of how we tend to make our greatest mistakes when we’re young,” Steve guessed. He frowned and probed curiously, “Who is supposed to be the other contender that Wanda’s considering opening up her heart to?”

 

“My money’s on Bucky,” Natalia theorised firmly. Steve glared at her in alarm. “What? He’s really charming and sweet. Plus there’s the whole reformed bad boy thing. It works.”

 

“He’s like ninety seven!” Steve griped. Natalia laughed aloud at him, kissing his nose when he continued to scowl. “You can’t lecture either of them. Anyway, it’s not a certainty. Besides she already has Pietro to speedily take down suitors without you throwing your weight into the mix. And she’s been trained by me. My brush-offs are legendary.”

 

“Yeah, well, Bucky has a seventy year old still ticked off at him for something that he did in the sixties,” Steve responded grouchily. “That’s more than four decades, Nat.”

 

“He did get around a lot for a supposed ‘machine’ under mental lock and key,” Natalia giggled. “I swear he must’ve gotten some during every mission or something those first couple of years. It’s really quite skilful how he pulled that off.”

 

“Well he’s a born charmer,” Steve observed. “And he broods irritatingly well. How does he look so poignant?”

 

“Are you jealous of your best friend’s brooding abilities Steven Grant Rogers?” Natalia hooted with laughter.

 

“No, I am not,” Steve blushed. “It’s just that he looks good while everyone else looks like an idiot when they brood.”

 

“You’re making the Beans kick!” Natalia gasped as she tried to catch her breath. She froze suddenly and sat up to yell: “Raven get off my roof now!”

 

Steve elevated himself onto his elbows and stared at the place Natalia was looking at on the ceiling. A moment later Clint’s form dropped onto the balcony, resting on his haunches, and then quickly morphed into Mystique’s blue frame. The woman grinned at them, stood up, shrugged and then changed into the statuesque blonde she’d been earlier while conversing with Natalia.

 

Mystique slid the screen door and sliding doors open and slipped in, shutting up behind her by touch while she kept her eyes on the couple.

 

“He is quite a specimen up close, Little Sister,” Mystique bantered. 

 

Steve sat up quickly and sprung to his feet to greet Mystique. He offered his hand to Mystique to shake, which she accepted.

 

“Mystique, this is Steve,” Natalia introduced blithely. “Steve: Mystique- also sometimes known as Raven Darkhölme.”

 

“I hear you like kissing blondes,” Mystique said innocently. Steve lurched back, reddening quickly, but Mystique’s strong grip held him in place.

 

“I will stab you in the boob with a spoon if you try to tongue him, Raven,” Natalia growled, although she was also trying not to laugh at the same time.

 

“Only a small peck,” Mystique pleaded teasingly. “If you let me do so now, Steve, you won’t have to worry about being launched upon by any of the faces you know and trust when you least expect it.”

 

Steve tried not to groan and offered his cheek. Of course, Mystique grabbed his jaw to lay a smacker on his mouth while Natalia snickered breathlessly in the background.

 

“You are way too amused by this,” Steve said as he returned to Natalia to kiss her passionately and thus remove the mark of another person on his lips for the second time that day.

 

“It’s hilarious,” Natalia told him. “Your face is brilliant.”

 

Natalia sucked in a few deep glee-quelling breaths and questioned Mystique. “So what brings you to our rooftop tonight?”

 

“I wanted to see if you guys had crazy steamy sex,” Mystique said deadpan. Natalia rolled her eyes at the blonde and threw a Snickers bar at her head, which Mystique deftly caught. She opened the wrapper up and bit into the bar. “I’m also in the middle of a prank. I met Clint in the air-ducts earlier and we’re pranking Sam Wilson. The reveal is going to be the shit.”

 

“As long as you film it,” Natalia waved. “Now get out of our room so we can have ‘crazy steamy sex’.”

 

Mystique morphed back into Clint’s form and left via the balcony, casually flipping Natalia off with a smirk and a wink as a salutation.

 

“We might not have everyone with us,” Steve declared, “But we’re definitely in for a hell of a ride in these coming months.”

 

“Yeah,” Natalia agreed as she pulled him down next to her on the bed. She whispered excitedly: “We’re getting married tomorrow, Steve.”

 

Steve grinned and repeated back to her: “We’re getting married tomorrow, Nat.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Steve used up a year’s worth of suaveness in his proposal.


	19. Holiday (Part 3: And For Once Murphy Did Not Show Up)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe I’m on Chapter Nineteen- when I first conceived this story, it was only meant to be seven to nine chapters! 
> 
> This chapter took so long to write because when I started on it, the flow was bothering me. It just didn’t work and I had to scrap it. I had to go back and think about my aims and my threads. Then I had to corral my mind and actually write instead of reading everybody else’s lovely stories, flip over to other fandoms to read those stories and click on new Webtoons that looked interesting. I found that difficult in the sudden heat wave happening where I live. We went from winter straight into thirty degree Celsius plus weather. So now I’m getting nose-bleeds from the suddenly very dry air.

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Nineteen

 

Holiday (Part 3: And For Once Murphy Did Not Show Up)

Tuesday, 16 August 2016

“I can’t believe you’re getting married before me,” Sam sighed contemplatively. He had shiny silver aviator sunglasses on which only brought to attention the fact that he was still nursing a hangover.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Steve questioned with a frown. Steve looked as chipper as a damn cartoon chipmunk in spite of the ‘kidnapping’ conducted by his die-hard stag party organisers. They’d narrowly missed being nicked by a grouchy Natalia’s shuriken blades. She had apparently been waiting for them to pull their stunt and had just fallen asleep, when they decided to carry out their plan. Not that there was much to do in terms of a traditional western bachelor party.

 

Wakanda was not the kind of place that had strip clubs on one end of any town. Wakandan women were likely to punch a man in the gnads if he had been found to have visited such a place, nor were they likely to be convinced that a woman working in a strip joint was there of her own free will and choice. Too many Wakandan girls and women from other neighbouring countries had been trafficked and held hostage abroad. Wakandans were more likely to generalise and see a stripper as sex worker who needed to be rescued.

 

Steve being Steve, respected the professionals’ choice to do what they did for a living, but he wouldn’t have gone for that kind of thing for his bachelor party anyway. And Natalia would have gutted them- literally. The only woman dancing around Steve in any kind of sensual exotic matter would be Natalia, and Steve could honestly say he did not mind that fate.

 

Steve could not really get drunk, unless Thor brought some mead, but the dude was still not answering the intergalactic equivalent for a phone he was supposed to be carrying. Bucky processed liquor really fast too. So Bucky and Sam had to scratch their heads for a bit on what could provide enough of a thrill to make Steve’s stag-do memorable. They talked to T’Challa, and found out about some of the Wakandan pre-wedding traditions it would not be deemed offensive to try out as foreigners. They settled on a sort of test of courage, which was diving from the highest waterfall in Wakanda. It also happened to be less than twenty kilometres from the Royal Palace grounds.

 

So at three fifteen that morning Steve found himself being encouraged by Bucky, Sam, Pietro, T’Challa and Clint to take a tumble through the air and into a gorge ringed with jagged sides that opened up into a deep cave pool. It got Olympic-level competitive. Sunrise was greeted with the consumption of traditional Wakandan liquor which burned like some kind of dragon spit. It was almost as effective as Asgardian mead. Further jumping off of waterfalls was quickly halted, and the trip back to the palace was made before anyone did anything too ‘courageous’.  

 

After a very short bout of sleep, the gang were forced to start getting ready for Natalia and Steve’s wedding, which was scheduled for that afternoon at three. By then the day would have cooled down enough to do things outdoors. Winter at the Equator was just a less rainy summer in Wakanda.

 

“Steve’s a keeper,” Bucky drawled from his relaxed slouch on the sofa he was occupying. The groom and groomsmen were getting ready in Bucky’s suite and had already put on their tuxedos and styled themselves neatly. “Of course he would get married first. I always expected Steve to get married first- even when he was a little shrimp in art school.”

 

“I’m just saying I was witness to this guy’s attempts at making real-life conversation with women for years, and I was seriously considering getting him a cat to pet in his awkwardness-induced solitude. Except I know he’s a dog-person, and Labradors need a lot of consistent attention,” Sam commented. He attempted to take off his sunglasses and winced, before quickly putting them back on. “I need another pain killer. I need a gallon of orange juice.”

 

“You’ve already had a gallon of orange juice. If you twist around trying to hide the fact that you need to take a whizz during the ceremony, you know that Clint will never let you live it down,” Steve reprimanded. “Also, Bucky or Victoria might find a way to subtly injure you.”

 

“Ha! It’ll be Victoria,” Bucky scoffed.

 

“Still drinking O.J.,” Sam called as he left the room to head to the kitchen.  

 

“Did you really expect me to get hitched?” Steve asked Bucky curiously.

 

“Yep,” the handsome dark-haired man answered easily. “I thought you’d meet some girl in art school. They generally had broader minds and could see the essence of a person. I knew all you needed was to find a dame who saw you for you.”

 

“Yeah,” Steve mused. “I did find that in the end.”

 

“No, you recognised it eventually. From what I’ve heard, you had to be walloped on the head with the fact that you almost lost her to someone else before you made a real move,” Bucky smirked. Steve narrowed his eyes at Bucky and flopped onto the couch beside him. “If you wrinkle your suit, I will steam it on you and I don’t care if you get burned.”

 

“Look at how you’re sitting,” Steve protested.

 

“This is artfully done,” Bucky countered. “I won’t get wrinkles.”

 

Steve sighed and straightened out his suit carefully. “So… how are you?”

 

Bucky rolled his eyes at Steve. “Are you really going to try to have a heart-to-heart about my emotional well-being right now?”  

 

“I want to know how you are,” Steve shrugged feigning nonchalance.

 

“You had a couple-talk with Nata,” Bucky accused. “Now you think there’s something about me to worry about! We talk about how I am every day and you know I’m doin’ okay, but that too-casual voice you’re using gives you away today- the day you should be freaking out about yourself. What is it now?”

 

“I was just wondering what your thoughts on love and future relationships were,” Steve said in that still-too-casual manner. Bucky scrutinised him before sighing heavily. Steve groaned and then let the gravity he was truly feeling reflect in his demeanour. “I’m just worried about a whole lot of things and a whole lot of people, Buck. But you know I worry most about you. The way you put so much effort into this wedding, it’s like you never expect it to happen to you.”

 

“Honestly, I don’t know if I expect it ever to happen to me, Steve,” Bucky admitted. “I’m not even sure I know what love is anymore, or if I ever did. I know I’ve never felt anything like what I saw between you and Peggy. I definitely haven’t experienced what I see you and Nata experiencing. Nor anything like T’Challa and Ororo, or Clint and Laura. But I just want to get used to being alive- really alive.”

 

“Hmm,” Steve acknowledged. “Just whatever you do, know that it’s okay to go slow.”

 

“Are you shitting me?” Bucky guffawed after a pause. “I think you just gave me a line outta a speech I gave to one of my _sisters_ when a boy asked her out for the first time.”

 

“Well, I’m kinda trying to watch out for a little sister too,” Steve grumbled.

 

“That again!” Bucky exclaimed. “Steve, I had sisters. I know. Also, it’s me, today. Wanda may be younger than us- by a lot- but she is a woman. I respect her. I know what I am, and I know who she is. All I want is to make her smile.”

 

“That’s how it starts,” Steve muttered. He raised a brow at his best friend who was scowling seriously at him. “But I get it. And I know I owe Wanda more credit, but I’m me.”

 

“And I wouldn’t change ya for the world,” Bucky said as he flung his arm around Steve and mussed his hair up.

 

“Bucky! There’s forty five minutes until the ceremony!” Steve protested as he tried to smooth his hair down.

 

“Yes, and your hair looked stupid,” Bucky said bluntly. He then proceeded to ‘fix’ Steve’s hair.

 

“Hey, Steve,” Bucky said quietly. “I’m really happy for you and Natalia. I’ve always thought that she deserved a guy as great as you. I wished so much that you were alive and that I could introduce you to her as a grown woman- even when I was under her spell, y’know. She’s special. Her heart is just… she can care about the most pitiful slob because she sees the decency buried in them. You’re like that too. Promise me you’ll keep making each other happy. After everything that life’s thrown at you, you both deserve a win.”

 

Steve held his friend’s gaze, searching his eyes in wonderment. “You know, I said something like that about Natalia before to someone else. I thought I lost my chance with her and wanted her to move on and be happy.”

 

“Well, I know that she’s with the guy I know will do anything to make her happy. She’s my friend too,” Bucky smiled. “Seeing you two together feels right.”

 

Sam waltzed in with a gallon bottle of orange juice and a very long loopy kiddie straw, breaking the sentimental moment between the two old friends. He’d met Ororo downstairs and she predicted an orange juice stain, so the straw was a compromise.  

 

“Dude,” Sam spoke up from the lounger he draped himself over. His voice was low and monotonous in accordance with the exhaustion he was still experiencing. “You’re getting married. How’re you that calm?”

 

“I’m in exactly the right place. This is what I want,” Steve answered. “I know it’s not rainbows and doves, but I’ve never been more sure of anything than Natalia.”

 

“You had rainbows for your proposal, and I think we can get you doves for your second ceremony. Though, doves crapped all over the place at my cousin’s wedding. Crapped on my aunt’s new five thousand dollar weave. Crapped on the piano. Crapped on the wedding cake figurines. Crapped in the father of the bride’s mouth. Doves are not such a great idea,” Sam told them deadpan.

 

Steve and Bucky slowly began to chuckle and then broke out into full-blown laughter as they imagined the scene.

 

“I have pictures,” Sam added. They perused Sam’s album of the event on his phone until a knock at the door interrupted them.

 

“Disassemble, Meatballs,” Clint instructed calmly. “I’ve come to give a customary threat to the groom and I need him to be alone for that.”

 

“Meatballs?” Sam questioned as he got up.

 

“Yes,” Clint nodded with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “Nat says that you three are ‘Meatballs from the same sauce’.”

 

“What kind of ‘meatballs’?” Sam asked curiously. “Italian meatballs, Swedish köttbullar, Spanish albondigas, Japanese tsukune, Middle-eastern koftas…”

 

“Romanian chiftele,” Bucky continued.

 

“Do you think there’s time for meatballs?” Sam enquired. “I suddenly got my appetite back.”

 

“How? You have more than a gallon of orange juice in you,” Steve critiqued.

 

“Do I ever question your food consumption choices?” Sam sassed back.

 

“I want meatballs too, now,” Bucky declared as he absently rubbed his stomach.

 

“Do any of you realise that you’re wearing tuxedos and there is a wedding in half an hour which you are paying a central part in?” Clint interjected.

 

“Does it look like I ever spill anything?” Bucky proclaimed. “I don’t even have wrinkles and I’ve been lounging on that sofa.”

 

“And I have a loopy straw,” Sam added with a smug smirk. They both sauntered out and left a chuckling Clint with a keenly anticipative Steve.

 

Clint turned to Steve and slowly made his way over to an armchair that was opposite the sofa and sat down.

 

“So are you ready for this?” Clint asked Steve.

 

“So ready,” Steve answered with a grin.

 

“I’m serious,” Clint said with a gentle smile. He noted Steve’s offended expression before he continued. “I already know you’re not going to get cold feet and leave. What I mean is: are you ready for _all_ of this? You’re going to marry Natalia, and in a few months you’re going to have twins. You’re still on the run.”

 

“Spending my life with Natalia has always been the plan,” Steve assured him. “But I won’t lie and say I’m not worried about bringing kids into the world. I was Captain America, and I’m not sure what my role in the world is now, or who I have to be to help keep it safe. But you did it: You have a family and you still can stand up for what’s right with your all. You showed me that it’s possible. Somehow, Natalia and I can find a way, and if we can’t we aren’t so arrogant as to believe that there aren’t people as capable as us who can fill the void.”

 

Clint gazed at him for a long moment before replying: “Good answer. I know you’re a good guy, Steve. Geez, you’re a guy who insists on paying taxes to the country that’s hiding you and still sneaks what he owes to the IRS’s coffers. You do the right thing. And you love it. It’s going to be overwhelming for you both, but I now you’ll be able to handle it. And you’ve got us if you need to talk, or need help. I understand what it’s like being a father and doing this work. I understand what it’s like being a father, and feeling the call to do this work. You want them, and every other little kid to stay safe. They’re going to be the best thing you ever did with your life, man. I’m really happy that Nat gets to share that with a man like you.”

 

“Thanks, Clint,” Steve said gruffly, trying not to choke up at the heartfelt words. “I’m really happy that Nat, the Beans and I have you, Laura and the kids as our family.”

 

“Steve,” Sam’s voice called from the other side of the door. “If you’re alive in there, can we come in? We got something for ya.”

 

“If I had him tied up and bound like a hog, what would you have done?” Clint called jokingly.

 

“Wondered what kind of kink you and Laura were into,” Sam replied breezily as he opened the door and walked in with a small bowl of meatballs in one hand and his gallon bottle of orange juice tucked under the other arm. Bucky was behind him with a whole platter of meatballs. Living in a palace had its perks.

 

“Apparently this is a wedding gift for you guys,” Bucky said as he gestured to someone next to him.  

 

 

@>-`-,-----

 

 

“I’m back,” Clint crooned as he slipped back into Steve and Natalia’s suite where Natalia was getting ready. Natalia was already in her dress and she was fidgeting with last-minute re-adjustments to her hair in front of the mirror she was seated in front of. The photographer, who was also one of the Wakandan Royal Guard, had already taken her photos and had left the bridal party to enjoy their final moments before the ceremony.

 

Victoria frowned at him and scolded plainly: “Clinton, you know how irritable Natalia is and yet you still insist on saying the irritatingly obvious.”

 

“Whoa,” Clint exclaimed with his hand held up. “What did I step into?”

 

“Nothing,” Natalia snipped.

 

“It’s just hot,” Victoria said.

 

“The air-con is on,” Clint pointed out, “and you do have ice. Cheer up. Besides, there’s a gift waiting for you and Steve that I’m sure you’ll love.”

 

“Did you just tell us to cheer up because we mentioned the _equatorial humidity_ was getting to us?” Victoria scoffed. Clint opened his mouth to retort, but was cut off by Natalia.

 

“What is that in your jacket pocket? What happened to your pocket square?” Natalia interrogated; she’d swivelled around in her make-up chair and was pointing at the offending item to the left of his lavender rosebud boutonnière.

 

“This is a-” Clint began as he quickly glanced down and put his hand over his chest pocket.

 

“Is that a trading card of sorts,” Victoria inspected as she put her glasses on. She was dressed in a pale gold dress that swathed around her body to accentuate her waist and hourglass figure.

 

“It’s a last minute change that all the guys in the wedding are wearing,” Clint explained.

 

“A last minute change in _my wedding_ instigated by James Barnes?” Natalia questioned with a flare of ire. “I’m already wearing a damn empire line dress because of him!”

 

“Natalia, calm down darling,” Victoria soothed. “You know that if you wore anything more constricting today, you’d overheat and faint and that wouldn’t be good. That dress is silk chiffon and light. You’ll be comfortable, and you look beautiful in it.”

 

“I look like a lost extra for ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’!” Natalia growled. She emphatically dropped her cheek into her palm to rest her head against it as she leaned her elbow on the back of her seat.  

 

“Well then why did you wear your hair loose and curly like a woodland sprite?” Clint bantered. “You’re smudging your make-up with your hand on your face like that.”

 

Natalia grumbled in frustration as she checked her hand and saw that make-up had indeed melted onto her palm in the few seconds she had made contact with her skin.

 

“Do you want me to re-do it?” Clint asked. Make-up artistry was one of the skills in his spy-set that he particularly excelled at, and he’d done Natalia’s make-up earlier. Victoria had started it off, but she and Natalia had not agreed on what should be worn for a wedding. Clint knew to let Natalia have her way, having had extended experience of the terror that Natalia could be while pregnant. Natalia nodded and Clint began to work his magic.

 

“That’s a fucking Captain America trading card in your pocket!” Natalia muttered as she let Clint reapply her lip stain. He stopped what he was doing to glare at her and when her lips were still again he resumed.

 

“Are you still freaking out? Are you ready?” Clint asked quietly.

 

“I am still a little worried that a drone will suddenly appear and blow up my wedding, yes; but I’m completely sure and decided about everything else,” Natalia answered calmly.

 

“Good,” Victoria remarked. “And don’t worry about anything going wrong. You are surrounded by highly dangerous and effective people who all love you. The only thing that could possibly go wrong is if Samuel finds he needs the bathroom after all that orange juice and wiggles a bit distractingly during your vows.”

 

“Steve’s ready for this- all of this,” Clint informed her. Natalia nodded her acknowledgement and they continued in silence. “He’s the right guy Nat.”

 

“I know,” Natalia murmured with a soft smile.

 

“We should get ready to go down,” Victoria suggested as she gathered up Natalia’s bouquet and veil. She handed Natalia the fragrant posy of lavender coloured roses and pink peonies, chosen for their meaning of ‘love at first sight’ and ‘romantic love and a happy marriage’.  Next, Victoria secured the Fabergé-made diadem that she had lent to Natalia as her something borrowed as well as her veil to Natalia’s crimson hair.

 

Looking in the mirror, Natalia griped flatly, “I really look a fucking fairy creature.”

 

The dress that Natalia wore was a chiffon empire line dress with a Queen Anne neckline. A beaded belt of silver and Swarovski crystals cinched in the silhouette under her bust and the short sleeves were delicately embroidered in swirling leaf patterns. Her veil was long enough to drape over her entire person and it was an antique. Her bit of blue was hidden as it was her garter.   

 

Victoria laughed and hugged her from behind. “You look beautiful, and Steven’s probably going to cry when he sees you.”

 

“I won’t take that bet because I’ll probably lose,” Clint proclaimed. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

 

“Hold on,” Natalia said as she turned to grasp both of her friends’ hands with her own.

 

“I’m so thankful to you both,” Natalia told them as she clasped their hands tightly. “Clint, you taught me that love does exist in so many forms, and that romantic love in particular exists for people like us too; and Victoria, you taught me that if you feel something at your core for someone then it does not fade. Maybe they’re lessons that ordinary people just know, but I couldn’t and wouldn’t grasp those concepts for the longest time. But you already know that I’m stubborn. You two were there quietly. You were there. Steve was there too, and maybe if I didn’t recognise that what he was doing sticking to my side was the way that you two both knew how to love me, then I might not have been getting married at all. I might have kept blinding myself to his presence.”

 

“Well, actually if you two did not get together soon Laura, Pepper and I had concocted a rather brilliant ruse to get you and Steve stranded on an island together,” Clint confessed with a shrug. “That man has eyes that put Labradors to shame and he’d been using them to look at you for years. And I _so_ knew you were checking him out on your periphery.”

 

“I just had another idea for the dudoir!” Clint exclaimed suddenly. He whispered it into Victoria’s ear.  She cracked up and then wrote it down on the list they’d been compiling. Natalia peeked down at it and had to stifle a guffaw herself. 

 

“Way to ruin a heartfelt moment Clint,” Natalia sighed, rolling her eyes as she did. She nudged his shoulder with hers and smirked up at him. They quickly glanced around the room to make sure they had everything and made their way down to the ornamental garden that was the scene for Natalia and Steve’s wedding.

 

The ceremony was to take place in at the end of an avenue of flowered arbours that had been designed by T’Challa’s grandparents and was covered in red and white bi-colour creeping roses. Wakanda grew excellent roses that were exported to countries around the world, and those in the Royal Gardens were the very best. A small white and gold tent was the designated waiting place for the bridal party before the ceremony was due to begin and the trio met a few others there before everything commenced.    

 

Lila and Cooper bounced up to them and quickly delivered good luck kisses before they ran back to their stations, ready to assume their roles as flower girl and ring bearer respectively. A surprise for Natalia and Victoria came in the form of Ivan Simanov, who had made it to the wedding just in time and rushed up to smother them in affection before slipping into the small ceremony and taking a seat next to Nick Fury.

 

Clint and Victoria were to both walk Natalia down the aisle. She did not want to be ‘given away’, but she did want the support of her matron of honour and her man of honour as she walked towards the love of her life. After a few last-minute checks, Natalia nodded that she was ready to the Palace Liaison who had organised the event. The piano music changed from Pachelbel’s ‘Canon in D’ to the  delicate melody of Des’ree’s ‘Kissing You’ and Lila and Cooper made their way out and down the aisle before Natalia took her place at the beginning of the white carpet with Clint and Victoria at her side. Jonathan Cain’s ‘Bridal March’, which was a reworking of the ‘Here comes the Bride’ theme, started.

 

Natalia quickly took in the small crowd assembled and beamed at them in appreciation for sharing the special moment in her and Steve’s life together. Laura was up front and ready to corral her kids with Nathan in her arms. Pietro and Wanda were seated together next to a blonde Mystique and Jean. Ororo beamed at her next to a smirking Logan who had managed to make it to the ceremony. Next to him, Pepper waved excitedly. Natalia should have known that Pepper always made it happen. In the next row, Scott Lang wore the biggest grin she had ever seen on the man, and he’d brought a plus-one: his girlfriend Hope, who had been interesting to communicate with over video-chat when they had brought her and Hank Pym into their network. Scott’s daughter, Cassie was also present, which would be great for Lila. Dr Pym, Nick and Ivan sat together near the back and seemed to be muttering wisecracks at each other. Natalia would have loved to have listened in on that conversation but her attention was drawn up front to the altar.

 

Sam looked uncomfortable, and like he was suppressing the urge to fidget. Bucky elbowed him to prompt him to smile and turned to glance at Natalia before he focused on his best friend beside him.

 

Steve had the gentlest, most heart-wrenching smile adorning his features and Natalia felt herself tearing up as they locked gazes. She would have started weeping, if it were not for the fact that she noticed something totally unexpected behind Steve at the altar. Instead of just T’Challa waiting to officiate, a very familiar and dear person stood next to the Wakandan monarch: Phil Coulson.

 

Natalia gasped and let out a peep of surprise as her hand flew to cover her mouth. She returned her gaze to Steve’s face and he just grinned wider and shrugged his shoulders.

 

“Wedding present from Fury,” Steve mouthed at her. Natalia glanced gratefully at her long-time friend in the audience, and Nick nodded at her. The unusual occurrence of a small genuine smile on his visage was truly appreciated. Natalia turned her attention back to Steve and felt so ready to marry him.

 

The tears were truly flowing then and somehow, between giggles of happiness Clint and Victoria were able to guide her up to join Steve. She barely registered Clint and Victoria’s kisses on her cheeks. Under the veil, Natalia couldn’t tell if Steve had teared up or not, but when he lifted the sheer fabric she saw that the whites of his eyes were tinged pink.

 

“You look so beautiful,” Steve whispered. The tips of his fingers brushed up and down her arms.

 

“You look so handsome,” Natalia whispered back. She noted that Steve, Bucky and Sam were all wearing Captain America trading cards instead of pocket squares, and so were T’Challa and Phil. “I take it Phil is the reason why you guys abandoned the rose-fold pocket squares that Bucky spent an hour yesterday justifying to Vicky.”

 

Steve nodded as he grinned at her giddily. Natalia handed her bouquet to Victoria and took Phil’s hand to pull him into a hug.

 

“Thank you for being here,” she told him earnestly.

 

“Hey, even though you’re on the run, you are still American citizens and so you still need the necessary US paperwork to be filed. I know how to get this processed discreetly and where to bury the file,” Phil told her. “Besides, I’m basically going beyond my bucket list doing this for you two.”

 

Natalia laughed and joined hands with Steve so T’Challa could begin the ceremony.

 

“Friends,” T’Challa began, “today we are gathered to celebrate one of the beauties that make life worth living. Of all the wonders in the Universe, love is perhaps the most important. We strive for love, we build for love, we sacrifice for love and we fight for love.

 

“I’ve gotten to know Steve and Natalia quite well over the past few months. I know that they are my friends and allies for life. I feel as though through a tumultuous path we forged a familial bond. I remember that my initial impression of them, before I even got to meet with them for the first time, was that they were a married couple. It took a hyperventilating Steve to find out that they were not. But through his gasping breaths and shrill panicky admissions on my study floor, I managed to find out that he was determined to marry Natalia and had been for a very long time.

 

“And then when I finally saw them free to interact with each other in my presence, I knew they were meant to experience the bond that is marriage together.”

 

“Steve, Natalia,” T’Challa addressed them, “This is going to be the most beautiful, difficult and rewarding endeavour you will ever have- more so because you’re about to extend your family by two. My advice to you is to stay kind to each other. Keep listening. Make time for each other. Grow with each other. Believe that your spouse supports you. Believe in each other and your love for each other. Communicate with each other, even if you’re so tired of talking you wish the world went back to the days when grunts sufficed as enough for humanity. You’re in this together and don’t forget that.”

 

T’Challa stepped back and Phil stepped forward.

 

“I honestly never thought I’d be standing where I am today,” Phil admitted. “Don’t take me wrong- I saw the spark between you two immediately. But I thought I was just being a fanboy, as Tony would have said, and making things up in my mind. Then I noticed: ‘hey, they really would make a great couple’. You guys don’t know it, but I tried to fix you up with each other.”

 

Steve and Natalia glanced at each other in confusion before returning their attention to Phil.

 

“Except, Nat here, was trying to fix Steve up with everyone else under the sun.” The audience laughed.

 

“So I decided to let the Universe decide what was meant to be, and hey presto: the Universe acknowledged that I was right!” Phil said with a fist-pump in the air. The crowd laughed again. “And I’m so happy that I was right, because you two deserve good things. I’ve never seen two people so in tune with each other, and so understanding of each other while still being able to respect each other with all the dignity a fellow human deserves. You were meant to be, and you made it work. I’m so proud to know that you love each other.”

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” T’Challa announced as soon as Phil stepped back. “The bride and groom have written their own vows. If you please, would you begin Steve?”

 

Steve nodded and turned to Natalia, whose hands he had not let go of once he had gotten a grasp on them.

 

“Chapter Three- have you got your pen, Natshechka?” Steve teased. She poked her tongue out at him and he chuckled in reply. “Natalia, I promised that I would write the story of the rest of my life with you. I promise that this story will be filled with the love I have for you. I promise to show you that I love you, even when we’re mad at each other. I promise to love you when it gets difficult and to help you find a way out of the difficult times together. I promise to be there even if it gets so dark the only things we can see are phosphenes. But I want you to know throughout it all I’ll be holding your hand. And if you don’t have the strength to hold my hand, I’ll carry you and care for you until you can again. I promise to listen to you and decide with you. I promise that we’ll live together as a couple, even if we are separated by distance. I will support you in everything that you decide for yourself and help you achieve your goals to the best of my abilities.”

 

“So if I decide that you’re not to hang out with any blondes…” Natalia teased in whisper.

 

“So you won’t let me hang out with Thor any longer?” Steve quipped. “Done.”

 

“Kidding, kidding,” Natalia snickered with him. “I couldn’t resist.”

 

“Natalia, I will be faithful to you forever. And I’m catholic so I mean that,” Steve grinned at her. “You’re the only woman for me.”

 

Natalia smiled radiantly at him and began her own vows.

 

“Steve, I met you a really long time ago before I had any idea of the woman I would become. You were my first real crush,” Natalia confessed. Steve smirked at her and she narrowed her eyes at him playfully before continuing. “But I guess something at my core recognised something about your core that resonated on the same frequency. When we met again, it was still there. It took me a long time to admit that to myself. It took you an even longer time to ask me out on a real date!”

 

“Lord knows I badgered him to,” Sam mumbled. Steve and the rest of the audience chuckled.

 

“But I’m glad I got to know you so deeply. I’m glad we got to have a slow build to romance,” Natalia told him. “I’m so happy that you’re the one I get to bond my life to. I promise to make it the best life we can have. I promise to let you feel that even if life keeps hurling us into storms, you have my love unconditionally. I promise to make rainbows when I can, as cheesy as it sounds, just because I want to share them with you. I promise to be your anchor that brings you back from the depths and hauls you onto dry land where you can breathe freely. I promise to let you be, because I know you are strong and I know you also are just a man like I’m just a woman and we’re both human. But I will also call you on any crazy plans, the kind you just love jumping headfirst into. I’ll do it because I want to keep you with me, keep you safe because it’s your heart that I love most. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I don’t want to know what I’d do without you.”

 

“I love you and I’m faithfully yours forever, Steve Rogers,” Natalia promised.

 

“I love you and I’m faithfully yours forever, Natalia Romanova,” Steve vowed to her.

 

“Just for official clarity,” T’Challa spoke up. “Do you Steven Grant Rogers take Natalia Alianova Romanova to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

 

The group chuckled and Steve answered, “I do.”

 

“Do you Natalia Alianova Romanova take Steven Grant Rogers to be your lawfully wedded husband?” T’Challa asked.

 

“I definitely do,” Natalia replied.  

 

“If we could have the rings,” T’Challa asked. Cooper stepped up and held out the mulberry purple velvet pillow with two simple platinum rings tied to it. The couple fumbled a bit with the tie and Bucky stepped forward to help untie the rather well done knot. It had been Sam’s job and he’d obviously taken it seriously. Lost wedding rings were not happening on his watch. They chuckled while Bucky struggled, and thanked him once the rings were free.

 

“With this ring, I, Steven Grant Rogers, bind my life to yours, Natalia Alianova Romanova, in lawful matrimony until death us do part,” Steve swore. He slipped the Natalia’s slimmer ring onto her finger and it slotted perfectly against her engagement ring.

 

“With this ring, I, Natalia Alianova Romanova, bind my life to yours, Steven Grant Rogers, in lawful matrimony until death us do part,” Natalia vowed. She placed the chunky ring with a trio of tiny round cut diamonds embedded in its surface representing the past, present and future on the ring finger of his left hand. Their rings matched in design. Natalia glanced up at Steve as soon as that was done and the couple smiled warmly at each other.

 

“Well if you would sign here, and here, and here and here,” Phil interrupted officiously, garnering a laugh. Those who knew him had heard those words said in that exact tone many times before. Phil smirked at them as they signed both the Wakandan and American documents.

 

Phil and T’Challa turned to each other before turning back to the couple.

 

“You may now kiss the bri-” T’Challa began, but his words were cut off by Natalia leaping into Steve’s arms to kiss him soundly. The couple laughed through their kiss and their gathered friends and family applauded the newly married couple. The pianist started to play Mendelssohn’s ‘Wedding March’ and it had not been lost on Natalia that the piece of music had been written for ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ and she was currently dressed as if she were in the play. But that little detail was superfluous to the joy she was drowning in.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you for the first time: Mr and Mrs Steve and Natalia Rogers!” Phil announced over the cheering. The din increased as the couple broke their kiss and opened their eyes to wave at their guests. Natalia took her bouquet back from Victoria, kissing her and Clint in thanks before doing the same to Bucky, Sam, Phil and T’Challa. Steve hugged his thanks after her, before they made their way back up the aisle under a shower of rice and headed down another avenue of flowered arbours to the terrace that their reception was going to be held at. 

 

They were surprised to find another unexpected guest in their path: Vision.

 

“Am I late?” the red-skinned man asked with a tentative smile. He was dressed in a tux and carried an envelope in his hands.

 

“How are you here?” Steve asked carefully, keeping his eyes trained on the red, green and gold synthezoid.

 

“Tony hinted that I would not be missed if I went on a day trip,” Vision elucidated. “And, I missed you all.” His eyes travelled to where Wanda’s laughter could be heard ringing from in the distance. “I’ve known for some time now where you were. I found out quite a while ago. But it felt wrong to say anything about it, so I did not disclose the knowledge.”

 

“Geez, Vis,” Natalia teased. “Will you still be able to lift Mjölnir?”

 

“Of course,” Vision replied confidently, reflecting her smile. “May I stay and celebrate with you?”

 

“Sure, you can,” Steve said warmly. “You’re part of the family too.”

 

“This is from Tony and James Rhodes,” Vision informed them as he handed them the envelope he’d been carrying. “We congratulate you on your nuptials. Bringing a gift to you would not have been efficient. So we decided to open up a community centre in Brooklyn in your name. It proved a bit of a difficult task, but it was achievable. The centre provides ample support to all who need it. There are free classes and programs on everything from ballet to boxing and swimming. There are also tutors for school-goers, and social care programs for the elderly. We also welcome all manner of humans and try to educate the public on inclusiveness. The youngest children have been the first to openly make friends with Mutant children. Other older, less obviously Mutant children coming into their powers are also steadily making friends. We hope that it’s a continued success.”

 

“Vision,” Natalia said gently. She took his hand and gently squeezed it as she looked him in the eye sincerely. “That’s such a beautiful gift. Thank you. And tell Tony and Rhodey we’re so thankful when you see them again.”

 

“It was a pleasure, and I will,” Vision assured her as he squeezed her hand back.    

 

Just then a few of the wedding party stumbled into the path they were occupying. It was Wanda, Pietro, Bucky and Sam. Vision looked up warily to the group who had noticed his presence. His eyes settled last on the young woman of their group’s face and Vision held Wanda’s gaze. She beamed at him and walked up to him accompanied by her brother and Bucky, who still held her hand.

 

“Vis,” Wanda said, “Pietro and Vision you know each other.”

 

“Fleetingly,” Pietro remarked with a smirk. Vision nodded as he took Pietro’s proffered hand to shake.

 

“And this is James Barnes,” Wanda introduced as she watched Vision carefully. “Everyone calls him Bucky. Bucky this is Vision.”

 

“Good to meet you officially, Vision,” Bucky stated as he shook Vision’s hand.

 

“Likewise,” Vision replied.

 

“Are you both cool with each other?” Wanda asked curiously. “Because I’d rather I get to dance with all of you and not break up any silly scraps. Also, Natalia will end you if you ruin her wedding. Or Vicky will in her stead.”

 

“We’re cool,” Bucky replied measuredly with his characteristic charming smile. Vision stared back at him blankly.

 

“I’m on leave for the day,” Vision said. “Hence, I’m completely cool.”

 

“Ah, let’s go dance everybody!” Pietro urged. “I heard Fury promise Lila a dance and I want to see that.”

 

They all retired to the covered terrace where the reception was being held and proceeded to have an entirely lovely evening.

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About halfway through writing this, I had to slap myself once more because I took a tea break, and I was watching music videos, and I found the theme song for my next Romanogers fic. It actually made me cry. It said exactly what’s going on between Nat and Steve in my story! Or, at least, the beginning of my story. I had to restrain myself from moving on to writing that fic (because I promised myself I’d finish ‘Got This’ properly) and then obsessing etc about this song. I’ve only heard it once, but I’m already singing along. I think it’ll be a hit because it’s so good.
> 
> Anyway, I was good and returned to making myself cry with my own feels while writing this. I hope you guys drown in feels too. This time I didn’t make a playlist, because really that was a long process the last time. Also, Spotify won’t let me join from my country’s zone and I don’t feel like finding 8 tracks for 8tracks. But you can Google the music choices. Most you’ll know already, but if not they are easy to find on YouTube.


	20. Holiday (Part 4: Meatball Sauce)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else feel like Assembling to take down a villainous ex-pharmaceuticals boss for insulting our Chris? 
> 
> On a cuter note: I saw a 2 year old (not mine) flip her pink plastic table because she did not get to help me feed my dogs. Dead serious, that was her reaction- an actual table-flip! She usually helps me and it’s super-adorable, but that day she’d gone for a walk with her gran very late in the afternoon and wasn’t back in time to help. Her grandmother and mother chastised her but all I wanted to do was grin like a mad fangirl pointing out a moment and laugh that it had really happened. 
> 
> As for this chapter, Steve owes a debt and this is a reckoning.

 

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

 

Chapter Twenty

 

Holiday (Part 4: Meatball Sauce)

 

Thursday, 8 September 2016

“You know how much I love you, right?” Steve asked hesitantly.

 

“Just put it in already, Steven!” Natalia sighed in exasperation.

 

“You also know that this stick is going straight into a lye solution as soon as we’re done, right?” Steve clarified. “This is a onetime deal, doll.”

 

“I’ve got a hard copy,” Natalia reminded him sardonically as she held up a glossy A3 size booklet wrapped in semi-opaque plastic.

 

“What I mean is that if you lose that, then there’s no making a new one,” Steve said. “The originals have already been destroyed and any digital evidence lies solely on this USB stick.” He held up an innocuous-looking piece of grey hardware as he gazed at his wife sternly.

 

“Geez, you’d think we were about to take a look at your ‘oh-so-nefarious HYDRA plans’ that weirdos imagine you’re capable of and not your lovely little presentation on my Name Day present,” Natalia drawled as she rolled her eyes at him. “Hurry up- I want to see my dudoir calendar!”

 

Steve knew very well that Natalia wanted to see her calendar. That morning when he’d nuzzled Natalia’s neck to wake her so he could wish her she had turned around in his arms with her eyes gleaming and her mouth twisted into a grin of Cheshire cat proportions. She’d been awake for ages. She’d been waiting for him to wake up. She’d been waiting months for this.

 

Thankfully, Steve was allowed some reprieve to get his head into gear for the presentation. There was to be a presentation because it would not be enough to simply hand over the calendar. She’d been sending him prompts for it since the kissing incident. Natalia wanted to see the photos blown up to life-size at least. And for that to happen, there had to be no possibility for under-eighteens to burst in and see Uncle Steve in a strange new light he hoped they would never see him in. So they passed the day in the usual type of birthday celebrations with everyone else. After all the festivities, Steve was to show his wife what he was willing to do to gain her forgiveness.

 

But now his time had run out and he was inserting a USB stick into a data port so that the drawn out embarrassment that was Natalia’s choice of torture for him could be projected onto a movie screen in the private cinema in the guest quarters of the Wakandan Royal Palace. He was fortunate though, because his wife took pity on him and made the presentation a private affair. Their friends had seen him in his humiliation anyway as they had been the ones to help him create the dudoir calendar.

 

Steve took a seat next to his very pregnant wife, who snuggled against him and tucked into her Nutella-dipped and chilli-seasoned popcorn. He was about to start the slide-show, when she halted him and rummaged in her pockets and then his to fish out a box of Nerds candy. She opened it and poured the pink contents into her popcorn bucket and settled back. Steve clicked the remote to reveal the cover of the calendar.

 

“It looks promising,” Natalia smirked at him, pausing with a piece of popcorn before her lips before she popped it into her mouth. It was a shot of him leaning against a rare 1942 Harley Davidson XA 750, that was in the Wakandan Royal Family’s collection, parked on a dusty road at dusk. He was wearing tight distressed leather trousers, boots and no shirt. His bare skin was smeared in grease and his hair ruffed up and held back by goggles from the era. His arms were crossed and he gazed at the viewer smugly. The mischievous crooked grin that Natalia had found she was weak against a very long time ago played on his lips. His posture accentuated the bulges of his biceps, his pectorals and the chiselling of his abdominal muscles.

 

Steve smiled wryly at his wife. He did not mind this picture at all. This picture was chosen and it was a choice he had made. They needed something for the cover, and there was no way that Steve was going to keep with the tone of the dictated photographic contents of the calendar.

 

“Where’d you get the Harley?” Natalia asked as she munched on popcorn.

 

“T’Challa’s grandmother,” Steve answered. Noticing his wife’s eyebrow was raised in interest, he continued: “I’m serious. She liked to race, and coming from the Royal Guard she was raised to have access to daring activities.”

 

Natalia nodded and the corners of her lips twisted upwards. She gripped his forearm and squeezed tightly and instructed: “Now begin properly!”

 

Steve let out a long groaning exhale and clicked the remote to move onto the next picture in the set. January’s picture was of him nude on a bed of spaghetti, with his manly parts covered in a heap of bolognaise sauce and meatballs. He gazed up seductively at the camera like he was in frikkin’ ‘American Beauty’. A smear of bolognaise ran over his torso, and had obviously been created by his sauce-covered right palm. It was wrong on so many levels.

 

“How many packets of pasta did you have to make to create the background?” Natalia asked nonchalantly. Steve could see the glee in her eyes though.

 

“One hundred and eight,” Steve reported. “It’s all properly al dente too. And it was very slippery. Clint- he took all the shots- he brought up the lovely piece of trivia that is the fact that some Foley artists plunge implements into cooked pasta and sauce to create the wet sounds of sex.”

 

“I can imagine that,” Natalia commented as she cocked her head to one side contemplating the anecdote.

 

“We spent too long after that comparing different sounds created by food and rating them for potential effectiveness in the porn industry,” Steve told her monotonously. Natalia rolled her lips between her teeth to suppress a smile and she tried to look at her husband with an empathetic expression on her face. She failed dismally. The twitch of his nose, remembering the experience with disdain was hilarious.

 

“That sauce was really cold,” Steve griped. “Also, Sam walked in after I got clean of the sauce covering my groin. He was late and did not know we’d already finished and the meatballs we’d scraped off were put in a bowl that Bucky left on the counter. Sam ate one of the meatballs and promptly threw up when Pietro told him that it had probably been near _my_ balls.”

 

“Is that why Bucky keeps bringing up meatballs and snickering?” Natalia asked slyly. Steve nodded once in reply.  

 

“Yes he lists various kinds of meatballs in the same order and sees if Sam can make it to ‘Steve-balls’ without hitting him,” Steve sighed. “But Bucky can’t get there himself before he’s on the floor laughing.”

 

“Next one,” Natalia chimed as she turned her head back to the screen.

 

February was the familiar sight of Steve’s sculpted back. He was completely nude save for a few blobs of whipped cream and the actual word ‘whipped’ in that substance emblazoned diagonally across his back. Steve stood with his hands against a white wall as though he was about to be searched bodily. More cream hid the view one would have normally seen of his dangly bits from that angle. Someone thought it was a great touch to put a bright red maraschino cherry on top of a blob of cream that decorated the top of his left butt cheek. Steve glanced back at the viewer with a defiant gasp, his lips parted seductively. The real clincher though was the black riding crop, wielded by some out-of-shot person, caught striking his right butt cheek.

 

“Who’s whipping you?” Natalia asked although she was struggling with trying not to shake with the giggles.

 

“First it was Sam,” Steve informed her, “but he couldn’t stop laughing. So Bucky stepped in. It wasn’t much better.”

 

The next slide was for March, and it was a little tamer. It was a sepia photograph of Steve in a vest, undershorts and socks held up by men’s garters. He looked like he was in a stylish bohemian art studio with sketches at his feet, an easel at the back and art supplies on the desk beside him. Almost an everyday snap of what getting dressed in the forties might have been like, if one was an artist. Except this was styled like a French Postcard.

 

Steve looked up at the viewer through his lashes coyly. Sitting on an occasional chair, his body was twisted so that his arms were held straight and his hands came together to rest on his knees. One knee was bent over the arm of the chair while the other leg was stretched out showing off the length and shape of the limb. The positioning of his leg was so well mimicked, that one got a tiny glimpse of butt cheek as it peeked out from his wrinkled up undershorts. He had even pointed his toes.

 

“Bucky had to leave the room,” Steve said flatly. “He cried with laughter and asked me what Father Douglas would say if he saw me now.”

 

Natalia grinned toothily at her husband. She couldn’t form words. Steve could sense that she was about to crack up so he moved on to the next photo, though he wondered if it would really be any better.

 

April saw Steve posed as a lumberjack tearing a log of wood apart with his hands. Natalia could admit to herself that she never got tired of him pulling off that ridiculous trick, and that’s why she had requested it. But as usual, it was what Steve donned for the action shot that made her sides hurt from containing her laughter.

 

Steve wore a red plaid trapper’s hat lined with sable-brown faux-fur. He had thick work boots on his feet. Brown galluses held up cut-off shorts that were just too short and too tight. One was very aware of the size of Steve’s package in those shorts. He’d also grown out a beard for the picture.

 

“When did you grow a beard?” Natalia enquired curiously.

 

“A short while after we got here,” Steve confessed. “Bucky and I got into it about whether beards looked good or not, and that progressed into a competition about who looked better with a beard. So we grew them out for a little and then had the results judged by Lila and Cooper. I won. They said Bucky looked like a gnome.”

 

Natalia couldn’t help the sudden guffaw that burst forth from her upon hearing that. She covered her mouth and hung her head as she tried to breathe deeply and gain control over her mirth. Steve felt a little vindicated seeing how hilarious his wife thought Bucky being compared to garden pottery was.

 

He was pretty pleased with the reaction to May’s photograph too. Steve was covered in body paint so that his skin and hair looked like marble. He was posed as the ‘Statue of David’ by Michelangelo, though he was not completely nude. His modesty was covered by several large fig leaves. Being the little shit from Brooklyn that he was, he strutted around that shoot rather proud of the fact that he needed more than one leaf to create nature’s disposable loincloth.

 

“Bucky was worried we might have to repent for this one’s theme,” Steve revealed to her. “Also, it took forever to get my hair like that. We almost gave up and styled Pietro’s hair so we could try and figure out how to superimpose the image onto mine.”

 

“This one’s actually really hot,” Natalia said after gazing at the picture on screen for a long moment. She glanced over at him and leaned in to caress a hand appreciatively over the bulge in his jeans, squeezing as she did. She pressed her mouth to his in a heated kiss- it was literally fiery as she had put peri-peri chilli powder on the popcorn she had been eating. Steve moaned and gasped, breaking the kiss to chug a bit of the Nutella milkshake he had at his side.

 

“Hot,” he explained breathily.

 

“Sorry, babe,” Natalia giggled with a half-sorry expression on her face. It was not the first time this happened, nor was it the worst chilli pepper-related incident during the course of her pregnancy. Natalia craved African Devil chillies, and although they were not the hottest in the world, they packed a punch. There had been a particularly traumatising blowjob, which Natalia spent a lot of time genuinely making up for with attentive pampering and phenomenal, chilli pepper-free blowjobs. 

 

She took a sip of his milkshake and kissed him indulgently before she reached for the remote still in his hands and guided his thumb to click onto the next image.

 

June was a goof and Natalia chuckled out loud. The image was styled as a giant blue packet of Doritos and Steve was a spray-tanned Dorito chip. His torso certainly fit the proportions, and Natalia thanked the ghost of Dr Erskine for bringing that out of Steve’s DNA happily. What made the image over the top was the use of scale to make Steve look like a small chip and Sam, with his mouth open in the background, look like a giant picking Steve, the chip, out of the bag to munch on.

 

July was just plain raunchy. Steve stood in profile with no clothes on against a deep blue starry background. In his hands he held a large red firework rocket, poised over his crotch to suggest a raging boner. He had his head turned to the camera and winked to accompany his wicked little grin. A computer graphic of a fireworks explosion in the sky depicting the American flag filled up the space behind him.  

 

“You know, I think I still owe you birthday sex,” Natalia brought up, as she screwed up her features running through her memories. She'd been really tired that day.

 

“Well, you can just make next year really, really good,” Steve replied huskily. “Insanely good. Since, we’re probably not going to be having Christmas sex or New Year sex either with the Beans’ due date being around that time.”

 

“Mmm, true,” Natalia remarked before she kissed Steve softly on the lips. “I can’t believe we’re having twins. Except, y’know, I have the very obvious evidence that we are which I’m carrying around.”

 

Steve bent down to kiss her belly and then straightened up to kiss her on the lips again. “I love you, Nat.”

 

“Love you too,” Natalia mumbled back against his lips.

 

Steve flicked onto the next picture and tensed up suddenly. It had slipped his mind what was coming next and so he was not prepared for Natalia’s howl of laughter or her cackling as she slapped her thigh repeatedly and buckled over as much as her bellied body would allow.

 

It was the one that scared him most: the yellow one-sided banana hammock. And taking advantage of that moniker and the image it resembled, Steve had found himself on a leafy jungle set, posing so that he was lounging on a chaise-like rock with a large bunch of ripe yellow jumbo bananas laid out in front of him. His ‘banana’ almost blended in when you looked at the image very quickly- only it did not. He was in a yellow one-sided banana hammock for fuck’s sake! He did not know how he had managed to smile for that shot. It was a horridly cheesy smile, but it was there.

 

“I can’t!” Natalia gasped hoarsely as she wiped tears from her eyes. Steve made himself look at the embarrassing image and felt amusement begin to bubble up inside him. He did look ridiculous. And the image did deserve a laugh. It had been the first and worst to shoot. Logan had even been there for that shoot. The burly man had chuckled while he adjusted the light and Scott had stared wide-eyed as he helped. The latter looked as if he was going to explode from keeping his laughter in. T’Challa had left the room three times to laugh, and Steve wasn’t sure if snaps of the scene hadn’t been taken by Sam and Pietro. He had a really horrible feeling that Darcy had received the image.

 

He waited for Natalia to finish laughing, which was a quite some time, and then asked: “Are you done?”

 

“No, but the Beans are kicking me in empathy so I’ll cool down,” Natalia told him before she pecked a kiss on the tip of his nose.

 

September was another one of Nat’s fujoshi flavoured requests. Steve was in a yellow wrestler’s suit, with no sign of underwear underneath the spandex. He had the sleeves down and he was on his knees with his legs splayed. One hand tugged at his right sleeve while the opposite crossed over to caress his left nipple with his fingertips. Naturally, Nat had to request that he had the Hogwarts Hufflepuff House insignia emblazoned on the chest of the wrestling onesie.

 

“Why is there green edging to your suit, mister?” Natalia scolded. “I said Hufflepuff.”

 

“I’m beginning to wonder why you keep requesting that I dress up in themes suiting the characters that that twilight actor is famous for,” Steve frowned playfully at his wife.

 

“I can’t help it if I’d rather imagine you,” Natalia shrugged. “Now stop deflecting and tell me why you’re flouting uniform regulations and not putting your all into house spirit.”

 

“Natalia,” Steve said matter-of-factly, “as much as everyone wants to paint me as a Hufflepuff, you and I know that I’m Slytherin. I’m gonna sneak that in no matter what. What did I do to get into the military? I am pretty resourceful and cunning-”

 

“Yup, though often it comes across as comic in execution,” Natalia agreed as she kissed his jaw.

 

“- I also always get what I want in the end, even if it takes ages to pursue what I desire. Find and recover Bucky: check. Woo and marry Natalia: check,” Steve continued.

 

“Yes, I know. You do care for people and you do work hard, but you hate for people to see you working hard. You love pulling off spectacular moves effortlessly, but you don’t acknowledge that they are impressive. I know the thrill you get from that, because I get it too,” Natalia smirked at him. “You always like to train on your own if you can, or with only a few trusted people. And you work best with people you trust. Those you consider family are the most important to you, and you’d do anything to protect us. You’re a snake just like me, though maybe you were a hat-stall. But not for long.”

 

“If anything, Bucky’s the Hufflepuff,” Steve sniffed.

 

“I agree one hundred percent with you there,” Natalia stated. “I suppose he’s wearing the Hufflepuff colours too in the photo of the two of you wrestling that you shot for Victoria as a peace offering?”

 

“Already printed on canvas and wrapped up,” Steve said. “I can’t believe the things I do to help that man out. He still hasn’t told me what he did to piss Victoria off.”

 

“But he remembered, right?” Natalia clarified.

 

“Oh yeah, and he feels guilty,” Steve alleged. “But at least it’s the old ‘I gotta hide from this dame’ kinda guilt.”

 

“You should make him tell you,” Natalia smirked.

 

“I’ll get the story. I’m Slytherin remember?” Steve leered at her and waggled his eyebrows.

 

“That’s not cool,” Natalia stated shaking her head with an amused grimace. Steve melodramatically stuck his nose in the air and clicked the remote to progress to the next picture.

 

“Wahahaha!” Natalia laughed out loud when she saw the next picture. It was Steve, shirtless once again, wearing grey faux-fur hotpants with a bushy tail attached to them. He was also wearing furry boots on his feet and paws on his hands. Big pointy wolf ears stuck up from his head and he had a black canine nose painted onto the tip of his nose. Steve was on his hands and knees and had one hand raised as though he were raising a paw. His head was tilted up and he appeared to be howling at the glowing full moon in the background. His eyes had been highlighted to glow a luminescent blue in the photograph. Being for October, Natalia had chosen a werewolf theme for Halloween.     

 

Steve threw his arm around Natalia’s shoulders and tugged her into his embrace. He leaned down to whisper darkly, “We’ll see how much you’re laughing when I mount and fuck you hard doggy-style to make up for all this.”

 

Natalia glanced up at him, her mood having changed instantly to match his. Her skin was flushed pink and she leaned against his chest so that the fullness of her bust squished up between them. “I look forward to that, but you forget that this is my vengeance.”

 

Steve narrowed his eyes at her, and then flicked his tongue out to lick teasingly at the seam of her mouth. Natalia narrowed her eyes back at him in response and bit her bottom lip, letting her captured flesh escape slowly and plop back into her full pout. Steve readjusted his length in the confines of his jeans and focused back on the slide show.  

 

Natalia’s “woohoohoohoo” laugh fizzled out any amorous heat Steve had in his blood when they viewed the image for November. She actually snorted, spluttered and coughed she was laughing so hard. Steve was dressed as a caveman in a rather interesting leopard print loincloth. It was almost like the yellow banana hammock in that the pants part of it was one-sided. But it had a long strap that reached over his torso to sling over his shoulder. It looked like he had stretched one leg of a pair of high-cut brief underpants to squeeze his shoulder through so it could be his strap. And he was riding a lime-green inflatable sauropod dinosaur like he was a dino-cowboy against a rockery background.

 

“You know you’re my favourite fossil, right?” Natalia gasped as she kissed his chin and enjoyed how far from amused Steve was. He just clicked onto the next picture.

 

December was a masterpiece in covert planning.

 

“How did you get this together,” Natalia marvelled as she caught her breath.

 

It was a Christmas scene with none other than a disgruntled looking Nick Fury as Saint Nick wearing a red and white fluffy Santa hat and a red polo-neck, turning to the camera as if he were startled. He had a sack with him as he stood before a Christmas tree, and in that sack two yellow Labradors peeked out. Two Labradors which happened to be Steve and Thor with dog ear Alice bands on their heads, and furry onesie jammies.  

 

“Photoshop,” Steve explained succinctly. “We also owe Wanda for the danger she put herself in, taking that snap of Fury. She pretended to be playing with Lila when she took it, and we all know Nick just melts for the little kid. We photoshopped the hat on and changed the colour of his clothes and then inserted him into the scene. Thor is actually Mystique.”

 

“What did you bribe her with to get her to do this for you?” Natalia asked inquisitively.

 

“She got to see all the banana scene proof shots,” Steve answered.

 

“That would work,” Natalia snickered. “She’s going to use that against you for the rest of your life.”

 

“ _Everyone_ is,” Steve supposed. “I’ll melt into the floor if Tony ever sees any of these though. Or just turn into ash and blow away in the wind at the prospect of eternal teasing about this.”

 

“I’ll kiss it better,” Natalia giggled.

 

“That’s the only pro to that situation,” Steve murmured as he nuzzled her cheek and nipped at her ear lobe.

 

“Is that the last one?” Natalia asked.

 

“Nope,” Steve answered. “One final one for the back cover: Traditional sexy fireman.”

 

Steve showed her the image that was similar in tone to the front cover picture. Smoke and fire filled the background and Steve was dressed in yellow overalls and had a fireman’s helmet on his head. The beard was also present. His chest was bare and gleamed with moisture and soot. A little of his happy trail peeked out from the low-slung overalls, the royal blue galluses of which hung from his hips. A scarlet pair of lace panties was tucked into his waistband. He held a running fire hose in his grip, angled for a spectacular display as he doused a fire, and the muscles in his arms rippled with strain to control the force of the implement.

 

“Those panties are mine,” Natalia accused coquettishly. “I’d wondered where they’d gotten to. Have you been carrying those around with you since April?”

 

“Maybe,” Steve leered at her deviously. “Have I atoned enough for my blunder, doll?”

 

“I think so,” Natalia smiled impishly back at him. “I think you’ve more than atoned, Steve.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent an hour researching male lingerie and another couple of hours researching dudoirs. Although I think I have now become desensitised to the unusual (for me) image of men in lingerie, I’m still of the opinion that I prefer my men nude. Some things you have to wonder if they’re at all comfortable. I have a small obsession with women’s lingerie, so I know what is comfortable, and most of it these days is pretty comfortable, but I feel sorry for guys. 
> 
> But yeah, this calendar is a nod to the jokes and tropes we fans love putting Steve in.


	21. Yesterdays (I Know What You Did All Those Summers)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realised that I now have over 80K words written. 80K is generally accepted as the length of a decently long novel. What the snot!
> 
> Also, I believe every chapter since chapter eight was written under the influence of Nutella or Snickers or both. I so need to cut down on those two foodstuffs. 
> 
> This chapter was written because people asked.

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

Chapter Twenty One

 

Yesterdays (I Know What You Did All Those Summers)

_Victoria Winslow blamed her love of Russian accents for the mess she found herself in. It was summer in 1967 and she was stuck in a hotel room with no clothes and a rather rotund corpse in the bath tub during the middle of an arms sales convention. She’d planned on a discreet assassination, but things had gone awry and she could now begrudgingly admit that her reaction to events the previous night was not very well-thought out._

_Her arms dealer mark was ‘religious’ and had a habit of needing to be consoled and guided back into ‘the light’, so she took advantage of that disguising herself as a nun willing to scold him into promises of going to confession and turning to a more humble life. The centre of a gathering of gunrunners was not the ideal place for prayer, so she had garnered an invitation up to her trusting mark’s suite for the task. Unfortunately, she wasn’t the only assassin on the block gunning for him. Worse was the fact that she’d already met her opponent the night before when she scoped the place out before her mark arrived._

_She should have known he was bad news, but the single black gloved hand of his ensemble in summer was too ‘spy-novel scoundrel’ to be an actual indicator of his villainy. She’d sat at the bar of the grand hotel building in a black evening dress that displayed her ample bosom in a deep V-neck and with tasteful diamonds adorning her ears, neck and wrists. She’d meant to blend in as she analysed the working patterns of the staff and potential exits on that level of the building._

_Having decided to leave her still-quite-full drink in favour of sleep, Victoria had just shrugged her black fur stole back up her shoulders and was about to leave when a handsome dark-haired man walked up to the bar and aloofly ordered a glass of whisky. It really should have raised alarm bells that an obviously Russian man was at an arms convention when they were in the middle of the Cold War, but Victoria put that information aside to ponder on later as she enjoyed how English words rolled from his mouth in that slurring accent._

_Discreetly she motioned to the bartender and paid for the man’s drink before he did. It was the swinging sixties after all, and it was France. A girl could pick up a roguish stranger for shag if she wanted. The man attempted to pay the bartender for the drink as he was served, and was informed of his beautiful blonde benefactor down the bar. The Russian turned his head to look at her and Victoria felt the full effect of his wintery blue eyes. Despite his gaze and demeanour being so cool, she felt her blood warm. She gestured a small wave with just her fingertips, and held up her glass to toast him wearing a seductively crooked leer as she did._

_He gazed at her with an intensity that surprised her and slowly lifted his glass up to engage in the toast from the other end of the glossy bar. She noted the glove on his left hand and only calculated that he did not seem to be wearing a ring under the tight black material. From his looks she deduced that he must have been quite popular with the ladies. His hair was coiffed into a style suiting a fashionable gentleman, and his body was definitely that of a sporting man. He stood at ease, as though he were in command of his surroundings and everything happening around him was mere superfluous distraction. And his lips were so ruggedly kissable. He was exactly the sort Victoria liked to indulge with._

_Victoria turned in her seat to face the bar, and played at being coy. Men like that liked to hunt, and she’d allow him to before she let him know that she was the tiger by pouncing on him in the bedroom. She stole glances at him, while he stared at her the entire time. When she felt the tension had built just enough, she stood to leave and passed by him closely, letting her fur stole softly brush against his arm and gave him a meaningful glance before she exited with a saunter. But he didn’t follow, and Victoria disappointingly concluded that he must have been an involved and faithful man._

_That is until he burst into her mark’s room the next night and proceeded to swiftly slaughter the man who had slipped into the bathroom to dry his eyes after confessing to a list of deplorable habits he needed to cease by his own admission. The Russian was an adept assassin. He hadn’t even bothered with Victoria’s presence until their mark had gurgled his last gurgle drowning in his own blood. Only then did he look up at her and smirked at the sight he saw._

_Victoria had taken up a kneeling stance on the bed. She’d hitched up her habit and pulled out a Beretta from her lacy lilac garter. As she pointed her gun at him with a grave expression on her make-up free face, she was pretty sure she was flashing him her sky blue lace knickers._

_“Isn’t it rather inappropriate for a nun to accompany a man to his room alone?” the Russian asked in his accented English. “Or at least that’s what I remember. But then again, you’re no nun- unless they allow you nights off to drink, proposition strangers and assassinate arms dealers.”_

_“You just fucked up my gig,” Victoria hissed in Russian. She loved speaking the language, but rarely got to. Slipping past the iron curtain wasn’t an easy task and was only deemed necessary if it was a job that needed deep embedding._

_“Now that business is done,” the Russian replied in his native tongue, “I find myself available to take you up on your offer- if it still stands that is.”_

_“There’s a dead fat man in the bathtub and you’re propositioning me?” Victoria sneered flatly._

_The Russian’s answer was to close the bathroom door behind him. Remarkably he hadn’t gotten any blood on him despite the gruesome nature of his killing method. Victoria found out what was hiding under that black glove on his left hand: a fully dexterous metal hand that was a part of a whole metal arm. It really was like some silly spy-novel. The Russian had used the appendage to crush and beat his target while his other hand slashed at the man’s flesh spectacularly. He had dodged the blood splatter very efficiently. In that moment, Victoria really hated that proficiency in one’s occupation turned her on. She’d have to report that the kill had gone to someone else and there’d be a load of paperwork to fill out about that._

_As the Russian approached the bed, she figured she might as well make all the trouble she was going to endure worth it. Judging from the incendiary kiss he gave her, it would definitely be._

_It was. Until she woke up after being satiated many times the night before to find the Russian slipping out via the window using her billowy nun’s habit as a cloak. He was carrying the mark’s suitcase, which must have been part of his mission directive to recover, under his arm as he absconded into the early morning light. Unluckily, it wasn’t that early because she could hear the bustling sounds of hotel guests getting ready to go down to have breakfast and join the first activities scheduled for that day._

_She could have tried nipping out to get some clothes from a neighbouring suite, but then she might have walked into a still-occupied room and the witness would remember her. Calling MI6 would only get her in trouble. Calling the front desk was completely out of the question. And there was the matter of the very large dead body in the tub. She’d need to get a hold of some lye so she could dissolve the corpse and she’d need to get to housekeeping for that. It would take ages for that man’s body to dissolve. He was so large that she was sure he’d take six hours instead of the usual three. An actual member of the cleaning staff was sure to knock on the door before then._

_This was so much less efficient than the quiet poison to induce a heart attack that she had planned to give the arms dealer. Victoria almost considered quickly draping herself in a toga dress made from the sheets, but then she heard the light voice of a maid delivering room service next door and so she proceeded to knock the woman out surreptitiously as she was leaving._

_Victoria took her clothes and set the young woman on the bed. She hurriedly made her way to housekeeping to gather cleaning supplies, snatched some women’s daytime clothes from the laundry and then returned. She started on her corpse disposal and changed into her new garb. Then she redressed the maid she had rendered unconscious and set up a scene so that it would appear that she had fainted in a corner two floors down. Victoria then went back to her dead mark’s suite to brood over the nerve of that handsome Russian._

_He hadn’t even given her his name! A fake one would have been satisfactory, but the man had the gall to kill her mark, shag her senseless, steal her clothes, and then leave her to clean up his mess- all without introducing himself._

_It did not help that her next sighting of him that summer, was while he was kissing the décolleté of some other blonde. She’d seethed silently behind a great big potted palm tree plant on her way back from blowing a fatally poisonous dust from her blush compact into the face of the female mastermind of a plutonium smuggling ring in the powder room of a swanky dinner club in Naples. Victoria panicked for a second when she heard the sirens of the local police and hastened out of the club, but some excitable chap running down the road had yelled about a don being found hung by his own intestines on a lamppost down the road deep in mafia territory. Victoria had an inkling about who might have committed that feat._

_She saw him with three other blondes, a brunette and a very beautiful Romani girl that summer, but it was only the following summer that she glimpsed the Russian with a raven-haired, green-eyed woman that he actually seemed to defer to whole-heartedly. Victoria felt most jealous of this woman. But that was all forgotten in their next encounter when the Russian beheaded her Persian oligarch mark after she spent three months embedded trying to glean his secrets._

_He killed everyone there except Victoria, and then stood up straight to smirk at her and offered his hand to help her over the sea of red that encroached upon her small patch of dry floor. Victoria was not impressed. She was going to actually have to put the cad and his actions in her report. She was also going to lose a very good cover that she had going for the region due to her close connection to the events of that night. People had known she was going to be there. She was the only survivor. She did shag the Russian though- but only because he was very good at it and she needed to work out some of her frustration with him._

_In their next encounter, the Russian burned a mad scientist to a crisp in Denmark. The man had been building a death-ray and although Victoria did not think it was possible for something like that to actually work, the world did not need some chap running around who thought he was capable of creating one._

_The Russian’s given reason for the hit when she casually asked was “His idea was stupid.”_

_After that, Victoria found herself embarrassingly imprisoned by another mad scientist, this time in Spain. This one wanted to attack the Earth’s core from his base in a castle ruin. The Russian showed up, but this time he was not alone. The raven-haired woman from before was with him. They spoke to each other in choppy brusque Russian sentences, but Victoria sensed that there was something about their partnership that showed there was some care there. The young blonde Briton had almost gotten free when she found herself staring down the barrel of a Russian-made pistol._

_“Not that one, Widow,” the Russian instructed in their language as he snapped the neck of a squirming henchman. Victoria had heard of the Russian Black Widow, but she had never expected the woman to be so young. She seemed to be the same age as her- that or the Soviets had some incredible anti-aging crèmes._

_The Black Widow held her gaze and raised an eyebrow curiously. She ran her eyes over Victoria and she smirked. If both her hands and feet were free, Victoria would have launched herself at the woman for looking at her so condescendingly, but alas, bullets tend to trump everything when you’re chained up._

_“Another plaything, Soldier?” the Black Widow tested. She barely disguised her mocking glee._

_“She’s worth her salt, and we have no qualms other than I keep stealing her kills,” the Russian ‘Soldier’ said bluntly, continuing to converse in Russian. “And as I told you, it’s important to have connections outside our own network. You never know what the next season will bring.”_

_“Very well,” the Black Widow said, lowering her weapon. Victoria almost took her chance, but the Widow pistol-whipped her into unconsciousness. The scar took annoyingly long to fade, and Victoria decided she wanted nothing more to do with Russians, even if they were as charming as that Ivan Simanov who attempted to woo her whenever they encountered each other._

_But that year was busy one, and she encountered the Russian ‘Soldier’ again. She was completely shocked to run into him on her home turf of England and so put her foot down before she had to endure the chaos he was about to wreak. And it was understandable that she did- she was after all acting as decoy for the Princess Margaret and accompanying her Monarch that evening so any kind of incident would have repercussions that would have far-reaching consequences._

_“What the bloody hell are you doing here?” Victoria cried as soon as she had dragged the Russian ‘Soldier’ into a small ante-room adjoining a drawing room in the stately home they were visiting. He had been disguised as a footman and his regular single black glove had been replaced with a pair of white ones covering both hands. Victoria had donned a dark wig, been aged a few years with clever make-up and had been dressed in a gown, gloves and jewels the Princess would have worn. “How did you get in?! Who the fuck are you looking for! I swear-”_

_“Victoria,” the Russian ‘Soldier’ interrupted curtly. He had obviously recognised that it was her he was speaking to and not a princess._

_“How do you know my name?” Victoria growled. She did not like that he knew her real name when she did not even have a fake name for him. She couldn’t very well call him ‘Soldier’ too. That sounded melodramatic, and she liked to use a person’s full name- it reminded her that they were fellow human beings. The Russian ‘Soldier’ glared at her coldly and she could tell that he was about to shove past her and carry out whatever dastardly plan he was obliged to with all his usual flare._

_She was not having it. So she stomped on his toe, whipping out an Uzi from under her powder blue full-length evening dress as she did, and trained it on him as he buckled onto his knee in pain._

_“Now listen here you thoroughly frustrating man,” Victoria commanded in Russian to drive home her point. “I know you’re longing to take that blood rusted metal arm of yours and barge into some place in this house like it’s the seventeen hundreds and your clan is determined to have the country by daybreak, but cool that furnace before you go and create a scene in front of nine heads of state! I don’t care if you think that capitalism is a tumour upon the world. If western ideas are a tumour, then remember that those of us who subscribe to those ideas are not meek and benign! If you so much as break a tea cup in this house, then I will ensure that your lovely Black Widow will never get to see your homecoming, because there will be none. Do you understand? One misstep and I will come at you with everything like a freight car!”_

_Victoria huffed as she glared at the man who had become completely still. His eyes were icier than she’d ever seen them. Belatedly, she realised that she’d witnessed this man do some despicable things- even by her standards. But she could not back down now. And she was sure as hell not about to let anything happen to her Queen on her watch._

_Willing her spine into ramrod strength, Victoria glared at him and instructed: “You will not be killing anyone at this event. You most certainly will not be killing any of the British Royal Family or any of our government officials and politicians. I don’t care about what you do to anyone else later, but you won’t be assassinating anyone this evening. Go bloody well wait somewhere else so I don’t have to fill in a report trying to explain you for once. Everyone thinks I’m making things up whenever I tell them a nameless Russian with a metal arm keeps thwarting me! Go! Bloomin’ tosser.”_

_The Russian Soldier left. He actually, quietly left. Three days later, a Greek diplomat who had been at the event and was on the Brits’ radar for suspected espionage for the Soviets was found dead being nibbled on by the carnivorous types of ducks in his embassy-acquired country home’s waterfowl enclosure. In the investigation that ensued, it was intimated that the man might have double-crossed the Soviets._

_In August of that year, Victoria found herself poised to target a Peruvian war lord planning a coup with his cronies while he enjoyed sipping champagne in Switzerland. The Russian Soldier made his presence known. He appeared to be targeting someone else, from what Victoria could deduce watching through her sniper’s scope. She decided to kill two birds with one stone and shot the dictator-in-waiting square in the middle of his forehead when he attempted to raise a dagger to stab the Russian in the back. Noticing the sudden death of the man in his periphery, the dark-haired Russian swivelled around and locked eyes with Victoria immediately. She was hidden in brush and a thousand yards away, but she knew he was looking directly at her. His pause was only a moment long before he continued on his mission to create havoc and bloodshed._

_Incidentally another man stepped in and Peru still went through a coup later that year._

_She did not see the Russian again until the very last day of summer in the southern hemisphere, in Australia: It was the 28 th of February 1969. Old abandoned mines were horrible places to have shoot-outs, but she found herself in the crossfire of one as local criminals attempted to take on her favourite Russian duo who had a bone to pick with them. All she had wanted to do was capture the gang’s boss so she could find out who was buying the missile technology they had stumbled upon in their pursuits and were attempting to auction off. _

_But crumbling rock had her rolling behind the cover of a boulder right next to the Black Widow and the Russian Soldier, the latter of whom was clutching a bloodied rag to his left oblique while he shot at the numerous gang members that seemed to have bunny-like numbers in their old mineshaft warren of a base. His mouth was covered in a mask and his eye area shrouded in black war paint, but Victoria would have recognised his eyes and build anywhere._

_“Oh for heaven’s sake,” Victoria grumbled as she saw him fighting on despite the injury that he must have gotten quite some time before in the course of the skirmish. “You, Black Widow, keep shooting those gits but try to spare their leader so I can question him before you off him. Mr ‘Soldier’, I’m going to pull out that bullet and sew you up quickly.”_

_The Russians glared at her contemptuously for a second before going back to ending the lives of their opponents._

_“I am actually a qualified general surgeon,” Victoria told them exasperatedly._

_“You can’t be more than twenty three,” the Russian Soldier proclaimed as he continued to wince, bleed out and shoot at the enemy. He switched from English to Russian, “Natalia, get me a bazooka. We can end this quickly.”_

_Victoria widened her eyes incrementally at the revelation of the Black Widow’s beautiful name, which matched her beautiful everything else. Victoria felt a strange urge to unzip her black catsuit to show as much cleavage as the Black Widow did with hers, but she ignored it. Natalia glared at the Russian Soldier and replied through clenched teeth: “If I were to retrieve that fallen bazooka twenty eight feet behind us and allowed you to set it off in here we’d be crushed underground by the weight of this whole mountain, you simpleton!”_

_“I don’t hear any better ideas from you,” the Russian Soldier retorted._

_“Well, you both are ignoring the fact that if I get this big idiot sorted- and I can in less than a minute- we can execute a plan which has us all alive and all of them dead,” Victoria pointed out acerbically joining in on their Russian prattle. “I’m a crack shot, and I do owe you a little bit for not killing me that other time or creating a scene the last time we met.”_

_“Fine!” the Black Widow growled and forced the dark-haired Russian Soldier to sit down while she defended their post. Victoria came through on her promise, and together they took out the entire gang, stopping to let Victoria interrogate their leader before the Russian Soldier ended him too._

_“You are quite skilled,” the Black Widow commented in English with a Received Pronunciation accent and an amused grin as they stood in the mouth of the cave after dawn had broken. “We’d kidnap you and convert you to our side if it weren’t so troublesome to lug you back to Russia.”_

_“The compliment is noted, but the sentiment will never come true,” Victoria responded haughtily. She grinned mischievously at them before she continued. “Now can we at least try to establish some sort of courtesy when we find that we’re in line for the same job? Please do try to make your kills discreet.”_

_The patched up Russian Soldier frowned at her, but did not say anything. He had taken off his mask and the war paint had smeared off. Victoria could see he had a whole host of things to say- it showed in his eyes- but he chose to keep quiet. She got a response from the Black Widow though._

_“They send him in when they want it to be messy,” Natalia laughed mirthlessly. “If you see James, then know whatever happens next will not be soft and quiet.”_

_The Russian Soldier glared at the Black Widow as she grinned at the surprised Victoria. The raven-haired woman leaned in, and in the bright glare of the lamp their dead foes had hung overhead Victoria saw the tiniest traces of dark red roots in her hair._

_“We were all made for this, but we weren’t born to this,” Natalia whispered directly into Victoria’s face. “Learn to adjust, because he can’t help what he is and we have no time to pander to your sensitivities.”_

_The Black Widow backed away and sashayed off to the motorbike she and the Russian Soldier were using to leave. The ‘Soldier’- James- stood up slowly, his gaze caught up in hers. Victoria had begun to explore the chemistry she had with Ivan, but there was something about the man in front of her that felt like it would be a lifelong connection. Perhaps it was just his manner, but she thought that she would never forget him even though it seemed like he was about to say a particularly final goodbye. He wouldn’t kill her, but he’d perhaps not speak to her. They’d interacted too much, and she’d actually prevented him from bleeding out. He was standing strong and if it weren’t for the ripped cloth bound across his waist as a bandage, one would not have known he’d been injured. Between them at least,_ that _was too intimate._

_He wouldn’t speak to her again._

_“James,” Victoria breathed quietly. She wanted to remark how unusual it was for that to be his name, to babble on about something to this man who was a sometimes a lover and most times a foe. When he stepped forward she thought he was going to kiss her, and her eyes widened wondering if she should expect to be shot in the leg by the Black Widow. But there was no kiss, just a yellow dandelion flower pushed into her hand from his. Victoria wondered dazedly where he had gotten it out there in the semi-arid scrub as she looked down at the little flower that must have just opened to the dawn’s light a few minutes prior and was now resting in her grasp._

_She looked back up into his pale blue eyes, and tried to read their expression. She’d have loved to have asked him a million different questions right then, asked if perhaps he’d like to be a friend because sometimes he really looked like he needed one when he wasn’t knee-deep in carnage. But Victoria knew he wouldn’t answer._

_James backed away and turned to join the Black Widow. The simple gesture spoke volumes about his trust in both women. The Black Widow would have his back and Victoria would not shoot him in it._

_The following northern hemisphere summer, when she related to Ivan why she was late for their secret dinner date in Venice and explained that she’d been held up because her mark had been stolen dramatically by a slugger from a Russian sniper with a metal arm, her paramour blanched visibly. He told her to be wary of the Winter Soldier, that he had no concern for anything other than his mission. Ivan warned her that he was a programmed asset and there was nothing that he would not bulldoze through to complete his mission. So Victoria did not tell Ivan about the dandelion flower she found on her bed in the hotel before she met up with him._

_Victoria never told anyone but Natalia of the six other occasions that she found dandelion flowers after various kills were stolen from her from 1969 to 2010 when she was made to officially retire. She did not get too upset when she found herself with extra paperwork due to an assassination suddenly made into a spectacle at the hands of the James she was no longer sure was Russian. When she was asked what happened, she simply shrugged nonchalantly and offered the simple explanation: “The Winter Soldier.”_

_Well, except for that one time she ended up in a formerly snow-white mink drenched in blood outside a Viennese Ball. Then she cursed the Winter Soldier quite ruefully._

_No one knew that she’d cried for two people when a distressed Ivan contacted her to help out Natalia who had been shot by the Winter Soldier. Victoria was the only dependable person nearby and Ivan had always kept an eye on her. She knew that he knew where she was and she was the only person who could save Natalia. As she watched over her recovering long-time friend, Victoria noted that it was the first time in years that she’d wept._

 

So Victoria smiled warmly to herself when she received the large rectangle wrapped in dandelion flower print paper that had arrived shortly after Natalia’s Name Day in the month of September 2016. She’d requested the embarrassing photographic contents as a light punishment for James, because she was still hurt that he could do that to Natalia even though she knew he had no choice if he was programmed to carry out a directive. Natalia had forgiven him for it, and in truth Victoria had too. She understood. But the incident had made her wonder if their odd friendship had faded from his mind. Thinking that it had hurt. No one wanted to be forgotten, especially in this business where human lives were easily expendable.

 

The dandelions were a sign that James remembered.

  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know if you noticed that Victoria said the trigger words for the Winter Soldier’s programming when she ranted at him. 
> 
> For most of this chapter I had the ‘Austin Powers’ music playing in my head. Yeah…


	22. Sundae Layers (Part 4: Occupational Hazards of the Intangible Kind)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating y’all. I had to take some time out because I was grumpy and sick. Being sick annoys me, and this year I’ve gotten sick too often. Well, now I’m drinking Kale smoothies… yeah. Need to be getting my greens in.
> 
> I wish I had the guts to find out if putting Nutella in one would make a difference. I mean, it’s not bad, just not awesome. But I haven’t put any Nutella in a Kale smoothie, because I already put peanut butter in mine, and I’m not willing to waste Nutella. I think Steve would take the risk though. 
> 
> This chapter gets serious about moral issues, though nothing discussed is described graphically.

 

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Twenty Two

 

Sundae Layers (Part 4: Occupational Hazards of the Intangible Kind)

 

Sunday, 18 September 2016

Natalia could not fathom why when left to their own devices, the male members of the original Avengers team tended to do overly melodramatic things and not tell anyone what they were about to do. Or at least tell her what they were about to do. If she had some warning, she could have been prepared. They all could have been prepared.

 

It wasn’t that they were not ready for potential attack; they’d worked on many contingencies for what could befall them. But because they knew each other so well, if one member did something the others could understand their reasoning for acting in that way so clearly. That’s what hurt. And this time the knife that flayed under the skin also struck at their spirits.

 

Even if he intended good things, what the hell else could Tony have expected from half a team who had to live and deal with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

 

Steve had been helping Natalia do up the back of her dress as they got ready for dinner that evening. T’Challa had invited them all to an intimate gathering to celebrate the fact that Ororo was three months along and he would be joining Clint and Steve in the ‘Dad Gang’. The Royal Family was still in mourning for T’Challa’s father, so it would not have been seemly to make a show of the news. But the Royal Couple wanted to share the joy they had not expected with the people who had become so close in the past few months.

 

Steve was dressed in a crisp shirt, slacks, a light blazer and a tie in cool blue shades. Natalia had chosen a diaphanous layered maxi-dress in a tone that suited her colouring and matched Steve’s tie.

 

Natalia had just slipped her earrings on while Steve struggled a bit with the finicky knots that criss-crossed the back of her turquoise garment when an urgent knock sounded at their suite door. A palace aide had come with a request that they join King T’Challa and the rest of their group in the palace’s underground strategic conference room as soon as possible.

 

Steve and Natalia spent almost every day in that area of the palace. It was the working quarters of the Wakandan Intelligence Office within the palace. It was built in the style of many a war room with screens and computer stations surrounding a large round table and with a giant screen on the far end of the room. It was up to date with the latest technology, which T’Challa selected himself and the team felt quite at home working there. They had offered their services to T’Challa and he’d taken them up on their offer. They could not go out into the world, but they had valuable knowledge that could protect Wakandan citizens as well as the rest of the inhabitants of Earth. Bucky was particularly useful. He knew the underbelly of the world better than Natalia did, and that was saying something.

 

Natalia and Steve made their way to the strategic conference room and were met with the equally worried faces of their smartly attired companions: T’Challa, Ororo, Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Pietro, Clint and Laura. The couple recognised the forced blank expressions that hid the tension their friends were suppressing. Only Mystique in her blue-skinned form lounged nonchalantly in a corner. It was a big deal that T’Challa and Ororo trusted her to move freely in the palace. The Royal Guard still watched Mystique very closely though.

 

Jean Grey had returned to Professor Xavier’s school and was currently in that part of the world, but she visited Wakanda every two weeks to check in with Wanda. Victoria had left on a job, but would be coming back in three days. Along with the night time staff that manned the office, their assembled party lacked the jovial air that had possessed them that afternoon as they congratulated the King and Queen on their announcement. Apprehension saturated the environment. Thankfully T’Challa addressed their concerns immediately.

 

“I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’ve gathered you here,” T’Challa began. He inhaled deeply before he continued. “We’ve received word that Tony Stark is about to give a press conference from New York in a few minutes and it regards the Avengers.”

 

Natalia and Steve glanced at each other, keeping their expressions impassive. The touch shared between their entwined fingers communicated their surprise and worry over the news to each other secretly.

 

“I take it this isn’t something he informed anyone on,” Clint announced, calling the situation for what it was. Natalia could already feel a tension headache coming on so she regulated her breathing and moved to take a seat at the round table. Steve processed what she was about to do and speedily drew out his wife’s chair for her. She gently squeezed his forearm in thanks as she sat, before clasping her hands together and placing them on the table as she leaned forward.

 

“There’s not much we can do until we hear what he has to say,” Steve said calmly as he took his seat beside Natalia. T’Challa acknowledged that with a shrug of his eyebrows and motioned for his staff to activate the large central screen so they could watch the news coverage of the event.

 

Wanda soon flopped into a chair on the other side of Steve while Pietro paced. Bucky stood with his arms folded over his chest staring at the large main screen which was showing an empty podium, while the news anchors speculated about what Tony was about to speak on. Sam sat on the other side of Natalia and flexed and curled his hand distractedly. Ororo made a tiny tornado on the table top, which dissipated as soon as her husband came to stand at her back to comfortingly massage her shoulders. Mystique simply watched them all.   

 

“We can hack the green room footage,” Laura offered as she sat in front of a computer station with Clint hovering behind her. She was a little stunned at the collective hopeful regard she received from those gathered.

 

“This would be a useful step,” T’Challa supposed. “Having some idea of his behaviour beforehand might give us a lens from which to regard the information he’ll give out. Please go ahead.”

 

Thirty seconds later and they were watching silent footage of Tony standing very still and staring blankly at a wall. They could see his hands were stiff at his sides. He wasn’t alone: Rhodey was there, and so was Vision. They’d only been watching them for fifteen seconds when Vision’s stare focused on the camera trained on them. The movement of his mouth and Tony and Rhodey’s attention turning to the red-skinned man and then the camera revealed that he had told them of his suspicions. Tony waved and flashed them a grin, while Rhodey rolled his eyes. The latter was doing quite well with his mobility machinery and a gentle smile as he got up showed that he wanted them to know that.

 

“It seems whatever stunt Tony’s planned has Rhodey’s approval,” Sam commented uncomfortably.

 

“And Vis’,” Wanda added. Natalia shared another concerned glance with Steve. That was quickly followed with a pointed glare from Mystique. Pietro noticed and narrowed his eyes at Natalia questioningly. Natalia shook her head discreetly. Pietro broke his gaze and returned to pacing, though his mood had soured a bit and he kept glancing at his sister from the corner of his eye.

 

On screen, Rhodey handed Tony a packet of snacks and went to glance out of the room they were in. A young dreadlocked woman, who was obviously part of the stage crew, came in and spoke to them before Tony shoved a handful of peanuts in his mouth, chewed them very fast and hopped about shaking himself before he swaggered out.

 

The Wakandan Techs quickly pulled up the live conference footage as Tony walked in. He placed his hands on either side of the podium and stared at the flat surface while the crowd quietened down. Abruptly he lifted his head and with a clear regard free of artifice, he commenced his speech.  

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” Tony started off, “let’s not beat about the bush. I called this press conference today because I have something to get off my chest. I know that very many of you out there have something to get off your chests about me, about the Avengers.

 

“I started my journey as Iron Man off trying to make amends for the damage I caused by involving myself in weapons production. It came to my attention, some time ago that what I was doing was not making enough of an impact- that my actions still angered people. I tried to gain forgiveness, without even asking those affected about what they wanted. I thought that because I had suffered as they had and that because I survived imprisonment at the hands of terrorists and I lived through the attacks and attempted invasions on our planet that I could relate to all of you out there.

 

“The truth is that I can’t. I don’t know you. We don’t know each other. I wasn’t even elected to this position. Still, you have something to say to me and I haven’t stopped to listen to you properly. I met a woman in April, who had lost her son in the Sokovian tragedy. She could have killed me. I expected her to. But she didn’t. She merely showed me a picture of the son she lost. An upstanding, ordinary woman had that much pain and rage in her that no one was listening to; least of all the people she associated with what had brought her the pain she has to live with every day of her life. Her son is gone and he’s never coming back. So many sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, wives, husbands, and friends are not coming back.

 

“It was never my intention to hurt anyone. All I wanted was to protect people. But I’ve come to the conclusion that that is not enough. My actions to try to fulfil my aim are not enough. I’ve done immeasurable damage and yet here I still am free to make more mistakes.

 

“This makes me question the society that we are living in as a whole. I’m sure that many of you have questioned it in the same line that I did. How is it that we can talk about protecting the people of the world, and yet put into action laws that isolate and discriminate against people simply for being who they were born to be? Every day we target people because of their capabilities- if they’re Superhuman or Mutant- we target people because of how they look, their skin colour, how they interact with the world, who they fall in love with, who they as consenting adults desire. We have no right to do that. No one in the world has the right to do that.

 

“Many have witnessed that we are no longer just humans dealing with our differences between ourselves on our own planet. The affairs of other worlds are connected to us, they affect us too. We can’t escape it because it would be morally wrong to ignore the plight of your neighbours when you could do something to help them. We’re growing to be strong enough to speak and stand up among the other peoples of this Universe. There are those from different planets and dimensions who are our foes, and those who are our allies. We have to learn how to function so that we can interact with them while carrying humanity’s interests in our hearts. So we’ve got to start listening to each other and respecting each other. We need to accept each other. We’re no longer just citizens of countries in the world, but citizens of a planet in this Universe.

 

“So how can we go out there and claim to protect and liberate people from oppression, from tyranny, from pain when our governments still have dark prisons where torture is practiced? How can we defeat the enemy when we keep creating the enemy?  

 

“How can I walk free and hunt down the prisoner of war, James Barnes, who was tortured, experimented on and programmed to become the Winter Soldier when I, as a civilian, have caused just as much pain. He has caused me personal pain and he owns that. I’ve destroyed homes, workplaces and through those actions lives have been lost. I’m a civilian. I may have received government approval to do what I do, but essentially I’m still a civilian. I’m not trained as a police officer or as military personnel.

 

“I’m not trained like my friends Steven Rogers, Natalia Romanova-Rogers, Samuel Wilson, Clinton Barton and James Rhodes are. I want to protect Earth’s citizens, but I’m at fault for not seeing that I received the training to handle that. I was too arrogant to think that I needed to learn that my actions affect the world greatly.

 

“I think that’s why I’ve created the mess that I have. It’s a lesson that keeps coming back to bite me in the rear. I thought I understood what I was meant to learn, but obviously since the lesson was repeated I did not.

 

“Yes, the law and your opinions were there to check me _if_ I paid them heed. But I was largely free to do as I pleased. When I get an idea, I have to see it to fruition. But I acknowledge that I don’t visualise what the consequences of what I create will be. I see only the good, not the whole scope. I never learned to think that way. It took me a long time to realise that that was what caused the mayhem that followed me.

 

“I’m all for progress- it’s in my blood. It’s in all of our blood because it’s an essential part of being human. We create new things every day and it’s beautiful. But I feel I needed to learn responsibility. I have to take responsibility for my actions. I take responsibility for my part in events even if they turned out far from what I initially wished for, or even if what resulted was an accident. Humanity as whole needs to become consciously active in shaping the world we live in. We do have a say in the way our world is governed. We do have a say in the laws that are passed. We have a responsibility to shape our thoughts to better aims. I choose to recognise the responsibility I have towards all of you whom I swore to protect to the best of my ability. Because it shouldn’t be a choice. I should have done right by you all a long time ago.

 

“Consequently, I take responsibility for what can only be described as the manslaughter on a grand scale that my actions, whether they were direct or indirect, have resulted in. I will be turning myself in to the ICC and shall respect and accept their judgement acting on the behalf of the citizens of the world.”

 

The audience in the press room broke into a clamour, but Tony simply nodded and left the stage, presumably to hand himself in. The silence in the underground conference room of the Wakandan Royal Palace was fraught with shock.

 

Instinctively, Natalia reached out for Steve’s hand and grasped it tightly. She knew without looking at her husband that Steve would be crumbling inside although he’d appear cool and collected on the outside. She was a little surprised at the concerned look he reflected back at her when she finally wrenched her eyes away from the news coverage to look at him.

 

Everyone in that room who had seen action hated that they’d shed other people’s blood. They hated the stains it left on their psyches, and each dealt with it in their own individual way. Even Mystique had her own pool of solemnity to brood over.

 

“I understand what he’s saying,” Sam said quietly as he broke the silence. “But it isn’t that he did not have the training. I don’t think we can begin to try to explain why the things that happen do. It’s all interconnected.”

 

“But he’s right that we have to take responsibility,” Bucky deliberated. “The fact that it’s interconnected means that it’s the responsibility of each individual to monitor their actions and think of the consequences they’ll bring about.”

 

“We can’t continue to live unconsciously,” Ororo stated wisely.

 

“What do we do?” Wanda wondered out loud.

 

“We support him,” Steve said determinedly.

 

“We turn ourselves in?” Wanda questioned.

 

“I don’t think that’s a path we can afford to take,” Steve told her honestly.

 

“Steve’s right,” Natalia declared. “We do still have to watch out for what’s coming. I don’t think Tony meant this as a suggestion on what we should do collectively. This is something he had to do on his own. It’s his path.”

 

“It’s what people need to see,” Clint sighed. “It’s heartfelt and honest. But it’s his specific chosen path.”

 

“But what about this danger that Mystique warns us about? This thing we’ve been preparing for yet have no idea what it is?” Pietro burst out in frustration. Wanda got up to hug her frustrated brother and he hesitantly accepted her comfort.

 

Despite being so young and eager to live fast, Pietro had a deeply entrenched sense of honour. He refused to meet with Magneto, his and Wanda’s father, unless it was absolutely necessary because of it. He still battled with Tony’s change of heart regarding the purpose of Stark Industries. Perhaps it was because he hadn’t confronted Tony properly about it yet, or perhaps it was the way that he found his younger twin sister bound in the Raft prison when they broke them out after the events that tore the Avengers team apart- the events where Tony remained free on the opposing side in front of the world. He had a lot of rage. He would only talk about it with Sam now that Jean Grey and Logan had returned to the States.

 

“Tony has money,” Natalia replied flatly. “If they do bring him to trial, then it will be a lengthy one. If they decide to lynch him then I’ll bust him out myself if I have to. His heart’s always in the right place.”

 

“Um, Natshechka, I’ll do the liberating prisoners for you, okay,” Steve interjected with a small frown of concern as he eyed her large rounded belly.

 

“Are you implying that my pregnancy has made me redundant on this team?” Natalia tested acerbically.

 

“Not at all, babe,” Steve answered with the most innocent expression he could muster up.  Natalia narrowed her eyes at him before she spoke again.

 

“Because obviously I’ll be director of operations commanding the whole thing,” she elucidated with a flick of her hair over her shoulder. Mystique laughed throatily at the quip. Sam and Bucky smirked at Steve, while T’Challa and Clint silently commiserated with their comrade.

 

“Yes dear,” Steve replied with a tiny smile. Natalia punched him playfully in the shoulder while the rest of the Meatball Trio snickered.

 

“I wonder how Pepper’s doing,” Laura pondered. She had gotten up to seat herself in between Sam and Natalia once she had followed up on the security footage of Tony’s exit from the building and into his waiting car.

 

“Pepper will… I honestly don’t know this time,” Natalia replied. “She told me she went on a date and it wasn’t that bad.”

 

“With who?” Laura asked with careful curiosity.

 

“Logan,” Steve answered before Natalia could.

 

“Not the best turn of events for Tony,” Natalia remarked. “But he can always join Deadpool’s ‘I Fucking Hate That Shit-Fucker Wolverine Because He’s So Fucking Awesome- Read Fucking Annoying’ club. I kid you not on the name- unless Wade’s changed it again.”

 

“I met Deadpool once,” Bucky revealed as he leaned against the table next to Steve. “He attempted to fist-bump my metal arm.”

 

On the other side of the world, Deadpool, whose real name was Wade Wilson, shivered and muttered: “My ears are burning. It feels sexy.”

 

“We might be very distantly related,” Sam grumbled back in Wakanda. “There is an estranged branch of the family that disappeared off to Canada.” The restrained expression of yearning on Sam’s face showed how much he missed his biological family. He could smuggle them messages, like how they smuggled Laura’s relatives messages, but the distance hurt when there was no opportunity for holding one’s loved ones in one’s embrace.

 

“Well, whatever happens with Stark, we can only do the best that we can in our own endeavours,” T’Challa announced. “We have dedicated ourselves to preparing for the troubles ahead. We’ve made that our responsibility.”

 

“We need to move to connect the networks of those willing to stand up and protect those who cannot fight,” Ororo said decisively. She’d been mostly quiet and observant the entire time as she mulled over her opinion, but now that her mind was made up it was hard to ignore the absolute conviction she had in her words. Something like lightning flashed in her eyes as she found and held the gazes of everyone present, settling last on Mystique who met her regard steadfastly. “And do our best to convince those who can, and have yet to feel this duty. We’re approaching a time when humanity will need to rely on each other and forget the differences we squabble over. It’s as Stark said: We’re no longer just citizens of countries in the world, but citizens of a planet in this Universe. This is no time for factionalism. This will be about survival.”

 

The celebrations for the night were postponed, and a quiet meal was had instead. Everyone had much to think about.

 

In the stillness of their bedroom Natalia watched as her husband stared out into the dark tangled jungle vista from his seat on their bed. The darkness that it hurt her to see was back. She’d resisted her own demons that night, because although Tony had mentioned the idea that they were trained to deal with taking lives, in reality there was no training that could prepare you for it. And if you got used to the feeling of life disappearing before your eyes as a result of your actions then you had a serious problem on your hands.

 

Natalia clambered onto the bed, sweeping up the skirt of the turquoise maxi-dress she’d chosen to wear for the dinner that had been postponed and settled on her knees behind her husband. She wrapped her arms under his and around his torso. His shirt was rumpled and his tie discarded on the bedspread. Softly pressing her lips to his skin, she kissed a trail down his neck to his shoulder, before taking in his scent deeply.

 

“What did I say Steve?” Natalia murmured. Her amber perfume was warm and comforting, though Steve dearly loved the subtle natural smell of her skin that he was much more used to detecting. Faint as it was, the sensory perception that she was there with him on missions was grounding amid chaos. It had been a long time since she’d needed to use safari soap to neutralise her scent for a mission. “What do you have to remember?”

 

“I have to remember to think of myself as a police officer,” Steve answered in a quiet rumble. A long time ago, when Natalia had realised the extent of the PTSD Steve was dealing with, so much that he’d become acquainted with Sam, she tried to reason with him in a dark moment by providing this logic. It wasn’t much, but it helped some. “I’m just a police officer who sees a lot of action. I’m not a blood-thirsty maniac. I’m not fucked up. I’m not looking for a war. I’m just a police officer. I just want to keep people safe.”

 

“You’re just a police officer. We’re just police officers with a lot of action on our beat,” Natalia reiterated. “We’re going to keep as many people as we can safe. We’re going to help as many people as we can, Steve.”

 

“Natalia,” Steve whispered as he turned his head to kiss her silky crimson hair. “Promise me we’re going to do everything we can to get through this in one piece. I want this so badly. I want you and our children so badly. I want my best friends and my family. I want everyone else to have that too.”

 

“I want that too Steve,” Natalia assured her husband as she tightened her hold on him. “And I’m going to do everything I can to keep this. We can do this Steve.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was difficult and it’s not very long, but it wasn’t easy subject matter. I had thought about Tony doing this, but then I watched a documentary about torture survivors who had been detained in dark prison sites and I can’t bring myself to accept the reality that people can do that to other people. I’m aware that it happens in too many places around the world. My own parents were tortured because of the political history of my country, and they never talk about it. I actually don’t know how to put the words together to say what I want to say on the topic. 
> 
> But I feel that control over life and death is a huge issue in any Superhero storyline that is never addressed to the fullness the subject deserves. It just lingers in the background sometimes at the end of an arc, or the beginning of an arc to drive the characters or manipulate them. I feel like we don’t retain the message long enough to try to do something about it in reality. There are so many things happening in our lives all the time, but I wish we could just treat each other humanely. I don’t know how to fix it, but it needs to be fixed. 
> 
> Also, Deadpool and Falcon are NOT family as far as I know. But I thought hey, wouldn’t it be kinda awesome if they were? Can you imagine the family reunions?


	23. Sundae Layers (Part 5: Mirabilia)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise to all of you who have been waiting for ages for me to update. I’ve been looking forward to writing this chapter for a long time and wanted to release it as soon as it was written. Unfortunately it took me a while. I had to do some “adulting” (even while sick) and got frustrated with annoying work things. Why do people call other people when there is email? Kids need phone calls, not professionals. I had a lot of time wasted waiting for people to disseminate information through phone calls that it would have taken one email to clarify. The frustration made it difficult for me to concentrate since I hold tension in my throat and shoulders so I wasn’t breathing very easily, which meant I wasn’t able to focus. 
> 
> And then, there was the damn Karaoke. It seemed like the local private school hired out their grounds for the week or something because every night from six until ten loud blaring Karaoke sounds drifted in through my open windows, and when they were closed seeped through my walls. I spent a lot of time staring in the direction of the school with my eyes bulging like an angry RDJ. Someone singing ‘I love Rock n Roll’ off beat and many other people singing other songs in too high a pitch is torturously stilting for the creative process. Why did they do this? I live in a suburb so quiet it could be the sticks. No, it’s quieter than the wilderness at night. I generally type best at 1 AM when it’s silent. 
> 
> I much prefer spending too much time on Pinterest looking at Spiderman memes instead of waiting around and being annoyed. So I had to cheer myself in a similar fashion repeatedly. Have any of you seen that fake trailer for ‘The Avengers 1978’? If not please go check it out on YouTube, and also look for the ‘Best scenes’ of it. The guy who is supposed to be Tony/Iron Man, but is actually ‘Exo-man’ or something looks like a lecher…and his suit makes him look like some kind of vibrator! You’ll die laughing at Captain America’s shield though.
> 
> Also, my Snickers cravings are getting ridiculous. It’s almost as bad as when I was working out to the extreme and had an iron deficiency and was suddenly craving liver-which I had hated my whole life up until that point. I ate 2 double bars in one day! That’s effectively four Snickers bars.

 

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Twenty Three

 

Sundae Layers (Part 5: Mirabilia)

 

Sunday, 4 December 2016

Bucky as a blond was Ken-doll weird. Bucky as a blond with blobs of eye shadow administered by Lila in an attempt to create a smokey eye and wearing a fox-ear Alice band looked like Grumpy Cat and Steve was so taking a picture. This would make him the Snicker Emperor, Ruler of the Laughs, at last. His reign would probably only last an hour, but it would be worth it.

 

It had been ages since he had last won the title, which had been created because whoever was left laughing last was rewarded with an actual crown of wrapped Snickers bars. There had been strict rationing of the goods by Victoria, who was appalled at the lack of healthy dietary behaviour. Only one bag was opened every Sunday. The last time Steve won months ago, Natalia had commandeered his crown and devoured it by herself- or if one was being generous in their description of events, the nutrient content of the chocolate bars were shared between her and the unborn Beans- after demanding he whip up a bowl of the bacon and chilli pepper sauce she liked to dip the confection in.  

 

Steve took the snap of his friend, and in the early morning quiet Bucky had heard him. He glared at Steve, but could not retaliate because he was still being made up by the little brunette child. It was a rule that no noise was to be made in the house before seven o’clock. Natalia would not stand for it, and would bear down on who ever she caught like a Great White Shark ambushing a seal pup.

 

An almost nine-months along with twins Natalia was no joke. The snivelling curses and threats she hurled at Steve had been a weekly occurrence when she was at the seven month mark. She had fully expected that the Beans would have been born early. But that had not happened, and now Steve knew to take her twice daily venomous hissing in Russian quietly. He also learned new phrases that not even the saltiest of World War Two Russian troops in the dead of winter while being bombed by the Luftwaffe had ever expressed in his presence. 

 

When they had to evacuate from Wakanda to Namibia a month ago, Natalia was so livid she did not speak to anyone at all for two days. Most of the gang expected Secretary of State Ross to die suddenly and mysteriously as a result- perhaps while ‘crocodile cage diving on a whim’. He had been the one to indignantly raise questions about Wakanda’s commitment to diplomatic peace and justice. Ross was the reason for the UN special investigative inspection of Wakanda. He had insinuated that perhaps T’Challa was harbouring fugitives since his country was suddenly publicly welcoming to ‘all kinds’. It was a jab at the Wakandan age-old acceptance of Mutants.

 

If one were Wakandan, it wasn’t even an issue whether or not Mutants were equal citizens. If one had a long-held belief entrenched in the psyche of one's society then it wasn’t usually deemed necessary to wave a flag and say ‘Guess what? We welcome you even if those other people say you’re freaks’, especially if that society was one that was closed to global interaction until fairly recently.

 

Ross’ insinuations were rather impertinent considering that they were in response to Wakanda’s outrage over the invasion of its airspace. A NATO drone had been shot down near their eastern border by the Wakandan Defence Force. One could have considered it a rash reaction to the incursion, but the memory of the bombing that killed Olivia Ng, the teenage Mutant, and brought Natalia to Wakanda was still fresh in T’Challa’s mind. He was not going to chance that happening to any of the people under his protection.

 

So the fugitive Avengers and their friends and family slipped into the cover life Natalia had begun to create in Windhoek, Namibia. Consequently Bucky had become a blond and Steve had auburn hair and a beard. Natalia had returned to raven locks. Pietro and Wanda joined her in their roles as her younger siblings. Mystique decided she would be Natalia’s identical twin- her not-pregnant identical twin that had no pregnancy complaints. Steve fully understood the kind of evil that lurked behind Mystique’s grin when he saw that Mystique had assumed a slim, bob-haired version of his wife. The woman had chosen to reveal her decision as they were boarding their flight to Windhoek. Natalia had turned almost purple for a second in silent rage, and Steve was sure that if Natalia was ever going to manifest a Mutant power that it would be the ability to incinerate people at will.

 

Clint also joined the dark side and got a salt and pepper look as the ‘eldest brother’ of the family. Victoria was to be the mother of ravens, and she had moved in with Kyle and Francesca Harvard- Steve and Natalia’s cover identities- to help in the lead up to the birth and the months afterwards. She chose to go back to the same red she had when she helped Natalia out in Brazil. This was done just in case the Beans arrived and came out with reddish hair, which was likely considering that Steve was naturally blond and Natalia’s childhood colour was a fiery scarlet. The genetics could be explained if they needed to remain where they were for an extended period of time.

 

Laura escaped with only a ‘mom haircut’ discarding her long tresses for a short pixie cut. She hated it, but kept her opinion to herself unlike Sam who would bemoan the shape of the afro that was not to his taste. It was too early nineties and an awkward almost-medium length he complained. He felt like he looked like one of those dudes who always seemed to be wearing the same African print tunic shirt paired with khaki pants Steve would buy. Sam found he should have never voiced that opinion, because it soon became his identity’s image. He doubted that even his best game would land him a date in his get up.  

 

Cooper, Lila and Nathan kept their looks. Laura was home-schooling them on the small farm plot that the Bartons, Maximoffs and Ms Darkhölme were living on. Bucky and Sam were housemates that lived a street away and posed as Steve’s work colleagues, who were also friends of the family.

 

In their bid to present a façade of normalcy, they all gathered at the Harvard household on Sundays for lunch. Bucky and Sam were usually there for almost the whole day. They still ran with Steve in the dawn hours of the morning, much to Sam’s chagrin, and often breakfasted with him and his wife.

 

That morning, Sam had moseyed back to his and Bucky’s house to get some African Devil Chilli Peppers from the bush that grew in their yard. Steve was out of them and would rather have them on hand before Natalia craved them, which she did in spite of the heartburn she suffered from. Lila had slept over, as had Wanda. They’d treated Natalia to a girls’ night, though they spent most of that time eating goods baked by Victoria and cheering along with Girl Power classic movies. Steve had narrowly missed a broken nose when Lila had run down the hallway with a field hockey stick procured from goodness knows where, chanting what sounded like feminist strike slogans at nine thirty the night before.

 

Although they were all playing roles to blend in, the domesticity felt pretty good to Steve. It certainly wasn’t run-of-the-mill, and he hadn’t expected it to be. He’d only ever allowed himself to get as far as imagining a family life with Natalia specifically as the woman in his life, and his daydream life looked as oddball as the one he was currently living. But Steve’s understanding of life had never been about striving to be ordinary. Something would always be happening, and that day’s ‘something’ would be his claim of the Snickers Crown. After lunch he would be coroneted and all the glory and chocolate covered caramel and peanut goodness would be his. With the dissemination of the meme he was creating among their group, he would end Mystique’s reign. Clint would not usurp him either. Steve could taste caramel victory- that is, until his wife silently crept up behind him and bumped her belly into his back.

 

The touch was gentle, as were the encircling arms that wrapped around his torso from behind, so Steve was relieved that Natalia had not been angered by some unknown factor. She tended to be especially silent when she was ticked off so as to ambush and strike down those whom had earned her ire with more dramatic flair. Although she was heavily pregnant with twins, Natalia never lost her edge. Sure she wasn’t about to do backhand springs in her condition, but her step was still silent. Her training had ensured that she’d be able to carry over five hundred pounds and still be light on her feet. There was no waddling happening for Natalia, and some members of their party secretly speculated that the refusal to concede to that type of movement was what made her crankier.  

 

Steve smiled at the soft kiss Natalia lay between his shoulder blades and grasped her hands with one of his. Bits of breakfast preparation lay in bowls and on chopping boards before him on the counter, waiting to be cooked.

 

“Steve,” Natalia murmured. “I just lost my mucus plug.”

 

Steve froze.

 

“It was a bloody show,” Natalia continued quietly. Across the open plan room, Bucky and Lila stilled noting Steve’s eyes widened in alarm. A ‘bloody show’ meant his Natalia was going into labour and contractions were likely to start soon. Natalia huffed a sigh and admitted in a tiny voice: “I’m scared.”

 

Steve’s grip on her hand tightened slightly, and he turned in his wife’s arms so that he could cup her face and hold his forehead to hers. Looking her directly in the eye, Steve reassured his wife in a low tone, “I’m scared too, but I know you can do this. We can do this. We’re going to do this. I’m going to be right beside you the whole time, I promise.”

 

“Bucky could you grab Nat’s hospital bag and put it in the truck?” Steve asked his best friend over his shoulder. Understanding what was happening immediately, Bucky did as his friend asked.

 

On the sofa, Lila cocked her head to the side and asked, “Uncle Steve, is Aunty Nat okay?”

 

“Yes, of course she is honey,” Steve answered. “It’s just that Aunty Nat’s ready to have our babies now, so we’re going to have to go to the hospital. Say what, why don’t you go wake up Wanda and Granny Vicky for us please?”

 

Lila beamed widely at Steve’s response and ran to hug them both before skipping up the stairs just as a clean-faced Bucky came down them. A minute later and Victoria appeared at the top of the stairs.

 

“Are you alright, Natalia?” the sleep-dishevelled woman asked.

 

“Bloody show,” Natalia replied simply.

 

Victoria blinked, shook her head and directed: “Right then everyone, seven minutes and we’re in the car. Natalia, come get dressed and Steven shower quickly. Wanda, Natalia’s going into labour- call Clinton. I’ll call the OB-GYN. James call Samuel and inform him of our departure time. Lila, I hope you’ve washed your face and brushed your teeth. If not, then do so now. You’ll have some cereal in the car.”

_Ten_ minutes later and Sam was tightly clutching the wheel of his white Volkswagen Jetta parked on the road while Bucky stomped back and forth between the front door and the 4X4 truck Steve and Natalia had, hollering at the inhabitants of the house to get a move on. For some reason Bucky was wearing fox-ears on top of a baseball cap. On his last holler, Sam saw that Bucky snatched something from the air and, when he turned around to stalk back to the truck again Sam saw that it was a kitchen knife. The motion had looked so innocuous, like Bucky had caught car keys or the like. To Sam, it was clearly indicative of the mood in the house, though he wouldn’t have been able to hazard a guess which of the adult females in the house had thrown the blade- it could have been any of them. For a guy who had a lot of sisters, Bucky sure could rile women up unnecessarily.

 

At last, Wanda came running out and slipped into the front passenger seat next to Sam, buckling her seatbelt quickly. Victoria and Lila were right behind her but headed to the truck. The older woman glared icily at Bucky while he hung over the driver’s door. Victoria helped Lila, who had a bowl of cereal, in and headed back to the front door just as Steve and Natalia were exiting. From the vicious look on Natalia’s face, Sam was sure he could place money on who had thrown the kitchen knife. Steve looked calm on the surface, but Sam could tell from the tension around his eyes that the man was freaking out on the inside. Victoria locked up the house while Steve helped his wife into the back seat of the truck next to Lila and then hurried to take her place in the front passenger seat. Steve and Bucky had a small argument about who was driving, but after Victoria yelled both their given names the matter was settled and Bucky took the back seat next to Lila. And so finally, they left for the hospital with Sam and Wanda following Steve’s white Isuzu pick-up truck.

 

“Steve, you drive like an old man,” Bucky muttered from the back seat.

 

“I drive like a man whose wife’s in labour and who wants his family to get to the hospital alive,” Steve retorted through clenched teeth.

 

“It’s not Steve’s fault the traffic flow is slow,” Victoria interjected as she sat calmly surveying everything around them. “It’s just before seven o’clock mass. Early birds are going to church.”

 

“I thank both of you nonagenarians for insisting that we live near a catholic church, I’m so grateful for the church traffic now that I’m in labour,” Natalia smiled sarcastically.

 

“I had no say in this. You built this cover-life all by yourself,” Bucky insisted.

 

“Listen here you horse’s cum-bucket,” Natalia growled at him in Russian.

 

“You do know that I’ve been teaching Lila Russian right?” Bucky interjected with a note of concern. Natalia stared at him stupefied. Victoria swivelled her head around to narrow her eyes at the man. Even Steve glared at him through the rear-view mirror.

 

“My name is Lila, and I’m the best girl in the world!” Lila chimed in Russian, breaking the silence.

 

“That’s lovely, dear,” Victoria assured her in English gently before returning her hardened gaze to Bucky.

 

“Why the hell would you do that?!” Natalia yelled at him exasperatedly and still speaking Russian.

 

“Yes, why would you, James?” Victoria reinforced.

 

“Yeah, Bucky why, man?” Steve sighed.

 

“She only knows the basic greetings and that phrase she just said, Nata,” Bucky shrugged defensively.

 

“But you know- _you know_ what Nat’s been saying the past month,” Steve accused as the traffic progressed slowly.

 

“You should be focusing on getting us onto an alternate route, Steve,” Bucky retorted. “There’s a toddler on a tricycle making faster progress than us.”

 

“What do you expect me to do?” Steve shot back. “Drive on the curb?”

 

“Natalia, are you still all right? Any contractions yet?” Victoria asked ignoring Steve and Bucky.

 

“Yes! I feel claustrophobic. We planned alternative routes extensively for this reason,” Bucky argued back to Steve.

 

“I’m fine, Vicky,” Natalia huffed.

 

“I can’t drive on the curb! For one I might _hit_ the toddler who passed us by, or his parents, or their dog! I’ll also ruin Missus Nujoma’s topiary front garden. She won a gardening club prize for that landscaping, man. That will cause a scene and get us in the papers,” Steve responded to Bucky.

 

“Oh my God, Steve!” Bucky groaned as he dragged his hands over his face.

 

“Shut up!” Natalia shrieked at him. “I’m the one having two babies here- and guess what? Stupid Doctor Helen Cho who thinks your idiotic eyes are dreamy and made you special experimental skin for your arm won’t even consider stretchmark crème for me. I have two giant babies coming out of my-”

 

Bucky clapped his hands tightly over Lila’s ears as Natalia’s rant got graphic.

 

“-vagina because their father had to be a sodding super-soldier. I’m probably going to be torn up to shreds and will piss a little every time I take a shot with a machine gun from the damn jolting, but that woman refused to let me have a teeny tiny bit of her tech so I won’t be left with a cavernous mangled vagina! And she’s beyond idiotic not to realise that pregnant women everywhere would benefit from a stretchmark crème developed from the synthetic tissue tech. We could be using that instead of slathering ourselves futilely with every kind of oil we’ve ever seen on Pinterest; we wouldn’t be holding back tears worrying that everybody’s going to think our post-baby stomachs look like scrotums!”

 

The silence rang loudly in the car as Natalia tried to calm herself down.

 

“Nata, I didn’t mean to-” Bucky began.

 

“I think I’m having a contraction,” Natalia calmly cut him off. “Steve, I need your hand.”

 

He immediately complied and Natalia squeezed his fingers. Watching his wife in the rear-view mirror, Steve requested: “Vicky, would you be so kind as to help me change gears as needed, please?”

 

“Certainly,” Victoria answered. “And how’s about we turn the hazards on.”

 

Victoria pressed the small red triangle button on the dashboard and rolled down her window to call to the church’s parking volunteer in her very adept Namibian accent: “We’re just going to the hospital. My daughter Francesca’s finally having her twins!”

 

The volunteer, who was the father of one of the ballet school students, started, and quickly directed traffic so that a path was cleared for them past the church and its surrounds. The rest of the journey was smooth, with Steve holding Natalia’s hand and lowly murmuring instructions for Victoria to change gears as needed. Natalia breathed her way through several contractions while Lila watched her with careful curiosity and snuggled next to Bucky who busied himself with analysing their changing surroundings.

 

T’Challa had been so kind as to send the OB-GYN that Natalia had been seeing along with them to Windhoek under the guise of a medical professionals exchange program where doctors would visit hospitals in either country to exchange ideas on their different approaches to their areas of expertise. Steve and Natalia were glad of it because the actual process of birth was an area where they wanted as few sudden changes as possible. Victoria phoned the doctor again to check on her progress in meeting them at the hospital. As luck would have had it, the doctor had chanced upon a woman going into labour right before Victoria called her that morning and as it was difficult birthing circumstances she felt it was necessary to stay with the woman in the ambulance and accompany her straight into theatre when they got to the nearest hospital. There was no reason for Natalia and Steve to panic though because the doctor had assured Victoria that she would be joining them shortly.

 

They pulled up to the hospital gates as Victoria ended the call and stopped at the boom.

 

“My wife’s in labour,” Steve told the security guard. His accent was still terrible, but enough of an American twang leaked through to make it seem as though he was a local affecting an American accent, which was surprisingly common in the region as many people had further developed their second language English from watching American sitcoms.

 

“Right, sir, then you need to go park over there in the visitors’ parking,” the security guard, who had flat hair that seemed almost the same shade as his sunburnt skin, told him unfeelingly.

 

“Young man, my daughter’s in labour and she needs a wheelchair,” Victoria told him sternly as she leaned across the gear box so he could see her face.

 

The security guard glanced at Natalia who was stone-facedly riding out a contraction right then before turning his head back to Steve and Victoria.

 

“You have to park in the visitors’ parking. It’s hospital policy,” the guard replied firmly. “No chancers.”

 

“How the hell? She’s busy having a baby, man!” Bucky protested from the backseat in Afrikaans.

 

The man simply stared back at Steve with a blank expression. Something in Steve snapped then. Perhaps it was the vice-like strength that Natalia was gripping his hand with but he’d had enough with the hiccups in the simple plan to get his wife to the hospital in one piece.

 

“Fuck this!” Steve swore as he slammed his foot on the clutch and Victoria intuitively responded by shifting the gear stick into reverse. Steve swung the car around and once again changed gear with Victoria’s help and zoomed into the visitors’ parking as Lila gasped “Uncle Steve! You cussed!”

 

“Sorry, Lila,” Steve apologised calmly as he parked the truck. “That man was not being reasonable and your Aunty Nat is in a lot of pain right now.” Steve stilled the engine and they hurried to get out of the vehicle. Bucky dashed around to Natalia’s side and opened the door and attempted to pick her up out of her seat although her seatbelt was still buckled. Natalia slapped his hands away and glared at him.

 

“I am in labour, not some damsel who needs to be carried to safety,” Natalia hissed as she forcefully fidgeted with her seatbelt until it clicked undone. Apparently the statement was ignored by her husband who attempted the same thing and succeeded.

 

“Steve, you’re supposed to have a bad back,” Bucky reminded him as he got Natalia’s hospital bag out of the back of the truck. “You’re supposed to have had surgery on it and that’s why _‘Francesca’_ had to leave the country to nurse you.”

 

“Well, I’ve been filled with the power of an irate parent and I’m not letting my wife walk into that hospital so that douche-bags like that one can think it’s okay to make women in labour walk all this fucking way when they need to be allowed to get to the casualty drop-off point at least,” Steve ranted as he stomped towards the casualty entrance he mentioned.

 

“Sir, you need to go in through that way,” The security guard called bossily.

 

“Fuck you!” Bucky yelled at him in Afrikaans, flipping him the bird along with Victoria as they strode right past the flabbergasted man. None of the adults of their group noticed that as Lila skipped behind them, she imitated the gesture with two hands and flashed the man an impish grin that Uncle Tony would have been proud of. The guard saw it though, and so did an astounded Sam and gawking Wanda as they pulled into the visitors’ parking.

 

The two late-comers caught up to the gang at the reception desk where Steve was holding tightly onto the handlebars of a wheelchair that Natalia was sitting in and staring down a nurse who had offered to push. The cheerful almond-skinned woman backed away with a reassuring smile, having seen many a stressed out first-time father in her career. Natalia was griping about how it was all unnecessary and how she was still capable of walking. Victoria speedily filled in forms and Bucky was corralling Lila away from the Nemo and Dory shaped balloons just outside the hospital lobby gift shop. It was a small blip of the regular kind of chaos the hospital faced daily and hardly anyone noticed their party make their way upstairs to the private room they had reserved in the maternity ward.

 

@>-`-,----

 

In a linen supply room on the other end of the hospital’s maternity floor, a raven-haired green-eyed nurse pretended to be sorting through sheets. She was being followed. It was the same annoying presence that had been bothering her on and off for months. It was the worst possible time for the enigma to catch up with her since she had a job she had sworn to do and now was the moment of its execution. She contemplated setting up a trap for the stalker, when she was disturbed by a too-loud-for-indoors voice arguing with a smoother one. And then the door to the linen closet opened and the two speakers barrelled in.

 

“I’m completely sure that such attire is not suited to someone who appears to be the age I appear to be according to human standards, and that your human pet Darcy is having a laugh at me,” a dark-haired man griped over his shoulder to the blond man who was pushing him in.

 

“Now see here brother, you cannot walk about in a cape on this planet and not attract great amounts of attention, and this is the absolute opposite of what we are trying to achieve,” Thor argued before he caught sight of the other occupant of the small confined space. “Lady Natasha?”

 

“I thought you said she was with child,” Loki commented with a frown and a sneer. Both Asgardians were dressed in human casual clothes. Thor was dressed in khaki suede sneakers, jeans, an open red hoodie and a blue t-shirt with characters from the animation ‘Adventure Time’ and the words ‘Party God’ emblazoned above the bodiless head of a snarling wolf wearing a backwards cap. Loki wore emerald green converse hi-tops, black jeans, a black t-shirt that read ‘Shut Up Muggle’ and an unzipped green hoodie with Slytherin house Quidditch insignia on the chest.

 

“Have we missed the birth? Heimdall said it was imminent,” Thor lamented sorrowfully.

 

Loki frowned disbelievingly at his brother before snidely asking, “You do realise that not even Asgardian women warriors’ bodies bounce back into svelteness minutes after giving birth, don’t you Thor?”

 

Noting that the two men’s silhouettes blocked the small window at the door and that there were no camera’s in the closet, the woman with jet-black hair smirked at them and put her hands on her hips before morphing into a scarlet-haired, blue-skinned and yellow-eyed Mystique.

 

“Hello Alien Boys,” Mystique crooned as Thor rubbernecked at her with his eyebrows raised while Loki smirked back at her with surprised glee. “I’m Natasha’s, or Natalia as she’s going by these days, big sister- sometimes brother. If I like you, you can call me Raven. If you value your reproductive appendages, call me Mystique until otherwise directed.”

 

“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Mystique,” Loki greeted suavely, bending his head to kiss the hand Mystique proffered. She held his gaze and grinned a little wider to match the devious smile plastered on his face.

 

“Don’t even try the mind-control rigmarole,” Mystique warned him with gentle admonishment. “I’ve spent most of my longish-for-a-human life involved with people with cognitive talents of the world-changing manipulative variety. I think it may be in my nature to excel at that kind of defence.”

 

“That explains why the Black Widow shook me off so easily,” Loki mused. “It must be hereditary. Broken minds are usually delicious and fun to play with.”

 

“Lady Mystique, I, Thor Odinson, and my brother Loki,” Thor interrupted grandiloquently- the blond saw the sharp glare his brother threw his way and refrained from adding any more titles, “are overjoyed to meet with one of Lady Natalia’s blood. But though we wish to enjoy our introductions and savour this new acquaintance and contemplate on the future delight it will surely bring to our lives, we must besiege you to direct us to the whereabouts of your blood-sister for she is my warrior-sister and the father of her babes is my warrior-brother as well as my eternal video-game player two as I must offer my support and encouragement during this momentous occasion, for through circumstances out of my control-”

 

“He got stuck in a well in our uncle’s library,” Loki interjected.

 

“- I missed the nuptial celebrations of my dear friends,” Thor continued. “I would never forgive myself if I did not witness the commencement of life in this wondrous Universe for these innocent bairns.”

 

“You’re on the wrong end of the ward,” Mystique butted in. “Now if you’ll excuse me while I snoop, fulfil my decoy duties and hopefully crush the gnat that’s been skipping along the edge of my periphery, I’ll leave you to it.”

 

Mystique morphed back into Natalia’s form as she slipped through the two Asgardians, brushing a little close to Loki.

 

“I loved the chaos that you infected your surroundings with when you attempted to take over this planet. Though I’m glad my little sister could stop you,” Mystique remarked huskily. “I doubt our paths would have crossed if you lay my home world to waste, since I’d probably have to flee to another dimension or the like and meticulously plan my revenge before I stabbed you in the skull. After I made you hurt real good, that is.”

 

Mystique winked at Loki before she pushed open the door and sauntered out.

 

“We have finally found you a suitable bride,” Thor declared a little awe-struck, patting his brother on the shoulder absently.  

 

@>-`-,----

 

“I don’t need to be breathing like that now, Steve,” Natalia drawled. “The contraction passed.”

 

“Well, I still need to breathe like this,” Steve replied as he powered through a bout of rhythmic breaths. “Who actually shows a slightly panicked first-time father what his wife’s dilated cervix looks like? It’s only a little but it all makes this so real.”

 

“And the near bone-crushing force I’ve been squeezing your hand with every so often wasn’t an indicator?” Natalia smirked at him. “Damn I’m so hungry, do you think they’ll let me eat?”

 

“Er, I’ll ask Laura,” Steve huffed as he put aside the fluster he felt trying to remember whether he knew if his wife could eat some breakfast.

 

“Steve,” Natalia chided, “It was part of the required reading.”

 

“I figured it was, but I think all this breathing is making me light-headed,” Steve retorted. “Oh yeah, you can but it’s restricted. And I have to hear what your OB-GYN says now that you’ve started contractions. Gee, where is Doctor Zuluka?”

 

“Victoria will find her,” Natalia assured him. “She’s only been gone six minutes.”

 

“Knock knock,” Clint called from the door. Cooper trailed after him and the boy hauled a large round gift basket in his arms. “Special delivery via ‘Fury Couriers’: Baby shower gift.”

 

“Hi, you finally found a parking spot,” Natalia greeted.

 

“No, but Pietro’s still hovering like a hawk watching and waiting for one. He has the potential to be my protégé, the eldest of my minions,” Clint told them. “How’re you feeling?”

 

“Hungry,” Natalia informed him.

 

“Can she eat?” Steve asked him earnestly as he accepted the basket from Cooper and ruffled up the kids’ hair. Cooper attempted to flatten it again as he glared up at Uncle Steve annoyed.

 

“Did you ask your doctor?” Clint replied easily.

 

“She’s not here yet,” Steve answered as he stared at Clint like he was a life-line in a choppy sea.  

 

“Did either of you eat breakfast?” Clint asked. “Because Steve you look pale.”

 

“He’s been breathing too much,” Natalia excused. “But we hadn’t yet before we left.”

 

“Cooper, go ask Wanda where Aunty Nat’s snack bag is, please,” Clint instructed his son. “Victoria let you leave home without making you eat?”

  
“Bucky was being a tool and yelling at us to hurry up, so we were all too ticked off to remember,” Steve explained. “I should have made a list about that though. I thought I had the plan memorised.”

 

“Why don’t you guys open up the gift basket?” Clint suggested, knowing that the couple needed a distraction to help gather their wits. “It’s from the second richest guy we know.”

 

“Is that why there are two Barney plush toys in it?” Natalia asked rhetorically as she glanced over the twin purple dinosaurs dressed in diapers. She opened up the card and saw its cover. “Please say you didn’t say anything about ‘Beans’ to him?”

 

“I believe that the bed of Iron Man red and yellow jelly beans under the baby toys and clothes and lining your gift basket will be sufficient answer to your question,” Clint sniffed.

 

“What does it say?” Steve asked curiously about the card. It had a dancing bean on the cover. Natalia handed it over to him, rolling her eyes as she did. Steve read it aloud: “‘You know what goes well with Bean dip?’”

 

“Oh this is going to be horrible,” Clint grinned as Steve opened up the card to read the rest of the message inside.

 

“‘Doritos’,” Steve said flatly. “‘And you Natalie are full of _Beans_. I have absolute faith that because you and that knucklehead Steve go so well together- like chips and dip- you’ll have this parenting thing down. Sorry I can’t be there to support you two _svelte_ dinosaurs through the jungle of new-fangled baby gadgets but if you ever need someone to help you protect your brood, I’m so there. Love Tony.’”

 

“He put chocolate-covered brazil nuts in the diapers,” Natalia said with a note of disbelief as she peeked inside a Barney toy’s diaper.

 

“They are bean-shaped,” Clint stated.

 

“I’m going to remember your view point on this,” Natalia replied as she sifted through the mound of variously sized jelly beans filling the basket, popping a few into her mouth as she did. Hearing an odd clanging noise as she explored, Natalia paused and then shoved a pile of beans aside. There lining the base of the basket was the upturned form of Steve’s shield. “Steve…”

 

“My- the shield,” Steve stuttered. His eyes flicked to Natalia’s, before she dunked all the candy into the basket as she flipped the shield. It was blank. The old insignia was gone. The shield no longer announced allegiance to a country. Taking the domed piece of vibranium from Natalia with uncertain hands, Steve held it up to examine the familiar piece of gear. “It has a small inscription here: ‘Property of Any Good Citizen who wishes to defend the Planet Earth’.”    

 

“I don’t know what to say,” Steve declared quietly as he continued to slowly turn the bare shield to catch the light.

 

“Well, you’ll probably have a lot of time to think up a response since they’re supposedly still evaluating Tony’s mental health so they can be done with his attempt to face charges,” Clint offered. Steve put the shield down, resting it against the stand next to Natalia’s bed and straightened up.

 

“If they label him crazy then you know we’ll have to bust him out,” Natalia smirked as she squeezed her husband’s forearm reassuringly.

 

“This is a pretty awesome gift-aaaaaarrrggggh!” Steve yelped as Natalia sunk her claws into him. “Nails, Natalia!”

 

“Fucking contraction, Steven,” Natalia hissed. “I’m about to give birth to the most awesome gifts you’ll ever get, you idiot!”

 

“I know, doll,” Steve smiled at her through a grimace- she had drawn blood.

 

“Good morrow, dear friends,” Thor’s voice called from the doorway.

 

“Thor!” Natalia, Steve and Clint exclaimed in surprised unison. They immediately launched into three different barrages of questions, but Thor picked out Natalia’s question above the general din: “Where the hell have you been and what have you been doing?”

 

“Well, you see, I had returned home to continue my research on the infinity stones,” Thor told them sheepishly as he stood in the doorframe tracing the rectangular line of the wood with feigned nonchalance. “But I had some official duties I had forgotten about to deal with first. There was this huge trade negotiations meeting between Asgard and several other worlds, and some peoples take very long to speak and it is considered the height of rudeness to not devote your entire attention to the matter at hand, so I spent quite some time in that. When I finally got out of that ordeal, I saw that I had several thousand messages. Heimdall had told me he had watched the whole scuffle with Tony.

 

“I then knew I had to speed up my research into the infinity stones because I had an inkling the issue might be linked to covert forces attempting to direct Midgard’s politics. So I went to my Great Uncle Mímir’s library, and he is a rather longwinded soul”- the three humans exchanged knowing glances at Thor’s choice of words- “but no one dares remark on that because all that’s left of the poor fellow is his decapitated head. I had planned on asking him for help on finding the information I sought, but he had begun to ramble on about matters I am sure had very little relation to what I was concerned about, things about moons of Saturn and Death personified. So I began to search by myself. Unfortunately I fell into Mímisbrunnr- it’s an actual well of knowledge, you know- and got caught up following tangents that did not pertain at all to what I originally sought. Fortunately, a guard rescued me. Or whom I thought was a guard. Guess who I came to my aide?”

 

Thor beamed at them excitedly. Natalia was reminded of the Christmas shot of her dudoir calendar as Thor radiated happiness. The three humans shrugged, seeing that their friend was bursting at the seams to tell them and was not really asking them to guess. Thor reached for an unseen person outside the room, his eyes remaining on his friends as he grinned, and yanked a raven-haired man in.

 

“Harry Potter?!” Steve gasped.

 

“What?” Thor exclaimed in confusion as he looked down to see a much shorter man that exactly resembled the actor who played that character in the movies. Glaring at his companion wearing a ‘Shut Up Muggle’ Shirt and Slytherin hoodie, Thor scolded: “Stop larking about!”

 

“Thor you can’t just kidnap actors,” Clint said slowly. “No matter how much you like them or the movies they are in.”

 

“He’s not an actor, he’s my brother!” Thor protested as he shook the man, who was grinning maniacally. “Loki, if you do not prove you are yourself right now I will show that blue maiden the hologram of that hunting incident where you fell into the mating pits of the-”

 

“Alright, alright,” Loki’s voice interrupted before ‘Harry Potter’ turned into their regular bane, Thor’s adopted brother.

 

“My wife’s probably going to hit you, y’know,” Clint stated bitterly.

 

“She already has- with her handbag. She carries a lot of heavy things in there,” Loki noted.

 

“How are you alive, Loki?” Natalia questioned seriously.

 

“Well that is a complex question. What is ‘life’? You could go on for centuries discussing that, but if you’re speaking of the simple biological sense of the concept then I am alive because I have living tissue and I did not die after my last brush with mortality,” Loki explained cheekily.

 

“He didn’t die! And he was impersonating a guard to get around easily. I even bumped into him in disguise while he was watching the worlds with Heimdall,” Thor explained gleefully.

 

“Your particular group of humans is so entertainingly melodramatic,” Loki smirked.

 

“And he was impersonating our father,” Thor added enthusiastically.

 

“Because he’s lost his mind,” Loki reasoned.

 

“He hasn’t lost his mind- he’s just distressed and father gets overly enthusiastic in his actions when that happens,” Thor defended as he turned to his brother who stared back at him with an expression of unimpressed incredulity on his sharp features.

 

“Great Uncle Mímir is a floating head, Thor. Do you really want Odin free to roam and do as he wishes when he’s ‘distressed’?” Loki countered cynically.

 

“As interesting as all of that sounds,” Natalia spoke up, “I really don’t feel like watching you two bicker while I’m having contractions. So do something else like sit out in the waiting room, or find me some food, or my doctor.”

 

“Of course. Lady Natalia,” Thor replied eagerly. “We merely wished to inform you of our presence and extend our offer of support through this magical journey as you guide the souls of your bairns from the divine ether into-”

 

“Thor she’s going to throw something at you,” Loki pointed out bluntly. The two extra-terrestrials left quickly, bumping into Wanda who squealed hellos and asked Loki too many odd questions after she delivered Natalia’s snack bag and two chicken wraps from a takeaway store across the street for Steve.

 

“I’m starting to get worried,” Natalia told Steve as she tucked into a Tupperware box of plain pasta. Every morning and every night for the past two months Victoria had prepared, cooked and packed the contents of Natalia’s snack bag. “Vicky’s taking too long finding the doctor.”

 

“Can you check on the situation, please, Clint?” Steve requested. “It’s a little too long for me too and the time between Nat’s contractions is decreasing.”

 

“Yeah I’d rather we have a medical professional we know nearby, if we have to go with a different OB-GYN in our situation,” Clint replied, adjusting his accent midway as he saw one of the hospital nurses approaching to check up on Natalia. The woman looked enough like Sharon Carter to set Natalia’s teeth on edge.

 

“Sjoe, but you’ve got a lot of visitors waiting welcome your little ones, Mrs Harvard,” the nurse remarked as she checked the instruments that Natalia was hooked up to.

 

“I guess everyone’s free because it’s a Sunday,” Natalia replied in her Namibian accent, taking Steve's right hand as he put his opposite arm around her shoulders.

 

“And how are you feeling?” Nurse De Jager, as her name tag told them, asked.

 

“I’m not liking the contractions, but it’s nothing I can’t handle,” Natalia answered truthfully.

 

“And how’s daddy doing?” the dirty blonde nurse inquired playfully. “Close to fainting yet?”

 

“I think I’m doing well, I’m excited,” Steve answered in his weird accent. It did not appear to disquiet the nurse and she proceeded to check on Natalia’s cervix.

 

“You’re coming along quite nicely, Mrs Harvard. Just a little more and we’ll be ready to deliver,” Nurse De Jager informed them.

 

“What!” Natalia exclaimed. “I’m not ready! My doctor isn’t here yet!”

 

“Don’t worry, Mrs Harvard, we have some of the country’s finest doctors on our staff. If you do need to go into delivery before your obstetrician arrives, you’ll be in very capable hands,” Nurse De Jager assured them.

 

“Don’t worry, babe. You’re going to be okay. We can do this,” Steve said trying to comfort her.

 

“This is your fault,” Natalia accused. “You had to go and drink a gallon of the lemonade and be all irresistible. Now my vagina is going to hell! You know what? I’m going to make you watch as your damn garden of delights is raised to the ground in a bloody battle!”

 

“Don’t worry Mrs Harvard,” the nurse said as she patted the back of Natalia’s hand. Steve tensed, ready to deflect Natalia’s grip if she decided the Nurse should suddenly have a reason to visit orthopaedics. “Women have gone through the same process for millions of years. Thousands of women give birth every day. You’ll do fine.”

 

“Have you seen how huge I am? These are big babies and there’re two of them,” Natalia retorted sarcastically.

 

“You have great child-bearing hips, Mrs Harvard, so that should be no problem,” Nurse De Jager said genuinely trying to soothe Natalia. The expression on her face revealed that she was anything but soothed. The offended mortification changed into a grimace of pain, but the sudden flare in activity from the machines indicated the cause was a contraction. “Tell you what, I’ll go try to contact your doctor again.”

 

The nurse left them for her station, and the couple held hands and ate a few jelly beans while they waited for news from any corner. Both of them would have preferred it if their next visitors had not shown up.

 

“Unfortunately your doctor could not be reached and our staff members feel that it would be best if you consented to a delivery by another doctor,” Dr Bruce Banner explained breezily as he strode in with Betty Ross at his side. The woman had dark mahogany hair and looked more like a Veronica than a Betty, except for the smile. Her smile was sickeningly saintly. Both scientists were wearing white lab coats and checking Natalia’s charts as the other couple gaped at them dumbfounded.

 

“Bruce,” Steve uttered, lost for words to say.

 

“Hi,” Bruce greeted casually as if he had last seen them an hour earlier and not disappeared from their lives over a year and a half ago, and then sent Natalia a measly postcard as confirmation of his survival and return to his wife ages later. He moved to lift the sheet to check on Natalia’s dilation, but she kicked his hand away swiftly.

 

“You are not going anywhere near my vagina, buddy,” Natalia snarled. “You’re not even a doctor of medicine!” The admonishment was followed by a Tupperware box to Bruce’s right temple. Steve instantly shifted to shield his wife with his body, expecting the wavy-haired scientist to be sparked into turning into the Hulk from the assault during a tense situation.

 

“Look, Bruce, I think we’re just a little bit shocked,” Steve reasoned mildly with the man.

 

“You’re right about one thing, Captain America,” Betty Ross piped up, pulling her phone out of her lab coat pocket. “We’re certainly ‘shocked’.”

 

As she spoke the words and tapped at her phone screen, Bruce tensed and then fell to the ground in a limp heap. Steve stared at the unconscious man, unable to believe that his old teammate had not turned green from the jolt he’d obviously received. Natalia however, kept her eyes on the other woman in the room, who was still smiling as inanely as she had been up until that point.

 

“What did you do to Bruce?” Natalia asked through clenched teeth.

 

“Just figured how to make him obey my every whim,” Betty revealed as her smile turned into a devious grin.

 

“Then you must be in possession of some ingenious and inhumane technology,” Natalia concluded.

 

“So you’re the invincible Black Widow,” Betty observed coolly. “The best of the best.”

 

“It’s my super power,” Natalia retorted cheekily.

 

“I can’t believe you’re actually about to pop out some brats. You’re as big as a walrus, you know. I bet you’re all kinds of slow and inept,” Betty giggled. The sound was tinged with madness and happened to be something that Natalia and her husband often encountered. Steve blinked slowly as he raised his eyebrows in astonishment. This was definitely different to any ideas he had about Betty Ross and so very different from his former girlfriend the late Betty Ross, the great aunt of the woman standing at the end of Natalia’s bed.  

 

“You don’t deserve the title of Black Widow, Natalia Alianova,” Betty Ross declared as she touched her neck and her face morphed into a different one.

 

“Um, sorry, who are you?” Natalia enquired genuinely.

 

The woman ripped off her brunette wig to reveal blonde tresses and smirked at Natalia smugly.

 

“I’ve still got nothing,” Natalia told her. “Though guessing from your stance, you’re probably a product of the Red Room. A newer agent perhaps- they don’t make ‘em like they used to.”

 

Natalia sighed audibly and waited for her opponent to respond.

 

“You really think that words will harm me?” the blonde woman scoffed. “It shows how undeveloped your skillset is. Yes, I am a graduate of the Red Room. A worthy graduate. And I’ve come to collect my title from the disgrace that you’ve become.”

 

“Still don’t know your name,” Natalia shrugged. Steve glanced at her insouciant profile, and noted that Natalia was clawing her palm with her thumb forcefully. She was faking her blasé attitude right through a contraction.

 

“Yelena Belova,” the woman announced slowly, speaking Russian. “I’m sure you know I can’t leave you to play house-house with white picket fences, daisy gardens and the dumb American jock that’s made you soft.”

 

The pistol was whipped out speedily, but through some miracle Steve had acted faster. His foot had been pressed against the edge of his shield as it was laid against the small night stand next to Natalia’s bed. Steve had flipped the shield up expertly with a kick and caught it behind his back before swivelling around to shield his wife and unborn children still in utero behind it. The sound of a six bullets which had exited a silencer fitting as they hit vibranium zinged in the air. There was a dull thud. It should not have worked. It could not have worked. Natalia fully expected to open her eyes to the worst, to see her Steve…

 

But it worked. Steve was staring at her wide-eyed and running his hands over her body, checking for injuries as his expression grew more and more fraught. There had been six shots and then- no there were seven shots. Natalia peeked over Steve’s shoulder. There was no sign of the blonde Yelena, and Natalia pushed her husband up so that she could have a better look. There on the floor, the beautiful blonde woman lay with a bullet hole in the side of her head and a splatter of brain matter sprayed out of the other end. A pool of blood was quickly increasing in size on the floor.

 

“It’s only me,” Victoria’s disembodied voice called from the ceiling. A few seconds later and the seventy year old woman flipped down onto the floor, and walked up to check on her kill. “Sorry I took so long, I noticed something odd and I had to tail these two.”

 

“The bullets must have ricocheted,” Steve theorised as he stood beside his wife once more. “Is Bruce okay? Is he hit?”

 

“No,” Victoria informed them as she squatted down on her haunches next to the corpse of Yelena. “But he is drooling quite a bit. There appears to be something on the back of his neck. I’m going to attempt to remove it.”

 

“Wait, shouldn’t we leave it be, we don’t know what we’re dealing with,” Steve piped up.

 

“I’m a general surgeon Steven, as in an actual doctor of medicine,” Victoria sighed in exasperation.

 

“Oh yeah,” Steve realised. “I’ve not been very on top of things today.”

 

“I reckon you were on top of things enough to save Natalia and those little Beans,” Victoria reminded him. She had taken a small medical kit out of her cardigan pocket, and was using the tweezers to examine the small beige square stuck to the base of Bruce’s neck.

 

Mystique ran in to disrupt their peace, huffing as she did. She looked down at Yelena, and frowned deeply before she groused: “So she’s the one who has been following me since before the drone attack on Natalia’s ranch. Damn it, I wanted to kill her.”     

 

“Is Doctor Zuluka alright?” Steve enquired worrying about what the stress of an attempted assassination during labour would have on Natalia.

 

“Yes, she’s scrubbing up right now under the watchful eye of James,” Victoria answered as she continued to scrutinise the small patch on Bruce’s neck. “Mystique, could you please clear this up before Bruce is face down in Yelena’s blood. I take it Clinton has cleared the immediate vicinity?”

 

“Yes,” Mystique grumbled as she silently regretted the sullying of her shoes in grey matter and blood. Natalia’s current doppelganger got to work on removing Yelena’s body.

 

“Take back up and incinerate her,” Natalia instructed. “She’s Red Room. She may have a taken a bullet to the brain, but they’re not above finding out how to do the freakiest shit you’ve ever seen.”

 

“That was my plan,” Mystique replied, “minus the bodyguard.”

 

“Steven, check Natalia’s cervix for me,” Victoria instructed. Her focus was still on Bruce so she did not see the flash of terror that seized Steve’s face for a second. He took a deep breath and edged around the bed to lift the sheet covering his wife’s lower half.

 

“It looks like a lot,” Steve reported in a voice that was higher in pitch than his usual timbre.

 

“Centimetres, Steven,” Victoria huffed as she started to tug at the patch on Bruce’s neck.

 

“Ten centimetres,” Steve whined, but the information was swallowed by the sound of Bruce groaning back to life. Everyone in the room froze in anticipation of what the groggy man who could turn green would do.

 

“Betty,” the disorientated scientist mumbled as he sat up.

 

“I’m sorry to inform you Doctor Banner but that was not Betty Ross,” Victoria notified him carefully. Her hands hovered nearby to check him over once she deemed him safe. “Do you know where you are?”

 

“No,” Bruce replied as he rubbed the heel of his palm against his eye socket and winced. “No I know where I am: Windhoek, Namibia; but I also know that wasn’t Betty. That woman hacked my nervous system and has been controlling me- with a damned app on her phone!”

 

For a second, a flood of insecure thoughts flashed through Steve’s mind. Did that mean the return to Betty Ross was a ruse all along? Steve mentally slapped himself for thinking that his wife, who was fully dilated and about to give birth to their children, would leave him for the other guy.

 

“She took Betty hostage and got me to submit to her device,” Bruce clarified. “Betty’s still captive so we need to get her.”

 

“Well, as much as we’d like to help right now, I’m kind of fully dilated here Banner,” Natalia replied. “We’re also technically fugitives in hiding. But if you go speak to Clint, I’m sure we can get you through to Fury and he’ll be able to do something.”

 

“Nat, we can’t just-” Steve disagreed.

 

“If you think you are running off to rescue anyone right now then I will- fucking hell damn contractions! Steven I don’t care if the Pope is about to be abducted by Satan, you are not going anywhere!” Natalia cried.

 

“Of course I’m not going anywhere, Natshechka,” Steve reasoned with her. “I just thought that maybe we could ask some of the others to go with Bruce in case this is a time-sensitive life or death thing.”

 

“Also, it would look really good if the fugitive ex-Avengers rescued Secretary of State Ross’ daughter. He wouldn’t be able to publicly defame you without looking nuts,” Mystique commented as she finished wrapping up Yelena’s body and some of the contents of her head. “Never mind that the dickhead tried to kill me with a drone.”

 

“Bruce, are there any surprises waiting for us?” Natalia probed.

 

“I don’t know much. Yelena seemed pretty single-minded about killing you,” Bruce reported. “And I really do need to get back to Betty- she’ll be distraught and I promised her this kind of shit wouldn’t happen.”

 

“Yes, well, Doctor Banner that’s just not a promise anyone can make,” Victoria laughed in disbelief. She glanced at the covered body of Yelena and sighed. “I would have liked to have questioned her to see if this was related to larger events or if this was just a silly little personal vendetta, but alas.”

 

“Can we please get me out of here? Because this pain is really bad and I want these kids out of me ASAP,” Natalia grimaced. Steve looked paler than he had been earlier, and had remained quiet as his wife crushed his hand almost non-stop.

 

“Yes, why aren’t you moving her?” Victoria scolded no one in particular. “Let’s get these machines.”

 

The sudden flurry of activity separated Natalia and Steve for a moment. Natalia’s eyes flitted to the various objects being handled around her, while Steve watched her keenly. The fear he’d seen in Natalia early that morning flitted up to the surface again, and exhaustion was beginning to wear on his wife.

 

“Natshechka, we can do this,” Steve smiled at her weakly, although his determination was steadfast in his eyes. He took her hand again as Victoria and Bruce, who was trying to be as helpful as he could, wheeled Natalia towards the door. “I know it’s fast, but we can do this. You can do this and I’ll be right here. This is how we operate anyway: we take forever to get anything started and then once we do we’re chaotic and lightning fast. We can do this.”

 

“Go scrub up quickly,” Victoria instructed as the unwitting Nurse De Jager met them down the passage away from the carnage. She tugged Steve towards the small pre-op preparation room. “We’ll need you in delivery so hurry.”

 

Half an hour later and Clint had won the rock, paper scissors challenge to be the first to visit the new parents and their twins. When he walked into the new room they’d been assigned through Mystique’s arrangements, he saw that Steve was seated in a chair next to a shattered Natalia. The bellows that rang down the hall as she delivered had been hair-raising, and Pietro who had finally managed to park the car was swiftly sent back out again with anxious children to do something diverting.

 

Cradled in Steve’s arms was a bundle of pink, and in Natalia’s a bundle of blue. Clint grinned at them and approached with quiet but eager steps.

 

“Steve fainted when he saw the afterbirth being expelled,” Natalia chuckled quietly.

 

“We’ll I forgot to breathe and passed out when Cooper was born so I missed his actual emergence into the world,” Clint replied as he patted Steve on the shoulder and then leaned in to kiss Natalia on the forehead. “So, names? Please tell me neither of them has names derived from Anthony.”

 

“This is James Joseph Ivan,” Natalia introduced.

 

“And this is Demelza Sarah Victoria,” Steve told Clint quietly.  

 

“The boy’s got a good name but Demelza?” Bucky questioned from the entrance to room as he impatiently broke hospital rules about visitor numbers and lurked behind the open door with a teasing smile. “Is that even a real name?”

 

“I can still throw projectiles, James,” Natalia warned. “It is a real name, has been for years.”

 

Steve would have elaborated further that Natalia was a huge fan of the television series ‘Poldark’, which probably would have been a bad idea to do so in her presence because the Black Widow would never admit to naming her child after a favourite fictional character, and was absolutely determined to name their daughter Demelza if she turned out to be redhead, but he was too distracted by the tiny infant with scarlet hair in the same shade as Mystique’s.

 

Both babies had the same colour hair, which was an unusual shade in infants, but that was the only obviously extraordinary thing about their appearance- Other than the fact that they were possibly the cutest new-borns in existence. Usually babies were wrinkled and strange-looking for the first little bit of their lives, but Natalia felt a little smug that her little Beans possessed the most adorably long lashes, inherited from their father. It was an opinion confirmed by every one of their many visitors, and Natalia was highly practised in determining truths from falsehoods.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d just like you all to know that I put off preparing for work to get this done because I did not want to leave you lovely people hanging. 
> 
> Thor refers to the Beans as ‘bairns’. I know this is a Scottish and Old English thing, but I’m learning Swedish- because I can- and noticing all the etymological links between the languages I know. So I thought, ‘Why wouldn’t Thor use the word “bairn” if it’s so close to the Swedish, Danish and Norwegian “barn”, which means “child”? They’re Germanic, Scots and English are Germanic and Old Norse is also Germanic.’ 
> 
> Spock says my reasoning is suitably logical.
> 
> I wrote, like, ten thousand words for this chapter!


	24. Sundae Layers (Dagger’s on the Wall)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started plotting in this chapter in my head, I thought I had it figured out. I went for some gelato, spotted a new flavour and the store assistant said it had Nutella in it. A voice that sounded like Steve hissed ‘Do it!’ in my head and I bought some and ate it. 
> 
> Then I set about writing this chapter and I did not get very far. I wrote everything I had planned on writing, but it felt like nothing happened in the chapter.
> 
> So I mulled it over, and certain threads glared at me telling me of their need to be useful. Consequently, it gets really alternate universe here.

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Twenty Four

 

Sundae Layers (Dagger’s on the Wall)

 

Sunday, 14 March 2017

Natalia wondered if Clint had sent Lila to taunt her on purpose or if she had inherited her father’s sense of humour. It absolutely could not be a coincidence that the little girl had been gleefully playing alone and singing the ‘I’ll Make A Man Out Of You’ song from ‘Mulan’ in the panoramic garden at the top of a very long staircase in the Wakandan Royal Palace Grounds- the staircase that Natalia had been running up and down with Bucky slung over her shoulders purposely being a dead weight. The mischievous twinkle in Lila’s eyes made Natalia lean towards the latter conclusion.

 

Natalia did not have the energy to comment on the incident. She still had to carry Bucky back down and not topple over. It had been ages since she’d trained with Bucky like this, but he was still a pretty good task master. Or at least, he complied with her demands to be pushed further. It took some convincing though. Bucky had only agreed to train Natalia after her continued incessant pelting of him with any- _any_ \- object that was nearby whenever they were in each other’s presence for a total of sixteen days had led to an exasperated outburst on Bucky’s part. No one else would train with her except for Wanda, and Natalia was still the teacher and Wanda the pupil in that exchange. Everyone else was firmly in Steve’s ‘Nat, you just had two babies’ camp. Bucky had been in that camp too, but after a combination of being greeted with the words “fight me” at every opportunity, finding bits of grated cheese in his hair more than once and droning lectures about how Natalia had been able to train after fighting off a bear attack in Siberia among other physical feats that Bucky _already_ knew about, he finally agreed to help her.

 

At the bottom of the four hundred step winding passage, Natalia dumped Bucky on the ground without any ceremony, a move he rolled out of with ease to rest on his haunches. She flopped down to sit on the grass huffing as she did and not caring about the wet equatorial earth under her.

 

“That was a shit ending. If I was being as strict as you want me to be I’d make you do it all again from the start and then set me down with careful lightness in your movements. My landing made no sound, but that was due to my efforts and not yours,” Bucky admonished aloofly in Russian.

 

“Fuck you, James,” Natalia swore monotonously.

 

“Really, I don’t get it,” Bucky sighed, continuing in Russian, as he got up to sit on the second last step behind Natalia and brushed the loamy soil off the palm of his right hand. “You have all of us here. You’re protected. You don’t need to be this. Not now. You should take it easy on yourself and be with your husband and children.”

 

“I could be with my husband,” Natalia replied in her native tongue through gritted teeth, “and he knows I would prefer this, but when I asked him to do this for me he looked at me like I was nuts.”

 

“You are a little bit,” Bucky snorted. He paused and then added: “A lot.”

 

“This is how I function. I need to be prepared always,” Natalia expounded as she began her cool-down floor stretches. “They made us that way, and it’s the one damn thing I’m glad they did. Well, one of two: if HYDRA and the Red Room had not attempted a super-soldier serum neither of you nor I would be here.”

 

Bucky acknowledged her statement with a nod of his head.

 

“You guys are all here for us, for James and Demelza,” Natalia explained softly, “but I’m either going to be their first or last line of defence and I want to know that I’ll be able to do my best. I have to get back into peak form for them. I wish I could just relax and stare at their little faces in wonder all day, but I’m worried. Anything can happen- you know that. We’ve all accepted that to varying degrees.”

 

“How are you going to live in the world if you think like that, Natalia? How are you going to raise your children to live fully if you let that mind-set control you?” Bucky chastised. “For someone like me, thinking that way is alright. But for you, Steve and your children it should be different.”

 

“It’s not controlling me, Bucky,” Natalia corrected, swapping their conversation over to English. “I’m simply giving myself the freedom to live fully, knowing that I’m prepared. I need to be able to do more than throw things and shoot to be prepared. I want to know again that I can handle whatever comes. Also, don’t sell yourself short, Yasha. You do remember that I am the world’s best spy and I know all about the smooching going on between you and a certain other green-eyed woman? None of this ‘woe is me, I’m probably going to jail forever’ shit okay? Don’t rob that ship of the wind in its sails. You are already approved so the morose defeatism is pointless. Even if I have to smuggle you to another planet, I’ll make sure you behind bars doesn’t happen.”

 

Natalia smirked knowingly at the surly blush that Bucky was pretending did not colour his face, and sat up to settle herself cross-legged next to his feet to stare at her old friend.

 

“‘Smooching’? Gee, Nata, what century are you from? You sound like a geezer from the forties,” Bucky sneered playfully having chosen to pick up on that bit of her speech.

 

“Just keep making her laugh and don’t flake out on her,” Natalia instructed seriously. Bucky rolled his eyes and Natalia poked his knee hard with her index finger. “I’m serious. You’re the king of flaking out on a woman- ask Victoria. Wanda deserves to have a great romance- the kind you grow up expecting when you read all those novels and watch all those films. You’ve seen a lot, done a lot and I know she’s almost naïve, but I’ve decided that I think you two may be good for each other. Whatever you have will be good. I think you know how to play at her pace, while appearing to take the lead. At her age, women like that. And you’re smart enough to step back when she realises she’s wearing the pants!”

 

“Excuse me,” Bucky scoffed with mock-indignation.

 

“Also, I taught her how to dissect a man’s scrotum while it’s still attached to him and he’s still awake,” Natalia informed him nonchalantly. “That was the best module in the Red Room. ‘Vengeance: How To Heighten It’s Sweetness’.”  

 

“Ugh!” Bucky groaned. “Get out of here and go ‘smooch’ your husband before he glares balefully at me like some vengeful work widow- _er_ at dinner later on.”

 

@>-`-,----

 

Natalia was a little glad that Steve and the twins were not awake when she entered their suite- it meant that she got to admire the adorable tableau the father and infants made as they slept on the sofa. Steve was dressed in a grey t-shirt, black tracksuit trousers and was barefoot. Natalia knew he loved the texture underfoot of the silver coloured Persian rug that lined the hardwood floor of their personal lounge. James and Demelza were on his chest swaddled in their separate baby sleeping bags. Those were fashioned to look like burritos with colourful ruffles lining the hoods. They had been part of Tony’s baby shower gift.

 

She sat herself carefully on a floor cushion next to the sofa, wanting to spare the carpet from her training session’s mud and grass stains, and busied herself watching her little family. The twins’ faces had rounded out some, their cheeks getting fuller every day and becoming more cherubic. The red hair was still a shock against their pale skins. Even though they were tiny, Natalia had to say that James looked more like Steve and Demelza took after her. Though, James had her green eyes and Demelza’s eyes were a purer blue than Steve’s. Her husband said his little girl’s eyes were just like his mother’s. They both definitely had Steve’s long lashes.

 

Natalia fished out her phone from her side pocket and took a snap of the trio. She captioned it ‘Double order of Bean Burritos’ and sent it off to Tony, Vicky, Pepper and Rhodey. Placing her phone on the coffee table next to her, she leaned her elbow against the polished ebony wood and rested her head against her palm. Steve’s sketchbook lay open on the table, as did his Derwent pencil tin. Her husband had preferred working in charcoal and graphite, but after she’d come home a month ago to him in a panic with two crying babies covered in soot, he opted to change materials so he wouldn’t have to wash the messy residue off before he could pick up their offspring.

 

Natalia smiled gently at the memory of a flustered Steve. They both knew that living with twins was proving to be quite a challenge, but Steve had insisted that he would be fine alone with them while she went to the palace spa with Ororo, Laura and Wanda. The rest of the guys were nowhere near helpful because it was the thick of a busy sporting weekend and they were watching several games all at once. Clint had his own brood of three to watch over, so his hands were full. Still Steve had adapted quickly, and Natalia was so proud.

 

They were both learning as they went along, but she knew that just two years ago Steve would not have trusted himself to fall asleep with two babies in his arms for fear of doing something to them as a result of his PTSD terrors. He still had a nightmare every once in a while, but he’d been determined to confront his demons and conquer them as best as he could. It helped that he had Bucky and Sam to talk to. The Meatball Trio really got each other in that respect, and she was glad that Steve had more people to open up to who would always have his back.

 

As for herself, she had to resort back to her calming self-hypnosis techniques in the first few weeks after she had given birth. If she hadn’t, she would still have Steve coming to curl up behind her as she slept on the nursery floor unwilling to leave when she checked up on the twins in the middle of the night. Training again was helping, but she wanted to feel part of the machine bent on protecting that was their team again.

 

“Hey,” Steve whispered as soon as he sensed his wife. His eyes cracked open and he grinned at her lopsidedly.

 

“Hey,” Natalia whispered back. She reached over to gently brush the soft crimson curls of her two little Beans off their faces before doing the same to their father.

 

“How was training?” Steve asked.

 

“Exhausting,” Natalia admitted. “It feels like Bucky weighs more now, despite his arm being supposedly slightly lighter. It probably has something to do with the Nutella and Snickers binge you Meatballs have been on since Victoria left.”

 

“Don’t push yourself too hard though,” Steve requested with an endearing smile.

 

“I miss training with you,” she confessed. Natalia glanced up at her husband, allowing him to see the vulnerability she felt expressing that statement. “I’d like it if you sparred with me sometimes. I know you don’t agree with what I’m doing, but Steve this is part of me.”

 

“I know,” he sighed. “I should train with you. I will. I guess I just wanted to protect you for a little bit. I wanted…you to trust that I could so you could enjoy these little Jelly Beans.”

 

“Oh Steve, I do trust that you can. I just don’t trust Murphy not to send a horde of shitheads our way and I couldn’t bear it if I couldn’t do something to the best of my ability to help keep our family safe,” Natalia tried to explain.

 

“Murphy is a bit of a shithead, so I get you,” Steve chuckled. He craned his neck a little towards her, parting his lips softly. Natalia understood the gesture and leaned forward to share a sweet kiss with her husband. 

 

“Any news on Tony’s trial?” Natalia enquired.

 

“Nope, just a lot of rehashed interviews and panel discussions with psychiatrists and psychologists on TV. I still think they won’t declare him deficient, nor will they accept him standing any kind of trial,” Steve told his wife. “Ross is getting annoyed at looking stupid.”

 

“I wonder if he’ll go with trying to look magnanimous as the rumours are indicating,” Natalia mused. Their public image did seem overall positive at that moment. Mystique going off with Bruce to rescue Betty Ross disguised as Steve wearing an ‘Equal Rights for All’ Mutant solidarity t-shirt, while Natalia- with the real Steve at her side- was recovering in hospital helped quite a bit. The newly re-elected President of the United States had commended Steve for heeding to the moral compulsion to aid in Betty’s retrieval despite the current climate. It was a huge statement. One that prompted Secretary of State Ross into reluctantly expressing thanks in a televised press conference.

 

“I miss Tony though,” Steve revealed. “I wish we could all talk this out.”

 

“I’m not holding thumbs, but I hope that we can too, Steve,” Natalia agreed. “I know you want to live openly. Don’t think I don’t know what’s on your Pinterest.”

 

Natalia smiled at her husband sadly. She was referring to the ‘New House’ board that Steve had been adding things to. As great as it was living in a palace, she knew her husband wanted for them to have their own home. She understood that he wanted to give their kids a life where they were not in hiding. He also really wanted to move back to Brooklyn.

 

On their first serious ‘date’ date, they’d passed an old firehouse that was up for sale. Out of curiosity they ended up stopping the agent who had been locking up after a viewing and asked if they could have a look-see. Naturally the estate agent showed them around and Steve’s eyes had lit up with all the possibilities for the space. Steve had an inescapable affinity for aesthetics- _Natasha Romanoff_ could attest to that after reading all the mission reports her old partner had filed that were filled with unnecessary visual details about hues and texture. Natalia could imagine them actually living there; though she imagined that Nick Fury would have had S.H.I.E.L.D. surreptitiously buy out two blocks of the street on either side to protect them.    

 

“What’ll we do if they let us go back, Natshechka?” Steve asked sincerely. “Should we go back?”

 

“We should,” Natalia answered definitively. “We made a choice to stand up for what we think is right, we shouldn’t be robbed of our home for that. I want to go back. I don’t think they’ll ask us to be Avengers though. I think the Avengers may be officially over. Thor isn’t bound by an Earth contract, and the only people left serving on the team are Vision and Spidey-shit, who has yet to pass high school.”

 

“We’re still Avengers though,” Steve smirked faintly. Natalia nodded. “But in the mean time we can just try to be regular folk.”

 

Natalia had to stifle her giggles so as to not disturb her sleeping babies.

 

“I think we’ll probably land up with some sort of crazy cooking show called ‘Meatball Trio’ with a daily segment on cooking with Nutella,” Natalia gasped between silent chuckles.

 

“We can’t go back without Bucky being allowed freedom,” Steve stated solemnly after their mirth dissipated.

 

“I know,” Natalia responded. “It won’t do to have one of the godfathers of our Beans unable to see them.” Natalia stroked down the side of James’, who was nearest, burrito sleeping bag and then Demelza’s before announcing: “I’m going to take a shower.”

 

“Can I come with after I put James and Melzie down?” Steve asked with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Her husband had been experimenting with nicknames for their daughter, but hadn’t quite settled on one yet. She was only three months old so consistency did not matter yet.

 

“Definitely,” Natalia nodded, before she got up to head to their bathroom.    

 

@>-`-,----

 

Natalia abruptly sat up in bed with a Glock in each hand ready to fire. An eerie chill up her spine that warned her that something was about to happen had woken her. It was barely a second later that her husband bolted up next to her, spinning his shield off the mount above their bed and bracing it before them ready to defend. The blue glow of the alarm clock on Steve’s bedside pedestal read 11:37 PM. It was way too quiet, all the ambient night sounds of the Wakandan jungle were gone, and all the couple could hear was their own quiet breaths.

 

A loud boom shook the building and the couple rolled out of bed and onto the floor. Natalia panicked for a second that little James and Demelza had not immediately broken into loud wailing, but she remembered that they had their new noise-reducing sleep hats on, a measure that they’d resorted to when one baby waking the other up with their cries all the time had become too overwhelming.  

 

Steve signed to his wife that the noise sounded like it came from either Wanda or Pietro’s rooms, and she agreed. The cacophony of defensive actions followed. Natalia assumed it was Palace Security reacting. Normally, she and her husband would have been the first to investigate, but their priorities had shifted. Slinking across the floor, Steve provided Natalia with cover as they made for the nursery and quickly bundled up their babies. Natalia was surprised to find both twins awake blinking at her but quiet and she fleetingly wondered if this was some sort of survival instinct triggered by the tense dangerous atmosphere or if she and Steve were just lucky.

 

Natalia slipped James and Demelza into their twin baby sling and Steve handed her his shield to hold over them and picked up her Glocks, which she had laid down, to defend them. They could hear masonry being destroyed, screams from little Nathan that wrenched at their guts, and Sam yelling incoherently. But they had to keep their heads and stick to evacuation plans. Their objective was to get all the kids to the underground tunnels beneath the palace so they could make it to the palace bunker.

 

Thankfully they ran into Laura just outside, who had a bawling Nathan in her arms and a tearful Lila clinging to her. Cooper was scrambling to them from further down the corridor where he had slipped. Natalia grabbed a hold of the young boy and pulled him along as the group made their way to the emergency escape door downstairs in the palace guest quarters’ kitchen. The upper storey’s emergency exit had been blocked by rubble from the fallen ceiling boards.

 

Steve watched their backs as Natalia led the group down, and she had just ushered Lila behind her mother and brothers into the secret elevator behind the pantry wall, when Steve was floored by a body crashing into him. A red-skinned body that should have been on their side. Steve had barely time to shake the fog out of his head from being assaulted so, when Natalia saw that Vision had recovered and was turning on her husband. Without thinking, she flung Steve’s shield to him and whipped off the baby harness to hand her twins to Cooper before slamming the evacuation door shut and spinning back to the fight. She’d long ago trained her heart into making the right snap choices, no matter how difficult the decision seemed. James and Demelza would be safer if their parents tag-teamed their opponents.

 

Thankfully Steve had caught his shield and was fending off Vision’s incendiary glare. Natalia punched the edge of a fire hydrant box in the pantry so that it spun open to reveal a cache of weapons and, grabbing an Uzi, she took off running towards Vision. Launching herself feet first, she aimed her body’s motion at his ankles and collided with them. The red synthezoid had not noticed her incoming attack as he had been concentrating on Steve and she had been outside of his line of sight, so Natalia hit his solid form. Vision buckled and his fiery glare was disrupted.

 

Natalia grabbed a hold of a sofa leg as she skidded along the floor out of the pathway of Vision’s stumbling form, and redirected her momentum to kick up and flip into a fighting stance. Instinctively she sensed her husband’s readiness and the pair attacked simultaneously as Vision regained his feet. Natalia jabbed a fist at Vision while Steve jabbed his shield at the synthezoid from the other side, both aiming to hit him with a vice of blows. Unfortunately, he also had his full wits about him and made his body permeable as Natalia and Steve’s jabs headed for impact. Natalia’s fist hit Steve’s still scorching hot shield and if it were not for a lifetime of punching through things people generally had no business punching through like some martial arts movie protagonist, Natalia would have probably fractured all the bones in her arm. Instead, she adjusted her momentum again to glance off the surface of Steve’s shield and opened her palm to hold the weight of her body as it was slammed flat against the floor when she whipped over into a one handed cartwheel that had her kicking through where Vision should have felt it in his chin. It had no effect and neither did Steve’s uppercut to the synthezoid’s groin which passed through Vision’s torso.

 

They needed Wanda.

 

Outside the wind had picked up and flashes of lightning lit up the sky. Storm. Natalia had thought the Queen of Wakanda would have retreated to the bunker in her pregnant state, but apparently this was not so. Unless Storm’s finesse in her abilities had been underestimated, and Storm was able to direct the weather from underneath the palace without even seeing what was going on above ground. Either way, it made Natalia and Steve highly aware of the fact they were not the only players on the field and they had better calculate the consequences of every action they took. Both fighters had guns at their disposal but knew that opening fire on Vision would be pointless and most likely only result in someone else’s injury from stray bullets.

 

A millisecond’s pause allowed Natalia to observe the new piece of garb Vision had on: it was a collar similar to the one that Wanda had been subdued with on the Raft. Her gaze flicked to her husband and she saw that his eyes were on the device before he met her regard.

 

“Steven Rogers, Natalia Rogers, on behalf of the people of Earth I am here to arrest you. Surrender now or face the consequences. I am authorised to use deadly force if needs be,” Vision droned monotonously. The usually surprisingly lively eyes of their old teammate had about as much feeling in them as an old worn doll’s.

 

“What did you do, Vision?” Steve demanded tensely. The rest of the team should have already been in there, and yet the only fighting Steve and Natalia could hear was outside. Blasts and weapons fire could be heard. Vision did not answer him, and did not flinch at all when an android crashed through the large glass door that led out onto the terrace.

 

The ability to breathe seemed to become extremely laborious as both Steve and Natalia stared down at the piece of machinery scrambling to get up from the floor- and it had nothing to do with the gale force that the air was being sucked out of the building with. Had they been betrayed by their former teammates? Ruthless robots sent to end them was what they were up against, and the possible outcome looked bleak.

 

Natalia had no qualms about firing on the metal humanoid structure on the floor, and her barrage damaged its vital parts. The second she paused, Steve slammed the edge of his shield into the neck of the mechanical beast and lopped its head off.

 

Breathing heavily as he remained on bended knee, Steve did not even look at Vision as he asked: “You sent robots after us, after Ultron?”

 

“I am merely part of a plan to capture you, Steven Rogers. I am not the designer of the strategy to do so,” Vision replied flatly.   

 

“I am talking to fucking Tony- he’s obviously watching this!” Steve roared at the red being.

 

“Steve this isn’t Stark design,” Natalia shouted with as much calm as she could muster over the whoosh of the wind and crash of thunder melding with gunfire. “It’s derivative, but not Stark. Look, there’s something awkward about them.” She gestured to the mass of metal and wires on the floor and the few machines they could see whizzing about outside from their viewpoint.

 

Steve’s eyes flashed with the rage of realisation, and he struggled to calm his breath.

 

“You and your fellow fugitives will surrender, or die,” Vision stated.

 

“Not on my fucking watch,” Bucky declared as he leapt through the air, a dagger raised above his head as he hurtled towards Vision. The synthezoid’s head spun around in time to see his attacker, who was nude save for the vibranium arm brace that covered his entire left arm that T’Challa himself had designed for him, before his large mass collided with the red being. Vision was solid and surprised. But before he could try to do anything about that Bucky had stabbed him in the spine, rendering him immobile as he held the dagger in place. Up on the landing, Wanda stood wrapped in a sheet and covered in a scarlet flame-like glow, her eyes glaring down upon her friend as he was subdued by her new lover.

 

“Wanda get this collar off,” Bucky growled to the woman behind him. Steve stepped forward to attempt to do so when his best friend warned him not to. “Don’t. If you touch the collar, it’ll shock you. It took me down instantly. Sam’s still down. He fell on some structural debris and Clint’s trying to stem the blood. We need to neutralise this now. Wanda!”

 

Wanda shrieked in exasperation and a bright red pulse lit up the room. The collar that had been on Vision’s neck fell to the ground. Outside, the enemy machines paused mid-action and shut down. Most of them crashed to the ground from the air where they’d been attacking from. The sound of impact explosions rang out over the next twenty seconds or so as thirty seven remaining automatons stopped functioning. Their former comrade in arms, Vision, flopped limply in Bucky’s arms.

 

Natalia allowed herself one blink to process what had happened before she hurried back up the stairs in search of Sam and Clint.

 

“I can hold him, James, you can take the dagger out,” Natalia heard Wanda tell Bucky as she left them behind her and ran towards Sam’s room. Natalia did not have to go as far because she found Clint tending to Sam half in Wanda’s room and half in Pietro’s. A huge gaping hole in the exterior wall let in the still violent winds and framed the chaos that had been brought down upon the palace. Small fires were being put out by staff, and bricks and tiles mangled with the remains of androids littered the grounds and crushed nearby trees and shrubbery.

 

Sam, who was flat on the floor, had a thick rod of steel poking out of his right thigh. There wasn’t much blood gushing from the wound but Natalia felt panic rise up to her throat before she could squash the emotion back down. Clint was kneeling beside Sam and was busy tightening the temporary tourniquet he had fashioned from a ripped up sheet. Thankfully, Sam had regained consciousness and lifted his head to grin pathetically at Natalia.

 

“Don’t worry, we think it didn’t hit any arteries,” Sam grimaced. “I’d probably have bled out by now if it had.”

 

“You have a piece of steel sticking out of your leg,” Natalia told him bluntly, “Of course I’m going to worry.”

 

“Are we secure?” Clint asked.

 

“As much as we can be right now,” Natalia answered as she headed towards the telephone beside Wanda’s bed while keeping an eye out on the horizon for any surprises. “The landline’s still good.”

 

She was about to request a medical team when Pietro zoomed in with a doctor and his kit, before zooming back out again for more medical staff. Natalia chose to check up on the occupants of the bunker instead. Laura was relieved to hear from them. They were all fine, though the twins were bawling as was Nathan. One of the Royal Guards who was assigned to protect Ororo, who was actually with them, was helping her try to appease them. The sound of the plaintive cries of her twins tugged at Natalia’s heart but she had to carry on. When all was safe she would go to them, but until then her baby boy and baby girl were in the safest place they could be.

 

Natalia quickly swiped the tears that threatened to breach her eyes away as she heard the familiar gait of her husband approach from the landing. Steve burst in, his eyes falling on Sam, who was still trapped by the spike of metal. Natalia could not look at her husband’s face because if she had to see the wretched expression he wore for more than the second that she already endured it she would have lost control. They needed someone from the palace fire brigade fast to cut the rod so they could move Sam and get him to surgery.

 

Steve was not about to wait though, and thankfully he had insisted on including disaster rescue in his training. Pietro had arrived with another medical professional just after Steve had entered the room, and was promptly sent by Natalia’s husband to get the requisite equipment needed to free Sam. Natalia hovered, ready to be useful though she hung back because she knew too many hands could hinder instead of help.

 

It took three minutes to get Sam free and on his way to the palace medical facilities, a floor of which was a secure underground bunker on its own. Natalia saw that her husband’s lips silently formed the Lord’s Prayer once more as Sam was wheeled into theatre. They both had their dear friend’s blood on their pyjamas. Natalia had burn marks on her fist and Steve had them down his right shoulder and arm. Carefully Natalia wrapped her arms around her husband to offer him comfort as he worried over the friend who had quickly become a brother. A member of the medical team tried to offer them help, but Natalia and Steve waved him off in favour of seeking out their children. They quickly changed into the clean loose clothing that was available in the medical facility and hurried off.

 

“Where are they holding Vision?” Natalia asked as she and Steve briskly traversed the underground tunnels that led to the palace bunker. They held hands tightly, but neither minded the fact that when they eventually let go they would probably have pins and needles due to the strength of grip they were exerting on each other. Their medical facility issued slippers clacked with more noise against the glossy sealed concrete floor than either cared for.

 

“Wanda still has him immobile, but he was healing when T’Challa got there,” Steve informed her. “They’re taking him to the palace dungeon for the moment, but it looks like we’re going to have to act fast whatever we decide to do. They’ve obviously cottoned on to the fact that Vision has the capabilities to track us down, and they might have a plan B.”

 

“They being…?” Natalia queried before she answered herself. “Ross, right?”

 

Steve nodded grimly.

 

“Did someone get Wanda clothes?” Natalia asked. “And Bucky?”

 

Steve grimaced and nodded again.

 

“That was probably the aftermath of Wanda losing her v-card,” Natalia commented with sympathy.

 

“I don’t need to be thinking that right now, Nat,” Steve whined as he ran his hand through his hair. Natalia chuckled, and perched on the balls of her feet to kiss Steve’s shoulder as she squeezed his hand tighter in hers. They’d reached the high-speed underground rail-cart system that transported passengers to the bunker and Steve paused to lift his wife into a pod-shaped car, kissing her as he did before he sat down next to her. They secured their belts, pressed the green ‘go’ button and set off down the lit tunnel, zooming to their destination: the bunker under the enigmatic panther rock formation one could see from the medical base that Bucky had been cryo-frozen in for several hours ten months before.

 

The trip took only thirty seconds, and once Steve and Natalia had made it into the docking bay, they still had to undergo biometric scans to verify their identities before they were allowed entrance into the bunker. There was no time for words as both parents rushed to check on their infants who were still sobbing. Thankfully, James and Demelza quickly quietened once they were in the comforting arms of their parents. Steve had to update the occupants of the bunker on the events that had occurred from their point of view. Normally Natalia would have interjected commentary, but she had to put all of her focus into providing the two babies in her arms with soothing energy. Steve had his arm around her shoulders as they both leaned against the computer bank that Ororo had been monitoring events from, and it helped to bolster her resolve.

 

Laura had her children gathered around her and they watched as Steve recounted what had happened. All three kids had tears streaked down their faces. In that moment, something ignited in Natalia and she was determined to see her will through. The situation they found themselves in was unreasonable and fucked up. They would resolve this.

 

“Hey,” she gently reassured the kids, “your dad’s going to be here in a few minutes. He’s okay. He’s just checking that Uncle Sam’s okay. Uncle Sam got a little hurt, but the doctors are with him and he’ll be just fine.”

 

She did not expect Cooper to launch himself at her, but he did. The boy was careful not to squash the twins, but he held her tightly as he cried into her side. Natalia ran her fingers through his soft brown hair as she looked up at Steve. She saw the same kind of determination to end the ridiculously tension-fraught existence they were living she felt burning within her mirrored back at her in her husband’s eyes. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. I had to let this happen the way that it did, because the storyteller voice in my head said that this was the only way. It wasn’t just because. When I write I need to have a point A to start at and a point B to get to. Point B may shift around and morph a bit, but it’s there. I realised I couldn’t get to point B without this transpiring. 
> 
> I struggled just thinking about it and this is why the chapter is late, even though I had the ‘placid’ part written last week already. Gee, in my original plan for this chapter all that was supposed to actually happen was maybe Steve would get a blowie. Sorry Steve.


	25. Mondays Always Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe this story has turned out to be so long. Really, I can’t. And there’s still a little bit to go. Again, this is the difficult part of the story for me, and it certainly did not help that I kept being interrupted whenever I was inspired or was disciplined enough to write. There’s major student protests going on in my country, and I keep having to go pick my younger sister up after riots on campus get it closed down. My mother is a professor and she also gets stuck on her campus at a different university so I’m left to go pick up my sister who doesn’t have a car yet. It’s kind of crazy what’s going on. My sister came home smelling of teargas the other day even though she wasn’t involved and only passed an area where they dispensed some after things quietened down. Rubber bullets, water cannons, stun grenades, things being set alight… yeah. 
> 
> Oh, and this chapter has very adult bits including some about Red Room and HYDRA practices, but not a lot about the latter two.

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Twenty Five

 

Mondays Always Return

 

Monday, 15 March 2017

The steady suck and hiss of forced breath being inhaled and exhaled slowly meted out into a deep and more natural rhythm. Natalia opened her eyes and looked up at her husband, careful to keep her breathing still synchronised with his in their bid to remain grounded. They both needed it- the simple calming technique. They both needed to physically sense that they were both still there and that they had each other to rely on. This meant the confines of each other’s arms, the feel of one another’s skin, the heat of their living bodies and the sound of their shared sustaining breaths.

 

Steve’s eyelids raised and his blue gaze with a hint of green settled on his Natalia eyes. His expression was dazed and his pupils wide; it was almost as if he was in a trance. Natalia felt as though she might have been in one too as she reached up to tentatively trace over his bottom lip with the tips of her fingers. She stretched up to meet him as he bent down to kiss her tenderly, wrapping his arms around her tighter to hold her closer and letting his fingers curl to dig into her curves just shy of the point of pain.

 

“I don’t like it,” he murmured gruffly.

 

“You’re too angry,” Natalia reasoned gently. “Everyone else is too angry, or too involved. I’m the only one here capable of doing this and keeping a level head. I can do this.”

 

“I want to go home,” Steve griped in a whisper that clawed at Natalia’s heart. She knew what he meant by the statement: it wasn’t a place he sought, but a feeling they’d discovered when they constructed their family- not just the small family that was bound by their blood and vows, but the people they’d chosen to love and let into their lives.

 

“Steve, I’m the only one who can do this now. Sam’s in a post-op recovery room and he can’t do this,” Natalia reminded him. “I want to go home too, but we have to free ourselves first and this is necessary.”

 

She wanted so badly to just crawl into a cocoon with her husband and babies and feel that they were near and safe with her. But she’d had to kiss the scarlet hair of her little Beans and leave them again in the care of Laura and one of the Royal Child-minders who’d already been on hand in preparation for the impending birth of the Wakandan heir to the throne. Someone had to talk to Vision.

 

Natalia let out a shuddering sigh and broke away from her husband who was loath to let her go. She’d only be in the next room, but the betrayal was still too fresh in Steve’s mind no matter the extenuating circumstances.

 

Natalia centred herself, finding the cool calm that allowed her to operate rationally and with ease no matter the environment. It affected her posture, and it was as though she had garbed her body in such marvellous armour that she had every reason for confidence and no justification for fear.

 

She turned to Wanda, who was seated before the two-way mirror wall that allowed them to survey Vision as he was held by the red glowing binds of the Scarlet Witch’s Mutant powers. Wanda’s pupils slid to the corners of her eyes and acknowledged Natalia’s presence, before the older woman nodded her readiness and quietly entered the interrogation room.

 

“I’m slightly at a loss as to how I could possibly torture you if the need came about, so why don’t we scrap the inconvenience and waste of time that would be me trying to find that out, Vision,” Natalia said coolly as she sat down in front of the red being and crossed her legs.

 

His head lolled from its hung position and Vision lifted his face to regard her. “I’m quite capable of inflicting my own torture. My memory is a like a reel of film and I can replay what torments me over and over.”

 

“So we can move onto the whys of how it came to be that you attacked us,” Natalia declared.

 

“I was programmed to,” Vision stated simply.

 

“Expound on that statement,” Natalia ordered.

 

“Apparently I’m not classified as human,” Vision informed her, “or even as a living sentient being. Although I signed the Sokovia Accords, there was no reason for me to as I have been classified as equipment and to clarify further, as equipment of the Avengers Initiative. Because the Avengers Initiative falls under the jurisdiction of S.H.I.E.L.D we answer to the UN Security Council. Most of the Avengers are US citizens. The United States of America has a permanent and powerful seat on the Security Council, and, through a lot of finagling, it was made clear to those persons still working as Avengers that the laws of that country were to be followed while residing there.

 

“Because I was classified as purpose-built equipment, which had been given over to the Avengers Initiative by Tony Stark through his signing of the Accords, and since the Avengers no longer had a leader, Secretary Ross managed to take over running operations and had me programmed to seek out and destroy the fugitive former Avengers. None of the other team members were informed about this. Because I am sentient and have my free will, programming was not possible at first, so the Secretary decided that it would be appropriate for me to be put under the control of a collar. He found that I swiftly complied with his demands once the device was put upon me.”

 

“What further attacks can we expect that have been approved by the Secretary of State?” Natalia enquired calmly. Everyone was expecting drones, and all branches of the Wakandan Defence Force were on high alert.

 

“Drones and missile strikes were discussed,” Vision revealed. Natalia could almost feel the tension in the next room rise. “But the swift public response of the Wakandan King, and his call for an emergency special session of the UN General Assembly, has likely put a stop to these plans.”

 

“You’re still able to monitor media while incarcerated here?” Natalia asked with an arch of her brow.

 

“Miss Maximoff has allowed that to me,” Vision admitted as his head drooped again. The red man lifted his eyes to stare past Natalia at the wall which he no doubt knew Wanda was behind as she watched and confined him.

 

The mournful expression in his eyes gave Natalia pause to think on whether Mystique’s advice to Wanda to guard her heart from caring too much for Vision had been wise. Perhaps they’d taken away something infinitely valuable from the synthezoid, before he had a chance to realise what it was. Perhaps their actions and encouragements had dehumanised him in a way that none of them could understand because at the end of the day the rest of them had been born humans, and he had not. They had been robbed of their humanity at times, but he had just been told that he had never had any by those he was supposed to aspire to assimilating with.     

 

“Mrs Rogers,” Vision said quietly. “May I ask how Sam is doing?”

 

“His operation was successful. His arteries were not damaged and we had some of Doctor Cho’s synthetic tissue on hand. Currently he hasn’t woken from the anaesthesia, but is expected to do so soon,” Natalia told him.

 

“Please apologise on my behalf,” Vision requested. “I would do it myself, but I know it’s not possible at the moment, nor will it be any time soon.”

 

“I’ll pass on the message Vision,” Natalia assured him. “Is there anything you require? Within reason, of course.”

 

“No, thank you,” Vision replied politely.

 

“Thank you for your co-operation,” Natalia said as she rose to leave. She regarded her former teammate for a moment before she allowed some softness into her voice to tell him: “You are a person and family to all of us, Vision. That’s why all of this hurts us so much. Not the fact that you did it, but because someone could do what they did to you to make you do it.”

 

 

Natalia stepped out of the interrogation room and the door closed automatically behind her. As her eyes adjusted to the dim light of the room, she saw that Wanda and Steve had been joined by Bucky and T’Challa who had returned from checking up on Ororo.

 

“We leave for New York as soon as possible,” T’Challa stated. His tone brooked no room for argument, not that any of the occupants of that room would have had any reason to.

 

Natalia would have liked a moment alone with Wanda to evaluate the young woman’s state, but she had stubbornly insisted on sticking to her duty because she was the only one there who was capable of containing Vision and he was still a prisoner. Bucky would keep her company, and that would probably be good for her. Natalia took Steve’s hand in hers and they excused themselves to relieve Pietro’s watch over Sam in the Medical Facility. They’d send Wanda’s twin over to support her, while they waited for their wounded friend to awaken.

 

@>-`-,----

 

“This is so not fair,” Sam whinged groggily as he came to and recognised the couple standing beside his bed. “Every time Steve gets injured he gets a whole host of hot chicks and a special super-hot chick to fawn tearily over him. I just get your unimpressed mugs.”

 

Steve and Clint chuckled at the quip before Steve explained: “There was a married special super-hot chick fawning tearily over you a few minutes ago, but she left to go feed her three month old babies.”

 

“So what’s up? What kind of fucked up are we dealing with? Who threw massive tantrums? What drama did I miss?” Sam struggled to ask in quick succession.

 

“You should be letting your body rest,” Clint chastised.

 

“But we know that you want to be in on the loop, so we’ll tell you. We’re probably going to have to repeat it when you’re more coherent, though,” Steve added. Sam just glared at him disdainfully.

 

“Vision had a control collar put on him by Secretary Ross, because he is regarded as a piece of equipment and not as a person,” Steve explained. “Ross wanted us caught, and when he figured out that he should be able to instruct Vision to do his bidding since he is defined by law as a piece of property and Vis did not comply, he put one of those collars that they had on Wanda on him and programmed him to find and attack us.”

 

“That’s… fucked up,” Sam said. “It’s like they think of Vision as a slave. No worse, because they don’t even acknowledge that he’s alive.”

 

“Yep,” Clint sighed. “What a fucked up lesson to teach about the world and the flaws of humanity.”

 

“A lesson that Vision and your kids are being forced to learn,” Steve mumbled with a glance to Clint.

 

“So what’s the plan?” Sam asked.

 

“We’re going to the UN headquarters in New York. T’Challa called for an emergency special session of the General Assembly. This could be construed as a declaration of war against Wakanda- they attacked the Royal Palace,” Steve told him. “We’re going to… face the music.”

 

“Fuck,” Sam moaned.

 

“Yeah, but you’re staying here,” Clint instructed. “I didn’t keep you from bleeding out to have you pull stitches and undo all the surgeons’ work to save you.”

 

“There is no way in hell that I’m not coming with,” Sam argued fiercely. “I’m thankful for what all of you have done, really thank you. But look at me. This could have happened to one of your kids. Worse could have happened. The people of the world need to see what kind of fucked up shit is happening!”

 

“We’re going to have to argue with doctors again for the millionth time, aren’t we?” Clint replied in resignation. The fire in Sam’s eyes was rare, and both he and Steve knew that their friend would hobble to New York through the jungle and over the sea if he could- Sam would not care that he had never had any kind of serum in his blood. Their friend had such a deeply ingrained sense of justice, that he would not be able to rest until he had achieved his aim. It was a quality of his personality that had been exacerbated after many years in the company of Steve.

 

@>-`-,----

 

“I spoke to Tony and he’ll meet us there. I also got through to Thor and he said he’ll need to see to a few things but he’ll be there as soon as he can,” Natalia explained as her husband came through the door. They’d been assigned a new suite and Natalia had quickly picked through the essential belongings in their old suite in the ruined guest quarters. She was packing to travel. The news network channel silently played scenes of a vehement statement from T’Challa on the television behind her.

 

“We’ve got a few hours to rest,” Steve told her. “We’re taking T’Challa’s jet and the session is scheduled to begin in the afternoon. We’ll need our wits about us, so…”

 

Steve stretched out his arms for her, and Natalia put down the shirt she was folding to walk into the embrace her husband was offering.

 

“The Beans?” Steve asked in a mumble.

 

“Went back to sleep after a good feed. They were really hungry,” Natalia told him as she tugged him over to their cradles. Steve unwound his arms from around his wife to lean over the sides of each cradle and delivered soft kisses to the tops of James and Demelza’s cheeks.

 

“You’re still freaked out,” Steve whispered as he tore his eyes away from their babies to assess his wife. Her expression was too controlled and Steve knew it had to be pretty bad for him to think that about his wife’s manner. If she was hiding from him, then she must have felt like it was too much to deal with. Natalia shrugged noncommittally as her answer and Steve frowned at her. That kind of response indicated she might lash out at him if he pushed her further without giving her a break. Natalia would do anything to avoid tears in dire straits, and that night had been a maelstrom brewed to test her.

 

“I’m going to take a quick shower,” Steve whispered in her ear as he bowed down to hug her. “I love you, Natshechka.”

 

“I love you too,” Natalia replied faintly. Steve could hear the tears seizing control of her voice as it thinned. She did not look him in the eye. If she clung to him, he would stay. But with the slightest nudge she pushed. He’d respect her wishes and give her space, but he’d return. He knew she needed it.

 

Seven minutes later, a clean-scrubbed Steve sauntered out of the en suite with a towel around his hips. The television had been switched off. Natalia was still in the twins’ room. She had seated herself in between the cribs and absently poked at her pursed lips, squishing their fullness with her index finger as she stared at a spot of floor in the corner.  

 

With a pang of yearning, Steve was struck by how much gratitude he had for having his wife in his life. It really was something wondrous. What were the odds that he’d land up with a girl he met in what was essentially a different life in a long passed era that he did not even get to physically traverse through as he left it behind? What were the odds that he’d get so many chances to be with her? What were the odds that she would want and love him too? Yet it happened. She did love him. She was his wife.

 

She was so damn beautiful. Not just the way she looked with her crimson hair curling into loose ringlets that cascaded over her shoulders as she sat there in her pale blue cotton tank top and shorts pyjamas set with cream lace edging. The feel of her soul was beautiful as he interacted with it. She’d given him so much, he could have cried at that moment.

 

Thinking about it deepened the pain he felt for Vision. There were so many things people took for granted. Something about the way that Vision had responded to Natalia’s threat of torture had made Steve realise that part of what Vision would inflict upon himself was the reality of the fact that he’d missed the chance to be loved. Bucky’s report of events had let him know that Vision had entered the building to see Wanda engaged with Bucky carnally. Steve remembered what it had been like to see Natalia with Bruce and although it was nothing as intimate as what Vision had witnessed, Steve had been in pure agony as a result.

 

Steve knew he was fortunate. And damn it he appreciated what he had.   

 

“Hey, do you need me as much as I need you right now?” Steve asked his wife huskily as he stood in the doorway of their bedroom watching her in the adjoining nursery room.

 

Natalia winced and squirmed as she pondered this. Finally she answered: “It would help, I think, but I don’t want to leave the twins.”

 

Steve picked up a baby monitor pebble device, something that T’Challa had developed in preparation for his own child and offered to the Rogers to try out with their little family. It was like a normal baby monitor, but it had the added features of video feed and measured the vital signs of the infants to be monitored as well as basic environmental threat level detection. It helped to have genius friends. Steve gestured the suggested use of the device in his hand and Natalia tensed for a moment before she nodded her agreement decisively. She glanced around for the accompanying monitor pebble and switched it on before she placed it on the bedside table between the two cribs.

 

Natalia stood up and sauntered over to him with careful and deliberate steps. Steve watched her as she drew near and reached around behind her to close the door once she was in their bedroom. He left the door open a crack, knowing that despite his suggestion they would both still feel paranoid if they did not make this concession.

 

“We’ll just have to be quiet,” Steve murmured low into Natalia’s ear. The scent of her was so provocative to his constitution, he found himself twitching under his towel. His wife’s eyes dipped at the jerky movement and she slowly smirked before she returned her green eyes back up to meet his gaze.

 

Steve let his eyes rove over Natalia’s curves. They were standing so close to each other that he had the perfect view down her camisole. He certainly loved it when his wife wore lingerie that gathered and cupped up her cleavage, it reminded him of all the things he liked to do with her that made appreciative use of her full bosom. But he also fucking loved it when her breasts were free of a tight hold under her clothes. The tiny jiggle that bounced through them as she walked did him in. He wanted to strip her bare, make love to her and when she was dazedly sated he would take a seat and sketch her as she lay supine.

 

He ran his left hand down her side and back down under her butt to grope her pert cheek and lifted her up to hold against his body. Natalia’s feet dangled a few inches off the floor as Steve stepped backwards towards the side of the bed. He set her back on her feet and placed the active monitor on the bedside table behind him. He’d wanted to peel his wife’s clothes off of her, but by the time he’d turned his head back to her, Natalia was whipping her blue and cream camisole up over her head.  He didn’t even get a chance at her shorts and panties because she divested herself of those as he gaped in lust at her bust.

 

Natalia climbed up on the bed and tugged her husband closer by the wrist. She was well aware of the fact that she was not back in premium shape and there were things about her body that were changed forever, which having naturally slightly mutated and serum-enhanced DNA seemed to do nothing to improve. But Steve still looked at her like _that_. Steve still looked at her like he was going to languidly devour her with gusto. He looked at her and made her feel as though she were somehow a being so beautiful it was completely natural that he was worshipping in his attentions to her.   

 

Natalia slid her hands up Steve’s arms to his shoulders and leaned forward to kiss and nibble at his Adam’s apple. Steve grunted appreciatively and murmured: “You make me feel alive, Natalia.”

 

“You make me feel alive too, Steve,” Natalia whispered against his throat before she delivered a lick and a nip to his chin.

 

Natalia smoothed her fingertips up Steve’s shoulders to meet at the nape of his neck before clawing her splayed hands slightly and dragging her nails with just enough force to feel the sharpness that contrasted with the softness of her skin down the side of his neck. Her hands met again below the hollow of his throat and she stretched her touch out under the line of his collarbone and back again before she raked down his pectorals, ribs and abdominal muscles slowly, lowering her head to lick at his left nipple with the tip of her tongue and then latching on with a teasing bite. Steve inhaled deeply and tried to fight the shuddering pleasure of his Natalia’s touch. But the twitching, swelling mass between his legs made it quickly apparent that he liked what she was doing by rising up to poke his intentions at her from under his white towel.

 

Natalia kissed soft open mouthed kisses across his pectoral, interspersing them with sensual licks against his skin and worked her way back up to his collarbones to ghost the tip of her nose and her lips over breadth of her Steve’s chest. Her hands moved up from his belly to trace up and then down his obliques.

 

Steve was not idle during this time and ran his hands down her back to cup and kneaded at her bottom. His right hand returned back up her spine to knot in her hair. He tangled a few locks between his fingers and tugged gently so that Natalia lifted her face up to his. Steve lowered his head to cover her mouth with his. He sucked on her top lip and nibbled at it as he broke away, his knowledge that the move sent jolts of pleasure straight down to his wife’s pussy re-confirmed by the whimpering gasp she emitted.

 

Natalia opened her eyes after their kiss only to narrow them at her husband. She accepted the unspoken challenge and dropped her hands back down to her husband’s belly to trace indistinct patterns over his sensitive skin while she attuned her breath with his, letting him feel the heat of it as she exhaled against his sternum.

 

She placed her hands against his hips and sat back down onto her haunches. Natalia took her time visually perusing the lines of her husband’s physique. When she finally returned her gaze to his, she smirked at him crookedly before she tugged hard at the bottom corner of his towel and let it fall to the floor. Steve grinned back at her promisingly and reached out with his right hand to caress her cheek with the back of his knuckles. Natalia closed her eyes as she leaned into the enjoyed touch.

 

When she settled her green gaze back on him again, Natalia darted forward to slurp a kiss over the head of Steve’s throbbing erection. Steve huffed a groan and bit his lip. Natalia’s lush lips were still pressed against his tip and the corners of her mouth were curled up in a tiny smile that told him that his wife knew just how much power she held over him right then. Natalia’s lips parted, letting the warmth of her mouth radiate and drive tingles of pleasure through Steve’s shaft. Slowly, she uncurled her tongue and arched it over her bottom lip. She laved her wet pink flesh against his turgid pink thickness, working a deliberate line down the top of him from the tip of his cock to the root.

 

Steve sucked in a breath through clenched teeth, and dropped his head back to stare at the ceiling so that he could regain control of his urges. His chin dropped forward again and he was met with the sight of his wife silently chuckling at him with her mouth open and her tongue pressed against the underside of his shaft. He narrowed his eyes at her and crooked the corner of his mouth up in half a grin acknowledging her finesse. Natalia focused her eyes on the rod before her, her eyes almost going cross-eyed making Steve snort at her little joke, and then slipped the tip of her tongue underneath his foreskin and swiping the appendage around his girth twice just like how she knew he loved before slurping on his head again and wrapping her right hand around him. Steve stifled another grunt and threaded his fingers in her hair, massaging her scalp.

 

Natalia moaned around him, and Steve drew in a stuttering breath as she swallowed his length, her hand just ahead of her lips. Natalia drew back and let her free left hand wander down to her wetness to play and coat her fingers. She bobbed slowly back and forth until she realised her hand was completely slick. Then she reached up to spread the unguent she had collected to smoothly massage her lover’s ball-sack.

 

“Fuuuuck,” Steve breathed quietly.

 

Natalia flicked her gaze up to his as he watched her. Her fingers gliding forward over his scrotum towards his perineum where she paused and released him from the suction of her mouth. Her tongue licked at his tip as she arched an eyebrow in question.

 

“Nat, if you go there do you honestly think I’ll have any chance of keeping my voice down?” Steve answered darkly. “You know how that makes me holler and grunt.”

 

“Fair enough,” Natalia smirked. She returned to sucking on him hard as she endeavoured to keep fitting as much of him in as she knew she could. Steve whimpered and drew his crimson-haired wife off of him guiding her onto her back and pinning her against the mattress as he caught his breath and slowed his heart-rate.

 

“I want to lick you too, doll. Let me drive a little,” Steve whispered into her neck.

 

He began by kissing all over her face softly, before making his way down her neck. He was careful with her breasts, because he knew they were sensitive- breastfeeding two hungry babies was trying on her skin. Steve held her arms down when she wanted to buck away from the ticklish sensation of his lips and careful tongue against her ribs, and Natalia whispered her gratitude. She always liked the feeling after the need to squirm had been conquered. His hands slid down into the dip of her waist and stayed there as Steve bit the curves of her hips and finally dragged his fingers down after the path of his open lips as they journeyed to her feet.

 

He flipped Natalia over onto her stomach and kissed the back of her knees, making her let out a peep. They stilled, hoping the high-pitched noise would go unnoticed. Noise-cancelling baby sleep-hats were apparently the best thing since the discovery of Vibranium.

 

The couple continued on: Steve nipped at his woman’s thighs while his hands travelled ahead to cup and feel the globes of her heart-shaped ass. He couldn’t resist a bite before he nuzzled his head into the small of her back and then crawled over her to whisper in her ear: “What do you want to do, Natshechka?”  

 

“I want to ride you reverse cowgirl a little I think,” Natalia purred into the sheets. Steve rolled them over to comply with her wishes and Natalia squatted over him. She lowered herself down, humming her pleasure as Steve rumbled his in his chest. He’d reassured Natalia numerous times that birthing twins vaginally had not done cavern-inducing things to her insides. It was a little different, but still so damn good. He loved her anyway, and that heightened everything about their love-making. 

 

Natalia giggled quietly as she adjusted to Steve’s thickness inside of her. “Why the hell did I choose a position where I’m doing bouncing squats after I spent yesterday running up and down hundreds of stairs, sparring with the ex-Winter Soldier and then exerting myself in a real fight?”

 

Steve paused and then dropped his head forwards to snicker into Natalia’s shoulder blade.

 

“I’ll help you,” Steve gasped when he managed to get some kind of control over his mirth. They sniggered silently as Natalia began to bounce with Steve helping her by supporting her hips, but their amusement was soon forgotten as the carnal heat between them began to build. Natalia panted as she glided in a steady rhythm upon her husband. She could give freely to their sexual pursuits, for although her reproductive system seemed to have to returned to that of a normal young woman’s- astounding considering Natalia was technically in her eighties- she had decided to select injectable contraception as her means of birth control. She was considering an IUD, but that would come later. She’d had one period and promptly decided that she did not miss that part of being a fertile woman, but did not want the rigmarole of having to take pills at specific times.

 

“I need more Steve,” Natalia whispered beseechingly. Steve ceased his upward buck into her and stilled his wife’s hips by placing an arm around them. He huffed into her hair before he wrapped both arms around her and got up off the bed. Natalia’s wriggled in his clutch to get a better hold on him and Steve’s cock slipped out of her as he walked them to the dressing table against the wall. He grasped onto her cream-hued left thigh and parted it from her right one. Shifting her so that he had her weight securely again, Steve made use of his wife’s flexibility as he lifted her thigh so that she could place her left foot on the table. Natalia searched instinctively with her right foot for a place to rest and she found it on the side stretcher of the dressing table chair.

 

Steve curled around her to whisper seductively in her right ear: “Look at us in the mirror, Natalia. Watch.”

 

Natalia beheld the wanton sight reflected before her. She was flushed pink, the colour spreading from her chest outwards. Her hair was a crimson tangle and partially obscured Steve’s face as he licked the edge of her ear’s helix. Her rosy nipples were puckered and pebbled, and the swollen state of her breasts had more to do with her arousal that the need to express. Steve’s left arm was wrapped around her middle securing her to him, while the fingers of his right hand parted her nether lips further and teased a circle around her clitoris. Natalia gasped watching the slow taunting of her lover. She whimpered and tried to shift her hips so that she would get some direct contact. He simply chuckled darkly into her hair and caressed his hand back up over her hip and then around her rear before taking a hold of his weeping stiffness, bending a bit, and then slowly slid back up into her as they both watched raptly.

 

“You know how fucking much I love you?” Steve growled in her ear. His Brooklyn accent was thick as the vibrations of his voice trilled against the flesh of her earlobe. “Tell me that you’re mine. I want to give you this and more for the rest of our lives, Natalia.”

 

“I’m yours forever, Steve; and you’re mine eternally,” Natalia replied breathily. Steve flexed his hips and thrust into his lover’s clenching channel.

 

“I’m going to keep you safe. I’ll keep our family safe. I’ll protect you- I promise- ‘til the end and then some,” Steve whispered in agonised pleasure.

 

“There’s no end in sight,” Natalia answered, quelling her own fear at his words. “I trust you. I love you. We have this right here and forever too.” She turned her head to meet Steve’s lips and kissed him with torturous sweetness. Their mouths separated and they gazed deep into each other’s eyes before they both returned their attention to the scene displayed in the mirror.

 

Steve rocked into Natalia, both of them fascinated by the sight of his flesh disappearing into hers. It was a thing for them. They were visual people, Steve especially. Steve’s right hand snaked back around Natalia’s hip to strum and then stroke her button. His touch evolved into a determined rub and his lover’s mouth gaped as she panted desperately. She was so close to bliss. She squeaked a protest when he suddenly pulled out.

 

Natalia was about to snarl rather loudly at her husband when he slipped his fingers into her channel and curled them around to focus his attentions on her g-spot. Natalia reached back to claw at him in surprise and approval. Her whimpering was increasing in volume, and that would not do. So, still keeping her tightly against his torso, Steve brought his left hand up to cup over his wife’s mouth in a bid to silence her. Natalia took the opportunity to bite her pleasure into his palm and Steve grunted. He stepped up his pursuit and it was in seconds that Natalia felt an exquisitely blissful rush accompanied by an excess of wetness gushing from her. Tears streamed from her eyes, and once she could focus her eyes again she saw that she was an absolute mess. Her hair hung over her face and it was obvious that her limbs were limp.

 

But Steve had further plans to carry out. She saw and felt him nudge in again, his path so very slippery. Natalia could not hold herself upright any longer and flopped forward, her hand slamming to brace herself against the table. Steve grunted at the new position and changed his grip to hold her by the hips. He bowed over her to lick up her spine and inquired: “Hard, or more torture?”

 

“Hard,” Natalia rasped.

 

So he pounded into her powerfully as Natalia scrunched her eyes closed and bit her lip to keep herself from wailing in sexual delight. Steve increased his speed and held onto her hips tighter in the pursuit of the edge of his own bliss. Natalia felt she could reach orgasm again if she tried, and so she began to meet Steve’s thrusts with more than her own hips’ rhythm: she squeezed her internal walls in a steady pulse that got them both flung into the depths of ecstasy.           

 

Steve grunted his release into the nape of her neck long and low. They remained as they were for a few minutes as their breathing calmed and their senses attuned back to reality. Steve helped his wife down from against the dressing table and practically rhumbaed with her back to the bed. They fell upon its softness and kissed and stroked each other languidly. Steve broke their embrace once he sensed they were both sated and got up to head to the bathroom for a wet cloth. He returned to wipe his wife’s face, hands and to do away with the stickiness between her legs before he returned to the bathroom to clean himself off.

 

Natalia watched the man she loved saunter into the bathroom and thought a small thank you to Dr Erskine and the powers that be for the delicious view of his rump before she rolled up and anxiously went to check up on their twins. She poked her head into the room and saw that they were still there, safe and breathing. Satisfied, she turned around to find her husband watching her with an amused but understanding smile. He held out his arms for her and she strode up to him to place her hand on his chest and pushed him onto the bed before she clambered on top of him and nestled into his chest enjoying his strong arms around her.

 

“I love you, Natalia,” Steve mumbled into her messy hair.

 

“I love you, Steve,” Natalia replied in a muffled whisper against his chest. Exhausted and drugged by endorphins, the couple was able to find repose and dreamless satiating sleep.

 

 

@>-`-,----

 

“We should totally just join Team Black Panther,” Sam commented as he sat admiring the interior of T’Challa’s jet. It was faster than a Quinjet and it had all the luxurious trappings befitting a king. It certainly paid off being friends with the richest man in the world. They were on their way to the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning in Westchester, New York, where they would leave Laura, Cooper, Lila, Nathan, James and Demelza under the protection of the X-men while the rest of them went to the UN General Assembly with T’Challa. Ororo was to stay in Wakanda, as it had been deemed too risky to travel at the stage of pregnancy she was in by her doctors. She was not pleased about that, having already been distressed due to evacuating underground even though she was acutely claustrophobic, and Wakanda was experiencing a little more electric weather than usual. “What? I know all of y’all were thinking the same thing.”

 

It was an hour into their flight, and Sam just had to say it. He needed to break the tension in the group. He was good at that. It was normal for him to do so, even if awkward odd things came out of his mouth in the process. He didn’t mind if his friends could be distracted from the funk that they were all determined to drown themselves in. The only person who usually rowed that boat along with him was Clint, but he was busy soothing Nathan back to sleep.

 

Steve and Natalia were huddled together playing quietly with their babies. Laura was dozing with the two older children in her brood. Pietro was impatiently tapping his feet and trying not to glare at Bucky or smirk at his sister teasingly. Bucky and Wanda were wrapped up in each other, but Wanda’s attention was far away focused on the cargo hold where Vision was imprisoned. The Wakandans were not going to trust him to have enough control to keep his mind free of influence if he was susceptible to computer programming, even if it was administered by collar. T’Challa was working on his speech to appeal to the UN members for justice and apparently he was having a hard time with it because he kept growling in frustration and scrapping what he had written to start over from the beginning.

 

“Do you guys think I could use my Falcon pack instead of a wheelchair?” Sam asked casually. He felt the eyes of everyone in the cabin land on him. A tense moment of incredulity passed before Wanda snorted and the group let out chuckles. “I’m serious. Aren’t there stairs all over the UN?”

 

“There’s wheelchair access,” Natalia informed him. “And there’s no way you could operate your wings without pulling stitches. Or have you forgotten the amount of total body control you need to manoeuvre through the air and against gravity?”

 

“Do you think Professor X would let me borrow his hover chair?” Sam asked. “Or is that just too much?”

 

“Dude, how do you ever get a date?” Pietro marvelled.

 

“He doesn’t,” Bucky chortled.

 

“He gets them, but Sam’s an acquired taste. Hey, do you want me to set you up? I know a few people who might be just up your alley,” Natalia grinned with impish delight in her eyes.

 

“No!” Sam protested. “Your set ups are awful. I had to bail Steve out of way too many disaster dates to be fooled into thinking you should be trusted with any kind of match-making.”

 

“Hey, my subconscious was sabotaging my efforts so I could allow myself time to get out of denial and realise that the best match for Steve was me,” Natalia shot back with a smirk.

 

“You set him up with a dude,” Sam stated bluntly. “And you had to go and pick a fireman from the one precinct that always gets hit whenever there’s some kind of Avengers-level trouble hitting Manhattan. We can’t even go to certain coffee shops and shawarma stands anymore on the off-chance that we run into Dave again, because we _always_ run into him and your husband feels massively guilty that he may have led the guy on because he thought you’d introduced him to a potential friend and not a potential romantic partner and they hit it off. Do you know what kind of panic he was in? He made me go with him to the fire station to apologise to the poor guy after that catastrophe. The whole damn company of the firehouse was there. I’m pretty sure they all hate us, even though Steve brought flowers.”

 

“Hey, can you blame me? Steve’s a master of the surreptitious scope-out. I never once caught him checking me out before, y’know, everything that led to this. And he seemed to prefer hanging out with guys. I had to see if that was preferable to him,” Natalia countered with playful nonchalance. “Besides I talked to Dave and he thought it was funny, and then told me to hurry up and ask Steve out because he talked about me, Harleys and baseball the whole time. Also, I’ve made it up to Steve many times over.”

 

“Don’t you two dare be cute and coupley!” Sam scolded as Natalia and Steve turned to each other to rub noses and peck each other on the lips in a manner they knew would irritate their friend. They turned back to him with matching smirks and Sam groaned his resignation.  

 

“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask: What ever happened with Maria, Sam?” Laura suddenly piped up. She glanced around at the stunned expressions of the people around her. “Clint is a gossip. You all already know that.”

 

“She’s a disconnected workaholic who Saran-wrapped my car to two overdue parking meters after our first big argument, which was over my George Foreman Grill. I also think I did not pass the father-like Nick Fury Grilling that I was subjected to without any prior warning,” Sam said tensely.

 

“Cling-film: that’s a great idea. No real property damage and if she did it right it wouldn’t be traced to her and she’d avoid vandalism charges,” Natalia commented thoughtfully.

 

“That’s what you got out of this?” Sam retorted incredulously. “I couldn’t find my car for three days and had a fine of over four and a half thousand bucks! Tow truck dudes didn’t even want to untangle my car and impound it. I don’t even know how anyone could measure the meter charge and not disrupt all the Saran-wrap.”

 

“What’s Saran-wrap?” an unexpected voice asked. The entire group flinched in surprise when their eyes landed on their sudden guests.

 

“Prince Loki, how the hell are you on this plane?” King T’Challa asked through clenched teeth as he endeavoured to remain polite to another royal.

 

Loki and Mystique had materialised out of thin air to be seated on two open seats opposite Laura and her children. Lila and Cooper had woken up with all the commotion and looked over at the new passengers. Cooper waved hello and went back to sleep while Lila rubbed her eyes and sat upright. Loki in the company of Thor and Mystique proved to be rather irresistible without brainwashing anyone, much to the chagrin of Clint whose children had been taken with suave and badass Uncle Loki. Clint just knew Loki was lording that fact over him, although he never said anything. He just looked at him a certain annoying way, and smirked tiny aggravating smirks.

 

“I happened to be on Earth and my brother asked if I could check in on you while he finishes up his business back home,” Loki explained. “Interrupted a date, but Mystique said she would not mind seeing her niece and nephew.”

 

“We were impersonating celebrity couples and giving out mean autographs,” Mystique grinned. “We had to make an exit from a fan convention anyway.”

 

“You’re both blue,” Sam pointed out the obvious. Loki hadn’t bothered with hiding his frost giant heritage.  

 

“Yes and you lot are shades of brown and pink with hints of green,” Loki replied. “Now I assume that you’re going to go in there demanding to be left alone, etcetera and for your status as free Earth citizens to be restored, correct?”

 

“Yes,” Natalia answered. “You have something to say on the subject? Though I cannot think why you would. Nor do I think your accompanying us further would have a bolstering effect on our suit. If your true identity is discovered then we lose credibility. Asgard promised that you’d be locked up. Belief in Thor’s word would be damaged.”

 

“Well, I’m not subject to the laws of Earth and according to intergalactic and inter-dimensional law Earth is still a protectorate of Asgard as we are the last advanced race to have had an influence on your culture. Thor’s frequent interference in your planets fate strengthens our position. The official relationship between our realms had been about to expire within the next century, but Thor landing up here and coming to your aide negated that. Now things have been set back one and a half Earth millennia unless you can achieve reliable intergalactic travel derived from your own home-grown technology, and not any alien derivatives.” Loki grinned at them, though it had less of a snarky effect than he’d intended because Lila had managed to get around the back of him and had started to braid his hair with Mystique silently offering suggestions on how to proceed.  

 

“Now why I’m here is just in case my brother cannot make it,” Loki continued. “He’s quite worried about what could possibly happen to Captain Puerto Rico’s best friend over there.” Loki gestured to Bucky.

 

“Captain Puerto Rico,” Clint griped in a whisper. “Why didn’t I think of that!”

 

“You’re telling me,” Bucky mumbled in reply. Steve glared at them both before returning his focus to Loki. He would not say anything about how Mystique already called him ‘Capitán Puerto Rico’ in her texts and typed them in Spanish. The picture she’d used for his profile on her phone was one where he wore that washing-powder-advert-bright version of his Captain America uniform that he’d worn when the Avengers first assembled. She’d taken the last weekly Snickers crown and she had the most wins. He wasn’t about to reinforce her reputation.

 

“What impact could Asgard’s opinion have on the fate that humans decide for me?” Bucky sighed. He did not expect anything to come of this that would be workable, and he certainly wasn’t going to go live on another planet away from Wanda, Steve, Natalia and all the people he cared about no matter what Natalia had said she would pull off to keep him out of prison.

 

“My brother would like to grant you Asgardian citizenship and make you our diplomatic representative on Earth,” Loki expounded. “You would no longer be beholden to Earth Laws, and if they tried to prosecute you Asgard could take Earth to court. Earth would be at a distinct advantage because it would be seen as a junior civilization and so its opinions would not hold as much weight, and any Earth representatives would not be proficient enough in Intergalactic Law to hope for a win. They simply would not have the time to study it in time for a trial, never mind the fact that they would not have access to legal knowledge because of their status as an emerging civilization that has yet to achieve the requirements for involvement in intergalactic affairs.”

 

“What?” Bucky spluttered.

 

“That would work?” Wanda demanded.

 

“Yes, and unless someone just decides to shoot you or whatever, you could attempt to live a boring normal human life,” Loki shrugged. “This is merely a failsafe measure my brother is offering in case some of the people you are going to deal with, and who claim to be sentient, don’t understand the concept of what it means to be a prisoner of war under mind-control.”

 

It was a sliver of hope, but the group knew that they had to use this in their arsenal. Whoever was so vehemently against them would likely use Bucky’s status as a distraction from the attacks on them and the crimes committed upon Wakanda. 

 

@>-`-,----  

 

“Erik, I’m- Dad! Just listen for once! I’m okay. Pietro’s okay. Everyone is okay. We know what we’re doing. Even Raven’s here and she doesn’t think it’s a stupid idea,” Wanda hissed over the phone at her biological father. She was standing at the window of an office in the Wakandan Consulate in New York. The vulnerability of her position bothered her boyfriend and he tried to alert her to his objections but she was too immersed in her phone call to do more than wave a dismissal as she scanned the road and buildings before her. “I know what it looks like on the news… No, you don’t need to speak to Raven; you should just take my word for it… We were asleep in a guarded palace, Dad, how were we supposed to have been waiting for this?”

 

“Well Wanda wasn’t sleeping all alone,” Pietro called mischievously in Sokovian as he zipped in and out past his sister. Wanda froze and it was obvious that Erik was equally silent on the other end of the line.

 

“Pietro!” Wanda shrieked. A snarl of words could be heard coming from the cellular phone and Wanda turned her attention back to her biological father. “Pietro’s just being full of it, Dad. No you can’t attempt to do that to Vision- Vision’s my friend, Dad; James is my boyfriend… James Barnes… Yes, he used to be the Winter Soldier… If you can do that to vibranium then don’t expect me to ever forgive you for doing that to him… He’s a gentleman- No, I’m not bringing him to meet you; we’re about to walk into the UN General Assembly and possibly change the course of Earth’s history… Fine, we’ll talk later. No, I’m not passing the phone to Raven, she said she knows what you’ll be like and she’s not in the mood. Yes, we’ll be careful. Fine… almost love you. Here’s Pietro.”

 

Pietro came zooming back in and took the cellular phone off his sister and went through the same barrage of questions, though he only answered with grunts of various notes. Wanda rushed into Bucky’s embrace across the room and hugged him tightly before turning her head up to him for a chaste kiss. Wanda and Pietro had finally agreed to spend time with Erik, their father, over Hanukah and they had managed to develop some semblance of a familial relationship. They now answered his calls and sometimes called him themselves. 

 

Pietro glanced over at the couple and smirked before he answered Erik in Sokovian: “Yasha’s a good guy. Honestly, your reputation with women’s worse. I’m your son, I look like this, I know what I’m talking about… They also make a good team. They brought down Vision together, and fast… He’s not a Class Four Mutant, but he’s probably a Mutate if you trust the DNA analysis… No not Gamma. I don’t know, probably the same rays as Steve… Steve Rogers. But isn’t it the gene that- What does that even matter, Erik? Besides, don’t you want someone who feels genuinely for Wanda and can also protect your daughter? The Winter Soldier stuff will be handy for that.”

 

Pietro wandered off still talking to Erik Lehnsherr, leaving his sister alone with Bucky. The couple had only a few moments before Steve came in, having just finished getting ready. He had a navy blue suit in a high yarn-count wool on, with a lighter blue shirt on underneath and a scarlet silk tie. His wife had helped him pick out just the right combination that would not be too overt, yet still provide the American public with the semiotic reassurance of his commitment to his nationality.

 

“Any word on Vision’s check-up?” Wanda asked before another protective male in her life brought up anything about her relationship that would make her feel awkward.

 

“Tony said that the diagnostics for the third battery of tests are almost done, and everything is still coming back clear,” Steve informed her. “Vision looks like he doesn’t have any other devices or programs attached to him. Tony still wants to look at the collar, though. T’Challa refuses to send it over, so Tony’ll meet up with us here before we all leave and take a quick look at it.”

 

Steve looked pointedly at his best and oldest friend. Bucky exhaled slowly.

 

“I’ll be fine. It’ll be for the best if we do this now,” Bucky said.

 

“How is it for the best?” Wanda asked. “The situation needs time for you guys to work through it carefully so that neither of you says something without thinking and causing further rash reactions.”

 

“Wanda’s right, Yasha,” Natalia interjected from the door. She had finished getting ready too, and was dressed in a tailored white pencil skirt suit. Tanzanite earrings and red-soled white Louboutins completed her outfit. Her crimson hair was pinned up into an elegant braided bun. “You and Tony need to talk this out carefully. Unfortunately we don’t have the luxury of time, yet we need to be truly united on this.” 

 

“There’s too much shit happening in one day,” Bucky grumbled. They had been attacked, flown to Professor Xavier’s Institute to drop off Laura, Cooper, Lila, Nathan, James and Demelza to be watched over by Wolverine and the X-men. Clint changed his mind last minute after seeing Lila’s tears and the rest of his family’s distraught expressions when they were about leave, and decided to stay and look after everybody too. Then the rest of the group hurried to the Wakandan Consulate in New York, with Wanda and Natalia making a quick detour to drop Vision off at the Avengers Tower and left him in the care of Tony. Soon they would be leaving for the UN Headquarters so that T’Challa could address the General Assembly and the fugitives could attempt to regain their freedom.

 

“You’ve completed more arduous feats in less time, Bucky,” Natalia reminded him. Steve nodded in agreement. He may not have witnessed them all, but he knew of quite a few of the incredible things his friend had done over the years. “Also, if you still plan on joining this ‘cult’ we call the Avengers, then you need to get used to doing a crap load of impossible things in small allotments of time.”

 

Bucky responded to Natalia’s smirk with a wry one of his own.

 

“It just doesn’t sit completely right with me, this Asgardian diplomat thing. I feel I should face the consequences of everything,” Bucky admitted. Next to him Wanda tensed up, and tightened her hold on his hand.

 

“Bucky, none of it ever sits right,” Natalia told him expressly. “But what good will it do for you to sit in a jail moping for the rest of your life? You didn’t choose to be what you were. They didn’t even allow you to die when you resisted. You’ve made the effort to regain control of your life and be who you actually are. And yes, your body committed those atrocities; but wouldn’t it be a better use of your existence to be free to do good? I know that one can never truly atone for what we did, and what we still have to do from time to time. But I also know that I’m not wrong in doing my best to help protect people who deserve to go about living normal lives safely.”

 

Bucky scrutinised Natalia seriously as he pondered her words. Natalia held his gaze steadfastly, and Steve was glad that Natalia’s claim that she knew how to ‘wrangle her boys’ was proving to be true once more. He could see that Bucky would give in to her reasoning and trust in their plan. Steve had the infectious passion for swaying people, but Natalia had the finesse that always worked. Words were sometimes difficult for him, so he was relieved that his wife knew how to use them to calm his friend in a situation where he was sure that a conversation made up of sarcastic jibes, manly grunts and a few heartfelt words would not necessarily be enough to cut it. They were there to protect their _whole_ _family_ after all.

 

A knock on the door alerted them to the presence of a consular aide, who informed them that Tony was there and waiting to meet with them. The little group shared glances among each other before they steeled themselves in preparation for the anticipated confrontation.

 

Natalia was the first to meet with Tony. He was standing at the window and turned around to smile sadly at his friend. Natalia returned the smile and strode over to hug him.

 

“Does Steve know you grope other men like this?” Tony chuckled as Natalia turned their hug into a quick but thorough pat-down.

 

“The last thing I need today Tony is another melodramatic turn of events,” Natalia chided him in jest. “If you freak out and go after Bucky, then Wanda will get mad, and if she loses it then her biological father will no doubt hear about it from gossipy sources and let’s just say that considering the fact that you are _IRON_ -man, you don’t want him to be mad at you.”

 

“Are you trying to tell me that Wanda’s real dad is Magneto?” Tony questioned incredulously. “Why the hell have I missed all the cool surprises?”

 

“Do you really want me to answer that?” Natalia asked him wryly. Her eyebrow arched as she finished her search and patted him on the shoulder to declare him safe. “Steve wants to say a quick ‘hi’, before you meet with Bucky. We don’t have much time for everything, but we want to have a start.”

 

“Well I’ve had a cooling off period of ten months. I think I’ll be okay,” Tony replied.

 

“Hi,” Steve said from the door. He ambled in awkwardly as Tony and Natalia turned their attention to him.

 

“Hi,” Tony replied just as awkwardly.

 

“How are you?” Steve asked woodenly.

 

“Not as mad as I was the last time we met in person,” Tony replied tightly. “How are you?”

 

“You two have spoken over the phone, y’know,” Natalia drawled. She nudged Tony towards her husband. Steve responded by holding out his hand for Tony to shake. Tony stared at his estranged friend’s hand and slowly lifted his hand up to take it.

 

“Steven,” Natalia hissed in warning.

 

Steve rolled his eyes and grabbed Tony’s hand before yanking him into a hug. Tony tensed before relaxing into the bro-hug.

 

“My wife said we have to hug it out if we’re going to be all awkward,” Steve grumbled in Tony’s ear.

 

“You’re so whipped, aren’t you?” Tony chuckled. He patted his friend on the back before he pulled away. “Congratulations on… a crap load of things: Getting the girl, knocking up the girl, marrying the girl, surviving witnessing childbirth, surviving childbirth at Nat’s side.”

 

Steve snorted his amusement and thumped Tony on the back. His expression turned serious before he spoke again: “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what I knew. I didn’t know how to handle it myself. Having the S.H.I.E.L.D clearance that I did allowed me access to a lot of things. I found out Peggy had ensured that protocol on the off-chance… and it came true. I am alive. There’s a lot of things, but that’s one of the things that burned brightly in my mind and I didn’t know how to tell you. I know I should have told you long ago. Can you forgive me for that?”

 

“If you can forgive the blind rampage I was in forcing us onto this path,” Tony answered. “I acted out of fear and guilt. Fear of feeling guilty and what would happen to my immortal soul, everyone else’s immortal souls and all that jazz. I was losing everything that I had tried to build with good intentions. Then, everything I did made me land up practically chucking them away.”

 

“Can we still be friends?” Steve asked.

 

“Weren’t we already family?” Tony replied with a small smile.

 

“Yeah: brothers,” Steve agreed with a grin.

 

“I was thinking more along the lines of annoying first cousins who don’t have to see each other every day,” Tony quipped.

 

They chuckled together before the sombre expression from earlier returned to Steve’s features and he asked: “Do you want to meet with Bucky? Can you?”

 

“I do. I think it’s time,” Tony replied as he released a shaky breath.

 

“Yasha,” Natalia called as she headed to the closed door and opened it to stick her head out into the ante-chamber before she repeated the nickname. A brown-haired man who looked more like the sepia pictures of Bucky Barnes that Howard Stark kept framed in his den along with others of Steve Rogers and the other Howling Commandoes, than the grungy terrifying Winter Soldier stepped in. Bucky was dressed in a dark grey suit with a black shirt underneath and a silver tie. He seemed anxious, but he kept his regard steadily on Tony.

 

“I’d like it if we talked alone,” Tony requested firmly. Steve and Natalia glanced at each other, and Tony sensed that some kind of couple-communication was going in that look. He realised he really should have picked up on that ages ago. It was about as obvious as Natalia Romanova would ever be in her behaviour and it was not unusual from what he remembered of the last six months that the team had been together. It was now no wonder that she didn’t mind the moniker Mrs Natalia Rogers.

 

Bucky nodded his agreement to Natalia and Steve, and the couple left the two men alone. They stood staring at each other for a minute before Tony took a seat in an armchair and James Barnes did the same in one opposite.

 

“I know I can never say or do anything to make up for what I took from you, from so many people, but I want you to know that I’m truly sorry for what I did. If I could have stopped, I would have. I knew what was happening. I always did. That’s the fucked up thing about it all. But they defeated me in that way. I wish I had been stronger, more determined to die even, but…” Bucky apologised.

 

Tony gulped. His throat felt painfully dry even though he’d had a whole bottle of water on the way to the consulate.

 

“I don’t know what to say to you,” Tony confessed. “But knowing it was you makes me understand how all those people who had someone taken from them due to the weapons I used to develop feel when they see me. I still have anger, though the brunt of it has fizzled some. I’m probably not going to hurl myself at you, but it’s something that I had to work on to achieve. My mother was- I had the best relationship in my life with her, and I don’t understand why she as a bystander had to be taken. I know I should feel something about my father, but all emotions around him as a topic have been depleted from me. I just want to know why it is that you couldn’t fight something that you said you didn’t want to do.”

 

Bucky inhaled deeply and mulled over the words he could choose so that what he wanted to say would come out right.

 

“I fought the programming several times, and broke through it. It was a while before they had me completely and utterly under their control. Towards the end of the Cold War was when they had had enough of my defiance and aimed to kill everything inside me. Before they took pleasure in knowing that I was screaming inside my own head, but couldn’t do anything to deviate from the orders they gave me. In the beginning, I could almost get away from them, except I was driven by the programming to return. I only managed to pull free enough to try running once. I- the aftermath is still a blacked out period for me. The telepath that helped me get rid of the triggers that I was programmed with said it’s too volatile and traumatic to shed light on that bit of my life at this time. I’m not… strong enough for it.

 

“But, I know what they did all the other times to test if I was wholly compliant to their will. Once I was calibrated, they would give me a test. At first it would just be one of the HYDRA minions who were incapable of doing their job satisfactorily. But then, when they had affiliated themselves with the Red Room, they”-Bucky’s voice became hoarse and he had to take a moment to breathe- “I would have to execute the Red Room trainees who didn’t make the cut. They kept making new batches and they’d all have to go through the same thing Natalia went through, but so very few of them survived. If there was one who was injured and hadn’t been killed off by her peers, and was deemed too burdensome by her trainers to keep investing in they kept her aside as a means to test my obedience. I had to kill them as efficiently as I could. The first one, she was only about five. She looked so much like my youngest sister…

 

“No matter what Steve and Nata say, or what the world decides, or even what Wanda chooses to believe that I am and can be; I will always remember that I wasn’t strong enough to not allow myself to be _their_ monster.”

 

The silence in the room was buzzing with emotion; and for the first time, Tony felt empathy for Bucky. He felt true sympathy.

 

“I suppose then, you wouldn’t mind avenging in their memory or on behalf of anyone else who was cruelly victimised? You’d be there too, if the public needs for you to be? Some days, that’s the only reason I can stand to still be breathing,” Tony enquired with understanding.

 

“I’d do everything in my power to make sure other people don’t have to experience the kind of pain I did, or the kind of pain I had to inflict,” Bucky guaranteed him with a weak smile.

 

“I think I could forgive you one day, Bucky,” Tony confessed soberly.

 

“Thank you for that,” Bucky replied quietly. “I couldn’t ask it for myself, though I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I don’t think I’ll ever earn forgiveness. But, Steve needs for us to all get along as best as we can. So does Natalia. The kids especially need it.”

 

“Yeah it wouldn’t do to have me, one of their legal guardians, fighting with their godfather, now would it?” Tony smiled. “Hopefully we can navigate this shit-storm out into the clear because I wanna meet the little Beans.”

 

“They’re ridiculously cute,” Bucky chuckled. “And we’re all preparing a training schedule to create the worst kind of troublemakers to torment Steve.”

 

“Just Steve and not Nat?” Tony asked curiously.

 

“Do you honestly think Natalia would stand for any kind of nonsense from anyone? Not even her children will be exempt from that infamous glare of hers, though they’ll probably only get a drastically watered-down version of it,” Bucky reasoned.

 

“Well, sign me on then,” Tony declared with a devious grin. “I’ve been stocking up on ideas for years now.”

 

Just then Wanda slipped into the room. She was dressed in a plum shift dress that complimented her colouring beautifully.

 

“Hello Miss Maximoff,” Tony greeted with a warm smile. “You and I will have to have our heart to heart after all of this- if you’ll allow me an audience. I’ve got a lot to make up to you.”

 

“We’ll get through it all, Tony, even if I have to warp probabilities to achieve it,” Wanda smiled. “But let’s get to the UN first and do what we do best: stand up for what we believe is right.”

 

“Hey, somebody said Thor was coming,” Tony commented. “Where is he?”

 

“Oh Loki’s here,” Wanda revealed casually. “He said he might have to impersonate Thor if Thor doesn’t make it in time.”

 

“Should we be okay with that?” Tony asked cautiously.

 

“Probably not, but Raven said our paranoia is boring,” Wanda shrugged as she sat down on the arm of the chair that Bucky occupied and squeezed his right shoulder with a hand.

 

“Raven…?” Tony enquired whirling his wrist in a circle gesturing a request for more information.

 

“Oh, Raven’s Mystique. She’s Nata’s older sister,” Wanda filled Tony in. Tony’s eyes went wide.

 

“Did I miss everything?” Tony cried in exasperation.

 

“Pretty much,” Wanda nodded thoughtfully.

 

“Argh!” Tony grunted in exasperation. “Just tell me how the hell you have two flesh arms, Bucky, and then everyone please lay off the surprise reveals to me for the day.”

 

“T’Challa gave me a prosthetic arm that’s a vibranium skeletal structure surrounded by lightweight flesh that’s a mixture of robotics and extremely hardy synthetic materials that he has forbidden me to tell you about. He wants you to ask him,” Bucky said. “The skin is something a Doctor Helen Cho whipped up after Natalia and Steve had a very persuasive conversation with her. She did insist on meeting me first. I had to flirt a little, but I wasn’t about to have all Steve and Natalia’s work be for nothing and then endure Steve glaring at me disappointedly for a month or something.”

 

Bucky raised his left hand which had a gunmetal-grey ring on the middle finger. “The ring I’m wearing triggers a vibranium armour brace that T’Challa developed for me. It sort of looks like my old metal arm when it’s triggered, but I think it works better. It’s like the cladding rips out of my arm like Wolverine’s claws in a way. I’d show you, but I’d rip my suit, so it’ll have to wait until after.”

 

“I’m seriously jealous of T’Challa right now,” Tony grumbled. “You know I’m going to ask you about a million ways I could improve on the design, right?”

 

“I’ve been warned,” Bucky grinned.

 

“Oh but you have to quickly come see the collar before we go,” Wanda remembered.

 

“Let’s do that then,” Tony agreed.

 

The trio made their way to T’Challa’s office where he was going over his speech with Steve and Natalia, while Loki and Mystique perused his books in the background. Sam sat next to Pietro, as the younger man lounged casually on the brown leather chesterfield sofa texting away on his phone. After a small freak out about Sam’s injury, which Natalia had forgotten to tell Tony about, something which could probably be attributed to fatigue, Tony greeted everyone else properly. The lessened tension between the goateed man and Bucky was a huge relief to all.

 

T’Challa brought out the collar that had been used on Vision. It had been kept in a cushioned black case, and Wanda floated it out of the packaging with her powers. It was at that point that Loki’s attention was piqued and he came closer to examine the object.

 

“Oh… fuck,” Loki uttered flatly.

 

“What does that reaction mean?” Tony asked worriedly.

 

“That’s definitely not human technology,” Loki pointed out. “You can touch it with your hands but don’t… press anything.”      

 

“Where’s it from?” Natalia demanded decisively. “We already suspect extra-terrestrial or extra-dimensional being involvement regarding the orchestration of events that have occurred. Who is it?”

 

“People who really should not be messing with humans, just like Asgardians are not supposed to be messing with Midgardians,” Loki responded. “But Eternals wouldn’t- unless- it fucking couldn’t be? If he’s involved then… I need to speak to Thor.”

 

“What?” The entire group yelled at him.

 

“I can’t just tell you,” Loki sneered. “There are consequences to actions and I’ve learned some lessons about when to blab and when not to. Really, I have to talk to Thor before I once again find myself in the middle of a load of utter nonsense.”

 

“You instigated most of that prior, so-called nonsense,” Tony pointed out.

 

“You Midgardians nit-pick too much,” Loki declared with a wave of his hand, annoying all of his companions greatly- except his girlfriend who enjoyed a bit of chaos.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Urgh! I had to wrestle with so many plotty things that had to be somewhat logical. I don’t know if it works but there it is. The chapter was actually meant to be longer, but I decided that ± twelve thousand words were enough for one chapter. That was a nightmare to edit. I yelled at myself several times. 
> 
> The alien stuff is what I could try to piece together from the various Marvel Universes and also from applying theories on how humanity would be legally obliged to interact when encountering extra-terrestrial sentient beings in reality. The latter was actually quite difficult to research and I have come to the conclusion that humanity as a whole is so not ready for anything like that at all. 
> 
> Also, Surprise: Lemon curd filling sort of in the middle there! Is it weird that I was feeling ‘smut-pressure’ since so much excellent smut has been posted in our fandom recently?
> 
> I’m exhausted (Laughs deliriously).


	26. Sometimes You Just Have To Trudge Through The Mondays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everybody, greetings from a country whose government suddenly decided to start proceedings to withdraw from the ICC and whose citizens are asking WTF once more. 
> 
> I was wondering why on Earth it was so difficult for me to get into writing this chapter. Then I remembered that I haven’t had Snickers or Nutella in ages… I keep dipping into bleak moods. Damn it, why can’t I be one of those people who stays their optimum jeans size without ridiculous amounts of cardio?! Ugh, I feel like lying on the floor on my stomach, but I’m supposed to be training myself to fall asleep on my back for when I get my ear helix (and possibly daith) pierced. I’m so hangry (hungry + angry) and sangry (sad + hungry) and I really can’t wait until I get used to this reduced sugar existence because I feel like I really need to eat a whole box of choc-chip cookies. 
> 
> Then when I actually got into the zone, a huge storm blew up and the power went out. I could type for a few hours but then my laptop battery died. I actually wrote down little bits of darkness by candlelight because I didn’t want to forget them! Having black candle votives looks cool, but does nothing to actually illuminate by the way. Anyhoo, as soon as the power returned I got straight back into it. 
> 
> Prepare for some serious dramatic licence concerning UN protocol, because although I read up on it (I now have a handbook on the General Assembly in PDF form on my laptop), it’s not particularly conducive to story-telling. And it’s a little boring. And takes a very long time most of the time. 
> 
> I really hope this makes sense.

 

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Twenty Six

 

Sometimes You Just Have To Trudge Through The Mondays

 

“You look broken-hearted,” Natalia remarked as she observed Wanda. The two women were in the drawing room of the Wakandan Consulate waiting for everyone to finish their last minute preparations before they headed to the UN Headquarters.

 

“I’m just disappointed,” Wanda sighed as she fixed her hair in front of a mirror that was hung over the fireplace.

 

“Isn’t that the same thing?” Natalia countered. Wanda turned to her with a resigned smile and sat carefully on the arm of a sofa. She was consciously avoiding wrinkling her dress. “Listen Wanda, I need your head to be in the game today. I know that this has been very hard on you, but we’re stuck with a whole bunch of hotheads who do things without thinking. We both have tempers, but we have infinitely more control over our reactions than the lugheads we’re saddled with.”

 

Wanda snorted and nodded her head in agreement.

 

“We’ve got an objective to achieve, and we have to keep everything from turning out like last time. Except this time we’ve got to get the majority of the world on our side- or at least their governments,” Natalia elucidated. “There are people being manipulated and we still don’t know who the puppet-masters are. I’m sure we can expect the puppets to jangle and dance before us enthusiastically. I know it’s not the most ethical thing, but if needs be will you step in to calm things down before we have the Assembly erupting into fisticuffs like it’s some parliament where the members are so bored and disgruntled they leap at the chance to fight like teenagers just for some excitement?”

 

“I thought it went without saying,” Wanda smirked.

 

“I’m going to have a quick word with T’Challa,” Natalia announced. Wanda agreed that she should. Every time that T’Challa had to speak at any UN gathering over the past year, it was in consequence of a wrong that had been made against his land and countrymen. Ororo had confessed to Natalia that she was worried about the strength her husband’s continued faith in the UN wavering.

 

T’Challa was just about ready to go when Natalia was admitted to the ante-room of his den by one of the female warriors of the Wakandan Royal Guard. He had dressed in a suit made of the finest weave of traditional Wakandan fabric printed with a gold, green and blue pattern over a black shirt. He had his ceremonial leopard skin sash on as well as his gold and black diamond crown which was made up of the intertwining forms of snarling leopards. The whole ensemble was T’Challa’s small ‘fuck you, you better remember that I’m an African King and the richest man in the world’ gesture. Although the tailored cut was western, T’Challa was not about to blend in with the greys and drab colours that were meant to denote ‘authority’ that had to be listened to. Natalia loved it.

 

“Are you ready for this?” Natalia asked.

 

“I’m worried that I’m going to miss the birth of my firstborn all because some dickheads decided to attack my home with robots,” T’Challa answered truthfully.

 

“Bringing out the curse words. I see you’re suitably vexed,” Natalia remarked with a nod. “Our opponents will be ruthless and will try to undermine you at any chance they get. They will go so far as to insidiously imply antiquated notions of superiority. You will want to head-butt them in the groin- trust me I speak from experience.”

 

“I will have a handle on it,” T’Challa answered with determined calm. “I am enraged by the fact that they have already insinuated that implied superiority by ignoring my country’s sovereignty and invading our territory with the aim to exert violence upon citizens and my guests. I am livid that they destroyed centuries of history in their assault upon my palace which destroyed priceless artefacts. I am beyond anger that they threatened the life of my wife and child. But I have learned that the blind rage I had when we began this journey is what our hidden opponents want. The only way we win is to not play into their hands. The only way we win is through unity, and I have every intention of widening our unity against the real enemy.”

 

“Well said,” Natalia mused. “I look forward to your address. I’ll go text Ororo that she doesn’t have to worry about posting your bail again. As long as you don’t run the puppets of our _real enemy_ down and attempt to maul them when we find out who they are, I think we’ll be cool.”

 

T’Challa grinned at Natalia and offered her his arm and escorted her out to the drawing room where Steve and Bucky had joined Wanda. An aide notified T’Challa of a call from Ororo and he excused himself to take it before they were scheduled to leave.  Natalia joined Steve and pressed a light kiss to his lips and wiped off the imprint of her lipstick while she ran through a list of things Steve had to remember. He was starting to show the signs of nervousness he let slip when he had something overwhelming to do. 

 

“You two look presidential,” Mystique remarked dryly running her eyes over the Rogers when she walked into the room. She was in an androgynously cut black Yves Saint-Laurent pants suit. “Although I can’t tell whether you’re running for the American or the Russian government. You know: red, white and blue in common and all that.”

 

“Well, for some reason people feel comforted by the fact that public figures try to reassure them of their loyalty in obvious semiotics,” Natalia replied as she straightened her husband’s scarlet tie. “Raven, you know that that face has a warrant out for her.”

 

Mystique was wearing her usual statuesque blonde skin. She shrugged and changed form to a brunette.

 

“That one too,” Natalia pointed out. Mystique changed again.

 

“Did you stab me two years ago?” Steve accused when he saw the short spiky blonde pixie cut and blue eyes Mystique had donned. She grinned at him in a Cheshire Cat-like manner before she turned herself into Loki.

 

“That’s the face most likely to get people running and screaming,” Natalia scoffed.

 

“What a rude thing to say about someone to their face, Mrs Rogers,” Loki’s form said in his voice.

 

“Are you actually Loki?” Steve questioned. The couple scrutinised the shape-shifter in front of them who smirked back. Finally Natalia leaned forward and stared the person claiming to be her sister and her sister’s boyfriend in the eye.

 

“Stop pretending to be Raven, Loki,” Natalia ordered. “We don’t have time for this. You’ve wasted minutes that we could have been using to prepare.”

 

“How do you know I’m Loki?” the shape-shifter tested. “And all I’ve done is provide a mental distraction to prevent you from spontaneously combusting with anxiety. You should thank me.”

 

“I don’t get the same vibe from you that I get from Mystique. It’s something that I’ve felt most of my life and what helped me to draw the conclusions that I did about our biological relationship,” Natalia answered plainly. She stepped back and instructed her husband: “Steve, do a mental run through of the speech again.”

 

“I have an eidetic memory,” Steve grumped.

 

“You have a temper. T’Challa has a temper. I can’t stick to his side advising him on how to act, but I’m married to you so you have to consider my advice. Go over your speech so that you can stick to it. If you’re secure in the knowledge that everything you say will lead to the upper hand, then anything that fuckers like Ross will try to say to you will be irrelevant,” Natalia told him firmly.

 

“Have I just been assimilated into the family?” Loki queried. “It must be if you’re having domestic spats in front of me.”

 

“This is not a spat,” Natalia clarified.

 

“Spats involve knives being thrown,” Steve mumbled, and then added: “at me.”

 

“Excuse me, I’ve had sharp implements launched at me too- and grated cheese,” Bucky scoffed.

 

“Have you been punched by anybody yet, Loki?” Wanda enquired. “Or slapped? Because then you’re family.”

 

“Laura walloped me with her handbag,” Loki offered.

 

“You’re family,” Steve and Bucky said in unison. Natalia smirked and promptly added: “You may now tell Thor that we are open to marriage negotiations. As part of your gifts to the bride’s family we want a herd of eight-legged pink zebras.”

 

“I would oblige, but my brother made me take back the purple eight-legged unicorn that Darcy requested,” Loki simpered.

 

“What is holding Thor up anyway?” Steve asked.

 

“He doesn’t know which cape to wear. He sent me a message asking if he should go with the War-Red one, or the Sunset Scarlet one. They are the same colour,” Loki replied insouciantly. He sat down and morphed into a dark-haired woman who could have been Maria Hill’s sister. Just then the real Mystique entered, wearing her natural blue skin under a copy of the suit that Loki was wearing.

 

“I thought you were going as me,” Mystique griped.

 

“I can’t wait to see those two on Halloween,” Pietro commented as he breezed in past Mystique and settled next to his sister.

 

“Your sister said I’d get arrested,” Loki answered his blue lover.

 

“We’re going to the UN. Practically everybody has diplomatic immunity there,” Mystique responded before she turned into the spiky-haired blonde that Steve had accused of stabbing him previously.

 

“I don’t think,” Steve began before he was interrupted by the entrance of Sam with Tony pushing his wheelchair. The two were singing.

 

“Rollin’ with the homies,” Sam crooned the lyrics of the nineties Coolio song. Tony provided the background beat and the two of them bopped their heads in time. Sam continued to abuse the melody and announced in a terrible rap: “All the single gents in one vehicle and that’s the most awesome vehicle. Come on Pietro.”

 

“You guys are so clueless. I’m going to have to get all the chicks, aren’t I?” Pietro sighed as he stepped forward. The silver grey suit he wore certainly highlighted the physique that would garner him favour, but the ‘single gents’ all looked quite dapper. Sam was in a beige suit with a white shirt and a purple, camel, black and green Wakandan print tie and matching pocket square and Tony’s cream suit and red and gold tie screamed billionaire.

 

“Excuse me, I was getting all the chicks before you were born,” Tony protested.

 

“You’re not going to the UN to pick up chicks,” Natalia scolded.

 

“But they’re smart chicks,” Tony whined. “Wolverine stole my girlfriend.”

 

“I feel like I have a whole lot more than one son,” Natalia muttered. “Get in the cars, all of you! It’s time to go. And so help me if any one of you starts a car chase today…”      

 

@>-`-,----

 

It was not much of a surprise that Maria Hill was waiting to greet them as they headed in, but it was surprising how she greeted them. She marched straight up to Sam as he was rolling his eyes waiting for the ramp of their modified SUV limousine to lower him and his chair to the ground and stared down at him harshly. He met her steely gaze defensively. And after a few tense seconds, Maria promptly launched herself at Sam kissing him all over his head.

 

“You’re an idiot,” Maria scolded, hugging Sam’s neck tight enough for the gesture to be mistaken for a choke-hold. “I should have never let you out of my sight!”

 

“I. Can’t. Breathe,” Sam managed to get out.

 

“I can’t breathe without you too,” Maria told him before smothering Sam with an intense kiss. “You’re not allowed to get hurt and almost bleed out again.”

 

“Um, okay,” Sam answered dazed and giddy. Natalia shook her head at the sight, having predicted this eventual outcome. Steve so owed her a full-body massage while he was wearing that bright-yellow one-sided banana hammock he had to wear for his dudoir calendar gift to her.

 

“Dude?!” Tony yelled at Sam from the interior of the limo. “What happened to rollin’ with your single gents homies?”

 

“You’re the only one who’s really single,” Pietro commented as he got out, texting quickly on his phone before slipping his phone into his pocket. “I’m almost not-single.”

 

“Et tu, Pietro?” Tony gasped melodramatically. “Argh! Fuck you Wolverine!”

 

“You know there’s this guy I know called Wade,” Natalia offered.

 

“He’s possibly my cousin,” Sam chipped in as Maria straightened up and nodded to the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents who were providing extra cover. This was her personal team, who had all been trained by Coulson and approved by herself and Nick Fury. She led the way for T’Challa, the Wakandan ambassador to the UN and their security team to follow.

 

“He also hates poor James- Wolverine James that is,” Natalia informed Tony. “He has a club that you can join.”

 

“Is this the guy who won’t stop texting Peter Parker?” Tony asked with a grimace as he got out and buttoned up his suit jacket. “He eats all the food in my fridge whenever Peter’s there and leaves post-its saying that it was Peter who ate it. He used my bathrobe and had a bubble bath in my tub while watching My Little Pony. I have the security footage.”

 

“Trust me, you’ll love each other,” Natalia assured Tony with a sneer that he found annoying. The rest of the group followed King T’Challa, becoming more grave-minded for the task ahead. They had arrived just before the session was due to start so as to minimise the commotion that their appearance would cause.

 

Natalia, Steve, Bucky and Sam were to sit with T’Challa and Wakanda’s ambassador, who had also been part of the panel to question Natalia the last time she had been there. Pietro and Wanda would be blending in to the S.H.I.E.L.D. security agents that had been posted around the building. Mystique and Loki were blending in as well, but their objective was to look out for Thor. Tony would be tagging along with Maria, and sitting with her. The fugitives would be wearing the illusion masks that Natalia often had to use in the latter days of her career as an intelligence agent for S.H.I.E.L.D. They switched them on while still in the mostly empty corridors on their way to the General Assembly Hall, and would switch them off once T’Challa got up to speak.

 

Natalia glanced at her husband and back at his childhood best friend. She was determined to improve their situation. They’d travelled in the same vehicle as Bucky and Wanda, and Steve and Bucky had had the same identical expressions of wistful longing as they watched the New York scenery they drove past. They were _home_ together finally, but they still couldn’t enjoy it.  Home was never a place to Natalia, but she understood how important it was to Steve and Bucky to have that centre. New York was a beacon they’d used as an anchor to keep them going in the war. Steve had thought he’d never get to see it again when he crashed into the Atlantic. Bucky had thought he’d never belong to the city again while he existed as the Winter Soldier. When she thought about it, the only thing that was standing between them and the city that had raised them was the power of words.

 

Luckily, Natalia was in the company of those who knew how to wield words as a weapon just as skilfully as she could.

 

The session began, and Natalia was not surprised at all that Secretary of State Ross had not even feigned any other expression to hide his disdain for T’Challa and the Wakandan Ambassador as he stared at them from across the room. He’d narrowed his eyes at the non-Wakandans accompanying the King, but seemed to buy the basic cover that Steve, Bucky and Natalia were part of the Wakandan diplomatic delegation and that Sam was a witness and victim of the events at the Wakandan Palace. It was what was being murmured around the room by those who had noticed King T’Challa’s irregular company.

 

The President of the General Assembly spoke followed by the Secretary General, both expressing their concern over the events in Wakanda. The permanent members of the Security Council had not been able to come to a decision about the events in Wakanda, so the President of the General Assembly was obliged, under UN resolution 377A(V), to call an Emergency Special Session so the General Assembly could vote to do something to ensure peace.  

 

King T’Challa was escorted by a member of staff to GA-200, the suite of rooms behind the podium, to await his turn to speak. As a Head of State, he was given preference in the speaking order schedule. It was almost time for Natalia and her companions to reveal their identities, but she felt more concern for T’Challa taking the stage. Natalia felt an inexplicable urge to block him from leaving their group. Quickly analysing this feeling to decide if it was some pre-cognitive instinct, Natalia realised that her dread was rooted in her own mind’s association of the event with the death of T’Challa’s father, the late King T’Chaka. She inhaled and exhaled steadily to calm herself. Her husband next to her noticed Natalia’s application of her calming technique, as did his best friend next to him. Steve gripped Natalia’s forearm gently under the table, and she looked over at him. Responding to the questioning look he gave her, Natalia whispered without moving her lips: “King T’Chaka. The last time I…”

 

“We’re here to end this,” Bucky whispered without moving his lips on the other side of Steve, catching Natalia’s eye and assuring her of his determination with his steadfast gaze. It was a good thing that Steve and Natalia had given him a pep-talk earlier- It always helped if one believed in oneself.

 

King T’Challa took the podium regally and cast his gaze over the many hues of the serious faces that populated the room. Despite his calm appearance, there was no denying that there was something blazing about the man’s aura. Every single person in attendance focused on him in anticipation of what the man would say. T’Challa placed his notes on the podium, but he would not need them as he had entirely memorised his speech.

 

“Honourable President of the General Assembly, Honourable Secretary- General, my fellow Heads of State, Ministers of the Member States, Delegates of the Member States, Delegates of the Observer States and various members of the institutions devoted to ensuring peace among our nations,” King T’Challa began. “I come to you today as the Head of a peaceful that country that has suffered a terrible violation of its stability and sovereignty. Last night, the fourteenth of March two thousand and seventeen, the Wakandan Royal Palace was attacked by a horde of fifty android robots, led by the mind-controlled being known as Vision. Those who were affected by the attack included children, refugees and pregnant women- one of whom was my own wife. One hundred and fourteen people were injured. Thirty seven people remain in critical condition. Great damage was suffered to the buildings and many ancient Wakandan artefacts were destroyed.

 

“As many of you know the being known as Vision answers to the Security Committee law enforcement body known as S.H.I.E.L.D. But upon detaining Vision, Wakandan security forces were surprised to find that the _man_ who forms part of the Avengers team did not act of his free will. Vision had been chained with a suppressant collar, an illegal form of detention in many of the Member States of the UN due to its ability to aide in slavery. Once the instrument was removed, Vision admitted under questioning that the collar had been forced upon him because he did not agree with the directive he was given and found his proposed mission to be illegal.

 

“The proposed mission was the capture of Steven Rogers, Natalia Rogers, James Barnes, Samuel Wilson, Clinton Barton and Wanda Maximoff.” As King T’Challa said their names the former Avengers present at the Wakandan table and the former Winter Soldier turned off their masks and appeared with their real faces to the General Assembly. Thaddeus Ross, who had had his eyes on King T’Challa caught the revelation from the corner of  his eye and did a double-take when he realised the true identity of the people seated on the other side of the room, further up the alphabetical order of delegation seating.

 

“The recovery of these persons was to be achieved without regard to the sanctity of life, or the sovereignty of Wakanda, which has granted refugee status to the afore-mentioned people,” King T’Challa continued. “Wakanda has never considered these people criminals, and holds no active extradition treaties with any of the parties calling for the incarceration of these individuals. In reference to the Vienna bombings, which led to the events that ended in the warrants for these individuals arrest, Wakanda has considered the sequence of actions that followed as the bureaucratic obstruction of the job that these individuals were charged with fulfilling. The late King T’Chaka, my father, was killed in those bombings and the man who is responsible for them is awaiting sentencing from the International Crimes Court.”

 

People who had noticed the change in the occupants of the Wakandan delegation and who were fidgeting stilled at the reminder of King T’Chaka’s death, as well as the loss of life and injury suffered by many of their colleagues at that fateful conference in Vienna.

 

“Wakanda has acted within its sovereign rights,” King T’Challa reminded the Assembly, “and for that my countrymen and countrywomen have suffered. We have been treated as though we were children who did not know what was good for our own lives and future. Wakanda may have not been one of the founding Member States of the United Nations, having only joined in the nineteen eighties, but we joined because we decided to have faith in our neighbours and the other people of the world after spending much of our history wary of others. It pains me to think that my predecessors’ fears were perhaps well-founded.

 

“I have brought to your collective attention evidence of who is directly responsible for ordering the attack on my country. It was not a nation, but an individual who has become obsessed with a goal that is not aligned with our collective objective to keep the citizens of our planet safe. He has twice so far seen to it that dangerous alien technology has been used to supress the cognitive abilities of citizens of our planet providing the reason that they are not classified as human as per defined by a very narrow description. He has vocally attempted to demonise Mutant, Mutate and Enhanced humans and viciously pushed for the Superhuman Registration Act to come into law in his own country and across the world. Such an attempt to divide and segregate humanity is disturbing, and blatantly ignores the issue we face as a whole community.

 

“Instead of turning on our neighbours, family and allies we should be strengthening our ties and ourselves to face the dangers we already know may come about. It is only through the intervention of allies from other planets, and the team work of humans of all kinds on the genetic scale, that we have been able to hold back the forces that have turned malicious eyes upon our world. The actions of this individual and those like him are the attempts of outside forces to create division in our community when we are at the beginning of an age in our collective civilization that would see great leaps and bounds in our technology and understanding of the Universe. An individual may create something great, but a collective group will create that which will leave its mark on humanity forever.    

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, it pains me to make this accusation, but it is the truth: The Secretary of State of the United States, Thaddeus Ross, has without gaining the consent of or informing his President and fellow members of government of our host nation, or consulting the head of S.H.I.E.L.D. or the Security Committee, issued the order for the attack on Wakanda.

 

“Wakanda demands a motion to resolve this situation, because as it stands Wakanda is obliged to view his actions as a high-level government official as an act of war on behalf of his country. We do not wish to see the deterioration of relations between both countries. Therefore, I, as the leader of my people, ask that the General Assembly votes to investigate into the matter. I also ask that the refugees under my protection be allowed to return to their home country free to live their lives. Working to assure the continued freedom of our world and find the true perpetrators of crimes while in the employ of the body that we have agreed will enforce law on all of our nations behalf should not be a punishable offence.”

 

The red light had signalled the end of the fifteen minutes of allotted time that King T’Challa was meant to speak flashed. By the end of King T’Challa’s speech Thaddeus had turned red once, returned to his normal colouring, turned purple and then regained composure once again. He glared in turn at Natalia and Steve while he scribbled on a piece of paper to communicate with his aides. But the venom with which he settled his eyes on Bucky was acidic. It was something that made Natalia watch him with more care than she ever had.

 

The delegation for the United States of America had issued a request for a right of reply almost as soon as King T’Challa had begun his speech. Thaddeus Ross himself was going to respond to Wakanda’s allegations against him.

 

Secretary of State Ross quickly ran through the perfunctory greetings to the General Assembly and launched into his reply: “It is unfortunate that I have been labelled as a scapegoat in the tragedy that befell the Wakandan people last night. But I was forced to act when it came to my attention that the machine known as Vision was able to track the fugitives Steven Rogers, Natalia Romanova, Samuel Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, Clinton Barton and James Barnes. These dangerous individuals have been wanted by S.H.I.E.L.D., the United States and various Member States of the European Union for flouting their laws. It is my belief, as well as that of many others, that if these individuals had been truly trying to do their assigned jobs, then this matter would have been cleared up months ago. Instead, these individuals have banded together and acted in a manner similar to a terrorist group all in aide of protecting an individual who was up until recently in the employ of HYDRA, a known terrorist organisation that we all have on our watch-lists.

 

“Barely over a year ago, Natalia Romanova appeared before the Security Council and lied about the questions put to her. Before that Steven Rogers, Samuel Wilson, Wanda Maximoff and Clinton Barton helped a known assassin escape capture. Rogers, Wilson and Maximoff, who were members of the Avengers team also refused to sign the Sokovia Accords, a piece of legislation that would have ensured that they would have to answer to the nations that had ratified it. This legislature was meant to protect the citizens of our world, and keep the Avengers from committing further reckless acts that endangered human lives and homes. Instead of engaging in the process to ratify this resolution, Rogers and his followers chose to help Barnes evade lawful imprisonment. This is a man who has been tied to assassinations in many of the Member States present here today.

 

“The accusations laid against me, also bring up the fact that Wakanda assured the United Nations and the world that Rogers and his followers were not in Wakanda in the investigation into that country months ago. Yet, we have been informed that Wakanda has granted these dangerous individuals, who were privy to the military secrets of various government organisations and terror groups, refugee status as well as citizenship. Was this not a declaration of war against the rest of the world? What of the many lives affected by the actions of these individuals in their pursuit to keep an assassin from facing legal recourse? I maintain that I have acted in a manner that has always kept the safety of the public foremost in my mind.”

 

Thaddeus Ross glared at the Wakandan delegation coldly for a second as the red light indicating the end of his ten minutes of allotted time to respond had expired flashed. He pointedly locked eyes with Steve and Natalia, before almost sneering at King T’Challa. The Wakandan Ambassador had requested a right of reply for their delegation. King T’Challa had planned for Steve to take it. Natalia had felt the quiet rage and incensed disbelief levelled at the Secretary of State of his home nation roll off of her husband, and she worried for a second that he might lose his temper. But she was very proud indeed when Steve collected himself and stood to follow the escort to GA-200 before he spoke. 

 

Steve greeted the assembled dignitaries and delegates respectfully and took a deep breath before he began. “I fully acknowledge the chaos that my actions have created. I know that it is my life’s duty to have to bear this burden. And yet with all the calamity that my mere existence seems to bring along with it, King T’Challa, Queen Ororo and the Wakandan people offered me and my family a safe haven. They have protected me and mine, when we had nowhere to turn to so that we could protect a man that I consider my brother. I would have turned myself in and returned to work with the Avengers, faced the disciplinary actions that would have faced me if I was not convinced that the longest-held prisoner of war our planet has seen would be mistreated, brutalised, used as an inhuman weapon or killed. That prisoner of war is James Barnes, who had been kept from his home, tortured physically, mentally and telepathically since World War Two. Most of the people in this room are not old enough to have seen that war, but this institution was created as a result of wanting to prevent that atrocity, which affected so many people across the globe from occurring again.

 

“Within Wakanda, James Barnes was able to receive the help he needed to start healing from the decades of abuse at the hands of his tormentors. Many of you may claim that his incarceration was no excuse for his actions, but Mr Barnes was programmed, brainwashed to do as his captors dictated. You may claim that he always had choice. If this is so, then why does the UN invest so heavily in the preparation against psychic attack? Why do so many Member States concern themselves against these methods within their own structures, employing those with cognitive gifts to help them? It is because the threat is real. Our real enemies have found ways to use these methods against us. They have developed techniques and incarcerated cognitively gifted humans and forced them to do their bidding.”

 

Next to Natalia, Bucky relaxed a little from the tense body posture he’d been holding. Steve exchanged a glance with his best friend and the corners of his mouth curled up a tiny bit in an encouraging but barely perceptible smile. Steve then locked eyes with Natalia for a moment before he continued. Natalia gave him a nod, approving of his delivery of the speech she had written so far. The next little bit was wholly Steve’s work. 

 

“My wife Natalia also stands accused of misleading the Security Council,” Steve addressed. “We would like it to be known that she had disclosed her plans and actions to the head of S.H.I.E.L.D, and they were approved. My wife acted as she did to protect the lives of our son and daughter, who had yet to be born at the time. Natalia and I both possess enhanced DNA, and are both carriers of mutant genes which were activated by the processes used to make us into super-soldiers. We are Mutates, and feared for the safety of our children. We did not want them subjected to experimentation, which would have been a possible outcome if we had been incarcerated for our roles in the events following the Vienna bombings.

 

“Our cautious actions proved prudent as my wife was targeted by a drone attack on American soil. We have provided evidence that the drone attack was also ordered by Thaddeus Ross, who made use of NATO facilities. In the supporting documents presented, many other individuals linked to this crime have been named too. Further investigation into this corruption is required as we have come to believe that parties that are in opposition to Earth Nations and their known allies have been orchestrating events in preparation for a future attack.   

 

“King T’Challa is right in pointing out that our collective efforts would be better served in preparing for the possibility of attack from extra-terrestrial and extra-dimensional beings. We continue to be amazed by forces that attempt to attack our world and it is a blessing that we have not been overcome yet. But there will come a day when we need to join _all_ our resources to stand up against an enemy united.  

 

“A crime was committed against Wakanda. It is one of many that we have been letting go unpunished. The laws to register and discriminate against Mutants, Mutates and Enhanced humans remind me so much of the events that led to the last World War. I shall be sorely disappointed if the General Assembly allows such a travesty to be inflicted against our fellow humans once again, weakening us as a whole.”

 

Steve shared a meaningful look with King T’Challa and the monarch declared his approval with a nod of respect at the end of Steve’s speech.

 

The United States had requested another right of reply and Ross had gotten up to return to GA-200, when a crack of thunder roared and a bright flash blinded the occupants of the hall. Many of the delegates had shrieked and ducked in surprise, but the former Avengers had been expecting it. The S.H.I.E.L.D. security officials within the hall were also considerably less frazzled than the people they were guarding. None were so well prepared as Maria Hill and Phil Coulson who both donned sunglasses and remained calmly in their positions across the room from each other. Tony, who was next to Maria glared at the raven-haired woman who had not indicated any need for protective eyewear although the rest of her team at their desk had theirs on.

 

Right before the podium where Steve was still standing, Thor crouched wrapped up in his Sunset Scarlet Red cloak (Natalia received a text from Mystique’s number almost immediately informing her of the inane fact). He lifted his head and someone behind Natalia and Bucky exclaimed excitedly “It’s Thor!”

 

Thaddeus Ross rolled his eyes at the comment and Sam stifled a snort at the outburst. Thor flipped his head up and slowly rose to stand in a valiant pose. He beamed at the crowd before turning to Steve and saying to him in what he probably constituted as a whisper: “We finally got the Bi-Frost fixed, brother!”

 

Steve grinned at Thor and gave him an encouraging nod, already resigned to the drama that an entrance from Thor was bound to be.

 

“Greetings collective tribes of Earth,” Thor boomed pleasantly. The former Avengers did not have to turn around to see that a few people waved excitedly at the blond Asgardian. He definitely was the most famous and most-liked Avenger, despite not even being from Earth. “I apologise for my late arrival to this meeting to decide the fate of my comrades and whether those who helped nourish and sustain their lives in their time of need will be granted justice for the wrongs committed upon them. Please, Lord Steven, continue your speech.”

 

“Thor, the light’s red- I’ve just finished,” Steve informed him quietly.

 

“Oh,” Thor replied, before he turned to the President of the General Assembly, remarkably picking out the presiding authority figure in the proceedings. Natalia wondered if Darcy had used her Political Science degree and knowledge to coach him sometime before. “May I perhaps speak as well?”

 

“Such a thing is not according to procedure, but as a representative of another planet and a Head of State of that world, we will make an exception,” the flustered President of the General Assembly acquiesced.

 

“Thank you, Good Sir,” Thor grinned widely at him and took Steve’s place on the podium, while Steve returned to his seat.

 

“Midgardians, though it is not a part of your recently recorded history, Asgard has played a guardian role for your world while you find your way to engaging with the rest of the Universe. It has been our legal responsibility to help support you while you find your way to becoming full participants in the affairs of our Universe,” Thor informed the delegates. “We have been obliged to stand by and watch you grow without interference. Recently, your world has become of interest to malignant forces and we have felt it wise to step in and provide assistance, for Midgard is a world we will forever love. You are also a world which we do not want to see robbed of its resources, for Midgard is home to precious things.

 

“But we have observed that Midgard’s politics have been tainted with subterfuge from those not even of this world. Asgard fears that a third party force, which aims to take advantage of any chaos experienced by Midgard to rob this world and then spread further chaos may be at work. Hence, Asgard moves to establish a permanent embassy here, on Earth, so that we may be on hand for consultation and to offer assistance should the people of Earth need our services.

 

“This being said, we would like to announce the name of our first human employee, who will also serve as a cultural aide to help Asgardians better understand Earth and its history: Asgard has selected the individual known as James Buchanan Barnes.”

 

“What the fuck!” Secretary Ross screamed indignantly. “He is a criminal! This is obviously a set up. Such interference shows a blatant lack of respect for Earth and her citizens!”

 

Thor glared over at the spluttering red-faced man, his lack of approval at the outburst obvious, before he continued: “After careful consideration we have selected this man because he has known both the good and bad sides of life on Midgard. His many Earth years of experience, knowledge of various cultures and languages have impressed Asgardian visitors to Midgard. Consequently we offer the position in our embassy to him, should he wish to accept it. Such an endeavour involves awarding Lord Barnes dual Asgardian citizenship, which also affords him diplomatic immunity on this planet as well as any other he may visit.”

 

“It is through this first official step that Asgard hopes to forge a stronger bond with the tribes of the Earth Nation,” Thor rounded up. “Asgard truly wishes for a prosperous future for both our worlds.”

 

At the end of Thor’s speech Thaddeus Ross leapt up and began to shout at the tall Asgardian. The diplomatic team which was part of the United States delegation he sat with tried to pull him down and calm him. Ross was not the only person in an uproar- several other people from other delegations violently protested this announcement. There were others who protested and argued about the fact that these people protested against Thor’s announcement. Papers were waved about violently and shirt collars were grabbed.

 

Steve and Natalia looked at each other with wide-eyes knowing that things were about to erupt into the kind of fisticuffs that were reported at least once a year about some kind of parliamentary brawl in a distant country. Quickly Natalia turned her head searching for Wanda. She caught the younger woman’s eye and with a tiny nod, signalled for her to calm the delegates subtly.

 

Soon, people were brushing off their colleagues’ holds from their suits and adding last retorts as the President of the General Assembly called for calm.

 

“The General Assembly shall take what Prince Thor of Asgard has said, and we will meet again to debate this matter in an orderly fashion. Thereafter we shall observe due process and consider a resolution. For now, we will adjourn for the day,” the PGA declared firmly.

 

Across the room from the Wakandan delegation, Thaddeus Ross hissed loudly to his team as he pointed at Steve, Natalia, Bucky and Sam: “See that they’re arrested the second they set foot on American Soil!”

 

“Yes, well he can yell and roll about as dramatically as he wants,” King T’Challa remarked to his friends. “I’ve already called the President of the United States and all charges have been dropped against you in this country. The lure of Vibranium and the threat of withholding all those patents to my name proved to be a rather weighty bargaining chip to negotiate with. Shall we return to the consulate to watch the public apology my country’s about to get?”    

 

As Thor joined his friends he was approached by a woman who looked like she could be Maria Hill’s sister. After a mind-boggling amount of Midgardian years’ time in the daily presence of that individual, he could recognise the woman as having his brother’s life energy- but only because Loki chose to broadcast it to him.

 

“Hello Brother,” Loki said with a teasing feminine voice. “Is that the Sunset Scarlet?”

 

“Yes, the cape has a fluttering mechanism, but I thought that using it in my entrance would be too much for this event. That’s more suited to an outdoor setting with twilight or dawn lighting,” Thor replied easily as he showed off his cape. “What do you think of the proposed solution?”

 

“It may be sufficient,” Loki considered as they strolled together towards the group that was shaking hands and hugging each other after achieving their aims with as little fuss as they could have sanely hoped for. “We shall certainly need a presence here if we are to avoid a catastrophe for which Asgard may have to take part of the blame.”

 

“What news?” Thor asked carefully as he turned deliberately to his brother. Loki glanced over his shoulder at a group of delegates who had gathered with pens and paper. Thor turned to see what his brother was wary of, and quickly signed a few autographs for the people seeking them ‘for their children’.

 

“The technology they used to contain Vision and Wanda- I saw the device,” Loki told him in an undertone. “It has all the hallmarks of an Eternal whom no one wants in their galactic sector.”

 

“Do you mean…?” Thor probed, his concern bleeding through.

 

“Yes, Thanos,” Loki confirmed. “If it is him that we are facing, and since interest has been expressed previously in the Mind Stone then we may land up in a situation so tumultuous it may garner the attention of the Celestials.”

 

Thor grimaced. “They have not been seen by any nations we know since the last time Father met them. That’s before we were born- in fact, at least twenty five thousand Midgard years ago.”

 

“How is Father?” Loki asked. “Can we count on his counsel on how to proceed? Asgard has binding obligations to the will of the Celestials. We’re currently in contravention of them.”

 

“Father is as unstable as when you last left,” Thor admitted sadly. “Neither one of us can remain here on Earth and so far away from Asgard for so long. I fear that our weakness may be spotted, and then we shall find ourselves under attack.”

 

“We must step up our investigative efforts. We’ll be fucked worse than whatever I could conjure up if we don’t,” Loki sighed as the two Asgardians moved to join the Midgardians they knew. Mystique sauntered up to them with Pietro, who then left them to join his sister and Tony who were talking on one side. Mystique arched a brow curiously at her lover, and Loki shook his head subtly indicating that they would discuss the matter later.

 

For now, the former Avengers seized the opportunity to be as happy as the situation allowed, despite all the obstacles that were still against them.

 

As Natalia, Steve, Sam, Tony, Thor, Maria, Pietro and Bucky with Wanda under his arm exited the main hall they ran into an unexpected person waiting for them outside the doors. Victoria stood with her arms crossed, her hair blonde and done up in a chignon and wearing a cream light trench coat over a pale salmon-pink dress and sand-beige mules, directly in front of them. Bucky paused when he noticed her, as did the rest of the group. Vicky’s eyes were on Bucky though.

 

He stepped towards her, letting go of Wanda, and a curious expression formed on his face. Vicky responded with an enigmatic smirk before she broke out into a full grin.

 

“Dear lovely James,” Vicky purred. “I have a wonderful gift for you.”

 

“What is it? Please don’t say you’ve been hired to off me,” Bucky asked and theorised cautiously.

 

“Goodness, what do you think of me after all of that which we have been through?” Victoria scoffed. “I would threaten taking away your gift, but it’s sort of impossible now.”

 

“Tell us, Vicky,” Natalia encouraged. When Victoria came through for someone, she really came through.

 

“Well you know how I’m an old fuddy-duddy with a life-long espionage career behind me? It turns out that creating very many contacts and being owed tons of debts and favours can be useful: I managed to have _every_ piece of physical evidence against you as the Winter Soldier destroyed. Every single bit from any and every government that had some. That’s what I’ve been doing on this delightful sojourn I’ve been on since I left you all in Wakanda. Any case anyone hoped to bring up against you would be sorely lacking as they would only have eye-witness accounts- if there are any of those at all,” Victoria revealed with a nonchalant pout as she examined her nails. The little group stood gaping at Victoria in amazement. Even Natalia was surprised at the feat her long-time friend had pulled off. Victoria looked up through her lashes at Bucky and grinned devilishly. “That’s all.”

 

Once more, Victoria really came through.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I confess: I caved and scraped the last dregs of Nutella from the jar and ate them with a slice of cake. I just couldn’t focus on the story feeling so craving-crazy.
> 
> In other news: Once again other plot bunnies have been attacking me, this time they are bunnies who want to be introduced to the world on All Hallows Eve. They are very distracting. Also, I would be so surprised at myself if I managed to get those bunnies birthed and grown enough to present to the world in written form by that time. 
> 
> Also- please don’t flip tables- I think there’s only one or two chapters left of this story…
> 
> I do have ideas for a companion series of ‘out-takes’ from this Universe though. If you have any last urgent wishes for scenarios to see please let me know.


	27. Weeks, Months… (Home Again, Home Again)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our journey is almost at its end- there only one more chapter after this one. It feels really weird for me to know that. But I can guarantee that you’re going to want to read the final chapter, so keep your eyes peeled for it. 
> 
> I was obliged to settle down and just write all of this, even though my brain felt mushy from the heat. The weather is still crazy where I live. I freaked out a bit when I realised just how much I had to write before the end of the month! I wanted to get this story finished and get my Halloween ideas out too. 
> 
> Also I’d just like to remind you that this is AU, so I’m putting my spin on a few of the upcoming scheduled events for the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Twenty Seven

 

Weeks, Months… (Home Again, Home Again)

 

Even black widows built nests, and Natalia Rogers found that she was actually quite good at creating hers. Despite what Natalia had thought about being able to make anywhere she lived home so long as she had her loved ones with her, she really loved living in New York again.

 

At first the newly cleared former fugitives had moved straight into the Avengers Tower. It had been a big deal because Bucky felt awkward with Tony hosting them, but Steve refused to be separated from the friend he had finally gotten back. But then the most surprising mediator appeared in their midst: Sam Wilson’s mom.

 

Mrs Wilson had immediately made the journey to New York along with her husband to smother her brave son. And then she smothered the entire gang by effectively taking control of everything and even facilitating conversations between Bucky and Tony. Mrs Wilson was a psycho-therapist, and Sam had followed in her footsteps eventually by becoming a counsellor. Mr Wilson was a college football coach so he knew how to wrangle a rowdy bunch. Together they had everyone quickly settled and sorted out in the two weeks that they stayed. The Wilsons were also both really good cooks and great big family meals were shared between everyone.

 

At the end of their stay a much recovered Sam was dragged away to a family reunion with Maria tagging along. Apparently Maria and Mrs Wilson had never lost touch and spoke to each other over Skype every Sunday. Sam had known nothing of this. Natalia told Steve she could predict how this was going to turn out: Sam and Maria would break up and get back together numerous times until eventually Maria would propose. There would be a lot of ridiculous rules in their house, but Sam would slowly get Maria to loosen up and one day the gang would be able to visit and they wouldn’t have to take their shoes off and wipe their feet with hypoallergenic disinfectant wipes at the front door before they moved further into their house.

 

And then they got the communique that Scott Lang had yet to be pardoned and he was still stuck on Hank Pym’s private island. He was not amused that he’d been forgotten in all of this after helping them out. Sam promised to calm him down, while Phil Coulson got the paperwork sorted. That was on his list of things to do after he had ensured that the Barton farm was secure enough for the family to move back into.

 

In the months that followed, their lives moved on rapidly. Thaddeus Ross was taken into custody by S.H.I.E.L.D and while being interrogated it was found that he had a brainwashing implant in his brain. It looked similar to the technology that the collars that had been used to subdue Wanda and Vision were. Once the tiny device had been detected though, Ross began to convulse and soon after fell into a coma. He was currently in a vegetative state at a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility being monitored and treated, but nothing seemed close to being a cure for his state.

 

Steve felt guilty about the whole thing, and the fact that what Thaddeus Ross had said in front of the General Assembly was right to an extent ate at him. Steve and Natalia had to have quite a few heart-to-hearts about that and how they had to choose the path that they did for the good of their family, and to be able to help without getting arrested the next time the world needed them.

 

Tony had been declared sane by the court psychologists but his case that he volunteered to be tried for had been thrown out. Tony would have probably appealed if the Secretary-General of the UN hadn’t suggested a Truth and Reconciliation Commission instead. All past and present members of the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D staff who were not currently field agents or likely to return to the field were to participate. The public could come forward and request hearings and find out the truth of what had happened. The former Avengers were obliged to hear how these people’s lives had been affected and the survivors heard why the people meant to protect them did what they did. Bucky was also part of this solution, because there were people whose lives he had affected even if there was no physical evidence to try him anywhere. Almost every day one of the former Avengers had to attend a hearing.

 

The Avengers had also been disbanded as a permanently active force- not that any of the former team were still Avengers. Technically they had taken the same retirement deal as Clint had and were obliged to obey the summons should they be called up from the Reserve Forces and were fit and able. And fit and able is certainly what they were.

 

Natalia, Steve, Bucky and Sam had started a mixed martial arts fitness movement. They bought a building, started a company they called ‘The Courage Corp’ with the slogan ‘Be the Best of Your Best’ and held classes for all age groups. Natalia taught the little kids and self-defence for women with the aid of Steve, Bucky or Sam depending on who was available. The guys and a few thoroughly checked out instructors they’d hired taught the rest of the classes. Natalia would add more to her schedule when the Beans were older and ready to go to school, but she had quite enough to deal with on her plate until then.

 

The Super-Soldier Boot Camp Method became immensely popular fast, and they ended up creating a video series that catered to all sorts of people with many different needs. 

 

Aside from that, the guys took inspiration from a joke Natalia had once made and Steve, Sam and Bucky got their own weekly television cooking show called ‘Meatball Trio’. They made delicious food, horsed around like bros, there was an exercise segment as well as a Nutella sponsored segment and they often had special guests.

 

Wanda and Pietro had both gotten into college. Wanda was enrolled at NYU and Pietro had made it into Columbia. That meant they both became as busy as young people their age should be, but they still always had time to hang out and be part of the family. Pietro taught a class at their gym and Wanda and Bucky were moving towards moving in together.

 

Steve was wary about that as any protective older brother type should have been, but he was also determined that they should find a place near Steve and Natalia’s new home in Brooklyn. Fate conspired to get them the old firehouse that they’d seen on their first date. Another buyer had scooped it up and started on renovations but life got in their way and they decided to sell it. Steve was so smirky about the rightness of them getting the space that Natalia wanted to drop-kick him. But he was her husband and she loved him, so she just made impossible and inconvenient demands of him at odd hours. She was always ready with an innocent expression and the excuse that she was a mostly stay-at-home mom with super-soldier offspring twins and no nanny.

 

They had a crew from Tony’s in-house construction company work on the renovations and the Rogers family had moved into their new house in July just in time for Steve’s birthday. Natalia also knew that Nick Fury was in the process of manipulating events so that Bucky and Wanda would find a place to live within three blocks of where the Rogers currently lived. She could have said something about it to her boys, but saw no point in it. If Bucky hadn’t figured it out and was more focused on his new life she wasn’t going to taint that. They all already knew that their homes were somewhat under surveillance for the time being, and had accepted the fact since Phil Coulson was in charge of that.

 

And then they’d lost contact with Thor again. Bucky had been called before the UN over it to answer questions to the best of his ability. He was the highest ranking member of staff for the Asgardian Embassy to Earth, with Darcy as the next most senior employee. But neither of them knew anything. Secret efforts were made to reach Loki as well, but they proved fruitless. The gang then found out that a tense Mystique was just as harpy-like as her sister when she did not get what she wanted.

 

After a frantic week an exhausted Thor, Loki and a handful of Asgardians had appeared on the penthouse communal living suite’s garden level of the Avengers’ Tower. They were all shaken and the only explanation Thor was able to give was the single word: “Ragnarok.”

 

Loki was the first to become more coherent and explained in stilted stops as he held Raven close that Asgard had been lost. Many of its inhabitants had died in a great catastrophe. He was pressed for more but would not offer any further information up other than the fact Thor had vowed he would rebuild and that the public were not to know of this because the Asgardians could not afford to lose any power on the world that was now their only refuge.

 

It was the first time that the team had seen Thor so emotionally weakened. They had all read about the human interpretation of a Ragnarok in Norse mythology, but this was a reality that Thor and his brethren had only just survived. None of the Asgardians wanted to speak of it, so all the gang could offer was their help and quiet support.     

 

@>-`-,----

 

Wednesday, 23 August 2017

 

The best thing about being back in New York was witnessing how easily everyone slid back into a life lived in that city. There was so much to do for everyone that even the Asgardian survivors found themselves venturing out to explore. Life was to be savoured after all.

 

Even in the middle of the week in the swelter of midsummer when most people had taken time off to go on vacation, there were things to do. Consequently, the gang were all meeting up later to watch a baseball game in the evening. Steve and Bucky were being absolute lunatics about it because it was a game between the Dodgers and the Yankees. Natalia had thought Steve’s fandom was bad, but apparently he had really been toning it down. Bucky brought out the face-painting team-branded merchandise underwear wearing nut in him. She’d never thought that anything that the pair had said was boring until baseball statistics started pouring out of their mouths. Suddenly they both started to sound like the jolting noises of horn instrument music that replaced the voice of any adult in a Peanuts Special. The worst part of it all was that this baseball obsession was apparently contagious. Sam who had grown up on football was converted, Pietro and Thor learned, Clint put in his two cents and Pepper revealed a secret passion for the game.

 

It was awful and inescapable. But Natalia let it go because this was what having a life was all about. And Natalia needed to kick herself over some aspects of getting back into living freely: she still hadn’t been out on her own with the twins in over five months of being back in New York. Natalia always had someone to accompany her. Usually it was Steve, or Wanda and Pepper, and sometimes Victoria when she was in town. She’d been out on her own, but never with the twins. Natalia just couldn’t quite squash the shrill note of irrational panic she felt at being alone to protect her Beans if something should happen on the busy streets of New York. She considered herself ridiculous for her fears and was resolved to overcome them. Natalia just wished that she hadn’t chosen the 23rd of August, the day she always remembered the bombing of Stalingrad.

 

But she was determined. She had good fun things to do that day with their family and she had good errands to run. Natalia had decided to go and pick up her order from a bespoke goods baby store instead of having it delivered. Ororo was bringing Azari to the US and it would be the first time that they were going to see the adorable little Wakandan prince in person. In the photos she had seen and the video conversations she’d had with Ororo and T’Challa where the little baby had joined them, Natalia had seen that his face looked like T’Challa’s had at that age according to family albums and portraits that she’d been shown. But Azari had his mother’s blue eyes and white hair. Ororo said that this was sign that he’d probably inherited the Mutant Powers of her family line, which was a little unusual since the powers tended to manifest in the female members of her clan. But the baby boy had made a cloud out of his bath water the other day so they were expecting him to be strong in his powers.   

 

So Natalia bundled James and Demelza up as much as one could in midsummer, tucked them into their stroller and set off from their new house towards the baby store seven blocks away. It was not a far distance to a former Red Room agent who was used to running with Steve, but it felt like a long gauntlet that was exposed to all sorts of dangers. Natalia knew people had noticed them.

 

She almost confronted a guy who was about to take a picture of them when his friend snatched his phone away.

 

“What the hell, bro?” the guy with a man-bun accused his bearded friend who had confiscated his phone.

 

“Dude, she’d with her kids. If somebody took a photo of your girl and your kids, or your sister and her kids, would you like that?” the redheaded bearded guy responded with a frown.

 

“I don’t have kids,” the man-bunned guy protested.

 

“Use your imagination,” his friend seethed. After a few seconds mulling it over, the would-be photographer’s friend decided to guide him some more: “They’re just babies, man. They didn’t ask to be born to famous people. And just because they’re famous doesn’t mean they can’t be free to just go about living everyday lives. I mean, look: they moved to Brooklyn. There’s a family vibe in this particular neighbourhood.”

 

Natalia stood stock-still watching their exchange, knowing that they were aware that she was watching them. The man-bunned guy finally conceded and walked over to apologise admitting that he hadn’t thought of things the way that his friend had explained and that he’d been excited to spot her with her twins. Natalia accepted with a handshake and genuine smile directed at the redheaded bearded guy. He had walked over and mumbled something about “Gingers standing united to support each other.”

 

Natalia continued her journey when she was accosted again. She’d been looking at a bakery’s shop display when she caught sight of a child running towards her reflected in the store’s glass windows. The last time she’d crossed paths with a strange child they were in the employ of a cartel and had stuck her with a tranquiliser dart. She was not about to underestimate a child again.

 

Whipping around, ready to face whatever the little girl was bringing, Natalia realised she was faced with a brownie scout. The little girl had her uniform on and in the background a woman whom the curly-haired and caramel-skinned girl resembled stood half getting out of her car as she idled her Fiat in a no-parking zone.

 

“Excuse me Mrs Rogers,” the little girl piped up nervously. The girl had a huge piece of red cardboard rolled up and tied with a black bow in her arms. “My name is Vanessa Roscoe and I’m a Brownie Scout. My troupe did a presentation on role models and I chose you as mine. It was all about how you taught us all to stand up for what’s right and how you help others and protect them. The troupe voted it the best presentation and we decided that we’d send my poster to you. My mom and I were about to go and drop it off at your work building, but then we saw you on the street. If it’s not too much trouble, ma’am, I’d like you to have this.”

 

Vanessa handed Natalia the rolled up cardboard sheet, which the older woman quickly unravelled to inspect. It was filled with hand drawn pictures of her, and quotes that Natalia had half-forgotten that she’d said. Natalia rolled the sheet of red cardboard up and smiled warmly down at the little girl.

 

“Thank you so much Vanessa,” Natalia said. “I really appreciate this and am very flattered that you chose me as a role-model.”

 

“All the girls in my class at school want to grow up to be just like you,” Vanessa smiled. “You, the Scarlet Witch and Storm from the X-men. We have to play rock-paper-scissors to decide who gets to be who when we’re playing.”

 

“Tell you what, Vanessa, why don’t I get the details of your troupe from your mom so I can organise a martial arts demonstration class for you girls. Would you like that?” Natalia offered.

 

“Oh I’d love it! We’d all love it,” Vanessa exclaimed. Natalia pushed her stroller over to where Vanessa’s mom was parked as the little girl walked with her.

 

“They’re so cute,” Vanessa remarked about the twins. Natalia greeted Vanessa’s mom who apologised for their forwardness, which Natalia brushed off by saying that Vanessa had brightened her day. They exchanged details and Natalia showed Vanessa which twin was which- they were wearing gender-neutral onesies.

 

After the pleasant deviation from her plans Natalia finally reached the baby store to pick up her order, which included a baby sleep-hat that resembled a gold crown and another bespoke black one with cat ears that had the words ‘Black Panther Cub’ embroidered on it in cursive. Much more relaxed than she had been when she left the house that morning, Natalia made it back home safely and without incident, free to get ready for the baseball match that evening.

 

@>-`-,----

 

“Hey,” Steve greeted Natalia with a kiss as he held his hand over his phone. He spoke to the person on the other end of the line: “Just a second, Nat and the kids just came in.”

 

Steve bent to kiss his kids and took Natalia’s bags from her setting them down on the kitchen counter as he explained who was on the line: “It’s T’Challa. He’s having new dad issues. He says that he helped me through the most embarrassing panic attack of my life, which concerned becoming a father, so I’m obliged to listen to him freak out.”

 

Natalia chuckled and said a ‘hello’ into the phone at her husband’s ear.

 

“Bucky and Wanda will be here at four. Sam’s got an extra class at the Romanov Rogers Community Centre to teach so he’s catching a lift with Tony, Vis and Rhodey,” Steve informed her before he disappeared off to their backyard to continue his conversation with T’Challa.

 

A few hours later Natalia had just gotten the twins dressed after their nap and a cooling wipe down when Bucky barged in, which he often did as he had a key and was family, earlier than expected.

 

“Nata, James and Demelza have to wear this!” Bucky demanded as he shoved a parcel at her. “I didn’t think they would arrive in time but the courier just dropped them off.”

 

“Hello Bucky,” Natalia greeted pointedly.

 

“Hey Nat,” Wanda called from the direction of their front door. “I apologise for my rabid boyfriend but he means well. Where’s Steve?”

 

“Hey Wanda. He’s supposed to be packing the Bean’s food into their travel bag,” Natalia told Wanda as she walked into the nursery. She gave Wanda kiss on the cheek before she turned back to the present that Bucky had brought. Bucky had moved on to sweeping his god-children up, holding one in each arm and whizzing them around making aeroplane noises.

 

“I’m in the study!” Steve yelled from down below. “I thought I lost the tickets for a second.”

 

“I would have killed you with my bare hands if that was so,” Bucky yelled back.

 

Natalia opened up the package to reveal two baby suits. One was a blue Dodgers baseball uniform set and the other was a white onesie with the caption ‘I’ve been told I love the Dodgers’ written in blue with a little baseball drawing underneath it.

 

“They both have their names on the back. The blue is for James and the white is for Melzie,” Bucky explained. Natalia flipped the garments over to find that the blue one said ‘Jelly Bean Rogers 1’ and the white one had ‘Jelly Bean Rogers 2’ emblazoned on it. “Melzie never seems terribly interested in baseball, but I know James is already a fan. He always goes for his soft baseball toys.”

 

“I already explained the implied sexism of that thought process and gift allocation,” Wanda huffed, folding her arms.

 

“Hey,” Bucky declared firmly, “If Demelza develops an interest in baseball and works at being drafted I’ll do everything in my power to get her signed to the Dodgers team- use my Winter Soldier skills if I have to.”

 

“They’re eight months old Yasha,” Natalia stated. “They know nothing about baseball except that it turns their father and their uncles into fun demons.”

 

“Fun being the operative word there,” Bucky retorted, as he snuggled the giggling and gurgling babies to him. “Isn’t that right little J and Melzie-moo?”

 

“You do know that one day Demelza will probably disown you for that ridiculous nickname? Steve can probably get away with it because he’s already wrapped around her little finger, but you might just become that embarrassing uncle she avoids,” Natalia warned with a chuckle as she picked up Demelza and started to change her into the white Dodgers onesie.

 

“But I fully plan on being that embarrassing uncle,” Bucky countered as he started to change Little James. “I’m sworn by a sacred oath taken by Tony, Sam, Thor and I that we shall endeavour to use any means possible to prevent our Princess Melzie-moo from having to endure guys like us. Being embarrassing and forever prying into her business is part of the agreed upon strategy.”

 

“And what about James?” Wanda asked, glaring with narrowed eyes at her boyfriend.

 

“We pledged to turn him into a better guy than Steve,” Bucky shrugged, pausing for a moment before he buttoned up James’s shirt.

 

“They’re both going to be hell-raisers only obedient to me, I shall ensure it,” Natalia grinned mischievously. “Converse sneakers would go with these outfits. They’re downstairs in the laundry.”

 

Bucky handed James over to Wanda and walked out onto the landing to yell: “Steve, Natalia wants baby sneakers.”

 

“There’s like seven pairs down here,” Steve called up after a few seconds.

 

“Ones that go with Dodgers colours- Converse she says,” Bucky clarified. He turned back to Natalia to ask: “Hi-tops or low-tops?”

 

“Do you honestly think they would make baby low-tops?” Wanda asked in Sokovian with a raised brow. “Baby Converse sneakers look like little boots.”

 

Before Bucky could reply Steve yelled that he had found them and chucked the four little blue shoes up to Bucky who brought them in and put them on James and Demelza. They all made their way downstairs and found Steve about to answer a call on his phone in the kitchen, car keys in his hand.

 

“Hold on this is Sam- I’ll put him on speaker,” Steve said as he answered the call. “Hey Sam.”

 

“Where the hell are you guys?” Sam hissed. “Were actually here before you guys. Tony’s about to have some sort of snarky meltdown because he’s never early for anything social.”

 

“This is not social. This is being a witness to war,” Bucky interjected.

 

“Hey Bucky,” Sam greeted happily before returning to his panicked tone. “Still don’t know where you punks are.”

 

“You’re on speaker Sam, Wanda, the Beans and I are here too,” Natalia informed him.

 

“Hey Nat, Wanda, Beans,” Sam greeted in the same happy tone.

 

“Clint’s in traffic and we’re headed out the door now,” Steve said as he shouldered the twins’ jelly bean print travel bag- a gift actually made by Victoria, or Granny Vicky as she was known to the twins. “We haven’t even painted our faces yet, man.”

 

“Tell Tony we have infants, Sam,” Natalia chipped in. They heard Sam repeat what Steve and Natalia had said to Tony before Sam got back to them.

 

“He said that he thought you guys were so slow since you’re a heard of dinosaurs,” Sam reported. “Don’t shoot the messenger. But get here before Rhodey and I go nuts and Tony does something stupid. Naturally Pepper’s early and she brought Logan and Tony’s making moon eyes at her. I think I only have the strength to watch like Vision does- he never stops Tony from embarrassing himself- but’s it so cringe-worthy.”

 

“Fine we’ll rescue you,” Natalia sighed.

 

“Pietro says they just finished parking so he and Thor and Darcy will be there soon,” Wanda added quickly after a glance at her phone before they hung up.

 

Natalia took the keys from her husband knowing that Bucky and Steve felt the need to put paint on and that face-painting while they were in the front seats would probably get them into a fender-bender in the traffic going to the stadium.   

 

“Please save me,” was the phrase that Rhodey greeted them with when Natalia, Steve, Bucky, Wanda and the Beans arrived in the luxury suite box they had booked for the game. He strode over, walking well on his mechanically-aided legs, and implored them with beseeching eyes contrasted with a smooth nonchalant tone. “Pepper dumped Tony and I basically became his wife minus the sex. I feel like I need to put him on a child-leash and provide him with constant activity so he doesn’t get into anything.”

 

“You’re exaggerating,” Tony interrupted as he came over to greet the new arrivals. Thor, Pietro and Darcy were already there. Surprisingly Jane had chosen to attend too. Apparently she found the math of baseball fascinating and was discussing it all with Vision. Darcy was also ‘getting her puma on’ with Pietro. She wasn’t old enough to be a cougar, so Darcy wore her puma crown proudly. She was young at heart and thrived on craziness. Pietro liked having a hot girlfriend who could literally deal with anything and everything. One could say his penchant was a product of the environment he was surrounded by.

 

“Hey Red One and Red Two,” Tony greeted as he took both James and Demelza off of Natalia and Steve. “How’re my little rebels in training?”

 

“They’ve had a nap and are ready for the game,” Steve answered.

 

“I can see you and Bucky are super-ready,” Tony remarked examining the blue faces of the two die-hard fans.

 

“There’s food and drinks galore- help yourselves everyone,” Rhodey informed them gesturing to the spread. “You look like you could do with a vodka to deal with the impending crazy we’re about to face, Wanda. How about you, Nat?”

 

Wanda had nodded her agreement to a drink vigorously and Natalia answered: “Pumping and dumping tonight so yeah.”

 

“So I have to ask, Bucky: What they hell do you actually do at the Asgardian Embassy?” Tony asked. “Because I seriously thought you would be going on a lot more excursions.”

 

“I guess I’ve structured things sort of like how the Red Room used to educate agents. There were classes and the pupils would have to watch things like movies and in practical parts they’d cover technological devices.”

 

“Those were always so serious,” Natalia sighed. “We’d watch comedies but no one was allowed to laugh.”

 

“Yeah being free is a vast improvement when it comes to cultural education,” Bucky commented. “Darcy’s a huge help for things I’ve missed: the things that went on while I was mostly on ice. She’s a huge pop-culture junkie. We actually watched ‘Point Break’ last week, which Thor was over the moon about.”

 

“I now get that reference!” Thor boomed from across the room having caught a snippet of their conversation.

 

“Hey Buck, we need to go hang our banners,” Steve reminded his best friend. The two quickly checked over their signs which read ‘You’ll never take the Brooklyn outta the Dodgers- Born and Bred!’, ‘The Dodgers still own Brooklyn!’ and ‘The Rogers love the Dodgers!’ It was a good thing that the team and their LA fans had taken Steve and Bucky’s dedication for what it was: enduring, unbreakable loyalty. They were practically spokesmen for the team and received special merchandise with the old Brooklyn insignia on them to wear.

 

“Sam’s in the next suite,” Rhodey told them as he handed Natalia and Wanda their drinks. “Your Brooklyn Dodgers fan club arrived just before you guys did.”

 

Steve and Bucky felt a little lonely being the only Brooklyn Dodgers fans, so they managed to rustle up fellow supporters from their old neighbourhood. Most of their club members were senior citizens who had followed the team since before they made the move to Los Angeles. Some of them were actually the younger siblings and children of people that Steve and Bucky had grown up with. Their oldest member was in Steve and Bucky’s class at school. They all had a lot to talk about- a lot of baseball especially since Steve and Bucky had missed so many momentous games. The two Brooklyn punks had treated their club to VIP tickets to the game and they filled several luxury suites.

 

“Good to see you Pepper,” Natalia greeted the strawberry blonde as she came over for a hug with Logan trailing behind her. Logan gave his greetings and ignored Natalia’s smirk and taunting whisper of “Once you go ginger…”, before returning outside to help Steve and Bucky with their banners.

 

“I’d do anything to see you and my god-kids,” Pepper grinned. “Also to witness a Dodgers versus Yankees game. My grandmother was a huge fan of the Dodgers and passed it down to me.”

 

“We’re here!” Clint groaned from the entrance to their suite. A harassed looking Barton family tumbled in, the kids running straight towards the sweets. Clint kissed his hellos, grabbed a soda and headed out onto the balcony.

 

“The traffic was insane!” Laura complained. “Apparently some guy called Deadpool caused a huge shootout car chase crash thing in the tunnel.”

 

“I’m so glad I don’t have to fill in mission reports about those anymore,” Natalia sighed.

 

“Whup,” Wanda exclaimed flatly as she pointed outside to their seats where their baseball lunatics were. “The shirts have come off early. Is it really appropriate to be swinging their jerseys around like helicopters before the game has even started?”

 

“It would be worse with those two if they were with the crowd,” Natalia theorised. “I imagine crowd-surfing, yelling matches and perhaps a punch thrown at a drunken fan of the other team.”  

 

“That sounds about right,” Pepper mused. “You know that Tony would tag along just to exacerbate the situation, right? Never let that happen unless you guys want an unnecessary lawsuit. Damn, I wonder if it’s a good idea to have them all out there at once? The next box has Yankees fans in it. Logan’s pretty hot-headed too sometimes.”

 

Natalia gave Pepper a wry look and the strawberry blonde conceded that Logan was plenty hot-headed.

 

“How is that going by the way?” Natalia probed.

 

“Still good, I think,” Pepper revealed. “The sex is intense and he’s so… strong. But I’m not sure we’re able to really connect emotionally. I miss that. But we’ve both got baggage. I guess it’s something we have to work on.”

 

“Well you know there are ears that will listen if you need them too,” Natalia assured Pepper.

 

“What the hell is that girl doing talking to Bucky?” Wanda hissed as she glared at a pretty young woman talking to Bucky over the suite barrier.

 

“Don’t set her ablaze, dear,” Laura instructed as she patted the younger woman’s shoulder. “He’s giving her a nice guy brush off- look.”

 

“I can second that,” Rhodey interjected from his seat where he was playing with James. Tony had wandered out with Demelza and was now talking with Sam outside. Thor, Jane, Vision, Pietro and Darcy were on the balcony as well.  

 

“It’s really trying being in a relationship with a guy that’s so smooth and attractive. I get all jealous when people flirt with him but then I feel like an idiot when he comes back and is all sweet and adorable,” Wanda sighed. “What do you to deal with that?”

 

“I ignore it,” Pepper replied.

 

“I head-butted another girl once when Clint and I were dating,” Laura confessed.

 

“Well I had the last threat to my relationship with Steve’s apartment laced with crab nits,” Natalia answered casually. “But then I changed my mind when I found out it was a misunderstanding and Steve’s stupid fault. These days: Honestly, I just channel that energy into doing kegels. It’s a primal reaction, and what better way to appease the inner animal than to assure yourself that you’re the best primal choice. Not a very enlightened way to think, but it works for me. And I imagine the faces of any flirts when I’m using the machine guns at the shooting range.”

 

“You guys are scary,” Rhodey declared slowly. 

 

“Hey, I need Little James,” Steve announced as he came in through the sliding door. “I’m taking the Beans over to meet with the fan club. Why is everyone looking at me with those creepy smiles?”

 

“It’s nothing,” Natalia reassured him with a kiss on his cheek. “Do you want me to come over and say hi too?”

 

“Yeah that’d be great,” Steve agreed still suspicious of the fixed expressions that were obviously hiding something that the occupants of the room were wearing. He wiped her mouth and offered the excuse: “Blue lips.”

 

“Steve, you and I both know I’m going to have blue all over me by the end of tonight whether the Dodgers win or not,” Natalia concluded dryly.

 

“Nat! Don’t jinx us! We’re gonna win,” Steve exclaimed as he bundled James up in his arms. “Also, really? The innuendo!”

 

“You’re the one who made it into an innuendo, Steven,” Natalia teased as she put her arm around her husband’s waist and walked out with him. “Besides I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t bait you.”

 

“You just like seeing me blush awkwardly,” Steve accused playfully.

 

Natalia was right though: she did end up with telling blue paint all over her that night. Her blueness increased with every run and she looked like a smurf by the time the Dodgers won.

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found the Dodgers merchandise for babies on Pinterest. I basically know very little about baseball and my reaction to stats is the same as Natalia’s. I just can’t. I try, but I can’t. It’s the same reaction I have to American football and cricket. I can get into soccer, but it stresses me out too much. If you want me to pay attention for a whole match then rugby’s your best bet.
> 
> Also, I know Azari’s eyes aren’t blue and he’s basically got no hair when we meet him with James Rogers, but I just wanted him to have a little of his mum in his looks.
> 
> One more to go! I had to really put my nose to the grindstone to get this out. I still have so much to write this weekend!!!!!! Will I sleep? Will I need Snickers power?


	28. Ave Maria/ Drizzled Ichor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been dreading writing this ever since I realised the magnitude of where I had moved my end goal post- so basically two months. I procrastinated a bit, but then I decided to start writing this before the previous chapter so that I knew where I was going and that I had an end already worked out. Still it was a daunting prospect thinking of what I had to do to get this done.
> 
> As far as the title goes, I just felt it was apt.
> 
> So get comfy, make sure you have your snacks and something to hug. I won’t post any warnings because it’s the Finale. Just Read.

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Captain America, the Black Widow or the Avengers franchises. I don’t own any Marvel characters or Marvel Universe elements… yet (Mwhahahahahahaha!). Oh, and I also don’t own any other popularly recognisable characters, brands or iconography that are referred to in this text.**

 

Chapter Twenty Eight

 

Ave Maria/ Drizzled Ichor

 

Thursday, 16 August 2018

‘Wedding of the year’ was not the title Natalia Alianova Romanova-Rogers had ever wanted associated with her own wedding; yet between Pepper, Victoria, and Tony along with the ever more whimsical suggestions of Bucky, Natalia and Steve’s second wedding was in danger of becoming quite the production for a dangerous few months.

 

At first Natalia let the crazy offers slide since the event had proved to be a healing and bonding activity for Tony and Bucky. But the two of them just seemed to egg each other on towards craziness. Steve was no help because he just went along with the madness. The three of them practically skipped along bouncing ludicrous ideas off of each other, while Sam took photographic evidence of it all. If Natalia did not put her foot down they would have had white butterflies, coloured feathers, rose petals, doves and swans raining down on their guests. She had exploded when Bucky and Tony approached her seriously about getting Bald Eagles to cartwheel from the heavens at their reception. That wasn’t even possible- one couldn’t force wild animals to engage in courtship rituals on command and in the wrong season.

 

And then she had to deal with Ivan Simanov of all people, who was surprisingly offended that she didn’t want to partake in any of the wedding traditions from the old country. She had told them that there was no point since she was technically already married to Steve. But the melodramatic strop he had thrown himself into accompanied by him deciding to only talk in Russian idioms was driving Victoria nuts. So Natalia had to sit down with him and confess the real reason she didn’t want any of all that was because it reminded her of her wedding to Alexei. They’d gone through the traditions as much as Soviet Intelligence officials could back in those days and when she told Ivan her true reasons for refusing the customs, Natalia found that she still had one more tear for her bastard ex-husband. Ivan had understood and been supportive, but reminded her that she didn’t have to throw it all away because she also deserved good sentimental memories of her native culture. All that Natalia agreed to concede on that front was the use of the traditional intertwined gold rings symbol on their wedding invitations.   

 

Natalia and Steve had chosen to have their second wedding ceremony on their second wedding anniversary. They were thriving once again, and the amount of time they had to plan gave them the opportunity to do so as leisurely as they could. And, most importantly (to the bride that is), Natalia was able to get exactly the dress she wanted.

 

It was a beautiful mermaid design made of sheer fabric that clung to her curves with strategically stitched lace and embroidery. The sleeves were long and the back dipped low. It was daringly sexy, yet in an exquisitely elegant manner. Steve’s jaw was guaranteed to slacken when he saw his wife at the end of the aisle before she joined him.

 

They were able to get her husband’s old parish, St Joseph’s Co-Cathedral, which Steve and Bucky were over the moon about. Natalia was glad of it too. Her husband had anchors that still tied him to Brooklyn, and the family they created would have that too. She’d actually been afraid that they’d be turned away because she wasn’t Catholic and she was a sinner of note. But the church staff were so kind, and when Steve and Natalia met with the priest who would be conducting their ceremony he explained that the matter had been discussed among their staff and they had unanimously come to the agreement to allow the marriage to take place in their cathedral. They felt that because Steve and Natalia had done so much and sacrificed so much for the good of the world that they definitely deserved to have their request met.    

 

But what had struck Natalia the most about the public’s perception happened on her way to the church that morning.

 

They were having a noon ceremony, something that had been a running joke among their close friends considering that cowboy movies always had quick-draw duels at that time. Steve was already at the church with his groomsmen, and Natalia was on her way. They’d talked over the phone and none of the guys had done anything wrong and everything was supposedly running smoothly. Natalia deduced the whole truth from Tony’s text commentary on proceedings that Sam was hungover again, Logan had ruined a flower arrangement by accidental pruning, Pietro lost his pocket square when he raced out to get everyone smoothies, and that if it wasn’t for Bucky’s tutoring on remaining stain and wrinkle free in a suit no matter what Pietro may have gotten strawberry smoothie on his person because there was a near accident with a food truck on the way back. She also learned from Darcy that Thor had ripped his suit in the arms when he flexed too hard, but luckily they were actually prepared for that and there was two spare suits on hand for Thor in particular. He had more wardrobe allocations than the bride herself, and had to be threatened by Victoria and Pepper united so that he would not try to add a cape to his ensemble as he had suggested several times before.

 

Little James and Demelza were dressed in a tux and white poufy dress respectively. James had a little bow tie made of a jelly bean printed material and Demelza wore a bow headband in the same fabric. They were walking now, or rather running. Their parents had thought of making them ring bearer and flower girl, but since they were both still putting anything and everything into their mouths they thought it wise to just let them toddle down the aisle with Victoria holding onto their hands. They did not need to be spending their wedding day in an emergency room or placing a call to Wanda and Pietro’s father, who was still actually an outlaw, to help fish a ring out of a baby’s oesophagus. Lila and Cooper got the job with Nathan getting the task of officially dancing down the aisle in front of them as only a rambunctious three year old could.

 

In Natalia’s limo her bridal party consisted of Victoria, Pepper, Wanda, Laura, Raven and Clint as her man of honour. He’d already walked her down the aisle, so this ceremony he got to do something different. Natalia and Steve had asked Ororo and T’Challa to be a party of the wedding party, but they had declined. They considered Steve and Natalia family, so they were not about to bring a Royal Child Minder with to look after Azari. The adorable, blue-eyed, one year old had displayed his Mutant Powers very early and tended to create distracting rainbows to amuse himself if he wasn’t physically with his mother.

 

As they drove along the New York Streets the bridal party enjoyed excited banter over a glass of champagne. Cooper and Lila had sparkling white grape juice. James, Demelza and Nathan wore little plastic raincoats over their clothes to save them from spills- a brilliant idea suggested by Pepper.

 

“Mamma, look!” Demelza yelled in Russian as she and her brother leaned against the window. They’d escaped their car seats- one disadvantage of having children with Super-Soldier Mutate genetics was that they tended to think of anything that constricted them as a challenge they needed to find their way out of. Unfortunately that had led to the two of them streaking in Central Park when they felt their clothes were too hot and scratchy a month earlier on a trip with Uncle Bucky and Uncle Sam.

 

Natalia looked to where James was thumping on the glass as Victoria wrestled Demelza back into her lap and tried to get an arm around James. There were people lining the streets of Brooklyn. A whole lot of people of all demographics- including Mutants who made no effort to hide their different exteriors- were out and seemed to be waiting for something, and as their limo passed they got all excited. For a second Natalia feared that something bad had happened and that they’d have an attack to take care of.

 

But then she saw the placards: ‘Congrats Steve & Nat!’, ‘Wishing you the Best Wedding ever!’, ‘Brooklyn Loves You!’, ‘New York’s Finest Couple!’ and one in Russian that read ‘If Russia’s Most Exquisite Jewel Deems You Worthy Steve Rogers, Then Welcome To The Family!’

 

“Crap, I need a tissue, Pepper,” Natalia choked brokenly holding out her hand for the wanted item. The notorious Black Widow had tears welling in her eyes because the people of Brooklyn and New York had come out to wish her and her family well on her wedding day. “I feel like I should wave or something.”

 

“Well then aren’t you glad this is a Tony Stark tricked out limo?” Pepper grinned before she pressed a button that adjusted the opaqueness of the windows. “You can wave and they’ll see us, but it’s all still bullet-proof etcetera. There’s no ways you’re opening anything, not after the hairstylists created perfection on everybody in here.”

 

“It feels like we’re princesses or something,” Wanda laughed as she waved to the crowd that they passed through. They certainly resembled royalty in their individual pastel chiffon gowns. Everyone including the kids waved and had a thoroughly great time doing so right up to the church. Once there, there was another surprise for Natalia and her bridal party. The Police Department, Fire Department, and Veteran’s Association had formed an honour guard to salute them. It was mind-boggling how much support they had, and as they stepped into the cathedral Pepper immediately frantically sought the help of the standby make-up artists to fix all the women’s make-up because they had all started crying with heartfelt appreciation.

 

Natalia was right. Steve’s jaw had dropped when he caught sight of her at the end of the aisle. The occasion was just as happy as their first wedding ceremony had been, but there was a greater sense of peace in the air. They had all their friends with them and they were free. T’Challa, Ororo and little Prince Azari were near the front. Phil Coulson had made it again. Scott Lang, Hope Dyne, and Hank Pym had made the trip from San Diego. Vision, Happy Hogan and Rhodey stood together. Nick Fury was in disguise next to Ivan Simanov, Maria and Sam’s parents but Natalia knew it was him. Jean Grey had brought her husband Scott Summers and they were accompanied by Professor Xavier and Kurt, Raven’s son. Jane and Darcy were there too. Even bloody Loki in disguise was in attendance.

 

Something in the corner of her vision attracted Natalia’s attention and she glanced at it. Bruce and his wife Betty had decided to come. In spite of all the drama that had happened between them and between the gang and Thaddeus Ross, the couple were smiling genuinely and warmly at Natalia.  

 

Up front, Steve and his groomsmen stood in a neat but fidgety line of pale grey suits. Her bridal party had taken their places and Natalia had finally joined Steve to be wed in a sacred place. Steve lifted the veil she had worn to their first wedding and beamed happily at her. Natalia had donned all the same accessories she had worn on the day they had been married. The only exceptions to her appearance were the dress she’d worked her butt off to look her best in and her much longer hair that had been woven into an intricate braid that fell over her shoulder.

 

“You look exquisite,” Steve whispered.

 

“You look pretty handsome yourself,” Natalia whispered back. They both turned to the priest and were guided through the formal ritual that meant so much.

 

Steve had been astounded when he saw the support on the streets as the couple, their Beans and their wedding party made their way to the reception venue in a convoy of limos. He’d already known about the guard of honour outside the church, but the civilian support was something he had not expected. People still cheered and waved as they passed. It did not even matter that it was a week day. Lots of kisses were shared between the couple, and Natalia was glad they had the make-up artists on hand for the whole day.

 

Their reception was held at Tony’s new hotel, a building that was adjacent and connected by a few sky bridges to the lower levels of the Avenger’s Tower. The grand ballroom they’d chosen was decked out in a garden scene and was thoroughly enchanting.

 

They made it through the photo session, cocktail hour, the couple’s entrance, the speeches- of which Bucky, Sam, Tony and Thor all felt obliged to give best man toasts so that segment of the early evening took quite a while- and dinner, and  the cutting of the cake joyfully. The couple only had a small break to themselves before they would have their first dance.

 

After a quick smooch and a bathroom break, Natalia and Steve met up again ready to dance to the song they had chosen two years ago as their wedding song: ‘Again’ sung by Doris Day.

 

Steve grinned at his wife and took her hand. Gazing up at her husband, Natalia felt chills up her spine lost in the thought of the love that had directed their lives and kept them together in spite of the odds. She’d been enjoying that glow when it occurred to her that something was fundamentally wrong with the moment she found herself in.

 

It wasn’t something stupid like her own insecurities. Natalia knew how to squash those demons easily- all she had to do was look at Steve or James and Demelza and know that she’d do anything to keep the happiness she was blessed with. What she felt was the very instincts that had gotten her selected for the Red Room program: danger was imminent.

 

Without a change in her expression Natalia cast her eyes around searching for the threat as Steve led her onto the dance floor. If she felt it then surely Clint and Victoria would notice it too. Logan would have sensed it. Maybe Jean, Charles Xavier or Wanda would have skimmed the knowledge of evil intent off of the nearby minds. For sure Bucky would have picked it up. But Bucky grinned at her holding little James while Victoria held Demelza making the little girl wave as she sat next to Ivan. Clint had his arms around Laura lovingly. Everyone was watching them without a care.

 

And everything was secure.

 

Natalia mentally shook herself and wondered if she was suffering from a panic attack. Her expression did not falter as Steve took her in his arms and adopted the right stance to slow dance with her closely. But then there, peeking out from under the edge of his shirt cuff, a mark blazed at her. It should not have been there. She hoped she was seeing things, but she knew she wasn’t.

 

It was her wedding, and it wasn’t fucking fair. Yes, it may have not been the real moment where she had wed Steve Rogers- that moment was long passed and safe in her heart’s memory- but this was supposed to be their dream wedding. All the details that they’d argued over as Bucky’s suggestions kept getting more and more outlandish, all their happy friends together at last, all the support they’d gotten from the public, the damn beautiful dress that fit like a dream- all of it was for naught because she was about to ruin it. Well, the man whose arms she was dancing in ruined it. She would be the one ruining her dress.

 

A tear slipped from the corner of Natalia’s eye as she smiled at the man beaming back at her. It was _their_ wedding song playing, and the realisation of that reality made her sick to her stomach. She could not deny that she knew the blue hue and touch of green of the gaze that held hers, but she for sure did not know the soul behind them.

 

Taking the opportunity presented as he dipped her playfully, although it was too soon for the nerves she had not completely steeled, she kicked her right leg up forcefully past him and ripped the delicate lace of her gown creating a high slit. She’d had two garters on that day: one was the blue silk creation that Laura had given her and was supposed to be fished out from under her dress by her husband and most probably thrown towards one of his best friends; the other held a full round of sharp throwing blades just in case the need arose for them. Why did she have to need them?

 

Noticing the ripping sound, her dance partner’s eyes raced down her silhouette to the revealed weapons. Steve would have frozen, but _his_ eyes snapped up. It was too late though, because she already made her first strike attempt. He let go of her immediately and she would have fallen to the floor if she was an ordinary woman. But she was _Natalia Alianova Romanova-Rogers_. She was the Black Widow. Natalia flipped over in a backhand spring brandishing a second blade as she faced this Steve in a fighting stance.

 

There was no room for a gasp of surprise from the audience who had been watching them with contentment just a few seconds prior. Her opponent made sure of that by launching at her with a powerful punch. Natalia stepped aside. She knew a second punch was about to follow from the other fist, but she took the chance that she might be able to reach him and stabbed her right hand towards him, hoping to nick him at least. She missed by a hair’s breath, so moved on fluidly ducking as she bent from the waist and kicked up backwards hitting him on the back before she ducked down and swiped at his feet with her outstretched leg.

 

He jumped in time just as their guests found the air in their lungs to start screaming. Natalia knew it would only be a matter of nanoseconds before he got hold of her. He was fast- he was a super-soldier after all. She couldn’t let him get a hold of her neck or else she’d be dead and then she would lose the happiness that she’d searched for her entire life.

 

The blond man was speedy enough to grab her hair, but Natalia was an expert at wrapping around her prey like a boa constrictor and forcing them into submission. The Red Room had also taught her not to give a fuck about pain. Ignoring the excruciating sear of the yank on her scalp and the extra torture she inflicted on herself by her choice of retaliation, Natalia grabbed a hold of his thigh and used it as leverage to whip herself around him, gripping his chest with her legs and binding her arms around the person in possession of the visage she loved so much.

 

Her blade was at his throat and already cutting into the skin when her eyes met with Bucky’s five feet away from them. She’d never seen that much horror in his expression, not even the night after the Red Room directors had instructed him to demonstrate a blood eagle to a class of nine year old girls, using a failed and rendered-paralysed six year old as the demonstration model. That was a practical class and the nine year olds had to kill every member of the six year old crop because the Red Room deemed them all pitiful and wanted to start anew before wasting more resources.

 

Bucky was faced with the sight of his best friend under the blade of the infamous Black Widow- a different kind of Winter Soldier who did not need a machine because they’d raised her to be that way.

 

“It’s not him, Yasha,” Natalia huffed in Russian as her quarry struggled in her grasp, his eyes bulging and his arms clawing to get her off. He’d get her in a few seconds if she lingered. “This isn’t Steve!”

 

Perhaps it was a sign of the depth of connection that James Barnes and Natalia Romanova shared, or perhaps it was some mystic force that made Bucky understand that Mrs Rogers had to do this and that wasn’t his best friend with blood trickling from his throat as he slowly asphyxiated. The tiniest change of expression in his icy blue eyes gave Bucky’s consent. Bucky spun around to deflect the blast headed to Natalia from an enraged Tony. It may have not really been his best friend, but Bucky couldn’t watch this any longer.

 

Summoning spiritual strength that it sickened her to know she possessed, Natalia ripped into the imposter’s throat brutally. After tearing that open she hacked at his heart, sobbing as she did, screaming her pain that she knew that she could do this and was presently doing the worst act she’d committed in her entire long life.

 

The man in her hold weakened as his blood gushed to the floor. She did not notice the fierce fighting that was going on around them, the gunfire, the blasts or the crashing debris as chaos circled them. This body in her arms wasn’t _her Steve_ , but she still felt compelled to comfort him as his last moments passed. He’d sagged to the floor and the fight was leaving his body. A few twitches trembled through his body as the awful gurgling of red liquid in his open throat continued to churn in her ear. Natalia pressed a kiss into the soft blond hair at his temples, ignoring the last dig of his fingernails into her forearm.

 

And then his body was completely slack and Natalia was numb.

 

Only the simultaneous concerns about whether her babies had seen her kill what looked like their father and where their real father was spurred her on.

 

“This isn’t Steve- this isn’t our Steve,” Natalia yelled hoarsely as she raised her head to the despairing struggle around her. Tony was being held back by Bucky and they were both writhing on the floor. Vision was wrapped around James Logan. Wanda was bleeding from her nose, eyes and ears as the glow of her powers extended over a greenish Bruce, Bucky and Tony, a ruthlessly glaring Maria Hill, a screaming Sam and Nick Fury. Phil Coulson’s gun was in his hands, but Clint had him in a hold that pointed the firearm up at the ceiling. Pepper had been knocked out cold and was being attended to a frantic Scott Lang and helpful Scott Summers. Hope Dyne and Hank Pym looked like they had no idea what they should be doing. Jean Grey and Professor Xavier calmly surveyed them all in silence. Thor stood frozen in shock at the scene before him.

 

T’Challa looked Natalia in the eye with understanding. He was the only other person whom she knew would be prepared to take out Steve. Theoretically Bucky, Tony and Logan _could_ too, but T’Challa was the only other person who had been disciplined enough to prepare themselves mentally for the possibility of having to carry out that atrocious task should something ever go wrong.  

 

Victoria, Mystique and Loki were absent. Natalia knew they would be and she knew they’d have her James and Demelza with them.

 

Natalia raised the right hand of the corpse and pulled back the sleeve. There on his wrist was a HYDRA brand. It was tiny, but ugly. It was the final clue in the sudden and alarming puzzle that told Natalia’s instincts the man in front of her wasn’t to be trusted the instant she took his hand for their first dance.

 

“Steve isn’t HYDRA,” Natalia rasped. “Now can we go find my real husband right now? Somebody arranged this. They could have taken him- or worse: he could be facing their version of me.”

 

@>-`-,----

 

In the men’s room at the end of the hall outside of the ballroom that had been filled with fragrant flowers in celebration of their wedding, Steve Rogers had been finishing washing up his hands and smiling smugly at his reflection in the mirror. He knew he was one lucky punk to have all of this in his life. He’d gotten two perfect wedding days, and he almost felt like his mother’s soul was with them watching over the proceedings in his old parish’s cathedral earlier that day. The only thing that had been off was the gathering storm outside, but it would not affect them since they’d wisely chosen an indoor reception. The room was kitted out to look like a garden in full-bloom so they had the feel of an outdoor wedding they wanted. As he dried his hands, Steve wondered if it would be too much to ask Ororo if she could calm the weather if it got too tumultuous and loud. She did have her hands full with Azari, who was running around with his little Beans now.

 

“Hey soldier,” a familiar husky voice purred behind him. “Looking for a good time?”

 

“Natshechka, what are you doing in-” Steve laughed as he turned around. His voice caught in his throat as he beheld the sight before him. His beautiful wife stood waiting in nothing but wisps of lace and silk corsetry. Steve gulped in nervous desire as he quickly interpreted the carnivorous leer his wife directed at him. “Where’s your dress?”

 

“I don’t need my dress for this, Steven,” Natalia teased feigning an air of strictness. That was absolutely ridiculous because what she was asking from him was the complete opposite of any kind of disciplined behaviour. Her smile, her eyes and the way she arched her back and presented her curves to their full effect screamed delicious wanton deviancy. “Besides, the bride and groom should get a little naughty time to themselves on their wedding day.”

 

Natalia put her left hand on her hip and raised her right hand to beckon Steve closer with her index finger. Steve followed, drawn by the magnetic nature of her particular allure to him. He grinned back at her impishly as he put his hands on her hips, looking down at where his skin met hers.

 

Her scar.

 

Her scar was as dark as it had been before she got hurt so bad in Australia and he had had to transfuse her with his blood. It had been a pale mark on her skin just the day before and now it was an angrier pink. And there was something about her engagement ring that wasn’t quite right. The quality of the centre stone was inferior.

 

Steve’s head snapped up, but as he did the woman in front of him thrust the heel of her palm up into his nose. Steve reeled back after the crunch rang in his ears, staggering into the marble sink counter behind him. He opened his eyes in time to see two sharp fingers coming towards them. Steve yanked his hand up to deflect the talons away before he attempted to grab the wrist of the person they belonged to- the person who was not his Natalia.

 

Steve twisted her arm and spun her around caging her with his body. In the struggle her head dropped forward and he recognised the attempt at a head-butt, but before she followed through on that action Steve saw the tiny ugly symbol that haunted his nightmares on the nape of her neck: HYDRA’s skull and six tentacles.  

 

The redhead he was trying to subdue threw her head back but missed due to Steve’s automatic response to move out of the way. He knew how to fight Natalia. Which meant he really should have predicted the over-extended side-split kick that she landed right on his nose again, making him lose his grip on her just as the familiar notes of ‘Again’, their wedding song, trickled in from outside.

 

If they were playing his and Natalia’s wedding song, and he was in the men’s restroom fighting a Natalia look-a-like, who was out there dancing with Natalia?

 

He fucking hated it, but Steve jabbed a punch into the stomach of the redhead whose looks he was partial to as she spun around to face him. She coughed in reaction but did not stop for a second. His opponent struck him hard in the kidney twice before rounding off the attack with an uppercut.

 

Blood spurted from Steve’s lip as he kneed the woman in the back forcing her forward and into the sink counter. Her head hit the mirror and her elbow hit the tap, which must have been extremely painful because she grunted. Steve had her pinned, his body crowding hers and his arm at her throat ready to choke.

 

But instead of fear, she fucking looked at him through their reflection in the mirror so lewdly. She licked a dribble of blood from the corner of her mouth and threw Steve for a loop by swaying her hips to rub the pert rear that would have normally turned him on had it belonged to the right woman against his groin. It was move that _his Natalia_ had used to end some of their rougher sparring sessions on a pleasant note. At that moment, appalled chills ran up Steve’s spine.

 

She was… arching her back so that her vagina aligned with his…

 

Steve wanted to cast this deranged imposter away from his body, but she beat him to action by twisting free of his slackened grip and contorting around to face him. She had a blade to his throat and a grip on his hair as she chuckled darkly at him. Her legs were wrapped tightly around them, and Steve knew it would be a feat to get them untwined and escape her expert grip. Steve almost threw up as he felt her grind her privates against his.

 

“Why so shocked, Steven?” This Natalia asked as she seemed to enjoy the friction she was taking advantage of between them. Screaming and the sounds of chaos erupted in the distant background. It came from the ballroom where the real Natalia supposedly was. “Did you not think Natalia Romanova could be improved upon? Well I’m version 2.0. I come with upgrades and I can assure you I’m a whole fucking lot more fun in the sack. Now I can see by your eyes that you’ve never even thought of that possibility. Can you imagine what kind of deviant I am? Does that please you? Do want to find out in what ways I’m better?”    

 

Steve’s hands shot to her throat, not caring anymore that the woman had a blade to his. His hands crushed together and her eyes widened as her air supply was cut off. It would be quicker to snap her neck, but…

 

She looked exactly like his Natshechka and he should have just closed his eyes and carried on with it, but…

 

“Steve, please,” Natalia’s voice gasped as she struggled to speak with the last dregs of air in her lungs. “They’re making me do this. Help me, please, I’m begging you!”

 

Steve felt himself trembling as he stared down at the woman whose green eyes he loved. They were full of tears and sincerity. What if she was another Red Room graduate acting on order and unable to escape? Clint had taken a chance on Natalia when she tried to end him, and if he hadn’t then maybe Steve would have not woken up to re-meet someone he discovered he was destined to love.

 

He let go.

 

And she slugged him with all of the force she could muster, knocking him to the floor. As Steve lay sprawled on the floor, the Natalia he was combating stepped over his form and clambered behind him. She crouched on her haunches and whipped a line of assassin’s wire from a little pouch secreted in her corset.

 

“I knew you’d never be able to do it,” the woman with Natalia’s voice, face, hair and scent whispered gently in his ear as she snapped the wire over his head and began to pull the impromptu noose.    

 

She was right. Even if she hadn’t begged, Steve knew he would not have been able to completely follow through on the action. He knew it was true when he had discussed the possibility of having to put each other down permanently with Natalia when she’d been just his partner, then his team mate and then his wife. He always knew that if it came down to it, he wouldn’t be able to kill her. He’d only be able to render her unconscious even when he promised that he’d kill her if he absolutely had to. Steve would be the one to die. And now, Steve also knew that he loved Natalia so much that he could even kill the sick copy of her that was strangling him.

 

But what about his Natalia? She was still where the screams and ruckus had been coming from. He couldn’t hear if it was still going on because all he could hear was the thump of his heartbeat. Still he had no doubt that if his Natalia was facing off against another him, that she would win. He prayed that she would win. He prayed desperately that James and Demelza still had their mother. They had to be safe and live full beautiful lives- they deserved that. His heart was his weakness, and he had to hurt them this way, but he couldn’t kill the woman killing him.

 

The world was darkening around him, and he found that he wished he could have looked his assassin in the eye as she strangled him. At least then he would have died while gazing upon the love of his life’s face. But he resigned himself to never seeing her again until their divine judgement had passed. After all the crazy shit he’d endured in his unusual life, there had better be some respite after it all and Natalia had better be there too when the end of everything came.

 

He couldn’t imagine anything more beautiful than her, or the beautiful little Beans they’d brought into the world. If he could just conjure them up in his mind’s eye then this transition would be easy. He could picture Natalia’s face effortlessly, her crimson red hair and that smirk; she’d be in the wedding dress that made his jaw drop in church, the dress that was drenched in blood now… She was a vision in front of him, eyes blazing with icy vengeance.

 

Natalia found exactly what she feared when she burst into the restroom her husband had excused himself to go to earlier. Her reaction was automatic. A blade instantly found its way into the forehead of her doppelganger across the room strangling her husband with assassin’s wire. The imposter slumped as her eyes became blank.

 

Steve still gasped and writhed feebly in the floor. The assassin had tied the wire so that it continued to choke him. Natalia skid across the floor and drew out another one of her blades from her garter holster and carefully slipped it between the wire and her husband’s skin. She hoped to anything listening out there that the blade would cut the wire and that the latter was not made of vibranium or worse, adamantium.

 

It sliced through. Her vibranium blade had freed him. She knew she should have fucking been issued with vibranium-enhanced gear years ago! Steve gulped for air and Natalia dragged him into her arms and away from the abomination of an imposter. Running her eyes over the still corpse to check if she was indeed dead, Natalia noticed the same tiny ugly symbol she’d seen on Steve’s doppelganger earlier peeking out from under the redhead imposter’s hair near the nape of her neck.

 

Chancing the opportunity to look at her recovering husband, Natalia gripped his head in her hands and turned his bewildered face to hers. He was still panting, and there were tears in his eyes but he was alive and there right in front of her. Natalia kissed him with reverence and gratitude, which he returned in full.

 

“You’re alive,” Natalia whimpered.

 

“You’re alive,” Steve whispered hoarsely.

 

“I love you so much,” Natalia sobbed.

 

“I love you too,” Steve replied as he pressed his lips to hers again passionately.

 

Behind them they could hear the rest of their friends- Bucky, Sam, Clint, Tony, Bruce, Logan, Jean, Wanda and Pietro- pile in and exclaim at the scene they were confronted with.

 

“The twins?” Steve asked shakily as he tried to sit up.

 

“Victoria and I always have a plan,” Natalia answered him.

 

“We should rendezvous,” Steve told her.

 

“They’re securing the building, but I think what just happened proves we need to ensure that nothing else bad occurs,” Natalia said determinedly.

 

“Steve,” Bucky uttered in a broken gasp as he cautiously knelt next to the couple.

 

“I couldn’t kill her,” Steve mumbled. Natalia and Bucky dragged him further away from the corpse of the doppelganger assassin as Logan stepped up to check her over. Jean Grey hovered behind him and confirmed that she had no brain activity.

 

“I know,” Natalia soothed. Her face hardened into a grimace before she admitted: “I killed him. He died in my arms. I had to get to you.”

 

“I knew you’d win,” Steve reassured her.

 

“You need to come take a look at what’s happening outside,” Clint called from the door. His eyes ran over the scene, and flicked back to the dead body that looked like the sister he’d adopted. Clint returned his gaze to the living occupants of the room and elucidated further: “There’s a storm brewing. It’s getting catastrophically worse fast and nothing that Storm or Thor is doing is affecting it.”

 

As he finished speaking the air became charged with the tension of electricity and blinding white light flashed outside the building. A huge crack of thunder roared and more screaming could be heard and did not stop as peals of thunder resounded almost simultaneously as the lightning outside struck.

 

“Guys,” Tony said calmly as he watched security feed from the screen of his watch. “I’m not exaggerating when I say that the cloud cover outside currently looks ‘Independence Day’ meets ‘War of the Worlds’ bad. There’s no way this could be natural.”

 

“Of course,” Natalia grumbled. “Not only would I have to face off against my husband’s murderous doppelganger, shoot my HYDRA-allied copy to keep her from killing my actual husband and ruin my dress so that I may never be able to store it away as a sentimental memento- Yeah Murphy, rain shit on us now- but we’re probably going to have to fucking suit up and deal with Alien Invasion shit again!”  

 

“Um, then I guess I shouldn’t say anything about the Hulk-look-alike rampaging through Manhattan,” Tony remarked.

 

“Aaaaand T’Challa’s running him down,” Sam said as he looked over Tony’s shoulder at the screen of his watch. Bruce blinked wildly at his science-bro.

 

“What?!” Bruce exclaimed. “That’s not possible. How the fuck? Let me see that.” Bruce yanked on Tony’s wrist to examine the screen and became very, very pale.

 

“I have to go stop that… whatever it is,” Bruce declared.

 

“You need back up,” Tony told him.

 

“I’m straight up ready to go,” Bucky declaring brandishing his vibranium ring before he activated it to form his arm brace.

 

“Already dressed,” Pietro said as he zipped back in having disappeared for a few seconds. He handed Wanda her uniform as he had access to her biometrically controlled gear locker in the Avengers Tower.

 

“I’m always ready,” Wolverine reminded them as his adamantium claws cut through his skin and extended to full length.

 

“My gear comes to me,” Tony announced as he held out his arms and pieces of his Iron Man suit flew in to attach to him. “Everyone suit up. We’ll tackle this extra Other Guy so long.”    

 

“Let Vis know- he and Rhodey are guiding people out to safety. The Wakandans already evacuated Prince Azari out and are helping with clearing the building where they can,” Clint called listening in on security frequencies with his modified hearing-aids as he helped Natalia and Steve to their feet. “We’re gonna make a pit stop at the safe-room Victoria led everyone to. If they’ve got clones of Nat, Steve and Bruce who’s to say they don’t have clones of all of us. We’ve got to send them to safety.”

 

Natalia, Steve, Sam and Clint ran as fast as they could towards the safe room with Clint on the phone giving Maria an update. Natalia had kicked off her shoes back in the ballroom so could give her all to their exertion. They crossed over the sky bridge and into the Avengers Tower before heading two levels up to the nearest safe room where Natalia had agreed with Victoria they should head to in their contingency plans.

 

They quickly gave their vocal prompts to F.R.I.D.A.Y. and the A.I. let them into the well-stocked safe room. Inside Victoria, Mystique, Loki, Laura, Cooper, Lila, Nathan and Baby James and Baby Demelza blinked back at them expectantly. Natalia felt sick about coming near her babies stained with the blood of a man who looked exactly like their father but for the horrible HYDRA brand on his wrist.

 

Steve recognised her discomfort immediately and took the twins from Victoria and Mystique and brought them over so the couple could check over their offspring together.

 

“Let me guess,” Victoria sighed as she saw Natalia’s blood drenched appearance and the completely ragged garb the guys were left with. “Another bloody alien invasion.”

 

“I swear I have nothing to do with it this time,” Loki promised. He’d returned to his natural full-on blue appearance along with Mystique.

 

“They have HYDRA-branded clones of us,” Natalia explained. “The ones of me and Steve are dead, but there’s currently an extra Hulk barrelling through downtown Manhattan.”

 

“We have to suit up, but we needed to check on you,” Clint elucidated.

 

“There might be other versions of us who could trick you,” Sam informed them. “You need to get out of here.”

 

“Loki and Mystique,” Steve asked seriously. “Can you get everyone out of here discreetly and off to somewhere clones wouldn’t think to find the people we love?”

 

“I’m the king of sneaking,” Loki replied.

 

“And I’m the empress of survival,” Mystique added.

 

“I know where we can go,” Victoria announced. “I have the best network of paranoid former spies.”

 

“Then take James and Demelza and go,” Natalia pleaded. “Wait for my word before you return.” Victoria took the twins in her arms again after their parents gave them final kisses goodbye. Sam was already hailing the speed elevator and Clint was saying his goodbyes as well. “Thank you, Vicky.”

 

“Look after each other everyone,” Steve instructed as they left and Loki made the little group join hands before they disappeared.

 

Natalia practically ran through the decontamination showers on the Avengers pre-mission prep level before sliding into her suit. Clint and Sam were joining the aerial fight with Thor, Storm and the X-men’s Blackbird which carried Professor X, Jean Grey, Cyclops and Nightcrawler. Steve and Natalia were taking the speed elevator down to the vehicle level. Steve’s shield was in the limo boot, and he felt like an idiot for leaving it there. Natalia didn’t blame him for it though. Why would the retired Captain bring his shield to his wedding reception? The building was supposedly secure. There was so much security it was as though the President was attending- well, they did have a ruling king and queen in attendance.

 

Steve and Nat ran over to the limo they had arrived in and almost fell over in surprise at the sight they found waiting for them: Deadpool was crouched next to Wolverine’s Harley-Davidson motorcycle caught in the act of scratching a drawing of a hairy penis out on the paintwork with a Swiss Army knife.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK, WADE?!” Natalia bellowed. “The world is going to shit outside and you’re vandalising Logan’s motorbike!”

 

“What’s happening where now?” Deadpool asked as he straightened up and flicked his knife closed. He extended a hand to Steve. “Hi, I’m Wade. My enemies call me Deadpool.”

 

Steve reached for the proffered hand, but Deadpool snatched it back. “Sike! Just kidding.”

 

“Steve Rogers,” Steve introduced himself with a firm shake when he got hold of Deadpool’s hand, before he returned his attention to acquiring his shield.

 

“There’s evil clones of us running around. Right now a clone of the Hulk is on the loose,” the Black Widow explained quickly. “We’ve already defeated clones of Steve and myself, but we think that there might be more doppelgangers of Earth’s heroes. This might be the beginning of an invasion we’ve been worried will be launched against us.” 

 

“That sounds fun. Can I join?” Deadpool asked as the Black Widow and the Captain picked out an armoured motorbike and got on together. Natalia glowered at him. “Oh, well I guess y’know, I’m kinda a little obliged to, being a capable inhabitant of Earth and all.”

 

“People’s lives are in danger,” Steve reminded them.

 

“The bikes don’t need keys. Just push the button to start them,” Natalia instructed Deadpool as Steve revved the bike they were on.

 

“Wait, one question,” Deadpool protested. Steve and Natalia stared at him impatiently. “Do you think everybody has a clone? Because if they do and I ran into mine, I feel like we’d get along- kinda like Scott and Nega-Scott in ‘Scott Pilgrim vs the World’. We’d definitely go to Brony events together.”

 

Steve looked perplexed and Natalia gave the red and black masked man in front of her a withering look before she promptly shot him in the thigh.

 

“Stop being an idiot and help us!” She yelled over her shoulder as they rode off to join the fight.

 

Soon the couple found the chaos that the two brawling Hulks were wreaking. It did not help anyone that no one could tell which one was which as they tumbled around in a green blur.

 

“We need to get them out of the city,” Natalia yelled to Steve.

 

“We’ve got Jean Grey on it,” Tony’s voice announced in their ears. Sure enough both Hulks were levitated up off the streets as the Blackbird hovered nearby. Wolverine was in the middle of that brawl too and could be seen attacking the Hulk that wasn’t wearing the vestiges of wedding appropriate suit.

 

“We still got incoming though,” Tony informed them. “There’s a fake Clint taking shots at us.”

 

“Am I going to have to kill the clone of my best friend as well?!” Natalia exclaimed exasperatedly.

 

“The Spidey in our midst is fake as well,” Tony added. “I just confirmed with the real Peter Parker that he is still on a forced vacation in New Jersey with his aunt.”

 

“Poor kid,” Steve remarked as he diverted their path into a storied parkade.

 

“Guys, I’m fighting me,” Bucky’s voice told them on their communication channel. “He’s got a metal arm. T’Challa’s here and Storm just struck the other me with lightning- he’s fucking unstoppable. Just don’t shoot me if you join us.”

 

“Nat take the shot,” Steve ordered as they finally got a clear view of the enemy Hawkeye. The guy even had the same uniform as Clint.

 

“Clint talk to me so I know it’s you I’m not shooting,” Natalia prompted her best friend.

 

She got a double response and knew that the enemy Hawkeye had tuned in to their communications with his hearing aids. They must have had the same modifications as their Clint’s had.

 

“Nat, the real me is in the sky in a Quinjet escorting the Blackbird with Falcon on standby,” Clint’s voice reassured her. The Clint over on the opposite building’s lips hadn’t moved.

 

“What was the colour of that tea cup in Budapest?” Natalia demanded so she could confirm his identity.

 

“I say teal, you say sea-green,” Clint’s voice told her. There was still no lip movement from the Clint on the building opposite as he surveyed his surroundings for incoming threats. Natalia took the shot and got the enemy Clint in the head.  

 

“I’ve got a fake Iron Man trying to kidnap Vision here!” Tony yelled through the communication system. “Thor’s with me but we could use a little help. What the hell? The Fantastic Four! Stretch- I thought we were science bros!”

 

“The real Fantastic Four are in Houston at NASA, Tony!” Natalia corrected him. “Sue Storm Skyped her congratulations live just before this mess started up!”

 

“I’m going to have to watch this fight between Pietro and Fake Human Torch again later, then,” Tony told them as Steve drove them off the top of the parkade and straight into the Fake Winter Soldier.

 

The Fake Winter Soldier was as mechanically efficient as Bucky had been and swung himself back onto the top of the building as Steve and Natalia leapt off and rolled into fighting stances. Black Panther, Bucky, Black Widow and the Captain launched simultaneously at the Fake Winter Soldier engaging in a brutal ballet.

 

“I also have to watch the fight between Scarlett Witch and Fake Invisible Woman later,” Tony told them. “I’d be laughing if I wasn’t being blasted in the ass by _Imitation Man_.”

 

In the skies overhead, Thor was struggling and bound by the body of Fake Mister Fantastic, while Vision repeatedly changed his body density to avoid the clutches of the Thing who was trying to put one of those alien collars on him. The synthezoid was wary of using his laser powers in such a built up area with civilians still around.

 

“Unhand me Taffy-man!” Thor growled at Fake Mister Fantastic, which the guy actually took offence to.

 

“I’m called Mister Fantastic! Why does everyone come up with these stupid monikers for us!” Fake Mister Fantastic complained.

 

“I do that to everybody and I guess it rubbed off on my friends,” Iron Man interjected as he grabbed a hold of Fake Mister Fantastic while Fake Iron Man recovered from a meeting with a billboard. The metal armoured man zoomed around untangling Thor and whacking his own clone with the stretching human before winding Mister Fantastic around the Iron Man doppelganger, tying his hands and feet together and throwing the pair down towards the empty pavement.

 

Unfortunately they bounced and came straight back up at Tony and Thor knocking the teammates into the side of a building. Thankfully that office had already been evacuated and no one was hurt. Manhattan had gotten very efficient with evacuation drills, especially the buildings within the vicinity of the Avengers Tower.

 

Natalia glanced up from her fight with the Fake Winter Soldier and spotted a dreadful sight: Fake Iron Man had gotten a control collar on Vision. It was obvious that they were targeting Vision specifically.

 

Then it all clicked into place within Natalia’s mind. Vision had the Mind Stone. Thor’s investigations had started off with searching for more information on the Infinity Stones. He was worried that someone might seek them out. These imposters had come here to fight them so that they could retrieve the Mind Stone and they probably had to kidnap Vision to do that. Or at least Natalia hoped they wouldn’t slaughter their friend in front of them to retrieve the stone.

 

She knew she couldn’t get up there. There was no way to do that in time. There was also no way to avoid the punch to the face that the Fake Winter Soldier threw at her. Natalia reeled and stumbled back. She spat out blood and was damn thankful for the Red Room serum that had changed her DNA when she didn’t spit teeth out as well. The Fake Winter Soldier was the recipient of instant karma when the Black Widow kicked him directly in the balls while he was distracted on all sides by the Black Panther, Bucky and the Captain. His eyes bulged and he gasped audibly as his knees buckled. The men he was fighting paused in sympathy, but Natalia had none. She drove a dagger straight down into his skull, not even waiting to watch him fall as she returned her attention back up to the skies.

 

In the time that she was distracted, War Machine had rescued Vision from the clutches of Fake Iron Man and was headed towards them as Tony and Thor continued to battle it out against their foes.

 

“This design is different!” Natalia announced as War Machine laid Vision before her. “I don’t know if I can get this off safely. I need Wanda.”

 

“Let me take a look,” the Black Panther suggested as he knelt down beside her.

 

“They want Vision because he has the Mind Stone- that’s the only thing it can be,” the Black Widow told her team mates.

 

“Wanda and Pietro need our help,” Bucky stated looking off into the distance where his girlfriend and her brother were fighting another pair of siblings. He started off towards them but was forced to jump back when a web-covered Fake Thing and Fake Spiderman pile bounced onto the rooftop they were on. Natalia and Steve peered over the edge of his shield, which they’d taken cover from the flying object under, at the direction which the dead bodies had been thrown from.

 

“My bad!” Deadpool yelled from a neighbouring building.

 

The team blinked at him before Bucky and Steve started towards the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver’s battles. They’d only reached the end of the roof when a brilliant green light zapped towards the fights they were aiming to join.

 

Bucky shrieked at the sight before him in disbelief and grief. More green light zapped around them, but the pair had barely any time to register what had happened before their eyes. Thankfully the smoke cleared quickly and they saw Quicksilver blurring towards cover with the Scarlet Witch in his arms. The pair stopped in a doorway to look at something behind Steve and Bucky.

 

“Steve,” Natalia called cautiously.

 

Steve and Bucky carefully turned around to see a spaceship hovering above Natalia, T’Challa, Rhodey, the limp-bodied Vision and the smoking pile of remains that was the evil clones. There appeared to be a raccoon flying it.

 

“Hey, I know this is going to sound weird, but I’m going to need the stone in the red guy’s head,” the raccoon announced over a loudhailer system.

 

A raccoon was talking to them.

 

Another larger spaceship, that the smaller ship seemed to be a more manoeuvrable fighter pod of, pulled up to hover next to the talking raccoon’s craft and a vibrantly green woman could be seen piloting. Next to her a bald greyish buff guy with intricate red scarification adorning his skin stared at them. A humanoid man popped his head out of a hatch on top and yelled: “Damn it Rocket Raccoon! Raccoons don’t talk on Earth. You’re freaking them out.”

 

The blond curly-haired man waved at them and beamed in a friendly manner.

 

“Hi! I’m Star-Lord,” he introduced himself. “I’m from Earth too. First time back though. Shit! Are you Captain America? How are you alive, dude? My mom had collectible cards passed down from my grandpa of you.”

 

“Actually it’s just ‘Captain’ now. Fighting for the whole world and all when they need me,” Steve explained gesturing to his plain blue uniform. “I was frozen in ice for seven decades. Um, what’s going… on?”

 

By this time Thor and Tony had landed on the roof top and Pietro had zoomed Wanda up with him. The Scarlet Witch skidded to Vision’s side and used her powers to release him. Vision shot up and Wanda hugged him telling him it would be alright as the others continued to talk.

 

“My girlfriend Gamora’s ex-adoptive-dad is trying to take over the Universe,” Star-Lord explained while pointing down at the green woman who was piloting. “He’s been infiltrating your planetary organisations to get what he wants on your world- I think one of them called HYDRA. We’re trying to stop him so we need to get your red friend over there somewhere more secure or just get the stone in his head somewhere safe if he can live without it. It would really help if he could live without it.”

 

“I am Thor of Asgard, if the stone is to be under anyone’s protection it should fall under mine,” Thor declared firmly. “Who are you to claim such authority?”

 

“We’re the Guardians of the Galaxy,” Star-Lord declared with a practised air of coolness.

 

“That was seriously lame,” Deadpool jibed from his seat on the ledge of the adjacent building while played PokemonGo on his phone. “You have to do it again. This is your introduction into the story and so far people are annoyed.”

 

“Excuse me, jackass,” Star-Lord retorted, “Who the hell are you?”

 

“Deadpool,” he stated after putting his phone aside. “Boom! Can’t beat that level of awesome name selection.”

 

“For some reason I like you,” The raccoon called Rocket… Raccoon declared looking at the red and black masked man.

 

“We’d probably have good street cred together,” Deadpool mused as he studied the small creature.

 

“Getting back to the point,” a woman’s strangely accented voice interrupted. It was the green woman called Gamora speaking. “Thanos wants that stone and we have to do everything we can to keep it from falling into his hands.”

 

“So it _is_ Thanos,” Thor confirmed. “It is as I feared.”

 

“And so you should, Asgardian,” Gamora replied. “Thanos will lay waste to all who try to stand in his way. He created all of this just to get the stone. If you want Earth to survive then you must get the stone off this planet and into safety.”

 

“Listen here,” Natalia spoke up in a clear commanding voice. “We’re Earth’s front line of defence. When shit happens we’re there. Vision is family and we’re not letting you cart him off where we might never see him again. If you want our co-operation then land those ships. We need to talk.”

 

Just then Falcon with Hawkeye in his arms and dropped his passenger off.

 

“What the shit happened?” Sam exclaimed as he landed among his friends and eyed the spaceships warily.

 

A great booming voice rasped from the loudhailer system of the raccoon’s ship:  “Groooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot.”

 

The voice appeared to belong to a tree-like creature who was in the raccoon’s spaceship and that everyone had assumed to be elaborate botanical décor.

 

“I told you to fly as the crow flies but no you had to swerve through the buildings,” Clint grumbled. “And now we’re negotiating with an Ent.”

 

“Well, Legolas, I thought you were one with the forest and all,” Tony smirked.

 

Rocket Raccoon sighed loudly and explained: “Groot here just gave you a run-down of what happened.”

 

“They claim to be some sort of Galaxy Police or something. They want the Mind Stone in Vision’s head for safe keeping because some megalomaniac called Thanos is after it and sent those clones,” Natalia told Clint and Sam.

 

“It’s not even Friday,” Sam muttered. “This is weekend-ruining-Earth-in-a-cataclysm shit. This should not be going down on a _Thursday_!”

 

“Hey, our wedding just got ruined,” Steve pointed out as he stepped next to Natalia.

 

“What!” Star-Lord exclaimed. “I returned to Earth on the day that Captain America gets married! This is so frikkin’ awesome.”

 

“If we could, it would have been wise to try to keep him and Coulson apart. But that’s basically impossible,” Tony remarked as he watched the two spaceships manoeuvre to land on the rooftop of the parkade that Steve and Natalia had driven their bike off of.

 

“Hey, I was wondering: are there still two Hulks brawling?” Deadpool asked Tony and Sam. “Because I totally want to see that.”

 

“Do we trust them Nat?” Steve asked his wife quietly. “We don’t know anything about them.”

 

“They know of Thanos,” Thor stated in an undertone that did not carry.

 

“It doesn’t hurt to gather information on an opponent,” Bucky reminded. 

 

“We may not have light year traversing spaceships, but we’re Earth’s Avengers. We’re the best the planet has on their side,” Natalia declared. “Don’t worry, we got this.”

 

 

THE END @>-`-,----

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to acknowledge that ‘Peaky Blinders’ got me into the head space to write this finale. I cried a couple of times when I wrote this chapter- I’m sure you can guess where. There was so much ground to cover and I hope that the way that it ended sits well with you all. I felt like I shouldn’t go all the way into Infinity Wars, but give you an indication that it was about to get real bad for the Avengers. That’s the next catastrophe in the gang’s lives, but I won’t be writing it. 
> 
> I did have a lot of fun writing this story though. It took a lot longer than I initially thought and became way more complex than I planned, but hearing from you the readers really made me happy. I’m glad I contributed to the fandom, and I’m glad you all accepted my story as worthy of your time. Thank you for the kudos and the praise. Thank you for theorising and expressing your hopes and for reminding me of threads I had to pay more attention to. 
> 
> This story is at its end. 
> 
> But there will be a companion series, which will probably be more drabblish if I can restrain myself from launching into long tangents. It’s called ‘Got This- Almost Dropped This’, so look out for it. Halloween (31 October 2016) should see the first chapter posted.


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